Chapter 10 - Finding Delilah

A/N: Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter! A number of factors went into it taking awhile to get up. The biggest one, which is also good new for you, is that I ended up writing a large chunk and then figuring out where to put the breaks - meaning that the next three chapters are essentially ready to go and will be posted shortly. :) A lot of changes are coming up, so I hope you enjoy! Also, a huge thanks to my husband for helping me out with these chapters.

Emilia rode atop her horse, her thoughts dwelling on her conversation with Alistair the day prior. She had felt the presence of a Warden just outside the door for part of their conversation. She knew that meant one of three people had been eavesdropping, it was easy for her to determine which of the three voices had spoken to the guards in hushed tones just outside the door - the smooth yet rough, leathery voice of Nathaniel Howe. She was certain Nathaniel had heard Alistair mention her past crush on him, accuse her of currently having feelings for him. But thankfully, Alistair brought out his silly self after one of her petty insults - something she never could resist laughing at.

Then Nathaniel had gone. Emilia was relieved at the absence of the Grey Warden bond from outside the room. She was then comfortable when Alistair continued the conversation, giving his advice as a Grey Warden:

"Send him back to the Free Marches. He can serve the Wardens there."
"No, I won't force another change upon him," she insisted.
Then Alistair had a rare moment of wisdom. "Are you certain he wouldn't rather be back there than serving under you? Consider giving him the choice, Emmy."

But she didn't want to give him that choice. No matter how true Alistair's words rang, she was selfish and didn't want to give him up just after getting him back. But you don't have him back. He hates you. She reminded herself. Perhaps it would be for the best. Then her thoughts returned to her suffering order and lands. But he knows the arling better than just about anyone. His aid will be invaluable in dealing with these darkspawn. I need his help. She justified her selfishness with business. But no matter how many reasons she came up with to keep him around, the truth was still there under everything and she knew it: she wanted him here. She wanted to be friends again. Perhaps even to be more than friends. But then she lied to herself, told herself that desire was in the past. She suppressed any hope because she knew he could never love her, not after she killed his father. She would be lucky to simply have his trust. When this is over...I'll give him a choice. I'll let him go back to the Free Marches if he so desires.

Further back in the group, Oghren shifted uncomfortably in his saddle. He grumbled, and Anders couldn't resist making a comment.

"Everything alright, dwarf?" the mage pried.

Oghren mumbled something about it being fine and Anders minding his own business, which only provoked the young mage. "You've got a rash, don't you? I can help with that you know." Anders winked at Oghren, knowing it would make the dwarf uncomfortable.

"You'll keep your hands away from my bronto!" Oghren shouted. Anders snickered and teased him more. Nathaniel used their conversation as a way to approach the Warden-Commander without the other two hearing him ask her for a favor.

Her brow was twisted, her lips turned downward, and her viridian eyes distant. Nathaniel hated to ask her this when she was in such a dismal mood, but seeing as they were approaching Amaranthine, he had no choice but to ask her now. "Warden-Commander Cousland."

Emilia visibly shook out of whatever world she had been in, answering Nathaniel's call with a simple hum.

"Sorry to distract you, ma'am," he continued respectfully, wanting to give himself the best chance at her obliging his request.

"It's alright, Warden Howe. What do you need?" She flashed her shimmering emerald eyes in his direction.

The way the sunlight caught in her eyes and made them sparkle caught Nathaniel off guard - he found that twinkle captivating. He cleared his throat and shook off the feeling. "I've heard news that my sister is alive and living in the city. Could we find her?"

Emilia smiled widely, happily, with no trace of sinister intentions on her face. Her mood had completely changed. "'Lilah is in Amaranthine! I had a feeling, but was awaiting confirmation. This is wonderful news!" the Warden-Commander beamed.

Nathaniel, confused, knotted his dark brow and voiced his skepticism of her excitement. "The last time I saw you, you wanted nothing to do with my sister. Now you have a pet name for her?"

Emilia nodded, recognizing the fairness in his confusion. "After you left, she and I grew close. At first it was simply because I would rather spend time with her than Thomas, but we ended up becoming the best of friends. 'Lilah and 'Lia, we called each other."

Nathaniel's brow remained scrunched towards the center of his forehead. "What could the two of you have possibly had in common to become so close?" he questioned critically.

"At first, nothing. But we both saw that we could learn things from the other. As I grew up, I knew I needed to behave properly in court - Delilah taught me what that mask should look like. In return, I taught her how to read people. How to influence them subtly to get what she wanted."

Nathaniel scowled. His sister had always remained the innocent member of the family. His father didn't want her involved in politics. Rendon's plan had been keep her quiet and marry her off to improve his status. She would have known nothing of manipulation if it weren't for Emilia. "You turned my sister into a monster," he accused.

The Cousland snickered. "On the contrary, Warden Howe. Your sister had no interest in using charm in any offensive manner like me." She smirked arrogantly. "I taught her how to defend herself from monsters. And considering she's remained hidden so close to home all this time, I was clearly a good teacher."

As the group approached the market in Amaranthine, Nathaniel grew visibly anxious. Sweat on his brow. Stiffened shoulders. Subtle things, but Emilia noticed them. Across the way, a head of slick, shiny black hair reflected the sun. The woman it belonged to leaned over a table, writing something down. Her dark locks blocked most of her pale face. She tucked tendrils behind her ear, revealing the same silver eyes as Nathaniel. Emilia immediately recognized her friend.

Being that she was at the front of the group, Delilah first noticed Emilia when she lifted her head. "'Lia!" She smiled, warmly embracing her friend. From over Emilia's shoulder, Delilah's silver eyes found Nathaniel's matching ones. "Nathaniel," the Howe sister whispered, releasing her friend.

Emilia grinned and stepped aside, allowing the siblings to close the distance. "Maker's breath - you're alive," Nathaniel softly spoke as he held her in a tight embrace.

"I thought I would never see you again," Delilah managed, tears making it difficult for her to speak.

Nathaniel pulled back, hands on her arms. "I heard you've married a merchant. Are you happy, Delilah? We could bring you back to the Keep - "

Delilah's giggle interrupted Nathaniel's thought. "I'm very happy, Nate," she lovingly rubbed her belly. "Come, there is much to discuss." The sister turned her attention back to Emilia for a moment. "'Lia, I certainly didn't expect to find my brother in your company. It seems he and I have much catching up to do. Could I borrow him for a bit?"

Of all the Howes in Thedas, Delilah was the one Emilia knew she could always trust. "Absolutely." The Warden-Commander turned back to Nathaniel. "Anders, Oghren and I will take care of our other business in the city and come back here once we're done. That should give you enough time."

Shocked by her willingness to leave him with Delilah, Nathaniel managed a simple affirmative nod.