Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note

To Handle with Kid Gloves

Chapter 10: hazy

…

"I finished!" came the victory cry of one, surprisingly, giddy Light. He had finally finished the drawing L had asked him to, even adding in a few details that the sweet loving male asked for. "Really?" came the slightly amused voice of L.

"Yup!" the brunette said with a nod of his head. "But this is only the sketch of it, I still plan to put it on canvas" all cheer left Light as a seriousness found its way back into his tone. For a second he wonders why he had been so excited about the finished drawing. It wasn't like the picture was that important. It was simple, like most of his drawing and paintings. Maybe it was because for once, he wasn't drawing it for himself but for L as well, and maybe, just maybe, he wanted to get some form of approval from the other teen even though he knew that L liked the drawing already.

"It looks great" Light jumped at the closeness of the voice, looking up to see L standing right next to him, holding the book with the sketch in it. 'When did he…?' shaking his head, Light put on a small, partially real, smile. "Thanks, I even drew it that my head was lifted and that my gaze was to that of the viewer, like you asked."

"You didn't have to do that though, the picture would have looked great either way…" L mumbled out, putting the book back down on Lights table. "I did it because you asked me to…" L's eyes caught with Lights as the brunette said those words. A spark shot through their gaze and they immediately looked away. "Thank you then" L muttered, walking back to his side of the room.

He was surprised to hear that the brunette had actually added that one detail because he had asked for it. If anything, he would have been less surprised if the younger teen had left out the detail, or better yet, just didn't do the picture finished. But he did finish the picture and he had added the detail.

Sure he only finished it now and it had already been a week since their tickle war, and approximately one and a half weeks since L found Light in the bathroom, covered in his own blood due to the teens self-harming habits.

"Light?" L called out as he finally sat back in his chair and looked over a file on his computer. L and Light were back in school, well Light was back in school, L was just off his week 'vacation'. "Yeah?" the brunette called out.

"Would you consider seeing a therapist?" The brunettes eyes widen at the sudden question. 'Would I consider…What?' "For your cutting habit" L added. "Its… that isn't any of your business…" the brunette said through clenched teeth, letting out a low growl from the base of his throat. "Light, I am just trying to help… you have a serious problem"

"Just. Just leave it Ryuzaki… it'd got nothing to do with you…just… just go do your work" Light's attitude towards the other was cold and indifferent compared to how he had been treating him the past few days and L was starting to get fed up. "Don't tell me to just leave it. If you haven't noticed I was the one who actually cared to get you help when I found you bleeding out on the floor due to you cutting yourself" he emphasized the last part of his sentence, making sure to get the point across to the brunette but Light only scowled and grit his teeth.

"Then why didn't you just leave me there to die?" his voice dripped with ice, glaring at the black haired teen with cruel eyes. And there it was again, that loneliness that always shined through his eyes but had been dim for the past few days that L had been looking after him. "Because you are my friend" L said, shocking Light slightly.

"I am no one's friend, I am nothing… and that will never change" the brunette said before abruptly getting up from his bed and running out the room. L sat there, stunned at the words Light had said. 'How could he say something like that about himself… if anything… he isn't nothing but everything… his Light. The only person besides Mello, Matt and Near that I can have an intellectual conversation with… and not to mention he is not as young as Mello and the others… Light is my only friend…'

L knew that if he had thought of this a little over two weeks ago and he would have been denying it as if it were some fake truth. 'Light is everything and more…' if L knew any better he would say that he liked Light a little more that was needed in terms of friendship. 'Me liking Light in that way is barbarous and just not possible… Light is a boy' he would probably say to himself because let's face the facts, he didn't know anything when it came to stuff like this.

Getting up, L makes his way over to the door, knowing that he would need to get to the brunette before he did something completely stupid. Which, knowing Light, was a high possibility because no matter how smart the brunette was, he was still ignorant. And L would not have the brunette do anything stupid like he had before.

(L's POV)

I had searched for Light for at least two hours before giving up. He would eventually come back to the room… at least I was hoping.

I god why does he always have to run? He ran that last time and times before that and now his running again. His keeping everything in, blocking everything inside and away from harm. I could understand that Light was like a glass flower, one crack and it would crumble. I can tell that it has many cracks but he somehow managed to keep everything standing, though not so much.

Cutting, he was cutting to help himself cope. That wasn't the best way to get things out or to help you feel better. In fact, it just ended up making you feel worse. Though I wouldn't know because I never tried it. And not because I never found the need to, but because I knew better than to do something such as harming myself.

The consequences from cutting were severe. You could always cut the wrong way, too deep, or something, and you could end up losing your life.

Most humans are able to literally rip the flesh off of their own arms or bodily parts, but there is a nerve in their brain that stops this. now this goes for cutting oneself. A nerve in your brain stops you from doing so, but for Light, and others who cause harm upon them, that nerve is either not working or he somehow manages to block all messages it sends through his body.

What was he doing to himself? If this carried on, I don't think he would be able to make it… his become so engrossed with his self-harming, I don't even think he would listen to me if I told him to get the help he needs. He takes cutting as a routine, and he hadn't done it for the past week and a half… I don't even want to think about him cutting to make up for all the days he couldn't because I was watching him like a hawk.

Why couldn't he just accept that I wanted to help him? Why couldn't he just accept that my intentions were true and why couldn't he just accept that he was actually loved and appreciated. That he wasn't nothing?

The sound of the door opening caught my attention and I slowly let my gaze fall on it, waiting expectantly. And in waltzed the person I had searched two hours for, his back bunched and his head bowed, walking slow, agonizing, steps to his bed. He said nothing as he just plopped himself down roughly. His skin was paler than usual and this alone aroused suspicion in me.

I got up from my chair and walked over to his bed, sitting down next to him. He said nothing. I lifted my hand up and took his one that lay limply at his side, pulling up the sleeve and checking for any new cuts that he could have possibly made. And sure enough, there they were, red and swollen. I looked at his next arm to find more cuts. And then on his stomach. No surprise finding a fresh set of cuts there as well.

"Light-." I start but the brunette cuts me off. "Shut up and clean them" he commands and I nod my head, getting up to find the first aid kit we kept in the bathroom, which wouldn't be too hard to find since I still had to put ointment on Lights wounds even though they were mostly healed, some were just really deep.

When I found the kit, I took that as well as a cloth that I ran under the hot water for a few seconds, and I took a towel. I made my way back into the room and found Light sitting on my bed, how surprising. "Light…?" I call out and he only looks up at me with those lonely, and hurt, eyes. "I… feel better when I'm here" he said and I nod my head even though I didn't really get it…

I get started at cleaning his wounds, making sure to bandage them up. When I finished, Light got up to get ready for bed, since it was a little late, which made me wonder where he had been for the past three or four hours… we all have a curfew and that is until six thirty, or seven if you're lucky. It was strict rules for a strict school/orphanage.

When Light finished getting ready he looked over at me with the same eyes as before. "May I sleep in your bed?" he asked, his voice monotonous. Did he want to feel safe or something? Or was the little loss of blood affecting him more than what it was supposed to? Sleep in my bed? Since when did Light Yagami ever want to sleep in something that was mine?

"Sure" I say despite the current thoughts in my head. "Can you sleep there too?" yup, the blood loss was affecting him more than it should have. "What are you talking about?" the brunette only shrugs. "You need rest"

"Light…" I mumble out but the brunette only shakes his head. "Those bags are getting worse and let me tell you, they aren't that attractive…" what a weird thing to say. "Just listen and sleep for once…" I sigh heavily, knowing that Light wouldn't sleep himself unless I was asleep.

"Climb in while I switch off the lights." I mutter out and he nods his head, climbing out of the covers. I walk over to the light switch and flick it off, the room going dark save for the moon light that shone through our curtained windows. I manage to make my way over to my bed and climb under the covers without stumbling in the dark.

Light and I were facing each other, looking directly into one another's eyes, the moonlight making it possible to see the features of the other. A silence ensued before it was broken by Light. "L… Kiss me" my eyes widen at the demand. "L-light? Are you feeling okay, you're acting weird…" he looks at me with those same eyes, leaving me lost in them. "L…Please…" he begs, actually begs.

That loss of blood was definitely making him a little loopy… demanding I sleep in the same bed and now this? What the hell. "Ever since our first kiss… I couldn't get the feel out of my head and off of my lips…" he admits and my eyes widen more, if that was possible. "Light… what are you saying?" he shakes his head at me.

"I am not saying anything… Just kiss me" I sigh before moving closer to the brunette, him doing the same, though it wasn't like we weren't close already. I cup Lights cheek in my one hand and bring his face closer to mine, leaning down slightly to meet his lips in a soft, gentle kiss. Light brought his hand up and place it into my hair. I press harder against Light's lips and nimble gently on his bottom lip, asking for the entrance that I knew he would give me, just like he had the last time. Except the last time was because of Matt and had no meaning. This one though… it held some meaning.

Light parted his lips and allowed me to slip my tongue in, gently coaxing his own to massage against my own. The brunette let out a moan, the sound sending shivers down my spine and my mind into a haze.

I parted from him after what felt like forever, but I surprised myself by pinning the brunette under me and engaging us in another heated kiss, this time Lights hand roaming around my body, which for once was clad in my usual jean and baggy white shirt but rather sweatpants and a normal tee.

The brunette's hands eventually rested at my shoulders as he squeezed them gently. When I parted from his lips I trailed my lips across his jaw, placing butterfly kisses along it. I travel down to his neck and suck at his pulse, earning a needy moan from him, sending my mind into a hazier state. What was I doing again? Ravaging Light's neck…. What am I thinking! This was Light for god's sake!

Before I got lower then the brunettes exposed collar bone, I abruptly pulled my self away from the younger teen and went back to my side of the bed, putting a decent amount of distance between us. Light and I were both trying to catch our breath, trying to figure out what had just happened.

What have I done?

…

A/N:

Hi there! I am sorry that it is late… school started up again and I haven't had time… externals start in three weeks… so I only have three weeks to write… if none of my stories are finished by then, do not worry, I will continue them when the exams and externals are over…

I hope this chapter was good enough and I hope you will all review!

I will seriously try to update more… but if I do not, please forgive me. school is more important to me because I would like to pass this year!

Bye for now!

Oh and thank you to my reviewers! Sorry that I am not putting you in here! i still love you guys!