Sam…part two

Chapter 10

Macho man kept advancing towards Sam, the knife held firmly in his hand.

Sam did not move from his spot.

"Stop right there!" asserted Sam as he held out his hand in a 'stop' gesture.

Surprisingly, Macho man paused.

Sam stood tall, with his hands pointing to his body as he continued, " Now, don't let this experienced, world-weary body of mine fool you. Yeah, it looks all slow and sluggish, but I'm here to warn you: I know martial arts...and not just any martial arts, but super- duper martial arts!"

'Super duper' martial arts? Who the hell is this clown? Macho man made a slashing motion with his knife, and grunted, as he trudged forward.

"You've just breathed your last breath, Smart-Ass!" Macho man warned.

Macho man was now closing in.

Then Sam reached behind his back to produce a Beretta 92 semi-automatic pistol.

Macho man froze.

"...Yeah, that's right, big guy," Sam stated flippantly, "Now, I could actually show off my chop-chop skills to you, but why, when a gun will do the trick better?"

Sam purposely aimed the gun right between the Macho man's legs, at the guy's privates. Macho man's eyes widened as he glanced down before looking back at Sam.

"Did you know..." Sam began slowly, "That taking steroids to make your arm muscles swell that big actually makes other parts of your body shrink?

At the sound of the cocking of the gun, Macho man dropped his knife.

"No! Don't! No, no! Look, man...the knife's already gone…" he pleaded, holding up his opened hands, "Please, you don't want to use that!"

"Sure, I do!" Sam replied, as Macho man shut his eyes and cowered.

Without skipping a beat, Sam aimed his gun low at the knife laying on the ground and fired. The knife was hit dead center and jumped up on impact. The shot echoed through the small room as Macho man opened his eyes, patted down his own body, and then heaved a sigh of relief.

"Let this be a lesson to you," advised Sam, "Don't wave a toy like that unless you have bullets to back it up."

Macho man reached down for the broken lamp and threw it at Sam before he turned and high-tailed out the door.

Just like I figured he would do, Sam thought with a secret smile to himself. He holstered his gun back in his waistband.

Alone again, Sam put his hand on his waist and looked around at the scattered mess in Maddie's living room.

I hate having to go through an obstacle course to get beer, Sam internalized.

The funny thing was, that wasn't the first time he had that thought.

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An hour later, Sam had arrived back at Michael's loft. He noted that Fi was casually leaning on the counter snacking on a yogurt, as she read her magazine.

"Hey," said Sam to Fi, as he lugged in two big bulky garbage bags, "Where's Maddie? Tell her I have her things."

Fi looked up from her magazine at Sam.

"Sam, what do you mean?" she questioned, "I thought Madeline was with you."

He paused to see if Fi was playing with him. Her expression told him she wasn't.

"Are you kidding, Fi? I told you I was leaving her with you so I could go to her place to pick up some things for her!"

"Sam, I couldn't hear anything with the hair dryer on—couldn't you figure that out?" Fi looked slightly alarmed as her eyes darted back and forth.

"When Michael finds out you've lost Maddie, he is not going to be happy with you!" Sam predicted, looking about.

"He may not be happy with me, but he will kill you!" countered Fi, as she hurried to check the bathroom.

"Oh, ha-ha!" yelled Sam to Fi, who was in the other room, "That was so funny, Fi! Let me get a paper and pen so I can write that down!"

Fiona came back, stricken with panic now.

"She's not here! But…let's stay calm…" continued Fi, "and really, Sam, don't blame yourself…"

"Believe me, sister, I did my part…you, on the other hand…" Sam began before they heard the door of the loft being flung opened. They turned and looked relieved as Madeline stomped in.

"My God, Madeline!" said a relieved Fi, "Where have you been? We've been worried sick!"

"Yeah…for all of a minute!" Sam added.

"Didn't you hear me say I was going to my water-robics class?" she asked Fi, "You know I never miss a class!"

Madeline walked over to the counter and disgustedly threw her keys on the counter. Obviously something had happened, for she looked perturbed.

Sam and Fi exchanged glances.

"Uh, Maddie, is everything all right? You look…not yourself." Sam asked as he noticed her bottom lip sticking out.

Madeline heaved a sigh of frustration.

"Ooooh…Thanks to this stupid purse snatcher case, I've missed two important water-robics tests, so they've dropped me from my level of 'water shark' at the gym." Madeline looked absolutely miserable.

Sam and Fi both gave a sigh of relief before Fi's expression turned to one of contrived concern, for Madeline's sake.

"Aww, Madeline," comforted Fi as she walked Madeline over so they could both sit on the bed, "We're so sorry to hear that! I know how water- robics is so important to you!"

Madeline stuck out her bottom lip even further, if that was possible.

"'Fi, Sam, it was awful, just awful! " explained Madeline, "I went from 'Water Shark' to…to… 'Water Plankton' level…'Water Plankton'!..Can you believe it? I'll never live it down …and how will I ever tell Michael? Thank goodness he's off somewhere beating up whoever he needs to beat up!"

"You'll work your way back up again," Fi assured Madeline, patting her hand.

"That's right, Maddie," agreed Sam, "In the whole scheme of life, going down a level or two in a water class isn't so bad. It's not as if…um...someone recently pulled a knife on you and tried to fillet you."

"Sam!" A death stare from Fi.

"I'm just saying..." defended Sam, shrugging.

"Geez, Sam," Madeline looked puzzled, "…that's a rather harsh analogy, isn't it?"

"But that is one way to look at it... right, Maddie?" reasoned Sam gently.

Madeline gave it some thought.

"Well...I suppose..." Madeline sighed. "I guess I'd rather be in a lower level in water-robics than skinned alive. You're right about that, Sam."

Sam silently gave Fi a look of satisfaction.

"Just don't tell Michael about this," Madeline insisted, "He was so proud when I made 'Water Shark'…but geez, louise, 'Water Plankton…'"

Her expression now turned to one of disgrace as she shook her head again, whispering, "plankton!" under her breath.

Sam and Fi exchanged looks, each recalling how they almost lost Madeline today.

"Don't worry, Madeline, we won't tell him, any of this" promised Fi.

"Yeah, it'll be our little secret, Maddie," assured Sam.
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On the show, Madeline had mentioned that she loved her water-robics class (She even forced Sam to go with her one time!), so I wanted to incorporate it somewhere in my story, as a way to further connect this story to the show..

Also, I know that Sam didn't really do any 'super-duper martial arts' action stuff in this chapter-but that doesn't mean he won't in the future! (hint, hint)

Please review.