I'm worried about the pacing of this chapter. Let me know what you guys think.
Chapter 10 :: Doubt
"Okay, that's everyone," Cartman huffed, pushing Stan into the backseat of his car. As it turned out Cartman would have to drive since Kenny, Stan and Kyle were drunk and Butters didn't know how to drive. "Jesus, it felt like I was rounding up dumb cattle finding you shitheads."
"Hey, can I sit in the front?" Butters asked as Kyle was about to step into the car. "I kinda don't want the drunk smell on me. My parents'll gimme hell if they think I was drinking."
"Oh uh, I guess," Kyle slurred slightly. He slipped into the backseat with his other two friends.
They'd stayed at the party for a while, it was about midnight now as they headed home. It was a good thing Kyle said he was staying over at Stan's house. The last thing he wanted was to come home at night smelling like alcohol, having his parents try to pry guilt out of him.
Cartman quickly started up the car once everyone was in. He would have to drop off Butters first, then Kenny, then go to Stan's and walk home. What a pain in the ass.
But the drive home was soothing despite that. Probably because of what had happened with him and Kyle. Cartman felt like after that, he'd become much closer with Kyle. A closeness that he could never achieve before, but now it was happening. The idea of that filled Cartman with a satisfying warmth.
He kept his eyes on the road, but in the corner of his eye he could see Butters slumped over, his cheek pressing against the window of the passenger's seat.
"What's wrong with you?" Cartman asked flatly, trying to not sound too interested.
"Oh nothing, Eric. Just that Christine wasn't too interested in dating me." Butters sighed softly, not bothering to look at Cartman.
Cartman looked over Butters appearance; he was taller now, but he had the same messy hair and plain clothing, the same Butters he always knew. From what Cartman remembered Christine was a typical hotty. He wouldn't be surprised if the girl thought she could do much better than Butters.
" 'She say why?" Cartman decided to bite anyway.
"She said I wasn't her type." Butters murmured. "She said not to take it personally."
Cartman huffed out a laugh. "If you're not her type then doesn't that mean she doesn't like something about you? Sounds like something to be taken personally. Hate when chicks say that shit."
"What is it, Eric? What don't I have that other guys have? Stan and Kenny have girlfriends, but I can't seem to find one."
Apparently Stan was listening, because he now slumped forward to talk to Butters. "Butters, man, you just gotta be loose okay? Girls like it when you're loof."
"Loof?"
"Aloof," Kyle corrected for Stan. "He's saying you have to act chilled out."
"Oh... I have to just act like I don't care about nothing?" Butters murmured.
Cartman's burst of laughter made Butters jump. Cartman quickly tried to calm himself; he didn't want to go into a laughing fit while he was driving. "Can you imagine an 'aloof' Butters? God, even thinking about it feels impossible! Hahaha!"
Stan laughed lightly, then pawed at Butters shoulder drunkenly. He was trying to give a gesture of comfort, but he wasn't sure if it was working well enough or not. "Cheer up Butters, you'll find someone out there."
"Yeah, if an asshole like Cartman can get laid then anyone can," Kenny snickered.
Cartman tensed up very noticeably when Kenny's words registered. He hoped the information would just sail over Butters' head. From the way Butters' mouth hung open, Cartman guessed not.
"You had sex, Eric?!" Butters exclaimed, wide-eyed. Cartman shrunk back into his seat, forcing himself not to look back at Kyle, though he was curious what kind of expression he held. Fucking Kenny. It seemed like he couldn't keep his mouth shut about anything lately. But thankfully Kenny left out specifics, and now Butters was probably sitting here thinking Cartman banged a girl. Cartman forced himself to regain composure, huffing out a laugh.
"Duh, I get laid all the time, stupid." Cartman smirked. It was a lie he usually told people, but as of a couple weeks ago it wasn't really a lie anymore. Butters seemed to believe it more now, now that Kenny was saying it too.
"How'd you do it?!" Butters eagerly asked, his eyes completely engaged on Cartman now.
"How? I took my dick and I stuck it in between a pair of legs, that's how." Cartman laughed. His grin grew wider because he could hear Kyle scoff from the backseat.
"Yeah but, how'd you convince them to let you do it?"
"...Huh," Cartman's voice sounded genuinely curious himself. Kyle was the only person he'd ever touched, and it didn't feel like either of them had seen it coming.
Cartman's original intention, back then in his room with Kyle, was to piss Kyle off. He only got lucky that Kyle seemed to want it. That probably wouldn't work as well with anyone else. Cartman found himself laughing lightly.
"It just happened, I guess." He decided on.
"Aw come on, Eric..."
"Seriously, I just got lucky." Cartman insisted. "And anyway Butters, not everyone's gonna be seduced the same way. Your best bet is getting to know them and figuring it out from there."
These words were more to detract from the specific scenario of how he 'seduced' Kyle, but upon saying it he found the advice pretty sound. Butters seemed to appreciate it too, saying he felt silly for not considering that himself. It was common sense, wasn't it?
On the drive home Cartman tuned everything else out. Now that he thought about it, it was kind of strange that Kyle so readily accepted Cartman's advances. Kyle had always come off as high maintenance to Cartman. A few weeks ago Cartman wouldn't have even considered approaching Kyle in that matter. Or in any matter. But in theory, when he thought about how he might go about letting Kyle know how he felt, Cartman thought it would be the most embarrassing and difficult thing to do.
In theory there wasn't a single approach that Cartman could make that Kyle would possibly accept. Yet a couple of weeks ago, it happened. Kyle let it happen so easily, all of it. And that was so mind boggling. What he did was pretty much harassment.
Cartman expected to be punched. He should have been punched. But it turned out that Kyle liked it, and he kept liking it, and he still hasn't regretted it.
All this time, Cartman had been so thrilled that he didn't bother to think about why. Now the question was there again. Now Cartman wondered, half-considering the idea that Kyle might have thought about it before. Thought about doing things with Cartman even before all this. Maybe for all those years they fought, Kyle had started developing a desire for him, the same way Cartman had for Kyle.
The idea of it was so jarring to Cartman. For Kyle to develop those kind of feelings for him was difficult to wrap his head around. Cartman sighed, reserving himself to the idea that he just got lucky.
If someone like Cartman got Kyle so easily... maybe Kyle could've fallen for anyone.
"You should just stay over at my house." Cartman said as he stepped out of the car, Stan and Kyle following. Kenny and Butters had been dropped off at their houses, so it just left the three of them. The night was only dimly lit by the porch light on Stan's doorstep, but it was still possible to make out facial expressions.
"I can't," Kyle sighed, turning to face Cartman. "My mom has a habit of checking up on me in the morning. I told her I'd be with Stan so She's gonna call Stan's house and see if I'm there."
"Ugh, that's lame."
"It's fine. I'll come over tomorrow anyway." Kyle assured Cartman, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
To Kyle's surprise Cartman took advantage of this contact, pulling him forward until they were kissing. Kyle could feel himself hesitate knowing Stan was right behind them. He allowed the kiss, splaying his hands on Cartman's shoulders.
Their lips parted, and Cartman nuzzled the crook of Kyle's neck, stroking his back. Kyle's face warmed in reaction. It was a bit strange that Cartman had suddenly decided to be this openly affectionate, but no one was around except Stan anyway.
"Night," Cartman said, pulling away.
"Yeah," Kyle murmured. Cartman's face wasn't clear because of the dim lighting, but Kyle smiled regardless.
Cartman took his leave without another word. Kyle turned to Stan, who held a blank expression on his face. Kyle shrugged and gestured for him to open the door, and they stepped inside.
"I'll get us some water," Kyle yawned, stretching his arms out. His buzz had pretty much worn all the way off at this point, but he doubted Stan was half as sober.
"Okay." Stan muttered, shutting the front door. Kyle noticed Stan looked a bit listless, his eyebrows furrowed like he was concentrating on something.
After a little back and forth up in Stan's room Kyle decided Stan's grumpiness was annoying him.
"What's with you, Stan?" He asked. "Are you usually this irritable when you get drunk?"
Stan scoffed, shaking his head. "Cartman just pissed me off a little."
Kyle frowned now. He hoped Stan wasn't talking about the kissing. Admittedly it was a bit odd for Cartman to do that infront of anyone but the thought of Stan becoming upset about it was irksome. "How did Cartman piss you off?"
"That big show he made of kissing and hugging you," Stan started. Kyle felt a twinge of agitation as soon as Stan confirmed such a thing.
"He's my boyfriend, Stan." Kyle cutted in.
"Let me finish. Jesus Christ." Stan grunted, taking a drink of his glass of water. "The problem wasn't that he hugged you, or that he kissed you. The problem is when he hugged you he looked right at me while doing it."
The movement of Kyle's glass to his mouth staggered as he looked up at Stan. Stan waited for Kyle to say something, but he just sat there, waiting for Stan to say more.
"The way he held you, it was like he was claiming you. And he looked directly at me like he was telling me specifically that you were his or something." Stan explained.
Kyle sighed. The idea of Cartman being possessive wasn't too surprising to Kyle, really. He'd already done it towards Heidi. And well, maybe he shouldn't have been surprised that Cartman felt threatened by Stan. Stan and Kyle had always been really close, and open about how great a friendship they had. But it's not like Stan was an actual threat to their relationship. He was straight, and even if he was bi, Kyle would never want to stand between him and Wendy. They had a great and admirable relationship.
Maybe one day he might have one like that Stan and Wendy's.
"Kyle, are you not bothered by this?" Stan barked when Kyle started smiling to himself.
"Huh?" Kyle blurted, blinking himself back to the present.
"Dude, Cartman's getting jealous. Of me being your friend. Doesn't that make you worried at all?" Stan growled, becoming frustrated with reiterating his concern.
Kyle shrugged. "Not really. I get jealous too."
"Of your boyfriend having friends?" Stan emphasized. Kyle rolled his eyes, leaning back against the headboard of Stan's bed.
"Remember that time I decided to sit in Cartman's lap after I had that argument with him?"
Stan looked confusedly at Kyle. "Yeah. Why?"
"I did that right after he came back smiling with Kenny. And I make a big display of hugging and sitting in his lap to, you know, 'claim him.' " Kyle gestured quotations. "We both get jealous, Stan."
Stan quirked an eyebrow at Kyle. It was obvious he'd been weirded out by Kyle's implied need to claim Cartman.
It was kind of tiresome; everytime he talked with Stan lately, the topic of Kyle's new relationship came up one way or another. And each time Stan slipped in a comment about how it bothered him or how it surprised him.
"There's a big difference between you being jealous and Cartman being jealous." Stan asserted. He placed his glass down on the nightstand and lied on his back, looking irritated.
"Yeah? What's that?" Kyle bit, but he could probably guess.
"Uh, his criminal record?"
"Dude, Cartman's not gonna go after you. Even if he tried you'd beat the crap out of him." Kyle laughed, noting Stan's slight muscle definition that had shown up over the years. The last guy Stan had fought got knocked out so fast it was disappointing to everyone watching, and Kyle was sure Cartman knew better than to fuck with Stan.
"So what, he probably still has that handgun he used to carry around when we were little."
Kyle sighed. "Do you seriously think he's gonna do something?"
"Eventually, yeah." Stan answered, "Do you seriously think Cartman being violent is out of the question?"
"Stan if you're really that worried about it, I'll talk to him tomorrow." Kyle groaned. "Let's go to bed."
Kyle quickly slipped under the covers. Stan was still giving him an apprehensive stare, but eventually he turned off the light and crawled into the bed as well. Sleeping in the same bed was a habit they had since they were kids, and they didn't really feel the need to break the habit whenever one of them would sleep over. No one exactly wanted to sleep on the floor.
Kyle sighed, closing his eyes and sinking his head into the pillow. He let his thoughts linger. Stan wanted to invoke more of a reaction from Kyle with the whole possessiveness thing. They had multiple conversations like this one. Stan told Kyle that Cartman was probably the type to be obsessive, and that it would backfire on their relationship pretty soon. Another theory that Stan had was that this was all an elaborate plan to make Kyle look like an idiot. Stan had come up with plenty of ideas to try to get Kyle to reconsider his relationship with Cartman.
The thought was enraging, but Kyle had dealt with enough to examine it calmly at this point. Giving it rational thought he couldn't blame Stan for being worried about him. Stan had always been protective of Kyle, even since they were kids. It was kind of annoying lately, but he appreciated it nonetheless.
He definitely couldn't blame Stan for thinking that way of Cartman. Whether it was trying to fool Kyle, or something like that. Cartman had a reputation for going to great lengths just to trick Kyle and get a 2 second moment of satisfaction out of it. But there was no way that could be what Cartman was doing this time.
There was no way Cartman was having a full-fledged relationship with Kyle just to make him look like an idiot. All the sex, the kissing, the smiles. It was all so real.
So convincing.
...
Kyle's eyes blinked open, and he found himself staring into the blackness above him.
There was no way, right? Cartman wasn't just fucking with him. His feelings were real. ...They had to be real.
"There you are, Eric!" Liane chimed when she saw her son walk through the door. "Did you drink responsibly?"
"Yeah," Cartman sighed. He didn't drink at all, but he didn't feel like bothering for the praise. Waste of time and breath.
"Come into the dining room sweety, I made you a cookie cake." Liane said, urging Cartman into the dining room with her hands at his shoudlers.
Cartman didn't bother asking why his Mom made this for him. It was just something she did sometimes. It didn't happen as often as it did when Cartman was younger, so it did take him a bit by surprise, and set him a little on edge.
For good reason, it seemed, because as soon as he started eating, Liane sat across the table from him with an intent look in her eye.
"Eric, do you remember when I said I wanted to talk to you about something?"
"Mmph."
"I saw you've been using a lot of your condoms. And well, I've been meaning to ask, how many partners do you have?"
Cartman choked on the food he was eating in surprise. He spluttered, coughing violently for a few seconds before swallowing correctly and clearing his throat. "What?! What do you mean how many partners?"
Liane sat silent, waiting for an answer. Cartman frowned at her. She wanted to specify if he had multiple sex partners? It was strange but Cartman couldn't help but feel insulted by the proposition.
"One, Mom." He answered sharply.
"Oh, and it's been the same girl all the way through?" Liane continued.
"Duh. Why do you want to know anyway?"
"Well..." Liane paused. "If it's the same girl, it sounds like it might turn into a relationship."
"It is a relationship, Mom."
Liane took a hand to her chest, looking concerned. "Oh my..."
"What?" Cartman had become incredibly confused by the disheartened expression on his mother's face.
"Well, I don't know if a relationship is the best thing for you, Eric." Liane said, softly.
The fork in Cartman's hand laid loosely against his fingers, threatening to slip free as he stared at his Mother. "What are you talking about?" Cartman's tone was low and flat.
"I just think it might be better if you don't get attached to the whole idea of a partner, sweety." Liane explained, "I know it's not a popular opinion, but it's much harder to get hurt if you're not attached to your sexual partners."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Cartman snapped, " You're ok with me having sex, but not loving the person I fuck? What, you want me to continue the family business Mom?" He'd pushed the plate of food away, suddenly not feeling like eating.
"It's not like that, honey. I just don't think you're ready for something like love yet." Liane replied. "I don't want you to get your heart broken."
Cartman gawked for a moment, then narrowed his eyes. "Okay, who's putting you up to this?"
"What?"
"It's Stan isn't it?!" Cartman pryed. "He paid you or something and asked you to act all concerned about me, to get me all paranoid that I'm gonna get hurt in this relationship! That asshole!"
"Eric, I really am just concerned for your-"
"Bullshit!" Cartman snarled, slamming his fists against the table. "You never do this! We never have talks about my fucking well being! You're a horrible actor and a shitty Mom for taking payment to go against your son!"
While Liane was rendered speechless Cartman took the opportunity to kick out of his seat and storm out of the kitchen.
"Eric, wait!"
"No! This is bullshit! I'm actually happy for once and everyone acts like it's the worst thing in the world!" Cartman shouted as he stomped up the stairs. "Well guess what?! I'm staying with him and if you don't like it you can kiss my ass!"
Cartman slammed his door, locking himself inside his room. He'd at this point acknowledged that he said he was staying with 'him' instead of 'her,' but right now he didn't really care. His Mom was being a bitch and he didn't want to talk to her anymore.
He stuck earbuds into his ears and blasted music, readily ignoring his Mom's incessant knocking.
She didn't knock long anyway. It'd take too much effort for her to be persistent.
Cartman resisted the urge to grit his teeth. That stuff she was saying was just something someone else asked her to say, and Cartman had to figure out who it was. His first guess was Stan, but Kenny and Wendy were also possible suspects. Those three knew; it could easily be any of them.
Saturday, 11:00 AM
Despite it being so early in the day, Kyle gave into urge to go over to Cartman's house. From what Cartman told him about Liane's schedule, she should still be out working for another 30 minutes at this time of the morning. Kyle had to hurry before she got home. He had to see him, even if it was only for a little bit.
After lying awake for an hour or two at Stan's house he might've done a bit too much overthinking. If it was even remotely possible that Cartman was just doing this for an elaborate joke then Kyle had to get to the bottom of it.
The two factors that strengthened his doubt: One, Cartman hadn't really expressed himself or pressed to deepen their relationship, and two, Cartman was really reluctant to bottom.
It was still a difficult process to get Cartman to let Kyle fuck him, and the only reason Kyle seemed to link with it was that Cartman enjoyed having power over Kyle. Being a sadist that probably meant that Cartman's feelings didn't enter into his arousal at all. He could just be doing it for the dominance. He felt angry and embarrassed just thinking about it that way.
The thought that Cartman might be trying to pull some elaborate trick on him was very disturbing to him. But there was a lot that told him what Cartman felt for him was real. His expressions, the softness of his voice, his jealousy. ...But he might have done all that just to be convincing.
Kyle could feel his thoughts clash again and again as he walked. Arguing with himself on whether or not it was possible that he'd just been pranked for the past few weeks. His chest clenched when he thought about what that meant, and his eyes felt heavy with the threat of tears. Kyle came up to the doorstep now, taking a deep breath.
He had to see him again. He had to touch him, feel him, see his face. He had to remind himself that it was real.
After a knock on the door Kyle was met with Liane facing him, which caught him off guard since he expected her to be gone. Maybe she came home early. Kyle felt himself falter. He'd have to be careful with her around. He didn't want to risk getting caught.
"Oh Kyle," Liane said softly. Her voice sounded weak with fatigue. "Thank goodness you came over."
"Huh?" Kyle took the moment to notice that Liane looked very tired. Her hair was a bit untidy and her lower eyelids were shaded red. Like she'd stayed up all night.
"I can't get Eric to come out of his room. I told him his pancakes are gonna get cold, but he said he doesn't care. He's been in there since last night." Liane explained worriedly.
Kyle frowned. Something must have been wrong if Cartman refused to eat. He hesitated, stepping up the stairs, sincerely hoping, begging to God that Cartman wouldn't be reclusive toward him. As selfish as it sounded Kyle really needed Cartman to be open right now. But he shook it off, ready to try to be there for Cartman with whatever issue he was having.
"Hey Cartman?" Kyle said against Cartman's door. "It's Kyle,"
Before Kyle knew it the door was open and he was being pulled into the room. He released a gasp of surprise, but was easily quieted with the feeling of Cartman arms around him.
Warmth rushed to Kyle's chest; relief and happiness. He still didn't know what was going on but at least Cartman wasn't acting distant.
"Hey," Kyle said softly, returning the hug. Cartman squeezed lightly against Kyle, then pulling back to meet his gaze.
"My mom didn't tell you to come over did she?" Cartman asked, looking somewhat nervous. If anyone was instructing Liane to discourage Cartman they might've mentioned that he was with Kyle.
Kyle shook his head. "What's going on anyway? She said you turned down pancakes."
Kyle couldn't help smirking teasingly, and Cartman swatted at his arm for it. He then sighed. "She just pissed me off. Her usual bullshit."
Kyle caught this as an obvious lie. Cartman had seemed oddly relieved to see Kyle. That worried him, thinking more about it. Cartman pulled Kyle close again, but this time only gripped Kyle's hands in his.
"I need to shower and stuff," Cartman said, acknowledging that he'd been locked up in his room for way too long. He looked toward the door, turning back to Kyle. "Are you staying?"
Kyle blinked, then nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, I will." He figured that's what Cartman wanted, or needed. But now he was achingly curious as to what was going on. Cartman then headed out of his room and into the bathroom.
After a few minutes of lounging around in Cartman's room, Kyle's curiosity got the best of him. He figured Cartman didn't want him to talk to Liane, but fuck it, Kyle was gonna find out what was bothering Cartman, and it wasn't like Liane to be malicious anyway. Cartman was probably overreacting.
As soon as Liane caught sight of Kyle she stood up from the couch. "Oh, did he come out?"
Kyle nodded. "Yeah. What was the problem anyway?"
"Well..." Liane murmured. Kyle came to sit with Liane on the couch before she continued. It seemed to make her feel a little more relaxed too. "You see, my son's been in a relationship for a few weeks, and I'm worried he might be in love."
Kyle's heart skipped a beat, and he ducked his face a little when he felt it heat up. The "L" word admittedly made him anxious. "Uh. Is that a bad thing?" Kyle asked.
"It's a very bad thing." Liane sighed, her voice softening. Her eyes flickered toward the staircase, then back to Kyle. "Eric's a little sensitive. I don't think he'd cope well with um.. having his heart broken."
"Huh, how did he get upset? Did something happen between them or something?" Kyle asked, feeling concerned. The feeling of being in love wouldn't make Cartman upset, at least not enough for his mother to notice. He was hoping Cartman hadn't gotten paranoid about Stan to the point of freaking out last night or anything like that.
"Oh, well, you see, last night I tried to talk to him about it." Liane explained. "I told him that being attached to his sexual partners was dangerous. That sort of made him angry, and he locked himself in his room and said he was staying with - her - and he didn't care what I thought."
"Geez," Kyle murmured, a faint flutter in his stomach. He knew that Cartman had the tendency to be dramatic but he could've taken it a little better. Or maybe he just felt that strongly about it? .. Knowing Cartman it was probably the former. But it was good to know that he didn't agree with his Mom. Not being attached to a sexual partner... it sounded practical, but it was fucked up. He was glad Cartman thought so enough to get pissed. But he still felt sorry for Liane. "Well I don't think you'll have to worry about your son. He's not that sensitive. Even if she did something to break his heart I'm sure he can handle it well enough."
Liane flashed Kyle a nervous smile, clasping her hands together in a sort of fidgety manner. "He may seem that way, but.. well..." She let herself trail off a little bit here. "He just keeps it all inside around his friends. He's hurt very easily. And I just know that if he sets himself up to be dumped this way, it's going to completely ruin him."
What a mess. Liane had been kept up because she'd been worried so much about her son not heeding her warning, and probably upset that he was pissed at her. And Cartman got pissed off because he took it badly... Well. Personally Kyle would have too, but still. He was starting to see the resemblance between the two, they were both sort of needy and probably a bit paranoid. It was kind of sad to think that Cartman resented this woman that cared so deeply about him.
"Well, maybe he won't be dumped," Kyle remarked hesitantly. "Maybe he's in love with someone who really cares about him."
Liane's blank gaze made Kyle a bit uncomfortable. Kyle couldn't help but wonder if Liane understood that he was talking about himself. Then she shook her head.
"I don't think he'll meet anybody like that in highschool, Kyle. Not Eric."
And Kyle admitted Liane had a good point. Most teenagers he knew wouldn't be serious about Eric even if they did date him. Most teenagers weren't serious about dating general. But Kyle considered himself to not be like most teenagers.
Kyle considered reassuring Liane but he really didn't want to risk giving more hints that he was the one dating Cartman.
"You look tired, Ms. Cartman." He said softly.
Liane gave a silent nod. "I need to make sure Eric isn't making the wrong choices."
"Well, he's out of his room now, taking a shower. You get some rest. I'll talk to him, okay?" Kyle cooed, giving Liane a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Oh thank you. You always were a sweet boy, Kyle." Liane smiled, standing up and heading towards her room. "Oh, and make sure Eric eats breakfast, okay?"
"Sure," Kyle replied, not entirely sure why that was a cause for concern. Of course Eric was gonna eat.
He listened for Liane to shut her door and waited, figuring she'd be pretty knocked out soon. After that, he went back to sit in his spot in Cartman's room.
A few minutes later Cartman came in, a towel draped around his waist.
"You talked to my mom, didn't you?" Cartman said as soon as he noticed Kyle was in the room. He briskly walked over to the drawer and faced his back to Kyle as he pulled out clean clothes to wear.
"Yeah. She's asleep now, though. And she said she wants you to eat breakfast." Kyle added.
Cartman frowned as he slipped on boxers and pants. "What the fuck, why?"
"Well, you're not supposed to skip breakfast." Kyle joked lamely. His eyes blankly trailed up Cartman's torso. There was something so appealing about his naked shoulders. And overall his skin looked surprisingly smooth. Kyle was a bit shocked at how badly he wanted to touch it, but he shook off the thought. He felt a bit disappointed when Cartman slipped a shirt on.
"What else did she say?"
Kyle shrugged. "She just told me what happened last night. She didn't want you to have a relationship and you got pissed off."
"Yeah. She's ok if I just fuck around but if I want to care about someone then suddenly it's not okay. Well fuck that. I'm not gonna be a slut like her." Cartman spat, shoving his dresser drawer shut.
"I don't think that's what she meant, dude. She just thinks you're a little young to be going through... complex emotions like love." Kyle's voice softened at the end.
"Like she knows anything about love." Cartman snorted bitterly.
Kyle frowned. "She loves you, Cartman."
"It's her job to love me."
"Cartman,"
"Whatever Kahl. I'm over it. Why're you here so early anyway? Weren't you sleeping over at Stan's?"
The way Cartman changed the subject so suddenly made anger seep into Kyle, but he decided to ignore it. It's not like he agreed with Liane anyway. Besides that, he was more sucked in by Cartman's question. The reason Kyle had come over was to ease his nerves.
Stan had successfully riled Kyle up with the idea of Cartman pulling some kind of ultimate prank on him. He figured seeing Cartman again would allow him to confirm that he had nothing to worry about. And so far it was working. Kyle just hoped that it wasn't just working because he wanted it to.
As a means of answering Cartman's question, Kyle walked up to Cartman, hooking his arms over Cartman's shoulders and pulling him into a kiss. He felt Cartman make a small silent gasp beneath his lips, but then he was kissing too, running his fingers against the back of Kyle's neck.
"Damn," Cartman said when their lips parted, "Are you that horny that you just ditched Stan to come see me?"
Kyle's eyebrows furrowed lightly and he gave an effortless roll of his eyes. "More like I missed you, asswipe."
"We literally just saw each other a few hours ago."
"Yet you still hugged the shit outta me when I knocked on your door." Kyle retorted, quirking an eyebrow.
Cartman shrugged, sauntering over to his bed. Kyle couldn't help his smile; he caught a glimpse of a light shade of pink across Cartman's cheeks. He followed Cartman onto the bed, taking the spot next to him and leaning against Cartman's shoulder.
"I wanted to talk to you about Stan, too." Kyle decided to mention. It would probably be better to talk about it while Cartman was in a decent mood. He felt Cartman bristle lightly, which he found a bit strange.
"What about?" Cartman asked hesitantly. Cartman was still thinking about the possibility that Stan might have talked to his Mom.
"Uh, he's like... worried you might be jealous of how close he is to me. He like thinks you're gonna try to injure him or something. And... you're not, right?" Kyle asked. He tried to not sound nervous. He tried to put a more authoritative edge on his tone for good measure, but he wasn't entirely sure if it went through.
Cartman looked confused. "Why the hell would I do that?"
"Uh." Kyle said simply, though his expression read as 'Seriously?'
Cartman scoffed as if he was offended. "Even if I wanted to. It's not worth the amount of effort I'd have to put into not getting caught. I don't get anything from hurting Stan either. Except a pissed off boyfriend. It'd be a stupid idea."
"Glad you're finally thinking about things before you do them." Kyle deadpanned.
"Yeah well it turns out that when you get older you can't get away with as much as you could when you were a cute little kid." Cartman shrugged.
"So your main concern is not getting caught, but you're still the same sadistic bastard." Kyle sighed. "Is that what you're saying?"
Cartman smiled innocently at Kyle now, and Kyle could feel irritation build in the pit of his stomach; a knee-jerk reaction at this point. Cartman nuzzled his head against Kyle's arm, looking over at him endearingly."I'm not bored enough to do much scheming anymore. I'm putting all my energy into making sweet love to you these days." Kyle both loved and hated how Cartman could practically say a word and suddenly Kyle was ready to kiss him all over. He fought the feeling, hoping Cartman didn't know how skilled he was at pushing Kyle's buttons.
"Sweet love, huh." Kyle echoed skeptically, though a smile was on his face. "Pretty sure asking me how hard I like being fucked isn't part of making sweet love."
Cartman moved to brush his lips against Kyle's neck. "That's the best part of making sweet love. Don't act like you don't love it. It turns you on so much when I talk to you like that." Cartman taunted, his breath tickling Kyle's skin.
Kyle fought a surge of pleasure, doing everything in his power to withhold a moan. It came out as a gasp, choppy and arid, and Kyle had suddenly remembered how fucking good it sounded when Cartman used this voice. The silky smooth tone where every word translated to 'I want you,' but better articulated. Cartman grazed his teeth against Kyle's neck.
"Yeah?" Cartman breathed, and Kyle knew Cartman heard his aroused gasp. Cartman's voice was low and rough; just from that Kyle felt heat rushing to his groin, his jeans tightening.
The concern of Cartman fooling him still prodded at Kyle's thoughts, albeit hardly, and he decided that he could keep that idea at bay. His mind was too flooded with lust for him to be paranoid at this point.
Their lips and torsos met instantaneously, rubbing up against each other and panting between short feverish kisses. It was strange how a single day without touching each other worked them up so easily, as if it had been a week instead of a day. It certainly felt that way, with how long the night and morning had been.
Kyle hesitated as Cartman's body pressed against his; signalling that Cartman wanted to lie him down. Kyle grabbed at Cartman's wrist, and Cartman's movement halted, and he pulled back to look questioningly at Kyle.
"Your Mom's home," Kyle reminded breathily. Cartman shrugged.
"She's a deep sleeper. We'll be fine, so long as you don't moan too loudly." He teased lustfully, swiping his thumb against Kyle's lip. Kyle let out a light laugh, then smirking.
Cartman then yelped and in an instant Kyle had pounced on him and pinned him to the bed.
"Uh," Cartman blurted when he regained his breath, taking in the sight of Kyle hovering over him smugly. It was a new, mesmerizing sight. Kyle's hands found Cartman's and locked hands with him, his lips meeting Cartman's again as he held him down.
"It's been a while since I topped," Kyle murmured against Cartman's lips. He wasn't usually assertive when it came to topping, but this time it was a reminder to him that Cartman wasn't just all about dominating Kyle, he was actually attracted to him. So this time he was diving in, feeling a bit aggressive from the thought. He felt dominant despite himself.
Whenever Kyle reminded Cartman it was his turn, Kyle was usually answered with some sort of defiance. Only vocally, but still there. But this time Cartman remained silent, pushing his hips up against Kyle. It caught Kyle off guard, and he thought Cartman might push him off. Instead Kyle was met with a growing firmness pressing against his thigh.
He was harder than Kyle expected him to be from just this. Kyle smirked and fully straddled Cartman, meeting Cartman's hardness with his own. Leaning down he engaged their lips again, dragging his erection against the other while they exchanged slow, sensual kisses.
If he worked him over enough, maybe Cartman wouldn't be disconnected as he usually was during this and afterward. Kyle's fucking was usually rough and not that controlled, getting caught up in the feel of being inside Cartman. So this time he was going to try something new; he was now intent on focusing on Cartman's pleasure. Making sure Cartman was as turned on as possible -without needing to be dominant over Kyle.
Kyle rolled his hips against Cartman, arching into it a bit. In response Cartman pressed tighter to Kyle, giving a light moan against Kyle's mouth. Kyle felt excited and anxious; being in control like this after the way the past few days had been felt especially good. He continued grinding, maintaining a steady pace. He could feel from the way Cartman tensed against him that he wanted more.
That encouraged Kyle to tease him; to hopefully make Cartman want Kyle to fuck him.
Cartman's arms shifted to detangle his hands from Kyle's, but Kyle pressed his body against Cartman's, squeezing his hands firmly and keeping him pinned.
"Let me," Kyle said softly, almost in a whisper. He himself wasn't sure if he was asking permission or giving a command.
Either way it seemed to work, since Cartman made no further movement to break from Kyle's grip. In a passing moment their eyes met; Cartman's expression was unreadable. Kyle pressed his lips against Cartman's jaw, kissing down his neck as he slowly started to pick up his pace.
Cartman gave a shivery gasp, and Kyle's nuzzled his face against Cartman's neck, pressing his clothed cock against Cartman's. He made the friction tighter ever so slightly, releasing Cartman's hands and sliding his hands down Cartman's shoulders. He slid them down further, and when his hands slipped under Cartman's shirt, Cartman's whole body seemed to tense.
"Nnh, Don't," Cartman breathed shakily, pulling back a little by his elbows. Kyle glanced up seeing Cartman's face looked pink right now, and his eyes were cast downward. But Kyle just pulled closer, sliding his hands up Cartman's torso and pressing against his bare skin.
"I want to touch you," Kyle said, pressing Cartman back down to the bed.
"So just touch my dick." Cartman groaned lightly. He looked defensive and flustered, but his hands were at his sides, so he must've not hated it that much, Kyle decided.
"I want to touch you everywhere." Kyle emphasized as his lips met Cartman's collarbone. He grazed his teeth against the spot. Feeling bold he mumbled, "Eric," into Cartman's neck, the name sounding so appealing from his mouth.
Cartman seemed to think so too. Kyle felt a pronounced rise and fall of Cartman's chest, and he seemed to give in then, letting his head fall back against the sheets. Kyle smiled to himself, splaying both his hands over Cartman's chest under his shirt, taking in the feel of Cartman's skin.
Cartman had felt Kyle up like this many times before, letting his hands linger on his body just to feel it. Kyle felt like he really understood why, doing it now. Touching him like this not only felt good, but knowing how his partner's body felt was satisfying. He wondered if that's what Cartman was doing each time, taking in the distinct feel of his partner's body. It made his heart race as he touched Cartman's skin, the feel of his soft, smooth skin on his fingertips.
"Fuck, you feel good..." Kyle murmured as he freed his lips, then sloppily bringing then back over Cartman's. Cartman's lips twitched at the sound of Kyle's words, then kissing back, and Kyle heard a soft, light whimper from Cartman. It was a type of sound he'd never heard from him. Kyle felt something inside him rush as his body seemed to fall in love with the submissive sound. He responded by moaning into Cartman's mouth, then pushing their hardness together more eagerly. "God, Eric..."
Kyle's mouth was more on the edge of Cartman's mouth now as he pulled his hands down to undo Cartman's pants, uncovering Cartman's cock and palming it firmly. He took it in his hand, stroking it, loving every sound Cartman made in response. Cartman closed the distance between their mouths again, their kisses wet and messy as Kyle's hands worked, one pressing against Cartman's chest and the other jacking him sloppily. Cartman arched his back as he felt his pleasure threatening to come to a peak, precum dripping from his cock.
"F-fuck, nnn... Kyle... not yet..." Cartman stammered out, grasping for Kyle's arm. Kyle slowed his movement, looking questioningly at Cartman. Cartman's pupils were dilated with arousal. "Fuck me, right now..."
The words made Kyle overflow with happiness, and it seemed to go to his erection. He quickly got up, reaching over to the nightstand and finding the lube and a condom. As he got back on the bed he saw Cartman had sat up and had his pants almost all the way off.
Kyle couldn't help but take pride in the newly made eagerness in Cartman, but he decided against taunting him about it, for fear of ruining whatever magic he'd worked on him. He stretched the condom over his rock hard erection and lubed up his fingers.
Pulling close to Cartman again, Kyle slid his hands between his legs, squeezing lightly on his thighs as his fingers trailed towards Cartman's entrance. Kyle saw that Cartman's face was still red, and he brushed his lips against Cartman's as he began to finger him. Cartman hummed a moan against his lips as he kissed back feverishly. As their tongues slid against each other, Kyle thoroughly slicked Cartman's entrance with lube. He let his fingers linger inside, pressing further in teasingly.
"Good?" Kyle murmured softly, his voice partially muffled because his lips were still against Cartman's. This had probably been the most kissing they'd ever done.
"Yeah," Cartman said in a light groan, pulling away slightly. Kyle slipped his fingers out and nuzzled Cartman's neck, then pressing Cartman's back to the bed. He ran his hands over Cartman's body before curving his hands to Cartman's inner thighs, spreading them apart further as he pressed his cock inside inch by inch.
Kyle watched the other's reaction, seeing Cartman's eyes were still away from him. Though, it didn't seem as intentional as it had been the other times. His gaze was on the ceiling, hazed with lust. Kyle started to roll his hips while inside, maintaining an tantalizingly slow pace.
It was hell for Kyle to maintain this kind of pace. Just having his cock buried inside Cartman's ass still felt really fucking good, and fucking him felt even better. He wanted to just go all out, but he resisted.
With one hand Kyle grasped the base of Cartman's cock in his hand, dragging his thumb lightly against the balls. Cartman throbbed in his hand, and Kyle couldn't help picking up his pace and groaning.
"Nnh, Eric," Kyle hissed. Cartman clenched into the sheets, gasping a moan. Unconsciously Kyle squeezed Cartman's thigh in his hand, enjoying the thickness of it. He loosened his grasp on Eric's cock, falling to press on Eric's hip. "You should touch yourself," Kyle said breathily.
The words invoked a brief glance from Cartman, but he quickly obeyed, reaching down and wrapping his fingers around his pulsing erection. As he thrusted Kyle took in the sight of Cartman stroking his cock, the precum dribbling out of the tip and being slicked onto his fingers, over his shaft. He took in sight of Cartman biting down on lip, his chest heaving.
"Hnnhh, fuck yeah," Kyle growled, having become more aroused just from watching Cartman. He squeezed rhythmically on Cartman's hips, picking up his pace. "God, I'm close..."
He felt a pleasurable jolt to his body when Cartman pushed back against him, forcing Kyle's cock deeper into him. Kyle let out a choked off moan as he jerked his hips. His thrusts became shallow, but Cartman was still pushing him in further, keeping the tightness firm on the head of his cock. "Ah, fuck...!" Kyle hissed, panting as he came.
It didn't take long for Cartman to follow suit, the sound of Kyle's moans finishing him off. Cartman let his head fall against the sheets, looking completely spent. The dizzying pleasure still managed to linger.
It wasn't long until Kyle was climbing onto him, the heat of their torsos converging as Kyle lied on top and kissed Cartman's lips. Cartman smiled against Kyle's lips, kissing back.
The kiss was brief and Kyle resting his head against Cartman's collarbone as they cooled down. Kyle panted lightly, pressing his lips lazily against Cartman's neck.
"I guess now you need another shower." Kyle joked. Cartman let out a light laugh.
"Yeah, thanks." He replied endearingly.
Kyle couldn't help smiling too now. Cartman wasn't acting distant this time, the way he usually did after Kyle fucked him. Something like this was just what Kyle needed to help dissolve those awful theories floating around in his head. He hugged Cartman tighter to him, feeling Cartman tense.
"Jesus..." Cartman blurted, feeling his heart race.
"What?" Kyle asked.
"The hell happened? Why are you being so... uh, nice?"
Kyle stared questioningly at Cartman. "Do I need a reason to be nice to my boyfriend?"
"No, it's just kind of..." Cartman paused, trying to find the words. "Not how you usually act."
"I'm not usually nice to you?" Kyle asked, feeling offended.
Cartman winced. "No, agh, god dammit... You know what I mean." Kyle said nothing, looking expectantly at Cartman. Cartman sighed, stroking his fingers through Kyle's hair. "You were like... all hot for me and shit, and you used my name, and just now you were being all cuddly."
Kyle sighed to himself. Admittedly that was all for his own reassurance, but he wasn't about to let Cartman know he felt insecure about his previous.. performance, in bed. "I've been wanting to try using that name," He said, deciding to be vague, steering the conversation in a controlled manner.
"That name," Cartman repeated. "You mean my actual name."
Kyle nodded. "Does it sound weird when I say it?"
Cartman laughed. "It's my name, Kyle. It's not like I'm stoked about being called 'Cartman.'"
Kyle furrowed his eyebrows, looking somewhat surprised. "Huh..." He said looking down. "I guess I'm just so used to calling you Cartman."
"Didn't you guys start calling me that spitefully or something?" Cartman remarked flatly.
"Maybe," Kyle murmured, then letting out a sigh. "Yeah, probably." Kyle couldn't even remember when they started calling him Cartman. They knew each other since they were toddlers. But it's not like they really thought of Cartman endearingly back then.
"Neither sounds weird." Cartman said, shrugging. "I don't care if you call me Cartman or Eric."
Kyle laughed, sitting up on the bed. "But now that you gave me a choice, you'll get your feelings hurt if I don't call you Eric, right?"
Cartman scoffed. "What do you take me for, some kind of sniveling pussy? 'Wahhh, Kyle's not using my first name! He must not wuv me!' "
Kyle swatted at Cartman's arm, laughing a bit to himself. "Whatever. I'm gonna go rinse off."
"Hurry up. I'm next."
Kyle called up his parents to let them know where he was. He spent a good amount of his day with Cartman- or, Eric, as he was calling him now. He decided he'd only call him that when they were alone. If someone heard Kyle suddenly calling Cartman Eric they might raise an eyebrow. The two of them mostly played games, getting really competetive in the fighting games and then bickering. Eric was still a bad sport when it came to anything competitive.
Around 6 pm Kyle left Eric's house, and on the walk home he thought about a lot of things. How their relationship had been growing, and how Eric had even slipped the word 'love' when referring to Kyle. 'He must not wuv me.' It was a bastardized version of the word, but it still held the same meaning.
It was in jest, but it still provoked feelings from Kyle. Maybe he was taking this all too seriously. It was just a word. There were feelings between him and Cartman... Eric. It didn't matter what they wanted to call it. It was just a name for their affection.
Yet at the same time, if Eric Cartman turned around and told Kyle that he was in love, Kyle knew he would react differently. Maybe it was because thinking of Cartman being in love with anyone was such a surreal idea. Or maybe it wasn't that Eric might love him that bothered him. It was more that if Eric ever uttered those three words, there would automatically be a pressure applied to their relationship.
Eric saying that he loved Kyle meant that he not only loved Kyle, but he wanted Kyle to know that he loved him. That he trusted Kyle with that information. That would be bizarre. That was too much.
In his mind he understood that there was a lack of trust between him and Eric. Eric didn't trust Kyle because... well, he didn't trust anyone apparently, and Kyle didn't trust Eric because he was Eric Cartman.
That lack of trust had been changing lately though. It had especially been noticeable today. He felt like he made progress with Eric in some way. Maybe the hand holding from Friday night helped. But the skepticism, the caution, it was still there. Kyle could feel it.
Maybe that was normal. Healthy even. They'd only been together for a few weeks. Maybe it was better that the two of them weren't all over each other, wearing their hearts on their sleeves.
Hell, what was Kyle thinking. They were teenagers. Of course it was better that they were cautious. He was just overthinking things. He shoved his hands into his pockets, opening the door to his house.
Everything would be fine. Kyle just had to let everything play out naturally.
Sunday, 5:00 PM
Now that they were hanging out with friends, Kyle made a conscious effort to call Eric 'Cartman' again. He'd been referring to him as 'Eric' for nearly the whole day yesterday, and had repeated it multiple times in his head over the span of time it took for him to get to sleep.
They were at Stan's house again, playing Mortal Kombat, with Cartman bitching about how Kenny needed to pick a weaker character because he kept using cheap ones, and Stan being bent on the fact that fighting games had way too many sequels. After pointing out how Cartman was such a poor sport for the 100th time, Kyle's attention was brought to the front door, hearing a knock from it.
Stan's mom was the one to answer it, and Butters sprung through the door, looking out of breath. "Aw darnit, I'm late!" He whined.
"They're playing Mortal Kombat," Stan informed Butters as the blond boy took a seat on the couch to watch them.
"Yeah, your sissy game's gotta wait until we're done." Cartman teased while he mashed buttons. Butters had said he was bringing a game to play, but with this group if you didn't show up on time everyone else had game priority. There was no telling when Butters would be able to play his game.
"Just let him put it on, I'm tired of Mortal Kombat anyway." Kyle said. He glanced over and caught Butters staring at him, his head very slightly tilted to the side, looking mesmerized. Kyle met his stare questioningly.
"Hah, well, sorry your highness but I'm not done whooping Kenny's ass yet." Cartman replied defiantly, starting another round.
Butters reclined against the couch, forcing his eyes away from Kyle and to the screen. Kyle could feel his stomach tighten, feeling nervous about being stared at. He suddenly wondered if he was sitting to close to Eric.
"I'm gonna get a drink." Kyle announced, getting off the couch and heading towards the kitchen. He didn't want to look conspicuous and he felt like he might look guilty of something if he stayed there, sitting potentially too closely to Cartman and looking anxious. He leaned down to look through the fridge, the cool air hitting his face feeling refreshing.
"Hey, Kyle?" A voice said from the doorway. Kyle looked up and saw Butters standing there. Inside Kyle was the slightest feeling of nervousness. First Butters was staring at him and then he was following him, wanting to talk to him. He supposed he would know what was up soon enough. He grabbed a drink and faced Butters, eyeing him cautiously.
"Yeah? What's up?"
Butters rubbed his knuckles against each other slightly, looking at a loss for words. Kyle waited and watched anxiously as he mustered up the words. When they came out Kyle didn't quite understand them, and it seemed like Butters thought Kyle would. "So, is it true?" Butters said.
Kyle frowned. "Is what true?"
"W-Well, you know. The rumors." Butters answered lamely.
Kyle could feel his heart skip a beat. "Rumors about what?" He asked, trying to not sound nervous.
The next words Butters uttered sounded so painfully clear and loud in Kyle's ears that he thought everyone could hear it.
"People are saying you and Eric are together."
In that moment Kyle's heart hammered so intensely that it fucking hurt. He was hit with a wave of heat and nausea that overwhelmed him. His thoughts staggered, his mind going blank. He knew. This wasn't some false alarm or misconception; Butters really knew. And he knew because other people told him. Other people knew, and they were probably passing the news around like crazy.
"Kyle? Are you okay?" Butters asked, stepping towards him.
Kyle's attention was directed towards Butters again. "No, we're not together." He bit out, trying to not sound panicked. The least he could do was deny it. If it was just a rumor then all he had to do was deny it...
"Well I just wanted to let you know, Kyle. There's these pictures going around of you and Eric sitting together and holding hands." Butters remarked.
Fuck.
Kyle pushed through Butters, storming out of the kitchen. He needed air. He needed to think clearly, and from how he felt he might to throw up too. He rushed through the livingroom quickly, catching a glimpse of his three friends looking at him oddly as he scrambled past them and slammed the door. He stumbled outside, nearly tripping down the steps and hanging onto the fence when he stopped, feeling dizzy.
Kyle could feel himself shaking. He wasn't ready to just be torn open like that. Butters knew. A lot of people knew. They saw him holding hands with Cartman. There were pictures. Proof.
He desperately tried to calm down, trying to think. It was difficult. His mind was screaming negativity, reality. Kyle had been so caught up in this new thing, this excitement, this happiness, that he stopped being careful. He let his guard down and forgotten there were things to be afraid of.
And now they'd slipped up. Kyle took in a deep breath, but the despair surged through his mind like a powerful current, relentlessly. It was out in the open, and he couldn't contain it. It was gonna be everywhere.
Everyone would know. And now... now it wouldn't be long until Kyle's parents found out.
Chapter End.
I'm like, super sorry that this took so long. D: It was pretty difficult to sort all my thoughts out for this one. The execution of these events was really important to me. I hope it all makes sense, I'm still kind of worried about it.