hello lovelies, new chapter for your enjoyment, I have to say that while I like some parts of it, it just wouldn't flow right and in my opinions it's not my best, but after 5 complete re-writes, 7 edits, another partial re-write yesterday and another edit today, this is probably the best i'm going to get this.

Harmony watched in a sort of detached fascination, as Severus tangled his hands in to his silky hair and gripped the strands hard, it was a clear sign of distress in the normally stoic boy.

But at the moment she really couldn't bring herself to feel anything for his obvious distress, her world felt like it was crumbling around her and landing in a pile at her feet.

He began to pace agitatedly in front of her and didn't stop as he began to speak once more, the words seemed to be tumbling from his mouth as if he had no way of stopping them and all Harmony could do was listen in dread.

"I had absolutely no intention of asking you to the ball as my date. But I had no choice but to ask you, otherwise Diggory would've asked you to go with him and you would've ditched the idea of going with me. I hadn't counted on the problems that would arise by asking you to go with me as my actual date. I hadn't counted on the past three weeks being so bloody hard. I hadn't counted on the fact that you'd start giving me these openings to kiss you and hold your hand..or..or.. other couple-ly type things that I couldn't do. I had-"

Severus was cut off abruptly by a voice that was almost unrecognisable through all the hurt it contained, every word that was spoken by it seemed to be cracking under the weight of the emotion it held.

"What the hell do you mean you had NO choice, you had plenty of choice. The first one being that you don't just ask a girl out, so that she won't go to a stupid bloody dance with some one who's not you!. Particularly when you apparently didn't want to go with said girl in the first bloody fucking place!"

In his head Severus went over the words he'd just said, and came to the horrifying realisation of just how bad that the hastily spilled truth would've sounded to Harmony.

He'd more or less implied that he'd never wanted to date her in the first place and that he'd only asked her because he selfishly didn't want his friend leaving him on his own.

He needed to better explain himself before the whole evening went up in flames through his own stupidity.

"I didn't mea-"

But Harmony wasn't having it and raised the volume of her pain filled voice to make sure that he didn't get the chance to interrupt her

"More to the point, where the hell have you gotten this idiotic idea, that Diggory of all people was going to ask me!. Even if he had, I would've said No. I wanted to go to this ruddy fucking ball with you, no one else. Even if we were only going to go as friends, I would've been happy with that, and I still would've told any body else who tried to ask me to sod off. Don't you get it!, A night with you; even if it was just as a friend, was always, always going to be better than going with some random person I don't know from Adam. I was happy to leave things as they were, but then completely out of the blue you asked me to be your actual, proper date and I don't think I've ever felt so bloody happy as I did then"

Harmony let out a bitter, water logged snort, before turning he back on her friend, the pain was just to much.

"And now I find out that you didn't actually want anything to do with me in a romantic sense, you've essentially been using my own feelings against me, to make sure that I didn't pick someone else's company over yours"

That snort had pierced his heart like a red hot needle. He'd never seen her so emotionally broken.

"Harm.."

Severus tried to put a hand on her shoulder, in some vain attempt at comfort; but she violently shrugged it off.

when she turned back to face him, her eyes were glistening in the low light of the gardens, but it didn't lessen the effectiveness of the glare she was levelling at him.

Severus felt himself gulp. He'd seen this glare many times, though it had never been levelled on him to this degree.

"How could you be so fucking selfish!. I care about you so fucking much and when you asked me to the ball I felt complete. I fucking knew something wasn't right though. No sooner had you asked me, you started to act really fucking weird when we were together, you've been detached and emotionally distant, and you've wanted to spend less and less time with me and giving me the most stupid excuse's as to why".

She took a step towards him, her face was mere inches from his chest, and she was now looking up in to his face. Her glistening eyes bore in to his very soul feeling like they were ripping it to shreds.

She'd lowered the volume of her voice now, but the hurt was as loud as ever.

"At first I was confused, I couldn't understand what was wrong, was it something I'd done?, so I asked my mum and Hermione for advice. They seemed to think you might be acting reserved, because you were unsure what the change to our relationship might entail or that you might just be trying to act all noble and shit. Their advice was to give you time, let things settle. So I did, at least to begin with; but giving you space wasn't stopping you from acting weird. So I though hey maybe he just needs to know that I'm in to this, so I tried to encourage you with some favourable advances".

Harmony shook her head, a look of disgusted self loathing came over her beautiful face, warping it in to something unrecognisable from the girl he loved.

"Yeah, cause that was such a good fucking plan!. All that got me was you blowing hot and cold, you'd seem OK with the advances at first and then you'd start your stoic must not touch routine. What happened the other week is the perfect example, you kissed my cheek, went all weird and ran off in to the night, I've barely seen you since, I've actually watched you purposely walk in a different direction to me, for Merlin's sake!, tonight is literally the first time in over a week, that you haven't run in the opposite direction at the sight of me".

Harmony gave a mirthless laugh, the sound of it chilled Severus's blood.

"I guess I should've took the bloody hint, that you blowing hot and cold like this was only ever going to mean one thing for me. But I hoped so badly, so badly, that what I was thinking had to be wrong, but clearly it wasn't. Which begs the question, when the ball was over and you'd gotten what ever it was that you wanted to gain from tonight, what exactly were you planning to do?. Let me down gently or just blow me off completely and tell me that I gotten the wrong end of the stick, and then try and go back to being best friends again, like none of this had ever happened".

"Harmony, pleas.."

Severus tried to touch her again and she shook him off once more, anger burning in her eyes.

"No, you've said more than enough. Godric Severus, if you didn't like me like that, why didn't you just tell me you'd made a mistake!. I would've been sore with you for a while, but we could've gone back to being friends. We've been friends for so long and I thought that our friendship meant as much to you, as it did to me. Obviously I was wrong, because there's no way you could have the same investment in this friendship, if you've been so callously able to play with my feeling for you, feelings that you were clearly aware of. That's not just fucking cruel Severus.. it down right heartless".

Severus heard the exact moment her heart finally caved under the weight of her hurt feelings and shattered. He felt his shatter right along with it.

Her voice was barely above a whisper now and so clogged with emotion, that the words would be barely audible to most people, but to Severus every word was still crystal clear and everyone felt like a punch to the gut.

"I care about you so much… and now I find out I've been making a fool of myself this entire time, because you never had any intention of returning my feelings, did you? is that what the plan was for?. A plan to make sure that you'd get what you wanted with out having to kiss the midget troglodyte Gryffindork bitch.."

Severus had watched feeling completely broken as she spoke those heart rending words and began to swipe angrily at her damp eyes.

He badly wanted to refute those words and correct her assumptions, but thought it best to let her get the rest of her hurt out before he tried, but when she began to refer to herself in those same disgusting terms as his house mates, he decided he couldn't bare to hear anymore.

With out giving her a warning or a chance to protest, he gently but firmly grabbed both her wrists.

She once more tried to shake off the contact, but his grip was too firm and there was no way she was going to be able to dislodge her wrists from it. Unable to get away, but not wanting to look at the person that had caused her more hurt than she would have ever thought him capable of, she moved her head down and to the side, blocking him out as best she could.

Severus's actions might have stopped the flow of vitriol that she was about to start spewing about herself, but she was now refusing to look him.

Honestly he couldn't blame her for that, not with her current thoughts about his recent behaviour, he wouldn't want to look at her either if the situation was reversed.

Severus released one of her wrists. The freed arm immediately went to her side; her hand automatically balling in to a fist.

He gently put his fingers under the edge of her chin and tilted her face up towards his. She made a valiant attempt at resisting, but in the end Severus got what he wanted, and her eyes met his once more.

Gone was the longing fog of happiness from earlier in the night, all that was left was raw pain, seeing it felt like a physical blow.

A blow made all the worse because his own unthinking comments had put it there in the first place.

On the other hand, the sheer amount of pain he was seeing was unlikely to be solely from his few unthinking comments.

Clearly these ludicrous thoughts that he didn't like her, had been festering away for sometime and slowly rotting her soul. His unthinking comment was just the final push that broke it.

Professor Evans had been right, this plan of his had pushed Harmony to her breaking point and he could very well loose her if he couldn't fix the damage.

He supposed if one must look for something good in this whole mess, he was now very much assured that her feelings for him had been genuine. Though that was unlikely to do him much good now, not if he couldn't repair what he'd broken, through his own stupidly petty thoughts about his appearance.

And they were stupid, because if he really thought about it properly, when had she ever stuck her nose up at the way he looked?. Even when someone rightfully called him a greasy bastard, she'd told them were to shove it.

He'd been a blind fatheaded arse, it's just a shame it had took this shambles for him to realise it.

The only thing he could do now, was bare his soul to her and hope it was enough to fix the rotten hole he'd caused in hers.

"Now that I have your attention I want to make a few things clear. Number one, I Never Ever, want to hear you describing yourself in those derogatory terms again. You are not a troglodyte, a Gryffindork or a bitch. Understand? And you are anything but disgusting".

Harmony's eyes were wary, as if she didn't want to believe anything he said.

"Number two; I am very aware of how fucked up that comment about asking you out was. I could've worded it much better and for that you have my deepest apologies. I have never wanted to intentionally cause you pain and that comment was thoughtless. When I said I had no choice-"

Severus saw Harmony wince, but ignored it as best he could.

"When I said I had no choice but to ask you out. I meant in no way to imply, that I had no desire to date you. Far from it infact. I'd originally planned for us to go to the ball as friends, and hopefully by the end of the night I'd hoped to have asked you on a proper first date. One that could've been conducted away from the prying eyes of the dunderheaded students and the expectations of the teachers".

Severus took in a deep breath through his nose and exhaled in a short burst of nerves.

Well here goes nothing.

"But since the end of the first task, I'd noticed Diggory seemed to be increasingly in your vicinity; after a little while, I began to notice the ever increasing glances and longing looks he was sending your way. You didn't notice a damn thing of course. You never do when people start paying you that type of attention. Then that day in the library, I'd watched him looking at you for fifteen minutes solid, he wasn't even bothering to pretend to read and then he'd started to make his way over with such a determined expression. I suddenly realised what it was he wanted and I felt my chance slipping through my fingers. I was so certain if he asked, you'd go with him and not me".

Severus could see Harmony was about to protest and gently but firmly placed his thumb over her lips to stop her, while the rest of his fingers remained holding her chin in place.

Harmony didn't look best pleased at being silenced like this.

If the situation wasn't so precarious he'd have laughed at her petulant look.

"I'm aware of how stupid this sounds now, but at the time all I could see was my future happiness running down the drain. So I did the first impulsive thing I've ever done in my life; I asked you before he could, hoping you'd say yes. I am rather…. territorial of your affections, and I honestly couldn't believe that if you were given the choice between him and me, that you'd still choose to go with me. After all he's a much better match for some one as wholly exquisite as you, so I decided to remove the choice before it was presented".

Severus felt Harmony trying to interrupt again; but she was unable to more her lips to a full enough extent to speak coherently and gave up with a huff.

"As to the reasons for not wanting to do the couple-ly type things. It wasn't that I didn't do them because I didn't want to. Fuck no, I want the everyone to know you're mine and no one else's. I didn't do them, because I feared, wrongly I'll admit, that your apparent affections may not be strong enough, not to wane once we did those types of things and you found them lacking in some manner. My original plan had been to develop your affections over time and hope that they developed in to a strong enough foundation that they wouldn't collapse at the last hurdle"

Severus gave a wry shake of his head.

"But then you threw me for a loop as usual and once I'd asked you to the ball, it became apparent that you already felt something for me, I wrongly thought that these feelings couldn't be as strong as the ones I'd hoped to build, so I stupidly came up with a new plan to make sure that the possibly fragile feelings you already felt didn't disappear".

Severus gave a self deprecating huff, he honestly couldn't believe how idiotic he'd been recently.

"I knew you'd have some weird over the top romantic ideal in your head about the way things should play out between a man and a woman, so I thought it would be best if I tried to recreate it as best as I could, so that I could keep your affections alive"

Severus saw Harmony eyes flare, once more trying to say something and releasing no more than a string of babble against his thumb.

"Idon'thavearomanticidealinmyhead"

Remarkably he still understood what she was trying to say.

"It's no use denying it Harmony, I've seen you reading those blasted books with a dreamy look on your face often enough to know that you do have one in there somewhere. So after my hand had been forced and my original long term plan had been scuppered, and having a vague idea of what I thought was needed to keep your affections, I came up with a new plan".

Harmony had narrowed her eyes at him in disapproval, whether this was because of what he was saying or the fact that he was stopping her from talking he wasn't sure.

"I thought that the best way to prove that I could be everything you'd need to fulfil that ideal, and therefore prove there would never be anyone better, would be if I could give you the most romantic first kiss a sixteen year old boy in a boarding school in the middle of Scotland could provide. Since I couldn't think of anything more romantic than the upcoming ball and since I'd already asked you anyway, it seemed like the best place to put my new plan in to action".

Severus licked his lips, Harmony's gaze was piercing him, but he knew he needed to get this last part out.

"So I made a monumentally foolish decision. One that I will forever regret. More than anything simply because my decision had caused you so much hurt. I made the decision that I wouldn't engage you in any type of romantic contact at all before the ball. This was for two reasons; one it meant that you wouldn't be given the chance to reject me before I could put the plan in to action. As I said, i was very much of the thought that should you be given the chance at romantic contact before the ball, you'd deicide you didn't like me for one vapid reason or another. I now realise it was quite foolish of me to think like this, I have known you long enough, that I should have known that you were unlikely to be turned off by something as stupid as my teeth or my scent, all I can say to defend my thoughts, is that I was scared of loosing you"

Harmony's glare changed slightly, it became admonishing it that way that clearly said, yes you should have bloody well known better than to think me that shallow you fucking twit.

"The second reason was much more simple. If I gave in to the most simple of contact, I knew I was bound to give in and kiss you wherever we were, the plan be damned, and I couldn't have that. I was so sure that I needed to give you that perfect kiss above anything else. I've worked my self in to a right frenzy over the past few weeks. As the urge to just say fuck it and kiss you got stronger, I started to avoid you".

Severus removed his hand from where it was gripping her wrist and slid it down until it tangled with her fingers, he felt something deep inside him rejoice when she tentatively responded in kind.

Keeping eye contact, he pulled the tangle of fingers up to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand, before gently letting it fall back to her side once more.

"I can do nothing but apologise for my thoughtless actions towards you as of late. I can only hope that my back and forth behaviour hasn't dented you to badly and that you'll eventually be able to forgive me".

"canispeaknow"

Severus realised that he was still gently keeping her lips shut and instantly removed his thumb from her lips. He'd said his piece, he just had to hope that the explanation was enough.

Severus could see Harmony's eyes searching his face, she was clearly looking for some sign of subterfuge.

Severus was so distracted watching her searching eyes, that he missed Harmony bringing her hand up towards his head. He only became aware of it when he felt the impact to the back of his skull for the second time that night.

Like mother like daughter.

The unexpected blow (though honestly this was Harmony so it really shouldn't be), caused Severus to bring both his hand up to the back of his head in a defensive manner. Glancing at Harmony as he did so he could see a range of emotions filtering across her features. She was clearly pissed, Severus couldn't blame her for that. But she also looked bewildered, with just the faintest glimmer of something he might just dare to call affection.

"You Severus Tobias Snape".

Severus winced at the use of his full name, this was going to be bad.

"Can be incredibly thick for some one who is so incredibly smart".

Harmony took a pace away from the infuriating boy, her thoughts were tumbling in such a jumbled mess she really didn't know what to say to him.

Just how was she supposed to address all the things that he'd said?

When she glance back at the boy in question his head was bowed and his hair was obscuring his face from view. He looked more than a little pathetic at the moment. She'd known him foe thirteen years and she couldn't recall another point in time where he'd ever spoken so much, or so sincerely about his feelings.

That in it's self spoke volumes, perhaps he really had realised how badly he fucked up, not only with his earlier comment but with all his other actions recently to.

she contemplated the boy for a few seconds more before, coming to a decision on what she was going to do.

"First things first, I want to make one thing abundantly clear, I have no desire to date Cedric Diggory in the present, the past or the future. He's nice enough, but he's to Hufflepuff for my tastes, I much prefer surly snakes who bottle up their thoughts and fuck with their dates heads for weeks on end".

Severus had looked up slightly at her declaration about not wanting Diggory, but ducked his head again when she mentioned the fucking with her head.

"Second, I know I've already said this once, but I think it bares repeating, then perhaps it might penetrate your thick skull of yours, it would never have mattered if any one else asked me to go to the ball with them. I was always going to spend the night with you, the only thing that would've stopped me would've been if you'd gone and agreed to go with someone else".

She saw his head twitch slightly at this declaration.

"Thirdly, we've known each other for thirteen years Severus, if I was ever going to be repulsed by anything about you it would've happened a long time ago, and the only thing that's ever made my affections for you wane in thirteen years, has been your cool demure towards my advances during this entire shitfest of the past few weeks".

Another head twitch.

"I apolog-"

Harmony stopped him before he could, she needed to get this out in the open and another heartfelt apology from him might just mean that she never got there.

"Let me get this out, please Sev".

Severus nodded his head, but he felt the little ember of hope burn more brightly at the fact that she was referring to him as Sev instead of Severus.

"OK, I want you to understand something Sev. This plan of yours has meant that I have been having some severe self doubts. My ranting from earlier should be proof enough of those doubts, but do you really understand how severe the hurt is that your rebukes have caused?".

Severus gave her a small, almost forlorn nod of his head, but his face and his emotions were still hidden behind a curtain of black hair.

Harmony took a step towards him, the sound of crunching gravel made him raise his head and she gently laid her hand on his cheek, before giving it a brief caress, feeling the stubble on his jaw as she did so.

Severus felt his eyes slip closed at the delicate touch it was like heaven and hell rolled in to one.

"I don't think you do Sev, not really. I thought you'd decided that I wasn't good enough and that you wanted some one better, some one more fashionable or more girlie or more normal.. or.. or some one pretty. Some one who was nothing like me".

Severus's eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently.

"No I -"

Harmony cut him off with an admonishing look and he fell silent again.

"I know you've said that I shouldn't put my self down, but these thoughts have been raging through my head for weeks. I mean every time you turned away or went stiff on me..or just ignored me, another horrid thought would push it's self in to my head and eventually I couldn't quash them any more, I began to listen to them and they've started to wear at me".

Harmony removed her hand from Severus's cheek and turned her back on him, wrapping her arms about herself in a protective gesture.

"I had a boy who'd asked me to go with him as his date and I was overjoyed. I thought 'this is it Harmony your wish is coming true he's finally noticed you as a more than his tomboy friend". But then the days went on and you were either treating me with stoic indifference or you were still treating me like your life long tomboy friend, and then the complete avoidance started in earnest after that night you walked me back to the tower and frankly.. it hurt. Mum and Hermione weren't giving me any usable advice, so I listened to the voices in my head instead, at least the things they were saying seemed to hold more merit for your actions, than mum and Hermione's explanations did. So I started to listen to my toxic thoughts, and their reasoning for your avoidance was very clear, simply put, they told me that everything I am must be wrong".

Severus wanted to comfort her and tell her just how wrong those voices were and that there wasn't a thing wrong with her, but her stance was a self protective one and any physical contact from him at the moment was likely to be very unwelcome. so he kept his hands to himself.

Why did I ever think this was a good plan.

"And now I find that all that anguish, all those toxic little voices that kept shredding my self esteem every time you rebuffed me, all off it was because you'd gotten it in to your head that I needed some sort of sodding romantic ideal, otherwise I was going to throw you away like a threadbare jumper"

Harmony let her arms falls, and turned back to Severus, she's come to a conclusion on what she was going to do.

Severus could see the determination in her gaze and wondered if this was what the final death blow to their friendship was going to look like.

"Well I've got news for you Severus Snape".

Severus flinched, waiting for the blow. Waiting for her to say he'd lost her anyway, any hope that was still alive felt like it was about to extinguished.

But instead of the cutting remark, telling him just what he could do with his plans and his friendship, he felt her tiny hand start to caress his face again.

"I've been yours and you've been mine for thirteen years, and I'll be damned to hell if your stupidly screwy, plotting brain is going to stop me being yours for a lot bloody longer, you've hurt me, badly, and you're not forgiven yet, not by a long shot, but I hope that we can move on from this, who knows may be we'll end up stronger for it. But I swear to merlin if you ever try and pull shit like this again, that it, we're through. No second chances".

Severus quickly nodded in agreement, there was no way he was going to even attempt something like this again, if Harmony could see her way to forgiving him, even if it wasn't immediately it was enough. They'd just have to take things slow and see where it took them.

"Oh, and just for the record, you could've kissed me for the first time in the potions supply cupboard and I wouldn't have given a damn. All I care about is that it's you who's kissing me, not the location".

She was still caressing his cheek with a touch that was barely there, but to Severus it was the greatest feeling in the world. He slumped his head in to her hand as the relief that he hadn't lost her started to course through his veins.

"So if I'm not yet forgiven, which I don't blame you for in the slightest, where does that leave us? do you want me to back off or do you want to just continue from here and forget that tonight was so fucked up"

Harmony bit her lip looking contemplative.

"Well I don't think we should forget tonight, but I don't want to start from the beginning either"

Severus pulled the hand that was caressing his cheek to his mouth and kissed the palm reverently.

"What ever you want to do, I'll do it. I only want you happy, even when I was being an arse that never changed"

Harmony smiled, a true blinding happy thing, something that Severus was sure he'd never be graced with again, during that dreadful conversation. It felt like home.

"Good".

Harmony decided not to waste another moment, and closed the gap between them. Severus was completely shocked by the unexpected press of lips to his own and to start with didn't know how he was supposed to respond.

Harmony had kept her eyes open to see his reaction to the kiss, once the shock passed and he finally began to respond to her kiss in earnest, she surrendered to the feeling of Severus lips against hers, closed her eyes and wiped every other thought other than those about this stupidly idiotic perfect boy from her mind.

well there we are folks their first kiss, and for those of you who've read the first story and are saying oi, their first kiss was on the dance floor at the end of the ball, this kiss in the garden was always going to be their first, when lily makes that proclamation at the end of the ball she was making an assumption as a heavily invested mother.

next chapter should be up sometime between Friday and Sunday.

see y'all soon Pink (^^)