Author's Note:

Yay! First review... which is funny because it's a reply to a random little author's note from last chapter!

Quick disclaimer, this chapter is violent and slightly disturbing and you may find yourself being mad at me. I've tried to keep all of the injury stuff as realistic as possible by extensively questioning my relatives in the medical field. (AKA my mother).

Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 10:

Luxe

Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! Any other Career! Not this guy!

Moore's said it, Perry's said it, and I've seen the way he looks at me and Peach.

I try to get up, but I'm dizzy, in pain, and laying on my stomach.

"I think I'll probably cut your eyes out," Luxe whispers "It was all Bubble ever talked about, and well, I think it'd be a great ode to her memory? Don't you think? Especially since you're the one that killed her."

I try to reach for my knife, but Luxe grabs both my hands, pins them to my sides and sits his feet on them.

"But first, sweet Denim, we should have some fun." Luxe continues. I feel one of his hand flitting around the waistband of pants. He's trying to tease me. He's trying to make me afraid.

It's working.

When he actually reaches into my pants, I start screaming.

"PERRY!" I scream "PER-" Luxe slams my head into the ground, making my head hurt too bad to form words. Even if Perry heard me the first time, if he looks out, the willow is too far away and too hidden for him to see me. He'll think he just imagined it.

Suddenly, I'm looking into Luxe's face and he's slapping me. I must have passed out from the pain.

I can feel something creeping along my hairline. Probably blood.

"Come on, Denim," whispers Luxe "Surely someone as tough-" he spits out the word with disdain as though he can't believe that a little girl could be tough"-as you wouldn't pass out from pain?"

I try to look away from him. I don't like the look in his eyes. It's animalistic… predatory. It reminds me of some of the boys from the community home…

"Stop following me," I mutter as I turn a corner. I glance back at the boy following me. I forget his name. I don't like talking to anyone other than Rosie.

The boy shrugs instead of responding.

He has a weird look in his eye. I've never really seen it before. It's intense. It's scary. I don't like it and it's starting to freak me out.

I start walking down the hall again, trying to get to the bathroom. The boy is still behind me. I start walking faster and then I feel a hand on my shoulder-

"C'mon, Denim," Luxe whispers "Don't pass out on me again." he smiles at me. A sick, twisted, leering smile that's designed just to make me even more terrified than I already am. "And that boy from 11? How do you know I haven't gotten to him?"

This thought horrifies me for a few seconds before I realize that Perry can't possibly be dead.

"Ca…" I whisper feebly.

"What's that?" he taunts.

"Cannon…" I whisper.

He grins. "Still got your wits about you, eh? Oh well. I'm sure he's around here somewhere, and that little girl, too. In the barn or the house. So much fun I'll have tonight when I'm done with you…"

Now I've doomed Perry. But at least if I've as good as killed him Peach is out there. If I'm not at the tree line, she'll know something's wrong. Maybe she'll even get some of our supplies. What we have would probably seem too petty to take to a Career. And even if she doesn't, she has the rope, the knife, the water bottle and the extra socks…

I can feel Luxe reaching down for my pants again. This time he actually unzips them and starts sliding them down my legs-

"Stop!" I scream, struggling as much as I can.

"Oh, come on, Denim," whispers the boy, throwing my pants to the ground and reaching for my underwear "We're gonna have some fun,"

No. I am not letting this happen again.

I take a deep breath, trying to focus clearly. Luxe is looking at my face, trying to watch my expression with that sick, twisted smile on his face as he brushes his fingers along my bare inner thigh.

He's not looking anywhere else but my face.

So despite how I normally react, I let a tear escape, just to give him something to look at while I reach for my knife. When he undid my belt, it fell to the ground. My knife is an inch away from my fingers.

Idiot.

I grasp the knife carefully and arc my arm up, stabbing him sharply in the side.

He lets out an "Oof!" and falls half-on-top of me, reaching for his own knife. Before he can I stab his wrist.

He yells out in pain and I use his weakness to flip us over so I'm now sitting on top of him and then I stab my knife into his chest as hard as I can, over an over and over and over again.

I vaguely hear his cannon go off, but I just keep stabbing. Over and over and over again. I'm letting out all of my pent-up emotions and sense of injustice by killing this boy. This pig. This pathetic excuse for a human being. Someone who had no business being alive in the first place.

"Denim…"

I freeze. My knife is currently inside of Luxe's chest. And it's a good thing, too, because if it hadn't been it probably would've gone straight through Perry's head.

"What happened?" he whispers, taking a cautious step towards me.

I don't look at him. It's obvious what happened, and I don't want anybody to see me like this. Despite the fact that I know the entire nation is probably on the very edge of their seats in anticipation, watching what will unfold in this horrible, violent, emotional moment.

"I… I think… that's… obvious…" I whisper, pulling the knife out of Luxe's body.

Perry kneels down next to me and carefully pries the knife out of my hands.

"You're covered in blood," he whispers.

"It's not all his." I whisper back.

"I think you should get away from his body, Denim." says Perry softly. I hesitate a moment, then nod, and let Perry help me up. We walk out from under the willow. When the moonlight hits me, Perry's eyes widen.

"Denim, your hand!" he gasps.

"I know," I mutter.

"No, you- we need to do something or you might bleed out!" hisses Perry, looking terrified. I shrug. "I- put pressure on it, I'll be right back!"

I hold my right hand over my still-bleeding wound while Perry runs inside the house. I glance back towards the willow. Luxe's pack, bow, and arrows lay abandoned a few feet away from the sweeping leaves. We'll have time to examine those later, I suppose.

Perry comes running back out with something in his hands. I see that one is the bandage he said he had and the other…

"No," I say quietly "No, no, no!"

"Just close your eyes," whispers Perry, pulling a match out of the little pack and lighting it.

I shake my head. "People… lose fingers… all the time! You don't need to- burn the wound… or whatever- I'll be fine!"

"You're too small," said Perry "And you're already getting light-headed, I can tell just by looking at you. Just close your eyes and let me do it, I've seen it be done before. It'll be over before you know it."

I shake my head, then suddenly grow very dizzy and sit down.

"Denim…"

"Fine." I whisper, holding out my hand. Perry takes my hand gently and I hiss under my breath. My whole hand hurts. It hurts even worse when I feel the fire against the wound. I try to count, but I'm getting too dizzy.

At some point, I can feel the flame being moved away, but the fiery stinging remains.

"It hurts," I whisper.

"I know," whispers Perry, wrapping his arms around me. He half-carries me back to the house. I can see stars now. I try to focus on the creaking floorboards as we move, but I just can't seem to.

"Now sit down," says Perry. I sit down and feel the cushion of the sleeping bag under me. "Take off your jacket, it's covered in blood."

I nod and unzip my jacket, sliding it off my arms. I shiver slightly as I lay down and curl up. I realize that I still don't have my pants.

I feel the blanket cover me and I try not to think about the now dulling pain. Perry gently takes my hand and I can feel him wrapping the bandage around it. I hear a ripping sound and the dribble of water, and then Perry's wiping a wet cloth over my face.

"My jacket…" I whisper.

"It's alright, we have an extra," he whispers back. "Just try to go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning when the pain's gone and your heart's pumped some more blood into you."

I nod and close my eyes as Perry continues to wipe the blood off of my face.

"We'll clean your hand up more tomorrow," he whispers. I nod again. "Drink some water," he adds, placing his flask in my right hand. I bring it to my mouth and take a few sips while he strokes my hair soothingly.

I've killed two people now.

Granted, one of them I really don't consider a person anymore. But still, there's that horrible, twisted feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. I don't even know what's right anymore.

I can hear a hovercraft now, coming to take away Luxe's body. Usually, all people have to be far away, but they either don't care because we're indoors or they're making an exception.

I'm sure every eye in the Capitol has been on me for the last half hour.

Considering that, I'm adding the observation of this highly personal moment to my list of grievances. Or maybe I should just call it the list of things I hate with every fiber of my being.

I wonder if this moment is counting for or against me in the eyes of the Capitol?

Sure, I'm currently wounded and dizzy and basically unable to care for myself, but I did just kill a boy in that very same state- while my hand was still bleeding.

Well, I suppose I wasn't as dizzy then.

But still, it's something.

I wonder if Peach is okay? I mean, I suppose I would've heard a cannon if she was dead? But what if she's running? Or captured? I wish I had sided with Perry and told her not to go. I wouldn't be worrying as much and I wouldn't be injured.

But I suppose Luxe wouldn't be dead, either.

If I think on the positive side, this is another Career down. Less threats to worry about.

But thinking about it from the human aspect, I hate myself. However much he deserved it, however much I had to do it to survive, he was still a person. I killed a person. I ended his life. He'll never breathe or talk to anybody again. He has a family. He has people that thought he would win and wanted him to come back home.

I really shouldn't let myself think about things. It only ever makes me think worse of people. Worse of everything, honestly.

"Try to sleep," Perry whispers again. "I promise that you'll feel better when you wake up."

"I… think… you're lying…" I whisper back.

I hear Perry chuckle as he lays down next to me, moving the blanket so it's covering both of us. I cuddle closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder like I did with Moore…

Last night. Just last night. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Perry hesitates a moment before he starts stroking my hair again.

I'm starting to feel a bit sick from that feeling of guilt in my stomach. I wonder how long it's going to eat at me? Until the day that I die? Possibly. Chances are that day isn't too far off.

But if I live past these Games… how long will it last? Will I have to go through it every day? Or will I turn to alcohol or drugs? Or in Finnick Odair's case, sex?

I don't know. I don't want to know.

For the first time in my life, I find myself wishing to be dead.

Author's Note:

Review, review, review!