Author's Notes: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and characters. No copyright infringement intended.
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Chapter Ten: Hospital Adventures
I had decided that hospitals are some of the most depressing places I'd ever been. After Edward left the stairwell, I wandered around the halls and looked into different rooms, allowing my mind to wonder about each patient. Some had family members gathered around them, some were aimlessly gazing out of their windows, and others weren't even conscious.
I wondered how many of them would get to go back to their homes, or how many of them would never again walk on the pavement or feel the warmth of the sun on their skin. Death had taken on a whole new meaning to me. It was no longer a far away thought in the back of my mind. Everyone knows that death would come upon them at some time; it's completely inevitable. But death no longer had that meaning of just being the last chapter in life that everyone faces.
Instead, death meant no longer living. No longer holding the one you love in your arms, no longer enjoying the smell of coffee in the morning, or feeling sand in between your toes. There would be no more holidays or chances to travel the world. Life - breathing, feeling, loving - would be gone, finished, and never to be had again.
Depressing, right?
I shook my head in attempt to erase the horrible thoughts from my mind. I made my way back to my dad's room and found him lying in bed, writing in what I could only guess was a journal.
"Hey, Dad," I said, walking in and sitting down next to him.
He smiled and closed the leather bound book. "Hey, Bells."
"Feel better after your scrub down?" I laughed, trying to make it less awkward.
"Well, I would, but blonde-nurse-number-2 got called away and this bald guy named Steve helped out instead. Not my favorite." Charlie's face scrunched up and looked almost pained from the memory.
I felt bad laughing at his discomfort, but the way he talked about the nursing staff was hilarious.
"So," he alluded, "are we going to talk about you and doc, or just let that be a huge elephant in the room?"
I sighed. Charlie and I had never talked about boys before. "There's no elephant in the room, Dad. Edward is a nice guy. That's all."
"That's all? Bella, stop kidding yourself." He paused and pushed himself up so he was sitting against the pillows on the bed. "Honey, I see how that boy looks at you and how he acts around you, and it is a lot more than him just being 'nice'."
"Well, Dad, I don't know what you want me to say. It's not like I live in Seattle. And, besides, I just met him a few weeks ago."
"Bella, you've known the man since you were in sixth grade!" he said, sounding incredibly frustrated.
Sure I knew who Edward Cullen was back then, but I didn't know anything about him - besides that he was filthy rich, and a stuck up son-of-a-bitch.
"That's not the point." I sighed, putting my head in my hands. "We're just now really learning about each other, and…well… I… I… I can't possibly offer him anything."
"Sweetheart, what on earth do you mean you can't offer him anything? You are beautiful, smart, caring, attentive, charming, and you have a kick-ass dad!" I laughed as he continued. "Plus, you can cook better than any chef I've ever met. And being fed is something every man wants! Honestly, Bella, the secret to every man's heart is a good meal and lots of sex."
"Dad!" I lifted my head mortified at his comment.
It was his turn to laugh at my discomfort, shrugging his shoulders. "Just being truthful, Bella."
"Okay, well, we are not talking about this anymore!"
"Okay, okay." He lifted his hands in mock surrender. "Just one more thing."
"Dad!" I whined.
"Honey, Edward is a great guy."
"I know that already."
"No, Bella, I don't think you do. Doc really is one of the most loyal, trustworthy men I've come across. He truly cares about others and he dedicates his life to make people like me feel better."
He looked at me then, almost contemplating whether he should continue or not. I gazed back at him, not saying anything, so he went on.
"Bella, baby," he whispered. "He's not your mother."
I could feel the heat of the anger rising in my face. "Don't go there." I shook my head at him.
"We need to talk about this, Bella," he pleaded with me.
"No, we don't."
"Your life does not have to turn out like mine. You don't have to be alone. You need to let someone in. Love is a risk that is worth taking."
The tears were streaming down my cheeks and my hands were shaking from the emotional warfare going on within my body.
"Bella, I don't regret one moment with your mom. We had so many great years together and made so many good memories! I might have not been enough for her, but honey, she gave me you. And you're the only girl I really need in my life."
My mind was going haywire with the emotional turmoil of his heartbreaking words and my incredible anger about him bringing up Renee.
"You need to give Edward a chance and let him love you. I can see it in his eyes that he already does, and nothing would hurt me more than you pushing him away."
"I appreciate your concern, but this is something that I need to deal with on my own."
"But, Bella, you're not dealing with it."
"What else do you want me to do?" Anger was winning the battle as I was practically yelling at him. "I wasn't the one who left; I wasn't the one who asked for this. But it happened, and I've been dealing with it the best way I know how ever since. I'm sorry if it's not the way you would like, but I can't fucking help that. And it's not like you handled everything just peachy, either! You can't even sleep in your own damn bed."
Charlie's eyes were shut as he tried to calm himself down from my rant. "She was my wife," he reasoned.
"Yeah, well she was my mother."
***
I walked up to the information desk on the first floor and tired my best to look as calm as possible considering my current mental state.
"Hold on one second, dear." The receptionist was a petite elderly woman with piercing blue eyes. "What can I do for you, darling?"
"Yes, hi, I was wondering if you knew where Dr. Cullen was." I smiled as sweetly as I could.
"Oh, yes," she giggled. Giggled? "Dr. Cullen, let's see here," she said, as she looked in a large white notebook. "He has an appointment at two and three-thirty this afternoon, but beyond that he is probably just doing his rounds."
"What floor do you think he would be on?"
"Either the third or forth, hun."
"Okay, thank you so much!"
I took the stairs two-at-a-time and started searching the hallways for bronze hair. I looked into every room and got my own strange looks from people passing by me. I turned the corner of the hall and ran into the exact arms I was searching for.
"Whoa, there," he gasped. "Oh, hey, Bella!" His face lit up in realization. I didn't falter in my steps as I flung myself at him. I pressed my lips to his fiercely, trying not to think about anything besides his physical contact.
He pulled me back, not understanding my urgency or complete inappropriateness. "Bella, what are you doing? We can't do this here."
"Edward, come on. I need you. Please?"
His eyes searched mine. I wasn't sure what he found, but he pulled on my hand and led me forward. We walked down the hall, past the rooms that I had searched for him in, and he stopped before a gray door. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, before he opened it and brought us inside.
Edward spun me around so my back was up against the wall. I had no patience for taking it slow and cherishing bodies, so I lifted my own shirt over my head and undid my pants quickly.
Edward opted out on undressing fully; instead he only pulled his pants and boxers down. He lifted my left leg and wrapped it around his waist. My hands wound tightly around his neck and fingered his hair. He sighed into my mouth, as his fingers made its way to my center. He spread open my folds and rubbed my clit, before pushing two fingers into me. I couldn't help the moan that escaped from my lips.
"Bella, you have to be quiet," he whispered in my ear. I merely nodded in response.
He continued his handy-work, and I relished in the sensations. I didn't allow my mind to wander to anything beyond what Edward was doing with my body - his breath on my skin, his tongue in my mouth, his hand on my waist, and his fingers inside me. My entire thought process was unwavering from Edward Cullen.
But I needed more. I needed to feel his length inside me, stretching me, connecting with me. I needed to feel connected to something.
"Edward," I pleaded. He breathed heavily as he removed his hand from me and filled the distance between our bodies. He pushed his mouth forcefully on mine to muffle the moans that escaped my lips as he entered me. Yes. This is what I was searching for.
I might not be able to fully give myself to Edward emotionally, but physically was a completely different matter. I could give this to him, and I would take it from him, greedily. The way our bodies worked together in such unison sent sparks throughout me. I never doubted anything when I was having sex with Edward. It was becoming the closest thing I had to a home. He possessed me, took over me, and became one with me.
Without warning, Edward removed himself from me and quickly turned me so I was facing the door. He spread my legs further apart with his knee and he entered me again from behind. This position felt so much more primal and it was exactly what I needed. I placed my hands on the door to steady myself, and Edward moved one hand to my breast, and the other to rub my clit. He continued to pound into me, hard and fast.
I felt the familiar and glorious feeling rise in me and I knew it wouldn't be long. "I'm so close," I moaned, between breaths.
Edward removed his hand from my breast to cover my mouth; evidently I was not so quiet when I climaxed. And a few thrusts later, I felt myself fall over the edge. I ended up biting Edward's hand that covered my mouth, and that's what sent him to his own release.
I pressed my forehead to the door and tried to regain my steady breathing. A feeling of complete serenity washed over me in my post-orgasmic state. I felt Edward wrap his arms around me, and he rested his head on my shoulder. His heaving breath on my neck caused goose-bumps to rise on my skin, and he kissed my flesh where they appeared.
"You are so beautiful, Bella," he sighed.
"I'm sorry I attacked you in the hallway," I responded. I felt bad for my outrageous behavior. But all I could think about in that moment was Edward.
He laughed quietly at my apology. "I'm not complaining, love. But what brought that on, if you don't mind me asking?" His voice was soft and full of compassion.
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. "You help me feel better."
I felt Edward's smile on my skin. I was honest in my explanation, even though he interpreted it not exactly how I meant. Yes, he made me feel better, because when I was with him, I felt nothing. I didn't feel pain, sorrow, shame, or guilt. I didn't feel useless or unwanted. I simply felt whole. Because in this world full of broken promises and failure, I was lost, simply floating by. Edward brought me back down, steadying me. When I could focus on him, and him alone, life made sense.
***
I left the closest, after a kiss from Edward, and made my way towards the ladies room to clean myself up. I splashed some cool water on my face and stared back at my reflection. I knew that I couldn't avoid Charlie's room for the entire day, and after thinking about it, I probably did over react just a little. I know Renee leaving affected him too, and I shouldn't act like a child over something that happened so long ago.
She wasn't a part of my life anymore, and I shouldn't let the topic of her affect me as if she were. I rounded the corner of the hallway and stopped briefly in front of the door before pushing it open. Charlie was, of course, still lying on the bed where I left him, but now Alice was also perched up on the bed by his knees.
He gave me a tight smile as I entered, with sorrow evident in eyes.
"Hey, Bella!" Alice chirped.
"Hey, Al. When did you get here?" I sat back down in the chair besides Charlie's bed and took his hand in a silent surrender. He and I locked eyes for a moment, and I knew that all had been forgiven. He was never a man of many words, and I was never one for long, drawn out apologies.
I returned my focus back onto Alice. "Just about fifteen minutes or so." Thankfully, Alice knew better than to ask me of my whereabouts. "I was just telling Charlie here all about our darling brother."
I laughed, just at the mention of Emmett. "Oh, Dad, you're going to love him! He is exactly like Alice, except about three times her size!"
"He looks real intimidating when you first meet him, but I promise he's just a huge softy!"
"He is loud, though." I tried to explain.
"And talks a lot," she added.
"And he kind of has space issues."
"Yeah, he probably won't think twice about lifting you off this bed into a hug."
"And he doesn't really have a filter. Anything can come out of that mouth of his, and he'll just keep on going as if it were completely appropriate."
"If he gets on your nerves, just tell him to shut it." I nodded at her advice.
"He'll probably only stop for a few minutes, though."
"Also, I forewarn you about his jokes. He really isn't that funny."
"But he thinks he's hilarious, so we usually just laugh to make him feel better."
Charlie's head was going back and forth between Alice and me, as we were spouting our descriptions of Em. I really was excited for him to meet Em. If anyone could brighten a mood, it was Emmett.
***
The rest of the day had gone smoothly. Charlie slept shortly after talking with Alice and me. Around four o'clock, Alice left to go pick up Emmett from the airport, while I stayed back with my dad.
"Hey, baby," Edward whispered, as he came into the room quietly.
"Hey, Doc." I smiled, while I put my book away.
"Doc?" He laughed. "I see your dad is rubbing off on you."
"It must be a father-daughter thing." He came over to me and kissed my forehead, gently.
"I'm just going to check his vitals and everything real quick. Are you hungry? Maybe we can go grab something to eat in the cafeteria."
"Yeah, that sounds great."
Edward and I walked, with his hand resting on the small of my back, up to the grand restaurant that was the hospital's café. It smelled of rotten peas and spoiled milk, but it was the only way I got to eat with Edward.
"I'm being stared at!" I exclaimed to him, as I took in all the glares from the women in our general vicinity.
He didn't even look up from his tray, as he laughed. "You're just paranoid, Bella. No one is looking at you."
"Edward, I'm serious. I feel like an episode of Jerry Springer is about to break out."
He finally turned around, and of course, as he did, all the women suddenly became very interested in their food.
"See," he said, as he motioned his arm to the people sitting down. "No one is staring."
I scowled at him and continued down the line to get my food.
"Hi, Dr. Cullen!" The woman behind the register practically fell over herself as she greeted Edward.
"Hello, Charlotte. Are you having a nice day?"
"Oh…well… yeah. Great. My day, I mean. It's great. Going great." A blush rose up in her cheeks as she tried her best to talk to the gorgeous man in front of her. I suddenly felt a lot better at not being the only one who was subjected to his dazzling effects.
He just smiled politely at her as if her reaction was the most normal thing in the world. He reached his hand around to his back pocket to pull out his wallet.
"Oh, no, Dr. Cullen. Don't worry about it!" She winked at him. "It can be our little secret."
Without missing a beat, Edward just smiled and gestured towards me. "That's very generous of you, but I also have this beautiful lady with me."
Charlotte's face fell as she took in my presence for the first time.
I laughed awkwardly and removed some money from my purse. "Edward is just being ridiculous. I already told him lunch was my treat this time." I placed my hand up to his forearm, gently, hoping she would realize that he was indeed with me.
"Bella, what's your favorite movie?" Edward asked me, when we sat down at a table.
"That's a random question."
"I know, but I'm just trying to figure out all the random things about you."
"All right, I'll play along," I said, smiling. "Favorite movie… let's see. Romeo and Juliet."
"Bella, that's a book."
"Actually, it's a play, but thank you, genius. It's also a movie. And Leonardo Di'Caprio just so happened to play Romeo."
"Oh, Romeo, dreamy, dreamy Romeo!" Edward's impression of Juliet was pathetic, and I just sat back and laughed at him.
"Edward, take my advice and stick with your current profession. I don't think acting is in the cards for you."
"Yeah, yeah. You just wait. I'm going to be the next big thing! I'll try to remember all you small people."
"Don't hold your breath."
He and I just sat and smiled at each other for a few moments.
"I have a question," I said.
"Hit me with it, baby."
"Do you read the paper in the morning?"
"Now that is a random question."
"Just trying to figure out all the random things about you, Edward."
"Well, I read it when I have time to. I usually try to sit down and have a cup of coffee, just try to relax, before I start my day."
"Good to know," I said, smiling.
***
Edward walked me back to Charlie's room, again with his hand on the small of my back.
"I'm going to miss you tonight," I said, honestly.
"Same here, love."
We walked into my dad's room then, and I was happy to see that he was awake. I came and sat in my usual chair, and Edward sat across from me.
Without warning, the door swung open and hit the wall. "Honey! I'm home!" a deep voice bellowed.
My body reacted naturally, and without any hesitation, I flew myself out of my chair and into the strong arms of the man who has taken care of me, without question, for the past ten years.
Chapter End Notes:
Oh Bella. What an emotional rollercoaster for her in this chapter. She needs it to sort through her problems though. I wonder how Edward will react to Emmett… hmmmm
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