A/N: Alright. I know this is the second time I'm uploading this chapter today, but I didn't have much time earlier today and didn't have time to write this A/N thingy. The reason why I couldn't wait, was because I noticed it hadn't been updated for like a week or something, and also I had this huge full day test in 'History and Philosophy', so just like before, I felt sorry for myself, and as always, that earns you a chapter :)
Anyways, this chapter is rather long (more than 4000 words), but I don't think it's the longest one so far, and it's definitely not the longest one that will be.
But enough rambling from me, now. Almost. I have two more things to say:
1: This is from Hermione's point of view. And 2: ENJOY :)
We said goodbye to Mrs. Weasly and went over to the counter. I was still a little shaky after both the apparation and telling Mrs. Weasly about my past seven years. That was a large step I hadn't been prepared to take. Not yet, at least. Ginny ordered two butterbeers and we sat down at a table in the corner. I must have looked a little distant, because suddenly Ginny asked me, worry was filling her voice;
"Are you okay, Hermione? I'm sorry. This went bad. I shouldn't have let mum cone with us today".
I looked up at her, I could see the worry in every inch of her face, I shook my head,
"Don't worry. I'm glad she knows. And I'm glad you know that other things I told. I'm just still a little shaky after the apparation and shocked of how much I let your mother know, that's all. You have nothing to apologize for".
She let out a sigh, she apparently was glad I didn't blame her for anything. I think that meant a lot for her. She took another deep breath before she spoke again,
"I'm aware this might be way too much for you today, but I need to ask you something. Remember George's store?"
I just nodded, afraid of where this was leading.
"Do you know how well it has been going?"
I just shook my head; I didn't know anything about it.
"Well, it's been going great. He has more than 50 stores all over Europe and America,"
My eyes grew wide. Wow. That is amazing. I truly was happy for him,
"Well, the thing is, he has been planning to expand the store here in Diagon alley, so that he can fit in all the customers, at this point there is lines all the way over here just to get inside. He's really doing great. Well, the thing is, he needs more employees, and wondered if I knew someone who needed a job. I remember how you said you didn't like your current job that much and I thought I would ask you. Now, he doesn't know I was going to ask you, he doesn't even know I'm talking to you again yet. And I promised I would bring you by today if you were interested. You can say no of course, I just thought I should ask you".
She looked anxious again. I think she hate to ask me things, afraid of what I might say. I took a deep breath, not really sure what to say. If I did this, it would mean that I was back in the wizarding world, a world I had been avoiding as much as possible. But if I didn't do this, I had no right to complain about my current job either, and I had been looking for something different lately, but was I ready for this?
I took another deep breath,
"What will he expect me to do, if I do this?".
Ginny let out a sigh of relief, now that I wasn't going to run anywhere, she was safe again,
"well, first he will think he is dreaming, so he will probably expect you to burst into flames or something, then when he realizes it's real, he will accuse me of pulling a really bad joke on him, then we will have to convince him it's no joke, you really are here again. But in the store I don't think he will expect too much, he will probably place you in the back with mail orders at first, because we will have to tell him about you avoiding the magic world, he would be easy on you, don't worry. He has missed you too much to risk anything, just like me".
I took another deep breath. This was going too fast for me, I wasn't really ready to meet any more old friends, but if I were to be in the back, I think I could survive this, "okay. I'll give it a try. I'm not promising anything yet, but I will give it a try".
Ginny jumped up squealing and ran over to my side of the table to hug me,
"Thank you, Hermione. You have no idea how happy I am right now, and how happy George will be".
I let out a short laugh before I became dead serious again,
"Are you sure he will be okay with it being me? I mean, even you blamed me for Fred's death, for all I know, he does to, you know".
I felt tears were about to come, I really didn't know what the rest of the family was thinking of me, and George had after all been Fred's twin and best friend. Ginny pulled away and went down on her knees in front of me; she was very serious when she spoke,
"Hermione. I was the only one stupid enough to blame you for anything. George almost went through the roof in fury when he found out what I said to you. God knows how many times he tried to make me go see you. He probably was the one who took it the worst, even worse than mum, so don't worry. He will be thrilled to see you again, I promise you".
She gave me a reassuring smile,
"Alright then. I believe you. I'll give it a try".
Ginny stood up from the floor and hugged me again,
"Do you feel up to go and see him now, or would you want to wait a few days or so?"
I just shrugged,
"Might as well get this over with, right?"
She let out a sigh, like she was relieved
"Oh, thank God. I promised I would bring you over today"
Ginny nearly dragged me away from the half filled bottles of butterbeer. Moments later we stood outside George's store. I swallowed a big lump in my throat and took a deep breath before we walked inside. I looked around in the store as we walked through it, I had no words big enough to describe how amazing thus was. I felt dizzy as we walked towards the back of the store. Suddenly we stood outside a door that I guessed leaded to his office. Ginny told me to wait outside while she had a few words with him; I just nodded, to amaze to speak. She knocked and went inside without waiting for an answer. I stood outside for a few minutes, not quite sure what to do, fighting the urge to just run away. I was back in the magic world again, and it seemed like I was staying there, too. The door opened and Ginny was there asking me to come in with her. I obediently followed her inside, not looking up. Somehow my shoes were suddenly very interesting and hard to look away from. I heard George speak, I glanced up and saw he had his back turned to me, looking for something in the shelves behind his desk,
"Hello there, Mrs... Excuse, what's your name? My sister failed to inform me of that tiny bit of information",
I was barely whispering,
"It's miss. I'm Granger, Hermione Granger".
He didn't hear what I said,
"I'm sorry, what were you saying? I didn't hear..."
He went silent. He had just turned around and seen me. He looked to Ginny, then back at me for a few times. His mouth was wide open. I don't think he was able to speak at the moment. After a few moments he regained his voice,
"H-h-hermione? Is that really you?"
I just nodded, not quite sure if it had been the right thing to come here in the first place. Ginny just stood there with her stupid, wide grin. She definitely was pleased with herself. I was about to turn around and walk away, back to my apartment and hide away for ever when George suddenly ran across the room and grabbed my arm,
"Is it really you, Hermione? Or is it just some stupid prank my sister is pulling on me?"
Okay, we skipped the part where he thinks this is a dream and went straight to the theory of a prank,
"It's really me, George. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I'll leave now. Goodbye".
I tried to turn around again, but he pulled me back,
"What are you talking about? If it's really you, you have no idea how great this is. You have no idea how much I have been hoping for this day to come. Christ Hermione. It's so good to see you again. I have missed you so bad",
He pulled me in for a hug. After a few moments he pulled back and held me on an arm lengths distance, taking a good look at me,
"It really is you. Wow. How have you been? Why haven't you come seen me? I'm sure you must have been around here at some point?"
I just looked to the floor. I felt a little guilty now that I knew he didn't blame me,
"Actually I have been living just a 15 minute walk away from the leaky cauldron the past six months. I have just been avoiding the magical part if the world since the war".
He looked shocked at the statement,
"Really? The brightest witch of our age avoiding the magic world? Christ, girl. Why? You could have gotten anything in this world that you wanted. Anything at all,"
He paused for a moment and glared at Ginny,
"Well, almost anything, that is. Stupid ass over there just didn't know her own good, you know".
Ginny glared back at him. I giggled, "I guess you're right",
He looked back at me, and a wide grin appeared on his face,
"Well, I'm just glad she finally pulled her head out of her golden ass and brought you back".
I couldn't help myself, I just had to smile. He patted my shoulder and went back to his desk,
"Now, back to business, Granger. So, you would like to work for me, is that so?"
I repressed a giggle. It was strange hearing him this formal in his speech.
"Yes sir. I would like to try working for you".
He smiled at me; I guess he was just joking about being this formal. Ginny just raised an eyebrow and looked amused,
"Would you like to try a position at our mail order department? I assume you wouldn't feel ready to work with customers yet as you haven't been a part of this world for a while, and you are quite famous",
My eyes widened at this new information. I quickly moved my gaze to Ginny and glared at her,
"Famous? Ginny? What the hell is he talking about?"
Ginny's eyes widened,
"Crap! I'm so sorry, Hermione. I completely forgot to tell you about it. The thought never really occurred to me since it was you and I sort of thought you already knew about it. I am so sorry".
She took a step backwards and raised her hands in defence. I was sure that if I attacked her she wouldn't fight me; she would probably think she deserved it, but I decided to blame Ron. After all he had been writing me letters and he could have mentioned it to me. Besides, I guess I should have guessed it, after all I was a part of the trio who finally ended Voldemort, but I had never really thought of it, I had been living in the muggle world avoiding the magic world for seven years. I sighed,
"It's okay. I guess I should have guessed it. Besides, if anyone should be blamed, it's Ron. He could have said something in one of his letters".
I turned back to George who still looked kind of shocked of me not knowing.
"Yes, Mr. Weasly. I would love to take the position in the mail order department. As you said, haven't been a part of this world for a while, and I'm probably a little famous too, and I don't really feel ready to face all of that just yet. Just coming here today is more than I was sure I could handle".
George seemed to have problems not to laugh,
"Wonderful. Well, since I already know you are the greatest witch of our age, I would like to offer you the opportunity and ask you to come for your first day on Monday".
Oh shoot. Magic. I probably had to do magic at work. I turned my back to George and started to swear under my breath. Ginny was quickly by my side and laid an arm around me,
"Hermione, if you are worried about doing magic, stop it. You were always the brightest one at school, and I am sure things haven't changed. Besides, you will only have to deal with simple magic, like getting things and addressing, so don't worry, you can do this".
I looked at Ginny, I was worried about this, and Ginny spoke again,
"Look, if you think things are that bad, I'll help you tonight, okay?"
I nodded and turned back to face George,
"Alright. I'll be here Monday morning then",
George grinned widely again and rose to shake my hand,
"wonderful, I'm looking forward to be working with you".
I smiled. This had gone better than expected, things were about to get back to where they used to be, and that was good. Right?
"Oh, Ginny. I don't think I'll be able to make it to your game tomorrow, but good luck. I know you can do it, you are the best, after all".
He waved us goodbye as we walked out.
The next minutes went by without me really noticing, I was just thinking about how I had pushed so many limits today. First meeting with Mrs. Weasly, then apparating followed by telling Mrs. Weasly about the past seven years before I had pushed the biggest one, stepping back to the magic world and gotten a job at George's store in Diagon alley. Suddenly we were standing outside my apartment. How the hell did we get here without me noticing? I just shook my head and went inside. I went for the elevator, the backyard might be an apparationpoint, but it was still a muggle building. I pushed the button to get it here. Ginny gave me a sceptical look, clearly wondering why I just stood and waited in front of the wall,
"It's an elevator, Ginny. You have the same thing in the ministry, except this one only goes up and down. Now get here or walk the stairs, my legs don't function enough to walk them right now".
My voice was a little harsh; I intended it to be more like joking. Oh well, I guess we can't have everything we wish for. Ginny just shrugged and came to the elevator. It arrived just a few seconds later and took us to the fifth floor. I unlocked the door and went inside. I walked straight to the couch and fell to it. I was so exhausted. Ginny followed just a few seconds later. She sat down on her knees by the couch and started to stroke my hair,
"I'm sorry Hermione. I put too much pressure on you today, with mum and George and everything. I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry".
She looked genuinely sorry, sitting on the floor apologizing. I sat up on the couch and patted the seat next to ne, signalling for her to sit with me. She rose and sat down on the couch, keeping a few inches between us, just to be careful, not quite sure of how close I wanted her. I moved closer to her, first looking and her, then looking at my hands in my lap before I asked her, with a low voice, barely audible;
"Ginny? Can you please hold me? I just need someone to hold me right now",
She just nodded, putting both her arms around me and cradling me in her arms. It felt good. It actually made me want to kiss her, but I fought the sudden surge. It was too soon yet. I took a deep breath,
"It wasn't you who pressured me; you just asked and made sure I could decline. I was the one who accepted everything. I just pushed my limits way further than I would expect myself to do today. I just feel a little exhausted right now. I mean, you haven't been around for even a week yet, and already I have a new job and I almost feel like a part if your family again. It's just a lot to take in. It all came so sudden, you know. But please don't think this is your fault. I brought this on myself all alone".
Ginny just kept holding me, she didn't say a word for a few minutes, considering what she said next, my best guess is that she was thinking of how to say what she said next,
"You know, Hermione, when you were gone, fighting Voldemort and all that, I always had nightmares about you. About how they brought the news of you being captured and tortured to madness before you got killed. Always something like that. I would wake up several times a night, crying. Then I would fall asleep again, just to have a nightmare like that again. Every night from the night you left until the night you got back. I knew you were safe, then. But of course, those nightmares were only replaced by new nightmares. Nightmares of what I said to you that night. My last year at Hogwarts was awful, I hardly spoke to anyone; I just studied, played quidditch, ate and slept. I had no desire to spend time with people talking about the war; one reason was because I was fighting in the battle of Hogwarts, but mostly because everyone was always talking about you and how the three of you saved the world. You are a hero, you know. You and Harry and Ron. And when I first spoke with other people outside giving quidditch instructions at practice, they always asked me about the three of you since they all knew how I knew you and everything, or they would ask me to tell about the last battle. I hated it, but what I hated the most, was not having you there to help me trough it. I know that is all my fault, I could have pulled my head out of my ass and written back to you, but I guess I was just too angry at you for leaving me for so long and never writing me to let me know you were safe. Well, alive, at least. I guess you never really were safe out there. I know it was selfish, and I always knew you couldn't, even if you wanted to, but still, I kept hoping, wishing. I think that is part if the reason to why I told you off. I wish I never had done that. I keep thinking of all the time we lost, all the time we could have had together, but lost because I'm such an idiot. I am so sorry, Hermione".
She was on the edge of crying now, tears were filling her eyes. I sat up again to face her properly. I lifted my hand and wiped away a tear that had escaped. I pulled her into me and embraced her, soothing her while she silently sobbed into my chest. We sat like that that for a few moments while I decided how to say my next words,
"Ginny, this is all part of the past. Yes, you did hurt me, but you are here now, and that's what matter. We can work trough this together and figure everything out. Yes, it will take time to heal the wounds, but together we can do it. And do you know why?"
She just shook her head, stick sobbing,
"Because we love each other. At least I know I love you, I can't say you love me, but I think you do. At least enough to work this over. You loved me enough to come back, and that's all I need. Yes, this will probably take a lifetime to work through everything, but we can do it. We have each other, and that's all we need, right love?"
She nodded. I suspect she wasn't able to speak at the moment, but he looks in her eyes told ne everything I needed to know, she loves me. Despite everything, she loves me. Moments later she had regained her voice and spoke in a husky tone,
"I love you, Hermione. More than you can ever know. I always loved you, and I always will, no matter what. You are everything I ever needed or wanted. I know I don't deserve your love because of all I said and did to you. I have no right to expect you to love me back. I know I'm lucky to be here with you, to have a chance to fix my mistakes, and I will never forget that, you will always be a reminder of what I did, and I deserve that".
I sighed,
"Ginny love, I'm really happy you are back and all, but don't put yourself down like that. Yes, you hurt me, but it's the past now. What matters is the present. We are together now, and you have all the future to make it up to me".
Ginny looked stunned, and I just had to giggle,
"I'm just joking, Ginny. You don't have to make it up to me. Really. Just promise to never leave me again, alright?"
Ginny laughed trough her tears,
"I promise. I'm here to stay, now. I swear".
I put my forehead to hers and put one of my hands at the back of her head, holding her there. Tears was falling from the both of us now, a mix of happy and sad tears. We looked into each other's eyes. A voice inside my head told me to kiss her, it was the right time. She must have been thinking the same thing, because she moved slightly forward, our lips were almost touching now. Her breath was tickling my lips. This was the right thing to do, I was sure. I closed the distance and we finally met. Her lips felt soft like silk on mine. Her tongue soon touched my lips, asking for entrance, and I willingly gave it to her. Her tongue was careful as she entered my mouth and began to dance with mine. This was the right thing, I was sure. The kiss became more urgent and I could feel one of my hands gripping around fistfuls of hair and the other one was wrapping itself around her waist. Her hands were innocently laid in my lap at first, but all of a sudden I felt them wrapping around me, pulling me tighter to her. I didn't resist at this. This was where I belonged, in her arms, and she in mine, I knew that for sure. She pushed me down to the couch, placing herself on top of me. She let a moan slip trough into my mouth. God, how I had been longing to hear that sound from her. I suddenly realized where this was leading, and I sure as hell weren't ready for that yet. The moment she broke for a second of air, I grabbed my chance before this got completely out of hand. I moaned her name and gently pushed her away before I sat up,
"Ginny, however much I enjoy this, I'm not sure if I'm ready for this yet. Right now my urges tell me to fuck your brains out right here, right now, but my head tells me not to. I want to do this the right way. I don't mean waiting until we are married and all, but just until I'm sure I won't lose you again. I just don't want to get attached to you again, and then loose you once more. That kind of pain, I would never be able to handle. I'm sorry, Ginny. Please don't be angry with me".
I was practically begging her, she looked a little hurt, but I think she agreed to what I was saying.