Gaining Closure

by depressedchildren

The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their world. Age 18, Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a threat in Magical London. 12 years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands, and he now has time to think about his stay in London with the War over. It's time to gain closure.

10. Chapter 9: Reminisces and Searching Pt 4

Disclaimer: I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

Full Summary: The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

Warnings for Chapter: swearing, strongly implied adult themes, fluffiness, OC, denial, heart attack, and parks

A/N: So...I have just been really inspired lately, at least with this fanfic. So I'm updating much sooner than I thought I would. The last section might be a little rough, and for that I apologize. Um...according to Word this was just shy of forty-pages, but the next chapter is not going to be that long. It will be one of the shorter chapters, so...yeah. Also, because I know I'm spending a lot of time in the past, some past conversations and events are summarized, so forgive me if it seems like I'm copping out on that. Anyways, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites ~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present words= memories

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Chapitre neuf: Le déni et la vérité

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Kakashi reached their old complex in no time, as to be expected. What he wasn't expecting, when he entered the lobby, was for someone to scream. Muscles tensed, hand reaching for a hidden kunai, Kakashi turned in the direction of the scream. Shit.

"Ha-Hatake?!" it was the building manager and she recognized him. Kakashi nodded stiffly. "B-but, oh my God," The woman leaned heavily against the wall next to her apartment. "You're supposed to be dead."

"I was taken hostage," Kakashi lied smoothly, "My government believed me dead, especially when they received one of my legs in the mail," the woman paled further and Kakashi gave a grim smile. The lies were rolling off his tongue quick enough. "I'm guessing Lily moved? Did she leave a forwarding address?"

The pale woman hurried to move into her office and motioned Kakashi in. Kakashi made his steps more staggered, as if he had a prosthetic leg. He'd seen many retired ninja who had lost limbs in the war move like he as now. The worst was when a ninja lost his hands because that made him completely useless. With a prosthetic leg or legs, a ninja could still use ninjutsu or genjutsu, and projectiles, but without fingers or hands….career completely over.

The woman riffled around in a filing cabinet, every once in a while she looked over her shoulder. "Y-You finally were set free then?" she asked shakily.

Kakashi nodded slowly, "I spent a about a year recovering, but I wasn't able to send letters." The woman nodded and hummed as she continued to fish around. At last she pulled up a folder that had Lily's name on it and his alias.

"He-here," the woman stuttered and showed Kakashi the folder, "Forwarding address is one # 4 Privet Drive in Little Whinging, Surrey,"

"That's her sister's address," Kakashi murmured and the building manager gave a sad smile.

"She was really distraught when she got that letter, couldn't stand to be in the apartment anymore," the building manager whispered. "She moved in with her sister, from what I remember them talking about, poor girl." The woman shook her head and took the folder back. Kakashi continued to stare blankly down at the table where the folder hand been. He swallowed thickly against the knot in his throat.

Damn it! Why was he feeling that way? Was it guilt, regret, self-hate? He took a shaky breath and stood up with some effort. "Could I—" he coughed, his voice was rough, thick with emotions, "Could I see the flat?" he repeated. The woman nodded slowly.

"Of course, it's actually vacant right now," the woman grabbed the keys for the flat and hurried out of the office.

Kakashi closed his eyes as they entered the elevator, he couldn't protest if he supposedly had a prosthetic leg. The stairs would have been too much if he really did have one. "I'm sorry, you know," the woman spoke up, "Sorry for both of you. We all just trusted the letter,"

Kakashi nodded stiffly, "I understand ma'am. I don't blame anyone. I thought I'd have died by now too," Kakashi tipped his head back against the death trap's walls. It was true, and he told Severus countless times that he'd doubt he'd make it to thirty years old. Kakashi bowed his head and tried to will the burning in his eyes away. He knew it would hurt Lily, he knew that, but damn it! Why was he distraught from thinking of Lily in grief? Because it was needless? Because he had been alive the whole time?

Kakashi took shaky breath after shaky breath, knowing full well that the building manager was giving him a sympathetic look. He had to think of something else, he had to think of Lily being happy — that was it, Lily being happy!

It was the middle of summer, and it was pleasantly warm, though not near as hot as in Konoha. He was made for hotter weather, and at this time of the year, Konoha was usually well above thirty degrees – in the forties if it was really bad. At least the sun was out often enough to make up for the comparatively cool weather, though Kakashi did have to become fast friends with sunscreen. Fortunately, he was never one to hold a tan, so his complexion was almost even now, and he didn't feel quite so embarrassed wearing an A-line sleeveless shirt. Of course, Lily still teased him relentlessly about the "golf tan," as she dubbed his horribly sunburn.

Speaking of Lily, she was panting behind him and about ready to drop. They had only run a five K but she was done. Oh well, they made it to the park at least, and there was some nice shade to train under.

Kakashi slowed down his jog which made Lily sigh in relief. She then fell backwards and laughed tiredly, "Done! Finally!" she panted and used the bottom of her shirt to wipe at the sweat on her face.

"Lily, you know it's bad to do that, right?"

"Shut up 'Kashi, 'm tired!" she mumbled and dropped her shirt back down. Kakashi shook his head and began to do after-run-stretches.

"You do realize we're going to run back to the apartment," Lily groaned and hid her face with her hands. Kakashi chuckled but then stood over Lily with his arm extended out. "Come on Lily, you'll cramp up if you don't stretch. It's bad for the muscles,"

Lily gave him a long suffering sigh before she accepted his hand and was pulled back to her feet.

"We can do some of your exercises here, okay? Then we we'll only have to stretch when we get back to the apartment," Kakashi offered and Lily gave him a tired smile.

"Sure but can we relax first?" Lily asked with a hopeful smile.

"Hmm…" Kakashi put on his best thinking look before dropped the expression and shook his head, "No. You know the drill," Kakashi knew he was being harsh but they had been getting lax in their self-defense sessions. "We warm up the muscles, go through katas, do a cool down stretch and exercise series. I thought we could start adding more cardio now that the weather's nice. Back home I'd usually try to run at least the very least ten K a day," in actually it was double if not triple that, but Lily was already looking at him her mouth open in shock. He could run half way to Iwa without chakra, and still be ready to go, mostly that was from conditioning during the war, but he could still do it just fine without excessive amounts of adrenaline.

"Beast," she grumbled as she finished stretching her legs. "Do I want to know how much you lift if that's your cardio?" Kakashi looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Lift? Lift weights? Why, that seems like a useless exercise?" Truthfully it did. Shinobi were meant to have lithe muscles, subtle but deadly. Chakra made up for what the physical abilities couldn't do. There were muscle bound juggernauts, sure, but they still were more slender than some of these supposed body builders he'd seen advertisements about. Kakashi shuddered. Gai was hands down the strongest man he knew, but he was not much broader than Kakashi because their career preferred faster over stronger, Minato-sensei being a prime example of the value shinobi placed in speed.

Lily stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. "Then how did you get arms like that? Don't tell me it's from push-ups and handstands."

"Partially, and I used to use arm and ankle weights to train in," Kakashi replied simply before flipping into a handstand to do a few pushups, except his shirt fell and obscured his sight. He shifted his weight to one hand and pulled his arm out of the sleeve hole and then shifted to the other side and pulled the rest of his shirt off. "I can see again!" he called cheerfully with an eye-smile while Lily rolled her eyes.

Arm and ankle weights worked on speed as well as strength, which was why most shinobi used them over static weight lifting. Gai was already up to an insane amount of weight on each leg and arm. Kakashi was almost afraid to think how fast he was without those weights.

"You are ridiculous," Lily shook her head in an endearing fashion as she finished up the last of her stretches.

"Mah, you should meet Gai, he can do double the physical work that I do. We called him the Green Beast back in training," Kakashi explained offhandedly. He actually would hate for Lily to meet Gai, he might scar her with his sunset-beach genjutsu and his exclamations of Youth. He shuddered slightly, that was one thing Kakashi was not looking forward to returning to, that and the all the challenges.

"What?" Lily asked amused, she must have caught him shuddering. It was risky mentioning Gai, but since he had already talked about Jiraiya-sama, and Minato-sensei in front of Lily, he figured this couldn't hurt anything.

"He's eccentric to the nth degree," Kakashi replied while walking around on his hands, it worked different muscles than most other arm workouts, and it activated his core because he had to maintain an "upright" posture.

As Kakashi was walking around on his hands, he noted a large black dog looking at them from some shrubs surrounding a tree a good ten meters away. He would have passed the mastiff-sized-dog off as trying to keep cool and thus lying beneath the bushes in the shade of a tree; however, the dog's eyes shone with intelligence, much the way Pakkun's eyes shone. He also couldn't write the dog off because it had been following them for the last half kilometer of their run. He thought maybe it was a stray, and since they were running they caught its attention and maybe it wanted to play, but again…that intelligence. It was like the dog recognized them!

"Oh, eccentric…" Lily drawled and looked at Kakashi like she was hoping for more information.

Kakashi sighed and shook his head, "You really want to know?" he asked slowly. Lily nodded, an amused smile playing on her lips, "You're going to regret it, you know," Kakashi teased before flipping back onto his feet and beginning to stretch his arms. "Gai likes wearing green spandex, and only green spandex," Lily's eyes widened at the description and she paled slightly.

"I see why you called him the Green Beast, then," Lily sounded a little faint, perhaps at the unadulterated horror of a man wearing bright, skin-tight clothes. Of course, Gai was a ninja and thus had a great physique, but it was best to leave a little to the imagination, rather than nothing.

"Oh that's not the half of it," Lily paled further, Kakashi continued on with a smirk "He goes on literal rants about the power of youth, and uses a whole hell of a lot of flowery imagery," Lily shuddered, "And to top it off, he has titled himself my Eternal Rival." Lily looked confused, but Kakashi quickly explained what he meant. "He heard I was a prodigy from the Generals and wanted to see how well he matched up to me. Since the day we met, he's challenged me in everything from arm-wrestling to who can stay quiet the longest."

"Oh my god," Lily laughed as she shook her head in disbelief, "that sounds mortifying but hilarious."

"Mah, Lily don't laugh, it's very serious," Lily just laughed harder and Kakashi chuckled as well.

"I'm sorry 'Kashi, that's just…" she hopped to her feet grabbed either side of his face, "Oh, you poor baby," she teased and gave him a peck on the lips. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and gave a weak laugh.

Lily then turned and grabbed Kakashi's shirt, "Now put this back on so we can start," Kakashi accepted the garment but looked a Lily with a quirked eyebrow.

"I've sparred without my shirt before," Kakashi stated slowly, Lily looked away sharply. She was blushing and had her arms over her chest.

"I know," she replied slowly, astutely looking away from him.

Kakashi furrowed his brow in confusion when he noted there were a few bystanders looking at him intently. Female bystanders, that is. Kakashi couldn't hold back his laughter as he put back on his shirt. Lily turned to look at him sharply, her face still flushed slightly.

"What?!" she snapped, embarrassment clear.

"Aww, was Lily-chan jealous that those women were staring?" Kakashi asked in his most sickeningly sweet voice. She blushed brighter.

"Sh-shut up 'Kashi" she stuttered and gave him a half-hearted glare, "and what does chan mean?"

Kakashi sobered and shrugged, Lily raised both of her eyebrows and gave him an expectant look. "Chan is an honorific used for girls, and children you know well. Unless you're familiar with someone or trying to be vulgar, you use an honorific," Kakashi explained quickly but Lily was now frowning.

"So…let me get this straight. Grown men will call their girlfriends or wives by this chan honorific? Even though they're women, not girls?" Lily looked annoyed and Kakashi quickly deduced why.

"Mah! Lily, it's not like that!" Kakashi rushed out while waving his hands back in froth, and wincing at her incredulous look, "I don't usually call women chan because I've never been close enough to any to feel comfortable using that honorific, even teasingly. It's an endearing honorific, not necessarily derogatory," that placated her slightly, "Besides, married people don't necessarily address each other with honorifics, maybe koi or just adding husband or wife to the end of the name…"

Kakashi scratched his cheek in thought. He wasn't sure what married people called each other, not really. His mother died before he had his first breath and his father never remarried. Minato-sensei just called Kushina-san chan or koi he supposed, and she often used the same exact honorifics given to her. He laughed a little at the memory.

"What?" Lily asked with a gentle smile on her face again, her former anger placated by his explanation.

"Oh, Minato-sensei got married to this very interesting woman who would call him Minato-chan or Minato-koi just as often as she called him Minato-baka or Minato-kun," Kakashi chuckled a little more while Lily looked at him confused.

"Wait…what are baka, kun, and koi? Also, why would she call him chan?"

"Start your first kata and I'll explain," Kakashi stated, remembering they were going to go through their usual training exercises. Either Lily was genuinely interested, or she wanted to get out of training by distracting him with these questions; knowing her, it was both. Lily groaned and moved a little bit away from Kakashi. She got into the academy stance and started with the two punches and kick combination.

"Baka means idiot, kun you use for guys if they're familiar to you and not much older than you, though you can use it for girls too, but it's not that common. Um… koi means love, though Kushina-san only used that when she was really pissed off with Minato-sensei," Kakashi chuckled at the memory of a pregnant Kushina stalking toward her cowering husband.

"What?!" Lily asked as she looked over at him after finishing her last set of the sequence. She would be moving into a sequence starting with an uppercut, followed by a roundhouse kick, and ending with a crouched sweeping kick.

"Yeah, Kushina-san was very interesting. She had a very short fuse and a mischievous streak that could span a continent," Kakashi chuckled again along with Lily. "She was terrifying in a big sister sort of way," Kakashi mumbled, and Lily paused in her sequence.

"'Kashi?" he gave her an eye-smile which just made her cross her arms over her chest and give him a hard look. "I thought we went through this," she stated in exasperation, "'Kashi, let me support you," she approached him and put her hands on his arms. "I know you miss them. They died in the war too, right?" Kakashi nodded slowly and Lily gave him a small sad smile.

"It might be painful, but maybe talking about those you lost will make it easier to cope with their loss?" She cupped his cheek again and Kakashi closed his eyes. "Every time I got to talk about…about my mother with you helped me…" Kakashi sighed and ducked his head down to press his forehead against hers.

"I know Lily, but I've kept it all bottled for so long…" Kakashi swallowed thickly, "Maybe another time." She was frowning, clearly disappointed but Kakashi ducked his head down to whisper into her ear, "I have a lot of bottled up, painful emotions, and unloading them in a public park is not something I want to do. I promise Lily," Kakashi paused for a moment, "Later I'll tell you, okay?"

She nodded slowly as he stepped backwards. "Do you want to spar then?" Lily knew him so well; training was his favorite coping method. Kakashi eye-smiled and nodded his head, this time, though, his eye-smile as not a defense mechanism and Lily seemed to catch onto that. She laughed a little and pulled on his arms until they were further away from the path and in an open space.

Kakashi backed up a few spaces and got into a ready stance. Lily backed up a ways and shifted her weight onto her toes. The Jounin couldn't help but grin, sparring with Severus really had helped Lily improve in her speed and she had modified the academy taijutsu to accommodate her newfound speed.

Kakashi parried her first punch, blocked the second, and grappled her leg when she kicked. She hopped for a moment before punching him in the face…well she tried to punch him in the face. Kakashi ducked out of the way and let go of Lily's foot in the process. She rushed him and tired another kick before dropping down to sweep out his feet. He flipped over the kick easily. Her form was perfect. Kakashi couldn't help but feel pride at her progress. Maybe he would be a good teacher.

Lily remained in her crouch, grinning like a feral cat. "Why do you always have to dodge?!" Lily complained, while strategizing her next move.

"Because you'll give me bruises!" Kakashi jokingly whined in return. She rushed him again. He parried each attack, much to her frustration, and then he blocked her last punch. He shifted his arm to grip her arm as he spun to the side to end behind her with her arm bent awkwardly behind her.

She kicked out at him, and unless he wanted to dislocate her arm or break it, he had to let go and jump backwards. "You know, a real opponent would have broken your arm and then pushed you do the ground."

Lily sighed in frustration as she rubbed at her shoulder. "Yeah, I realized that," she winced slightly at rolled her shoulder back. Kakashi frowned, he knew he didn't put that much pressure on the shoulder, but now he was concerned. Perhaps he didn't watch his own strength and actually hurt her!

"Lily let me see," he started to reach out when he noticed Lily's wince turn into a mischievous grin. By then it was too late to dodge, unless he wanted to reveal he was a ninja. Lily flipped him over her body and quickly straddled him while pinning his arms to either side.

"What was that tale called? Oh I remember, the boy who cried wolf, right?" Kakashi asked while Lily just stuck her tongue out at him.

"You'd know if you hurt me," she drawled while rolling her eyes, "I beat you measure every bit of force you use to make sure I don't get so much as a bruise," Lily practically sang before kissing Kakashi on the nose. "It's your fault for being a worrywart," she teased before releasing his arms to kiss him more fully on the lips.

Kakashi chuckled but returned the kiss. It was the classic maneuver she used, and with kunoichi it had deadly results. He was surprisingly proud of her. Lily knew she couldn't land a hit on him so she manipulated the playing field, so to speak, so that she could. She was brilliant.

When she pulled back, Lily wore a thoughtful look. She rested her hands against his chest, "'Kashi, you never explained why Kushina called her husband chan?"

Kakashi chuckled and sat up, which cause Lily to fall into his lap, not that she seemed to care. She just wrapped her arms around his neck. He set his hands on her hips.

"Well…" Kakashi started with a sheepish grin, "It was partly to be insulting and partly to be an endearment. They knew each other since they were eight, though even that is not quite appropriate," Kakashi frowned in thought, how could he explain it. "Young children call other children chan to be cute and sometimes it sticks. So…you could call Mr. Snape chan if you wanted to because you were such close childhood friends.

"Though, when I think about it, Kushina-san was probably just being teasing because she had hated Minato-sensei until they were in their teens, and she loved teasing him," Lily laughed with him and they sat there for a while in companionable silence until Kakashi heard a growl.

He had kept an eye on the dog all throughout the spar and prior. The dog seemed to understand human speech better than any animal should unless it was a summons. He was half tempted to use a genjutsu release, but Kakashi saw no telltale shimmer of the henge no jutsu. Maybe it was a stray summons, it was certainly big enough and vicious enough to be one.

Lily was tense in his arms and recognition flashed across her face as she looked at the big dog.

"Mah, Lily, nothing to be afraid of!" he eye-smiled and Lily looked at him before turning back to the dog.

"It might be a stray," she lied; he could hear it in her voice. She recognized this dog and she was more annoyed and angry with it than scared. The dog was also snarling at Kakashi, and Kakashi alone. Lily stood up slowly and Kakashi followed her.

"Mah," Kakashi waved his hand dismissively. "His coat's too nice to be a stray," he approached the snarling dog slowly, much to Lily's dismay.

"Takashi! Get away from it."

Kakashi just gave her an eye-smile over his shoulder. "I had six dogs back in Japan, all trained to kill. I know how to handle dogs, especially mastiff sized ones," Lily looked uncertain and it only affirmed Kakashi's belief that this dog was not what it seemed.

The dog had growled deep in its throat when he said he could handle dogs, hmm… curious. Before the dog could react, Kakashi was holding it by the scruff of its neck, and it gave a startled yelp. He even started to pull the dog off the ground when it tried to snap at him. He looked the dog dead in the eye, those intelligent eyes, "I know you're smart dog, I bet you could talk if you had the right parts," he replied evenly. The dog looked afraid for a moment.

"So…either you snap at me again and we haul you to animal control, or you can get a nice scalp massage and go on your merry way?" Kakashi gave the dog another eye-smile before he felt it lower its hackles and sit plaintively before Kakashi. Kakashi grinned and began the promised scalp massage. Pakkun always said he gave the best ear scratches. The dog's eyes practically rolled backwards while its tail began to wag.

Lily burst into laughter and fell to the ground behind him. The dog growled at the laughter but whined when Kakashi stopped scratching behind the ear. Lily just laughed louder, and Kakashi decided to ignore her.

"Oh ignore her," Kakashi addressed the dog as he continued the scalp massage. "Smart dogs like you and Pakkun can ignore silly humans who laugh for no apparent reason,"

Lily promptly tried to sober up, "S-sorry," she gasped for air as she tried to fight down her laughter, "It's just that…" she faltered and tried again, her face neutral now, "It looked like a Grim, you know, a dog of death," she supplied and Kakashi hummed. She was telling the truth but not all of the truth.

"So who was Pakkun?" Lily asked after a while. The dog had its eyes closed as it leaned into the ear scratching.

"Oh, my pug, he was the first dog I ever had, and I swear," Kakashi paused for emphasis while he looked over at Lily, "He could talk, he's that smart" Lily smiled at him.

"Is that so?" she mused, before sobering. "Do you miss them, your six dogs?" Kakashi smiled sadly and nodded.

"Yeah, though I admit I don't miss waking up with a mastiff jumping on me or all the drool." He really did not miss the drool, or wrestling them together for a bath. They might be summons, but they didn't have a Mt Myoboku to go to, they had his apartment.

Lily was chuckling, "I'd imagine you wouldn't miss that," she paused, "What did you mean they were trained to kill?" she had her brow furrowed and Kakashi sighed. He stopped rubbing the Grim, according to Lily, but the dog continued to sit in front of them. In fact, the dog seemed to be sizing Kakashi up, appraising the Jounin.

"They're military dogs, still used on missions from time to time. Pakkun's my favorite of course," Kakashi eye-smiled again and Lily shook her head.

"I guess it makes sense that you'd be a dog person," she mumbled, "You know," Lily started with a small smile, "we used to have a dog, Daisy was her name." Lily smile fell as she continued, "But she tried jumping over the backyard fence and her collar got caught," Lily sighed and looked down sadly.

Kakashi grimaced sympathetically while the Grim whined. Lily shook her head and smiled coyly. She bumped shoulders with him and began to speak as nonchalantly as possible, "You miss having a dog, I miss having a dog…" she trailed off and bumped into his shoulder again.

"Are you suggesting we get a dog?" Kakashi asked smiling slightly at Lily's "subtlety."

"That or you can see if Pakkun could be shipped over here," that could be possible, but Kakashi used to him as a messenger between here and Konoha. She'd wonder where he went, and there as always the risk that Pakkun might slip up and speak. Not to mention, Pakkun was supposed to stay in the Elemental Lands just in case his mission had to end prematurely. Sure he could have another summon do that, but Pakkun really was the best choice.

"He's military property."

"Aww, that's too bad," she took all of one second to get over her disappointment before clasping her hands together and grinning ear to ear, "So…can we get a dog? My apartment allows pets, so long as the pet's small and we can clean up after it."

Lily's hopeful look was too much, Kakashi fell back to lie on the ground and laughed loudly. He nodded his head, unable to speak. Lily jumped up and did a fist pump before moving to straddle him again. "We are going to look for a dog tomorrow, it's decided!" Kakashi just laughed louder. The Grim even looked like it was laughing.

Kakashi still wasn't sure what exactly was up with that dog, but now Kakashi felt better in control of his emotions after remembering that encounter. Maybe it was a summon or an actual Grim, Kakashi wasn't sure.

The building manager opened the door to the flat for him, "I'll just be back down in the office, Mr. Hatake, take your time." Kakashi nodded absentmindedly and entered the flat.

It was empty but he could see it like it was yesterday, fully furnished with Lily's things and that couch he bought with part of his stipend. Their dog, Crow, had one of her sleeping pillows over in that corner near the record player. Crow was a sweet little thing, not useful in shinobi society, but here she made a good pet. She was a Welsh terrier they found at the animal shelter. Lily told him about a larger version of Crow called an Airedale, which apparently was used for hunting bears and lions. Now that dog would be useful in the Elemental Lands.

Crow as still a puppy when they got her; she had brown fur around her mouth, paws, and eyes while the rest of her was black. That was why they named her Crow, well, besides the fact that Kakashi vetoed all feminine names. He had always had warrior dogs, and so he refused to have some flowery-named dog. Kakashi smiled softly.

Crow loved sleeping on them when either of them were reading. Kakashi usually read sprawled out on the crouch while Lily read curled up on her chair. It was nice having the little dog in the house. It gave them something to play with when bored, and she also gave them an excuse to go walking more. He wondered what Lily did with her. If she couldn't stand to stay here, what happened to Crow? Was she sent back to the animal shelter, did she move with Lily?

The one picture he took with him when he left was of Lily holding puppy Crow up to the camera. Kakashi closed his eyes and put a hand against the wall. Gods, what happened to Lily? He knew better than to hope she was still here, he knew better than to hope that she took the death notice well. But damn!

He looked to their bedroom but had to turn away quickly, overwhelmed. No, he didn't want to think about that, but his mind was already going there.

Lily came into the room braiding her hair. She always wore a t-shirt and pajama shorts to bed. Kakashi smiled up at her from his book. Crow was sleeping on his stomach, like usual.

"'Kashi, you need to stop letting her into the bed," Lily scooped the small dog up and set her on the pillow they set up for her in their room. They left the doors open so she could wander about and get water during the night. Kakashi had her trained well; she knew not to get on the furniture unless one of them was there. She was also house-trained within the first of getting her.

"But Lily," Kakashi whined, "she likes sleeping up here."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Only because you let her." Crow looked up at them from her corner before she left the room. Kakashi chuckled along with Lily who got under the covers. Kakashi put his book away and turned to look at Lily who was staring at him.

She was sitting against the headboard a soft smile adorning her features. One hand found its way to Kakashi's hair. He closed his eyes at the feel of her soft fingers running through his hair and pressing against his scalp. They'd been together seven months, officially living together almost four months. It felt like years, but in a good way. They knew each other, they had a routine…

Summer was coming to an end, but they still had a few more weeks until Lily had to go off and teach ten-year-olds. She had the whole semester planned out already but she still ran over her teaching notes. It was adorable how she'd lose herself in her plans and then mutter what ifs and begin planning for them. She was so dedicated.

Kakashi opened his eyes when he felt Lily shift to kiss him. They were laying on their sides now. He brought his hand up to her arm while her hand moved to cup his jaw. In the last few months he had opened up and talked about Minato-sensei, Kushina-san, Rin, and Obito. He talked about what they were like, what they liked to do. He also told her modified versions of how they died in the war. Kushina and Minato died to protect the village, Rin died when they were escaping the cave-in that killed Obito.

He didn't say it all at once, but bit by bit. One day he'd talk about Minato-sensei, the next he'd mention something about Obito. It was usually while they were lounging around or walking around the city with Crow – but only if it was a lighter story. He passed these talks off as casual conversations, but he was only able to do so because he had Lily beside him to support him like she always said she would. Her hand would squeeze his own when it was too difficult to speak further about them, and if they were at home she would lay down beside him, usually on the couch. He hadn't talked about his father since that lunch he made for her when they were still getting to know each other. Kakashi still felt too guilty and betrayed to talk about him, but maybe soon he could.

And maybe soon he would confess to a better representation of his job in the military. She knew he had killed someone before, but he could confess to espionage along with assassinations. She deserved to know because…because he loved her.

He loved Lily, he could admit it to himself but he was still unable to say it out loud to her. She knew he loved her, and she didn't push him to say it – likely because she understood all the people he loved had died. She was so understanding and patient, no other words described her quite as well. How was it that he, of all people, got to be with her? Kakashi had never counted himself lucky; even when others said he was lucky to be alive, he said he was cursed. Yet here he was with Lily. Only here he could count himself lucky to have met so understanding and patient a person.

He knew she wanted to have sex, he found the condoms a month ago, but she hadn't brought it up, not once. Even when they made out and things became too much for Kakashi, so that he had to hastily retract himself from her. She never pushed him to consummate their relationship. How could he be with her, this wonderfully understanding woman?

Kakashi deepened the kiss, surprising Lily since she usually had to initiate that. She was pleased with the surprise though, if the noise she made was any indication. His hand slid down to her hip, he felt her shudder beneath his fingertips.

He loved her, and he was sick of his past hindering him from enjoying the present. Yes, he would always mourn and hate himself for what he did to Rin and Obito, but he couldn't let it stop him from experiencing life. Just like he couldn't let the past women he slept with keep him from being with Lily, being one with her.

He'd like to forget they ever happened, but he knew that was impossible. However, what he could do, he supposed, was experience genuine intercourse to replace all the times he had been ordered. What he had with Lily was real. He had told her things he never told anyone before and likely would never tell again. She was understanding, patient, and all around just too good for him.

Kakashi's thumb began to rub circles against her hipbone, idly drawing the symbol of Konoha, while he began to kiss her neck. Lily gasped and tilted her head to give him more access. Her hand moved from his jaw into his hair. He wouldn't let the past inhibit him, he wouldn't. He loved Lily, and against her neck he mumbled just that but in Japanese.

His hand was shaking even as he let if move of its own accord. Gentle, seeking, trembling in nervousness.

"Ka-Kashi," Lily gasped, she had stuttered over his nickname as air caught in her throat, and so restarted the abbreviation. But that sealed it for Kakashi. He could pretend she said his real name, that there were no aliases to hide behind. She was his witch and he was her shinobi, her Kakashi – not 'Kashi or Takashi, but Kakashi.

Later, with Lily curled up against his chest; she asked him what he knew she was wondering the whole time, "What changed?" her voice was still a little breathy.

"You've been so patient with me, so understanding…not many women would have done as you have."

"You know, that's usually what the girl says," Lily joked and Kakashi gave a short laugh in return.

"Not the women I know, they'd have sooner chained me to the bed after slipping me a-well, I guess you know what I'm saying," Kakashi gave a week laugh and Lily looked at him concerned. "I just…I can't let the past inhibit me anymore. What we have is…is real," Kakashi looked away, thoroughly embarrassed to be talking about this, "and I'm hoping that will win out over all the times I've been ordered, does that make sense?"

Lily smiled slightly and kissed his jaw, "Yeah, 'Kashi, it does."

Kakashi turned back to look at Lily and smiled with her. They lay there in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Lily spoke again, "What kind of women do you know?!" she asked slightly appalled.

Kakashi chuckled, "Let's just say eccentric and deadly, and leave it at that," he gave her an eye-smile which only earned him an eye roll and a shake of the head. "I'm serious, they're deadly, and do you know how many would kill to see under my mask like you have?"

Lily just raised an eyebrow before smiling and hugging him closer, "I guess I did get under your mask, hmm?"

Kakashi returned the hug, chuckling slightly, "Well, yes you have, but I was referring to a literal mask." Lily leaned up on her arm to look down at him incredulously. Kakashi gave a sheepish smile, "I never told you I usually wear a mask?"

Lily blinked a few times, before shaking her head, "No, but now that I think about it, the weird way you'd wear your scarves makes sense now."

Kakashi laughed with Lily who settled back down. "Do you want to tell me why you usually wear masks?"

Kakashi dipped his head down and kissed the top of Lily's head, "Not tonight, how about tomorrow? I promise, tomorrow. I'm emotionally drained enough as is." Lily nodded before tilting her head back to kiss him on the lips.

"Okay, tomorrow."

He had to get out of here. Kakashi spun around and hurried to the door and closed it behind as quickly yet quietly as he could. He then flew down the hall to the stairs, screw his back story, he needed to get out of here. Once in the stairwell, he noted no one was in it, so he dropped down the middle of it, and caught himself on the main floor's railing before he pulled himself over handrail. He then hurried out of the stairwell and through the lobby. The building manager was in her office with the door open, she waved goodbye to him and he just nodded. He needed to get out of here.

Gods, he loved Lily so much and he had hurt her, hurt her badly when the death notice came. She was so patient and good to him, but he had to turn around and hurt like this. Maybe it was for the best, maybe it wasn't. He closed his eyes tightly as he made his way down the street in the general direction of Surrey. He'd probably make it there by late afternoon. This time he wouldn't get caught, he couldn't. Kakashi used a mild genjutsu to divert people's attention from him as he hurried through the streets toward Little Whinging.

He forced himself to not think about Lily and Crow. He pushed all the memories of Lily talking about her class to the back of his mind, and all the times they took Crow on walks in the park. He locked away all memories of him and Lily making love, and all the times they danced in their apartment with Crow underfoot. He refused to recall all the meetings he had with Severus about what he learned from the Death Eaters and the times they just sat to talk about simple things. The times he played chess with his best friends and the books the three of them would read and later discuss. He made himself forget the first movie he watched or the fact that he made out with Lily under the stars afterwards.

He was a selfish bastard, it would be better that he really was dead. And so many times he had been so close, but … but he never got to, not even in the last war. Not even when he faced down with Obito alongside Naruto and Gai. The betrayal he felt when Kakashi realized Obito had never been dead, oh Gods… he did just that to Lily! Sure he didn't turn around on all he stood for and nearly destroy the world, but left her thinking he was dead.

He didn't know how long he had been running, moving in a blur between trees and buildings, scaling walls and hopping from one rooftop to the next like it was some strange concrete forest. He pushed everything back to the place he had originally kept the memories so they wouldn't distract him on his missions. He shoved the memory of their conversation about his father and what jobs Kakashi did for the "Japanese Government," all the way back into that dark corner of his mind he kept tightly locked. He pushed himself to run faster and faster, as if he literally outrun the memories.

Kakashi came to stop at last, panting heavily and stubbornly refusing to believe that anything but sweat was dripping from his face. He bent over his knees as he tried to breathe against the knot in his throat, and looked around through his blurred vision. Magnolia Crescent, that was near Petunia and Vernon's house. He wiped at the sweat, because he refused to believe it was anything else, and got his breathing under control. Lily was likely over him now; she was probably happily married with kids and still teaching at that school.

That had to be it. Nodding his head, Kakashi looked around before using henge to appear like a squirrel. He skittered about until he reached # 4 Privet Drive and then dove into the fenced backyard. Of course this was a mistake. Kakashi jumped onto the property fence when a dog barked at him. He looked over and nearly fell off the fence.

Crow! She was wagging her tail like a puppy, though it was clear she was on her last legs. She barked at him almost happily, though Kakashi believed that it was because he looked like a squirrel and she wanted to "play" with him like she "played" with the pigeons in the park. Lily always scolded him for letting her get her teeth on them, now he regretted being so indulgent with her as a puppy. If he was touched by her the illusion would be broken.

Kakashi looked at the rest of the yard. Two children were playing some game, but they were pulled from whatever they were doing by Crow's barking.

"What's gotten into Crow?" a rather corpulent blonde boy asked the girl beside him, who happened to look like she was seven or so years old.

"I dunno?" the younger one responded, "I'll go get Mum!" the girl then raced back toward the house. Kakashi's henge appeared to scamper across the fence and then climb up the tree in the backyard. Really Kakashi just balanced his way across the fence and then wall-walked up to a branch. Crow followed behind him, wagging her tail happily. For an old dog she was certainly energetic.

"Heather!" that sounded like Petunia Evans…well she was Dursley but he first knew her as Evans. "You know I'm cooking for you brother and cousin's going away dinner."

"But Crow's acting up!" the little girl protested despite her mother's clear annoyance.

Cousin? Lily's child or Marge's child? Somehow he doubted the cousin in question was Marge's child. Why was Lily's child here, was Lily going to be here too?

Anxiety clenched Kakashi's chest. He'd see Lily…he'd get to see her at last. He would finally get to know if she was happy, if whoever she married was treating her right. He was both appalled yet thrilled to know which case it was. To see her after all these years…it would be painful but good at the same time. He would finally have closure. And if she was happy, then perhaps he could forgive himself for not forcing the Hokage to let her come to Konoha.

Petunia stepped outside with her daughter beside her. Fortunately the girl was more Evans than Dursley; her face was a little long but not quite as long as her mother's. She also happened to have a rather long neck, but at least the rest of her was pleasant and proportional. She had curly, reddish-blonde hair, and blue-green, almond-shaped eyes. Her bone-structure was that of an Evans, unlike her brother who was quite clearly a Dursley. The poor boy was large, not Akimichi large but large enough that he was likely being made fun of at school. He also had a pink pigmentation that Vernon sported, though fortunately his neck was proportional.

"Now what's gotten into Crow?" Petunia muttered to herself as she wiped her hands off on the apron she was wearing. She had a one or two wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, but otherwise looked the same.

"She was barking at the squirrel," the boy spoke up, pointing straight at Kakashi.

"She was, was she?" Petunia was frowning, "She hasn't chased a squirrel in seven years," the woman shook her head, "Crow, come here!" she called and patted her legs.

The terrier turned from Kakashi and looked toward Petunia before looking back up at Kakashi and wagging her tail. She sat down and looked up at him patiently. What the hell?! She was hardly even one when he left; she couldn't recognize his scent, could she? Maybe she smelled his ninkin? That had to be it.

"Dudley," Petunia called the boy, "Would run in and get the dog biscuits for Mummy?" the boy flushed slightly at the cooing but hurried inside.

"Mummy?" the girl, Heather, tugged on Petunia's dress, "I get to help ice the cake, right?" Petunia nodded and patted the girl on the head.

"Of course, Sweetums," Petunia kissed the girl on the forehead, "Why don't you go inside and wash your hands, hmm? Then you and Dudley can set the table, alright?" the girl nodded her head and hurried inside.

Dudley returned at that moment with a box of dog treats which he handed to his mother. Petunia was still eyeing Crow with pursed lips. She turned her attention back to her son. "Thank you Duddykins," she cooed as she ruffled the boy's hair, why don't wash your hands and help Heather with setting the table, you know how clumsy she is," Petunia shook her head in an endearing way before turning back to Crow and shaking the box of dog treats. Dudley hurried off to help his sister.

Crow's attention turned to Petunia at the rattling of the treats. She then scampered over to the blonde woman. "Sit," she called and the dog sat, "Jump" the dog jumped and then stood up on her hind legs. "Very good, Crow, very good!" Petunia exclaimed as she gave the dog a treat, "Now come with me, that's a good girl," Petunia encouraged the dog with the treats in her hand; Crow happily followed wagging her tail.

Once the dog was inside, Kakashi felt it safe to reposition himself near the kitchen window. The ledge was wide and sturdy enough that he could crouch on it while his henge appeared to just be sitting there grooming itself, the way squirrels did, as he watched the family inside.

The siblings were joking together as they set the table and Petunia was smiling happily as she oversaw what they were doing.

Kakashi found himself smiling. He always knew Petunia would be a good mother. She was almost obsessively concerned about her unborn child when he left. He could still remember the eventful night Petunia told them…

It was Lily's first week of school and to celebrate having her own class to teach, Petunia invited them to dinner. Lily brought a bottle of some wine he didn't care to remember since he wouldn't be partaking in it, and he brought along some cheese because Lily told him they had to bring something.

Vernon opened the door smiling broadly, but his smile quickly fell. Lily and Kakashi's greeting faltered at the change in the man's expression. Kakashi and Lily began to fidget in the doorway as Vernon eyed them, seeming to judge the distance between them. "You two were safe right?" he asked with a frown.

It took a moment for the man's words to register, and Kakashi still had not fully registered what the man had said until Lily began to splutter indignantly.

"V-Vernon!"

"Vernon, was that Lily?" Petunia called from within the house.

"Yes," he called back as he ushered them inside.

"What the hell?" Lily asked sharply, but Vernon just shook his head as he took their contributions to the dinner.

"I'm not sure I'm following," Kakashi mumbled, which caused Lily to blush for some reason. Really what was Vernon implying?

Vernon chuckled as he made his way into the kitchen where Petunia was putting the finishing touches to the before dinner tray, as Kakashi chose to call it. He could smell some type of fish being baked in the oven along with something garlic, but other than that he wasn't sure what would be for dinner. Petunia looked up from her work, and like Vernon, her smile faltered and her eyes widened.

"Tunney, what is it?" Lily asked nervously, fidgeting against Kakashi's side since he had wrapped his arm around her when they came into kitchen.

"You know Dad's going to be here, right?" Petunia asked sharply, for some reason worried. Lily nodded, but Petunia just shook her head, "You two are so obvious!" she exclaimed.

"Okay, I'm really not following," Kakashi spoke up, now thoroughly confused and annoyed. What the hell were they talking about?

Vernon sighed heavily and sat down at the table, "Look, it's obvious something happened that made you two much closer than you used to me, do you catch my drift?"

Kakashi just stared at the man with his mouth partially open, his brain didn't want to process what Vernon was implying but based Lily's bright red face she had already processed it. "You can tell?" she asked weakly and covered her face in her hands. She could have said nothing and their suspicions wouldn't have been confirmed. There could be any number of reasons for their apparent closeness, Vernon and Petunia hadn't seen them together in over a month and there had been other leaps in their relationship than just sex.

"Yes, just tell me you two have been safe?" Petunia looked worried for Lily, "I still remember when Dad found out Vernon and I didn't follow his rules. I swear he was about to pop a blood vessel!" Petunia was wringing her hands anxiously. "You know he threatened to disown me if I got pregnant before I was married?"

Kakashi's brain finally caught up fully with the situation, and so he began to wave his arms frantically across his body while shaking his head, "N-Now, wait just a minute, there could be another reason," all eyes were on him, and he knew his face was likely red. "You two haven't seen us together in over a month and I highly doubt either of you are adept at reading other people, so you couldn't be reading our sexual tension. So what you're seeing as a new closeness could be that we've opened up more to each other in the past month." Kakashi took a deep breath after giving his reasoning and waited for the married couple to speak.

Vernon looked like he was about to make a lewd comment, likely in reference to the last thing Kakashi said, when Lily spoke, "What do you mean they can't read sexual tension?"

"Lily," Kakashi deadpanned, "Our tension, though there, was subtle to bystanders. Mr. Snape was the only one to notice it, and they don't have Mr. Snape's observation skills, now do they?" Lily hummed before conceding to his point.

"Wait, what?" Petunia was looking between them in confusion. "What do you know about reading people? Are you some expert on it?"

"Can I tell them?" Lily asked and Kakashi grimaced before nodding slowly.

"Vernon you were right before," Lily began, causing Vernon to start, "'Kashi does do espionage, just not against other countries, usually," Lily ended lamely while both Dursley's began to splutter, likely in indignation.

"Mah, I didn't mean to deceive, but at the time Lily was just a friend, so she wasn't in the need-to-know," this seemed to placate Vernon but piss off Petunia, "I'm in the crime syndicate division. I infiltrate syndicates and take them down from the inside, or at least scrounge up enough information to get them solidly behind bars. It's a dangerous field and I have had targets on me in the past, which is why I'm hesitant to talk about what I really do."

Lily hurriedly added to his explanation "And he hasn't had a target on him for over a year now, so I'm safe. Besides, Kakashi's very capable of protecting both of us."

Which was true, he could protect both of them very easily, and with Lily being a witch, she could protect herself well too. As for the crime syndicate division, that was about as close to the truth as he could get. The majority of his infiltration/assassination missions were infiltrating some crime organization; of course he had other missions since his team died, but those were his most common.

Since confiding in Lily about his modified childhood, and admitting he had killed someone before, it had seemed natural to confess that he was in not so innocent special operations. She knew the worst of it before he even brought it up, so she took it in stride, which was miracle, though shouldn't have been too surprising consider how she had handled everything else he told her.

He stayed truthful in his modifications. It was usually crime bosses he took out, and they were usually smuggling drugs or people around the outskirts of Konoha. ANBU often stepped in because, even though the organizations' offenses were inexcusable, the tyrants who ran those operations usually gave monetary support to the countries their shady businesses affected. No ninja wanted a crime boss to tie the misfortune of another syndicate to their own nation. If bosses did start making those connections, then there went monetary support, and more people would be taken from their country to be sold. It was an amoral business, like he told Severus.

"What else did you lie about?" Petunia snapped. She seemed worried and annoyed at the same time. Perhaps annoyed her sister kept getting involved with targeted people.

"Nothing else, and I do, do peace missions," Kakashi added, "I may have omitted other things but nothing else have I lied about."

"What do you mean omitted?" Petunia was eyeing him darkly and Kakashi sighed as he leaned against a counter.

"Tunney!" Petunia looked away and gave Lily a concerned-older-sister look. "He was a child solider, what do you think he omitted?" the blonde winced at her sister's words and looked down ashamed.

"I'm sorry, I was being…callous," Petunia sighed and straightened out the serving platters.

"Mah, that's why I'm in therapy, don't worry," Lily elbowed him, "Ow! Lily, why'd you do that?!" she rolled her eyes but she was smiling slightly. Vernon chuckled and the atmosphere lightened a little more.

"Oh, and to answer the earlier questions, we are being safe," Kakashi stated with an eye-smile while the Evans sisters choked on air.

"'Kashi!" Lily lightly whacked him on the arm.

"But Lily," Kakashi whined jokingly, "Petunia was going to worry all night about that," said woman looked at him sharply before sighing and nodding her head. Vernon just laughed louder. That was when the doorbell rang. Vernon hurried up from his chair to answer it, all the while laughing at Lily and Kakashi's antics.

"Good evening, Harry. I'm glad you could join us," Vernon could be heard from the hallway, his voice booming.

"Good evening to you too, Vernon," Harold's voice was becoming louder; evidently they were already heading toward the kitchen.

Soon Harold and Vernon were standing in the kitchen where everyone greeted the newcomer. To Kakashi, Harold looked a little worse for wear, pale and haggard looking. He eyed Lily and Kakashi warily, but Petunia motioned for them to go into the adjoining dining room to sit down. Vernon and Harold were at the head of the table while Kakashi and Lily sat on one side and Petunia on the other side.

Lily helped Petunia bring the platters of before-dinner-food out to the table while Vernon uncorked the wine bottle and poured three glasses. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but silently noted that he and Petunia were the only ones who wouldn't be drinking it seemed.

"How have you been Takashi? Starting classes up again in the fall?" Harold asked as he helped himself to a cracker with cheese.

"Yes, I'll be taking a lighter load since I'll have an internship this fall," Kakashi lied smoothly, eye-smiling as he helped himself to some of the fruit set out on the table. He avoided the bowl of olives, even going so far as to eye them uncertainly. They had tricked him once at a previous dinner, he wouldn't be tricked again.

Lily laughed beside him and shook her head, "The olives aren't going to hurt you."

"I beg to differ," Kakashi quickly replied. Lily must have noticed his efforts at avoiding that bowl.

As she began reaching for the spoon in the olive bowl, she continued teasing him, "Just try one, 'Kashi."

"No."

"Just one," Lily coaxed as she scooped an olive onto the spoon.

"No."

"It won't hurt you to try one," by this point the rest of the table was laughing at their little argument. Lily even brought the spoon with the olive on it up to Kakashi's face. He reared his head back and shook his head.

"No, they tricked me once," Kakashi continued to protest, completely aware that he was acting petulant and enjoying that fact. Normally he wouldn't feel comfortable acting this way, but with Lily he could. Besides, olives were just evil and deceptive. He refused to eat another one after that first time.

"How did they trick?" Lily asked, partially exasperated and partially amused.

"They look like they shouldn't be disgusting, but they are. They're deceiving," Lily looked at him incredulously but Kakashi remained firm in his belief.

"You like sardines, how can you not like olives?" Lily finally set the spoon back down and began shaking her head, though she was clearly amused.

"I told you olives are deceptive, they look like they should taste sweet and good but they don't." Lily just looked at him for a moment before shaking her head again, an amused smile on her face.

"Okay, be that way." Harold and Petunia sobered quickly, but Vernon was still laughing when Harold spoke up. Petunia had just gotten up to check on the dinner but paused at her father's question.

"You two seem much closer than before?" suspicion was heavy in his voice.

Kakashi simply eye-smiled while Lily blushed slightly at the question. Her blush wasn't too condemning, so Kakashi could still turn around any assumptions Harold had. "Mah, I'd imagine so after seven months of dating," Kakashi looked over at Lily, a soft smile made its way onto his face. He was thinking about that day in the park when they admitted to loving each other. "I don't think there is anything I haven't told you yet," except that he was a ninja from a continent hidden from the rest of the world. Other than that, he had pretty much told Lily a modified version of everything.

Petunia relaxed slightly and smiled before she turned back toward the kitchen. Harold didn't seem to notice his eldest daughter's behavior; instead, he as focusing on the young couple adjacent to him.

Lily reached out for Kakashi's hand which was resting on the table, "And I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me," her smile was small as well and a little sad, perhaps from what all he had told her. She leaned over and gave him a peck on the check. Harold still looked a little suspicious, but not nearly as much as he had before.

"What exactly do you mean, Takashi?" he asked and Vernon answered for Kakashi.

"He's apparently like James Bond," Vernon joked, a broad grin splitting his face in two.

"James what?" Petunia called from the kitchen, she had pan in her oven-mitted hands.

"Oh I'll help clean up the table," Lily announced as she picked up a few of the platters. Kakashi was about to help her but she shot him a look and he quickly sat back down. Why didn't she let him help her and her sister when they had dinners?

"But what did Vernon say?" Petunia asked as she moved to set the glass pan down on a trivet in the middle of the table.

"I said, Takashi is sort of like James Bond," Vernon chuckled and took a sip of his wine. Petunia practically giggled and shook her head.

"I'm not sure that's completely true," she was laughing slightly in embarrassment, but that clued Kakashi into what, or rather who, they were talking about.

"Oh! You guys are talking about those pulp fiction books in the front of book stores?" Kakashi asked, he remembered seeing the name James Bond in the title for most of those. Lily returned at this point carrying another pan that was filled with different roasted vegetables and smelled of garlic.

She was shaking her head, "I still can't believe you and Mum would read those," Lily said to her sister who blushed brightly.

"Well we can't all be book snobs," she shot back, mock glaring at her sister. Kakashi chuckled along with Lily.

"Oh I don't think we're book snobs," Lily replied slowly.

"We just try to avoid bodice rippers," Kakashi added which made Petunia blush brighter in embarrassment.

"Well they were very good stories and full of action," the blonde tried to defend herself but Vernon shot down her hopes with two words coupled with his salacious smile.

"I'll say."

"Oh shut up all of you!" she hid her face in her hands while the rest of them began to laugh. Harold patted his daughter sympathetically on the arm while he snickered into his wine glass.

"There, there my girl. Let's say our blessings and dig in before you die from mortification." Petunia made a whining noise but eventually lifted her head from her hands.

While the Evans family, and in extension Vernon, said their blessing, Kakashi remained silent. When they were finished he announced Itadakimasu before offering to serve the vegetables while Vernon served the fish.

"What was that that you said?" Harold asked as he waited for his plate.

Kakashi turned and gave him an eye-smile, "It means something like, let's eat, in Japanese. It's just something we say before eating."

Harold hummed and nodded his head, "Do you mind me asking what religion you follow? I know there are some Christians in Japan but I'm assuming you aren't one?" Kakashi nodded his head as he began serving vegetables for Petunia. Harold was genuinely curious. He wasn't trying to be offensive, like Lily apparently believed he was being – if her under the breath curses were any guess.

"I loosely practice Shintoism," Kakashi shrugged, he didn't really believe in a religion per se. "With the life I've had, I guess I don't put much stock in religion," Vernon was frowning in disapproval along with Petunia, but Harold just seemed confused. "I mean, I do believe in Gods and shinigami, but I don't really care for the ornament of religion."

"Shini-what?" Vernon asked as he was handing back Petunia's plate.

Kakashi took Lily's plate as he thought how best to answer that question, "Umm…I guess you'd say the Grim Reaper?"

Petunia was looking at him incredulously, "You believe in the Grim Reaper?"

"Yes, and it might sound crazy, but I swear I saw him," Lily looked over at Kakashi sharply, concern written on her face, "when Minato-sensei died," Kakashi finished and Lily relaxed slightly. Even from his comparatively safe location, he could see the shinigami take his sensei as it sealed the Kyuubi inside of Naruto. He could still remember that ungodly presence, and couldn't stop himself from shuddering.

Harold was frowning along with everyone else. The last plates were severed quickly in an awkward silence. After a few bites, Petunia spoke up, pretending that the previous conversation hadn't happened.

"So what are you bookworms reading now?" she asked slowly, teasing them slightly while also trying to get over the uncomfortable tension in the air.

"Well, we're planning to reread theLord of the Rings series, but to each other," Lily answered.

"You're reading all of book one and most of six," Kakashi paused and added as an afterthought, "and the Rivendell parts." Lily gave him an affronted look.

"Oh, so you're going to read all the depressing parts, instead of letting me skip them?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Mah, I wouldn't call them depressing. And you're going to make me sit through the Shire parts."

Lily gave him a deadpan look, "You don't consider Moria, Emyn Muil, or that staircase to Shelob's lair depressing?"

"Well at least they aren't boring," was Kakashi's rebuttal.

"How is the Shire boring?! How can you not like the Shire?" Lily asked in exasperation. By this point in their argument the former tense mood was alleviate and laughter resumed.

Petunia broke into their argument, her hands clasped together in front of her, "You two are just perfect for each other," she gushed while laughing.

That took the wind out of Kakashi's sails and made him forget what his counter argument was going to be. Instead of continuing their playful argument, both Kakashi and Lily were blushing brightly.

"Yes, you two do make quite the couple, though I'm still surprised that you're a spy, Takashi," Harold's mirth was leaving him, he seemed to be dwelling on that earlier revelation.

"I'm not familiar with the Bond series, but I mostly just spy on crime syndicates and go undercover." Harold was frowning but nodded approvingly. Likely he was concerned about Lily being in danger. "If it sets your mind at ease, sir, I'm very good at disguising myself when I go undercover."

"Hmm…"

Lily sighed but reached out to squeeze Kakashi's hand. She was likely recalling the long talk they had about him hiding behind a mask. The people at this table and Severus were the only ones to know what he really looked like – well, minus his hair color and hidden sharingan. There were few living people who could still remember what he had looked like as a child.

But that was a can of worms he refused to open tonight. Lily could know about his mask wearing, but not the rest of them.

The conversation turned to Lily's new job starting tomorrow. Harold was proud of his daughter, though Kakashi noted the man looked saddened by something. Perhaps he had hopped his daughter would have entered an exciting magical field of work, but instead she had turned back to the muggle world?

"Well let's toast to your new job and for good luck," Vernon stated. He had finished eating and now lifted up his glass. Kakashi and Petunia both lifted up their water glasses while everyone else held up wineglasses. Of course, it was at this moment that Lily noticed her sister's distinct lack of alcohol.

"Tunney? You're not drinking?" It looked like the cogs were already turning in Lily's head while Petunia tried to bite down on her smile, but eventually the excited smile won over.

"I'm afraid to jinx it, but I'm expecting," Petunia announced and held her breath as Lily stared at her in amazement.

"Oh my God!" Lily squealed, jumping up from the table to hug her sister. "You're pregnant, oh my God!" Lily covered her mouth with her hands to muffle her excited cries. Then the excitement seemed to pause as a thought occurred to Lily, "Oh my God, I'm going to an aunt!?" she squealed again and hugged her sister tightly once more.

Harold and Vernon were both chuckling at their respective ends of the table, both expressing pride and love but in different forms.

"My baby girl's having a baby," Harold shook his head in disbelief, perhaps at how fast time went by. Kakashi sat in his seat, offered words of good luck and congratulations when appropriate, but otherwise he remained out of the conversation.

Lily talked animatedly with her sister, while Harold threw in the occasional comment here and there. What were they planning to name the kid if it was boy or girl? Where they hopping for a boy? Did they have plans for the baby?

It made Kakashi uneasy hearing them talk about Petunia's unborn child. The last couple he knew who had been expecting had been Minato-sensei and Kushina-san. That remainder led to Kakashi being unable to stop thinking about Naruto.

Kakashi helped the Evans sisters clear up the table, using the "But you're pregnant" card on Petunia when she tried to tell him to go sit down with the men in the lounge. He was in autopilot, giving them eye-smiles and nods when appropriate while he scrubbed at the dishes. Of course, after the dishes were washed he was shoved into the lounge where Harold and Vernon were still discussing baby things. The women seemed to want some time to themselves.

"Say Takeshi," Vernon began while swirling the glass of scotch in his hand, "Are there any traditions where you're from for babies?"

Kakashi blinked a few times before he registered the questions, "No, I don't think there, sorry," he gave them an eye-smile before attempting to passively participate in the conversation; however, they wouldn't let him be. He just wanted to sit there and drown them out, but they had to ask questions, uncomfortable questions that made him feel guilty about Naruto.

Harold spoke next while Vernon started to take a sip of scotch, "What do children do in Japan?" he asked innocently enough. Vernon promptly began to choke on his drink and shake his head vehemently, but it was too late.

Kakashi eye-smiled and shrugged, "I can't imagine it's too different," he wasn't sure if Harold had been informed of his unusual childhood or not. Judging by Vernon's reaction, though, he'd say Harold was clueless.

Vernon was still coughing, but Harold passed his son-in-law's actions off as being unaccustomed to strong liquor. Harold rubbed absentmindedly at his chest while he spoke, "What games did you play? What was school like?" Vernon was grimacing now but again, Harold didn't pay him much mind.

"Well, ninja was a popular game in my village, but I never went to school, so I can't say what that was like…" He let his voice trail off, not sure what else he could say. Naruto didn't get to play ninja because the other children were told to stay away from him. Kakashi never played it because he never interacted with the children his age unless he had to.

"What do you mean? They have schools in Japan, don't they?" Vernon had given up it seemed and let Harold ask his innocently callous questions.

Naruto was at the academy now, but he had no one to come home to tell about what he learned or get pointers on what he knew. Naruto was the class reject, isolated from his peers and hated. Kakashi isolated himself and hated his inferior peers, but that had been his choice and at least he had his father to come home to…

"Yes, but I grew up in Korea, in a small jungle village. I consider Japan my home now, but it wasn't where I grew up." Kakashi shook his head slightly as he said the last part and eye-smiled to show no harm was done.

Harold was frowning, almost like he was in pain, but he nodded slowly. "I see, so you grew up there during the war?" Kakashi could only nod and the man grimaced, rubbing at his chest absentmindedly, "I'm sorry if I opened unwanted memories, I didn't know."

"It's fine Harry, sir," Kakashi saw this as perfect opportunity to get away from all the baby talk. "I wasn't sure if you were informed about my past, so really, no harm done," Kakashi paused before giving both men another eye-smile, "I'd like to get some air, if that's alright."

He saw guilt flash across Harold's face, but Kakashi could deal with causing the man to assume the worst if he could just get out of here. They both nodded stiffly and Kakashi made his way to the front door which was closest. After closing the door he could hear Lily calling from the kitchen.

"Did someone just leave?"

He didn't bother trying to pick up what Vernon said; instead, he just started walking. He flinched when he heard the door open and close behind him and heard Lily running to catch up with him. "Takashi, my dad didn't—"

"It's not about that Lily, don't worry," Kakashi sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. He wanted to be alone to his thoughts, but he knew Lily wouldn't let him, which was probably for the best in all actuality.

"Really because it doesn't seem that way," she retorted, probably annoyed that he was closing himself off from her again. Kakashi remained silent, but by this point they came to a small playground. He sat down heavily on one of the swings; Lily claimed the one beside his. "Are you going to talk about it now?"

Kakashi smiled sadly and scuffed his toe against the dirt, "These are the only things Naruto can play on," he murmured, as he clenched his fists against the metal links that comprised the chains connecting to the bar above them.

"What?"

Kakashi shook his head and gave Lily an eye-smile. "I had to get out of there. I saw an opportunity to do so without seeming too rude." Lily had her brow furrowed in confusion, so Kakashi elaborated. "The last couple I knew that was expecting had been Minato-sensei and Kushina-san." Kakashi took a deep breath after saying that and waited while understanding started to dawn on Lily.

"What happened to the baby?" she asked slowly, almost hesitantly, as if she feared the worse.

"I made sure he was taken to Japan with me," Lily seemed to relax visibly but she still looked confused. "You know, he looks just like Minato-sensei and he already acts just like Kushina-san," he could feel pressure building up behind his eyes, but he just took deep breaths to try and push back the pressure. "I stop in to visit as much as I can, but…it's so painful."

Lily looked down at her lap. Her hands were curled loosely around the metal-links on either side of her. Her brow was furrowed in concern and confusion, "'Kashi, why do you sound…regretful?"

Kakashi sighed as he bowed his head forward. "He's three and he's been to at least twenty different foster homes." It was the best analogy he could come up with for the village pariah, and considering Lily would assume Minato-sensei died toward the end of the war, he had to change the kid's age. Naruto was six – almost seven – and living on his own in a tiny one room apartment. Before that he'd been moved from orphanage to orphanage until he could finally start at the academy. Every day he saw the little blonde sitting dejectedly at the swings…he couldn't help but feel that he was failing his sensei.

Lily had a hand to her mouth in shock and perhaps even horror, was she thinking Naruto was physically abused? No, no one had dared put a hand to the "Kyuubi incarnate," they just verbally abused him and malnourished him. Kakashi shook his head, "Sometimes I feel like I should just adopt him but…but I don't know how to take care of kids."

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know what kids are supposed to be like, and they terrify me. You might think children are sweet and innocent, but people called me that too before they ended up with a knife in their lungs," Lily gasped and stood up from her swing. Perhaps that had been a little harsh and gory, but it was true.

"Oh 'Kashi…" she started to reach out toward him but he halted her with an eye-smile.

"So it was…hard, you know? Listening to your conversation tonight. I don't trust kids because, irrationally, I think they could be just like me and my comrades from the war. And then I think about the fact I've abandoned the last living piece of my mentor because of the aforementioned fears," he swallowed thickly before rubbing at his face.

Kakashi took a moment to breathe before he shook his head and looked up. "I'm happy for you all, really I am," Kakashi stated as he stood up to face Lily, who still looked horrified yet concerned for his well-being. "I wish I knew what children were supposed to be like, then maybe…" he wasn't sure how to end that thought. Maybe he wouldn't be so fucked up? Maybe he could adopt Naruto and know that he wasn't screwing him up irreparably?

Lily moved toward him and slowly wrapped her arms around him. The stood there for who knew how long, but eventually they started to head back to Petunia's. Lily had nothing to say, and he was glad that that was the case. Anything she could have said would have been hollow words because she got to be a child, and she seemed to know this. So she did the best thing she could have, she was there physically for him. She didn't judge him on what he had said, and she had accepted him no matter how horrifying the truth was. She was supporting him, and that was all he could have asked for.

They were outside on the front lawn of # 4 Privet Drive, when Lily spoke at last. "Well, I suppose we should show you what kids are like then, hmm?" Kakashi gave her a small smile, perhaps that would be nice, but it was also terrifying. Her soft smile turned it a coy yet almost mischievous look, "So…I guess you're going to have to babysit with me."

"What?" Lily laughed at his horrified but shocked expression. She wasn't serious, was she?

"I see you two are back," Harold said from the door way, he sounded slightly out of breath to Kakashi. Harold had a small smile on his face as he approached them; however, Kakashi could hear pain in his voice, even if Lily couldn't. "I'll be heading home now, but…." The man trailed off and the closer Harold got, the more concerned Kakashi became. The man was pale and in the dim light he could see sweat collecting at the older man's temples and around his neck. It was cool now that the sun went down, so there was little reason for him to be sweating, at least as excessively as he was.

"Harry, are you okay?" Kakashi asked quickly, moving toward the older man. His left arm was tense at his side, as if Harold was in pain but trying to not let on that he was.

"Oh I'm fine, Takashi, I wanted to apologize though—"

"I meant what I said, no harm done, honest. But are you sure you're okay?" Lily was concerned now that Kakashi was being persistent. Harold just shook his head at Kakashi's concern and gave the Jounin a small smile that was trying to hide pain.

"Lily call an ambulance," Kakashi had seen plenty of ninja go down from a heart attack, most commonly due to overdosing on solider pills, or from too much adrenaline mixed with poison. He knew what was happening to Harold, he should have noticed the signs sooner…

"What?!" Lily was already heading toward the house and Harold looked annoyed with him, though also in obvious discomfort.

"I am battle first aid certified, and I've seen many a heart attack," Kakashi received a glare from the stubborn man that he happily returned. Now he knew why so many medics were stern with him, stubborn patients were, well a bitch to deal with.

"Can you feel your left arm, Harold?" Harold gritted his teeth but shook his head in negation. He was grimacing now; likely the heart was going out of rhythm, and his breathing was becoming more difficult.

Lily was inside now, dialing for an ambulance. Kakashi helped the man down to the ground just as his eyes began to roll to the back of his head. The heart attack was fully hitting Harold now. Kakashi quickly unbuttoned Harold's shirt, he had precious little time before Petunia and Vernon came out. He set his hands to make a cross current that would hopefully re-jump Harold's heart and set it back in rhythm. Using his lightning aligned chakra, he sent a jolt through the older man. Kakashi set his head to Harold's chest and cursed before lacing his hands together with the heel of his palm below Harold's breast bone. He then began CPR. Kakashi wished he had time to get his CPR mask out from his storage scroll, but he could already hear Petunia and Vernon running out to him. Hopefully he wouldn't get anything, because it was clear Harold was no longer breathing.

While he was doing chest compressions he turned to address Petunia and Vernon, "Do either of you know how to do chest compressions?" they shook their heads. Kakashi cursed under his breath and continued to administer CPR. They were hovering, which just made Kakashi grit his teeth in annoyance. Damn it, why wasn't Harold stirring, and where was the ambulance.

Two minutes had almost passed since he started CPR. "Would you two not hover," Kakashi growled out which caused the couple to jump back from him. Lily was still on the phone; likely she had to stay on it until the ambulance came.

Vernon and Petunia were a good ways away from him now; he could possibly risk giving Harold another shock. He shifted his hands quickly and sent another current before resuming chest compressions, Harold still hadn't stirred.

He could hear the sirens, long before they came near, but Kakashi was perhaps on his fifth cycle of shocks and CPR when he felt Harold breathing. He quickly felt for a pulse and tipped backwards onto his back in relief. The pulse was steady, but he was just unconscious.

"Is he okay now?" Vernon rushed out while Petunia just stood by wringing her hands.

"His pulse and breathing is stable again," Kakashi breathed out, and not a minute later emergency rescue came and put Harold on a gurney as they watched his vitals.

"Were you the one who gave him CPR," Kakashi nodded curtly to the emergency response man. "He's stable for the moment," the then turned to Petunia and Vernon. Lily was outside now, finally off the phone with the emergency people. "Are you two family?"

"Yes," Petunia replied, her voice trembling, Lily was now holding onto her sister as they moved over to the man. "Both of you are family?" he asked again, likely now noticed the familial resemblance between the Evans sisters. The sisters nodded. "You can ride with us; we'll be asking you questions about the patient." Lily looked back at Kakashi who gave her an encouraging nod. She smiled weakly before climbing in the back of the ambulance. It was going to be long night for them, but at least Harold was alive.

Petunia was helping her daughter ice a two tiered cake. Was this how kids were supposed to act? So happy over even the simplest of things, so innocent? Dudley was amusing himself with a comic book while he sat at the dining room table swinging his pudgy legs. Crow was in his lap and he was absentmindedly scratching behind her ears. Heather was standing on a stepping stool with her mother holding onto her securely.

Kakashi broke his attention away from the almost sickeningly domestic scene to hear a car pull into the driveway. The kids must have heard the car door slam closed because they hopped away from what they were doing to race into the hall, likely to greet whoever opened the door. Crow was two steps ahead of them. Petunia smiled fondly before turning back to the cake and amending her daughter's mistakes. She then began to write something on it in a new color of icing that was in a pastry bag. He couldn't read it from this angle and there were no reflective surfaces to help him.

"Dad!" Dudley greeted loudly, well the boy also had that in common with his father.

"Papa!" Heather cried from the hall. Kakashi could hear Vernon chuckle and greet his children fondly. Soon they were all back in the kitchen, Heather being carried against her father's hip despite being a little old for it.

Vernon looked over at the table and frowned, "Dudley, what have we told you about leaving your things around the house?" there was no anger in his voice, just a touch of disappointment. The large boy ducked his head and grimaced before he hurried over to the dining table and picked up the comic book he had dropped. "Thank you, now that's the responsible kid I know" Vernon moved to ruffle the boy's hair.

"Papa, I want down," Heather demanded and Vernon chuckled as he set the girl back on her feet.

"There you go Princess," he ruffled her hair too, much to the little girl's chagrin. Vernon then moved over to Petunia and set his meaty hands on her hips. She smiled coyly at him while he planted a whiskery kiss on her cheek, "And how has Mrs. Dursley been today?" The kids made gagging noises behind their parents back while the married couple just kissed in response.

"Oh, I'm fine," she put the finishing touches to the cake and smiled before turning around to her husband. "Now why don't you go clean yourself up, they're due back any minute." Vernon chuckled as he was shooed out of the room.

"And Dudley, why don't you put your comic book away too," Petunia added.

"Okay, Mum," Dudley followed after his father which left the two females of the family behind. Kakashi couldn't help but dwell on who the "they" were that Petunia had mentioned. Was it Lily, her husband, and their child? However, the table was set for sex not seven. Was Lily a single parent?

Kakashi's heart rate picked up, but that wasn't possible because they had always used protection. No, there had to be another reason. Maybe the kid's father had ditched or had work? That was probably it, because Harold had still been alive and kicking when Kakashi left; granted, he wasn't in the best condition and even the slightest shock was likely to kill him, but… Kakashi was over thinking things. There was a logical explanation for why there six plates set at the table and not seven.

It was during his ponderings that he heard a loud crack. He jumped off the windowsill in shock but quickly scampered over the dining room window. He'd get a better view of what was going on over here, since the Dursleys and guests were about to have dinner. He could also see into the living room from this vantage point, though the view was limited. Heather was no longer in the kitchen, likely now in the hallway.

Petunia was frowning but she just shook her head and began to set the food on the table. It looked like they were having ham. He could smell it through the glass, or perhaps that was hunger making him imagine things. He hadn't eaten since that café earlier in the day.

"Uncle, Uncle!" Heather cheered from the hallway. Kakashi could practically hear Dudley thundering down the stairs and also crying the same title; however, Kakashi's stomach had dropped at what they had said. Lily wasn't here, her husband was. He took a few calming breaths. He could hear Heather's loud demands for a magic trick, but her voiced seemed miles away even with his chakra enhanced hearing.

"I've told you a million times that I refuse to perform magic like some paltry party trick," Kakashi's jaw dropped at that new voice. Severus…Severus married Lily?! Part of him wanted to cuss the snide bastard out, but then he also felt happy for him… But, then why the hell wasn't Lily here?!

"You know she'll keep pestering you, Uncle, until you transfigure something," that was a child's voice but it wasn't Dudley and obviously not Heather. Kakashi's breath caught in his throat as the group entered the dining room from the living room.

He looked so much like Lily, the kid that was walking beside Severus. His eyes were the same almond-shape, and the same exact hue of vibrant green. His nose was almost exactly like Lily's, and his cheekbone structure was similar too. Kakashi wasn't sure where the boy's narrow jaw came from, though. But his eyes… His eyes were identical to hers and they focused almost immediately on Kakashi's henge upon entering the room. There was a marginal narrowing of his – Lily's — eyes before the boy focused back up at Snape.

The boy was olive skinned, which was a darker complexion than Lily had, and his hair was pitch black. Severus could have very well been his father, if not for the boy's complexion, but then the boy had called Severus Uncle. Severus was an uncle to this boy, but where was his mother? Because there was no doubt now that the child before him was her son and not Marge's son. At the back of his mind, he knew the answer but he didn't want it to be true. Perhaps she had important business elsewhere because he refused to believe anything else. Lily couldn't be dead, she just couldn't!

He missed what passed between the group as he vainly tried to deny what logic was shouting at him, but now that boy was staring at his henge again. His head was tilted slightly to the side, he looked confused yet intrigued.

"What is it Harry?" Severus asked, following the boy's line of sight. The kid blinked a few times before he shook his head.

"Nothing Uncle," the kid gave a fake cheerful smile that caused his eyes to crinkle up. Severus just rolled his eyes and shook his head while he muttered something under his breath.

It was at this point that Vernon entered the room. He was frowning but he nodded his head to Severus, "Snape," he greeted with a gruff voice.

"Dursley."

The kids rolled their eyes at the interchange. Vernon ruffled Harry's hair as he passed to sit down at the head of the table. Petunia offered Severus the other end but he declined and sat down next to Dudley while Heather claimed a seat next to her cousin. There was no blessing the food, but Severus helped the other adults pass out servings to the children and to each other.

"Thank you for inviting me Ev- Petunia," Severus corrected himself and gave her his best attempt at a cordial smile. She snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Well the kids adore you," Petunia explained as she began to cut up Heather's ham. The girl protested but her mother ignored her. The two boys snickered to each other. "Lord knows why," she mumbled under her breath.

"Yes well…" Severus shifted uncomfortably before turning to Dudley who had already tucked into his diner. "Are you looking forward to that school, Smeltings, was it?" he asked conversationally, though he still managed to sound awkward. The wizard had never been good in social situations, especially with muggles or children. Dudley was both which made the man more awkward.

It was easier for Kakashi to just follow their conversation than the think of the possibilities. To think that Lily was … he couldn't even finish the thought.

Dudley swallowed before he answered, "I'm really excited, but Harry," the boy turned to his cousin, "You gotta send me lots of letters from Hedwig, yeah!?" Petunia and Vernon crinkled their noses at what their son said but made no other sign of complaint. Hedwig was likely an owl, since that was the wizarding way of sending and receiving mail. "And you gotta tell me all about Hogwarts."

"Me too! Me too!" Heather exclaimed as she latched herself onto her cousin's arm. The boy ducked his head and blushed at the attention. Heather was looking up at him with a broad smile. Now that they were all together, the three of them could be siblings, Heather being the link between the Evans extreme and the Dursley extreme.

"Okay," Harry replied in a small voice, clearly embarrassed. The adults were smiling slightly at the exchange between the children, clearly finding it endearing. "But Dudley," Harry added, looking back up with at his cousin with an almost conspiratorial grin, "You have to tell me about all the pranks and adventures you go on."

"Deal!" Dudley agreed as they both began to snicker. Heather looked put out to be excluded from the boys. It almost seemed like a common occurrence to her that they had their own jokes that she wasn't allowed to be a part of.

"Oh Merlin," Severus rolled his eyes, "Harry, I better not catch you pulling any pranks while at Hogwarts, its time you put that behind you."

Harry gave Severus a sidelong look while smiling mischievously. "Okay, I won't be caught doing pranks." Severus gave the boy a hard look before relenting and shaking his head.

"So much like your mother," he mumbled, which caused Petunia to laugh and Vernon to chuckle.

As Vernon sobered up, he turned to look at Harry, "So what did you do after camp?"

"Well after camp," Harry began, "Uncle Severus picked me up and we practiced cutting potions ingredient, 'cause he'll be mad if I can't when term starts—"

"I didn't say that and you know it, brat," Severus interjected, giving the boy a mock glare, "I said no Godson of mine is going to fail potions." Petunia and Vernon actually chuckled at this.

"Semantics," the boy waved his hand dismissively which only caused his aunt and uncle to laugh louder and Severus to give him a deadpan look, as if asking if the boy really knew what that meant. "Anyways," Harry hurried on, "Then Uncle Severus showed me memories of Mum and Dad." Vernon raised an eyebrow at this and Petunia also seemed intrigued.

Severus could show memories? Could that bypass the seal Kakashi put on him? He severely hoped not. The Jounin pushed these thoughts, amongst others, to the side.

"Oh, and what did Snape show you?" Petunia asked. The other kids looked interested too in what Harry would say.

"He showed me a memory of Mum kicking his butt!"

"Harry!" Petunia reprimanded his choice of words while his cousins snickered along with their father. Severus was blushing slightly as he took a sip of water.

"You had to say that memory, not the memory I showed you of your mother playing with me as a child," Severus shook his head and muttered something incoherent under his breath. Harry just smiled mischievously and laughed to himself.

"In my defense, you're mother had a brutal right hook and I quickly realized I should not have underestimated her," Petunia began to laugh along with Vernon. Severus was wearing his own amused smirk despite the humiliating memory.

"Is that so, guess those lessons from Takashi paid off, huh?" Vernon crowed before reaching for his water.

Severus smiled softly, almost sadly, before he nodded, "I suppose you could say Mr. Hatake was a good teacher." The adults' mood dampened slightly but the kids were talking excitedly to each other, having quickly lost interest when Vernon piped in.

"Don't worry Heather, soon enough you'll be going to a privet school like us too," Dudley stated in an attempt to cheer up his sister. Harry nodded his head to his cousin's words and put a hand on Heather's shoulder. The girl cheered up slightly.

"Yeah, it'll probably be just as cool as our schools," Harry added and Heather began to smile brightly.

The diner continued on with the kids branching off into their own conversations with Severus listening in, or the adults talking about their careers. Petunia was thinking of picking back up temp work once the boys go off to boarding school. Soon everyone was finished and the plates were cleared off the table, the kids eagerly pitched in because desert would be served faster that way. Petunia then brought out the cake which read, "Good luck at school my little men" the cousins grinned brightly to each other and there were murmurs of good luck as the cake was served.

"Now, Harry, I know Dudley plans to come home for Christmas," Vernon began after swallowing his first bite of cake. Harry looked up at him sharply and Severus was eyeing the large man too. "Now, you don't have to, but it would be nice to have the whole family present for the Holiday," Vernon stated slowly, obviously trying not to pressure the boy.

Harry looked up surprised, clearly having not thought that far ahead. He looked conflicted and turned to look at Severus who held his hands up like he wanted to have no part in his decision. Harry bowed his head, too conflicted to make a decision.

Severus sighed and dropped his hands, "Fine," he started in exasperation "It may be possible for you to do both," Severus sated, "I would have to get the Headmaster's permission, but since I've been visiting you all on Christmas anyways…" Severus trailed off while making a circular motion with his hand.

The kids' eyes widened in glee at the prospect, and Petunia couldn't help but smile along with her husband. "That would be great if it can work, but you have a long time yet to decide what you want to do," Petunia told her nephew, "Just, you know, keep the magical things to a minimum."

Severus scoffed and rolled his eyes which caused both Vernon and Petunia to glare at him. "Have you ever had to worry about that before?" Severus asked dryly.

Petunia just stared at him for a moment before picking up empty plates, "Well," she started, " You two have a long day ahead of you, and it's near your bed-time miss," She addressed the children who all gave varying pitches of disappointed whines. Petunia pursed her lips together and looked at the kids with an eyebrow raised, as if asking for them to complain. They collectively sighed and began to trudge toward hallway. "I'll be up in a half hour to tuck you all in," Petunia announced, though Harry and Dudley immediately began to protest.

Severus chuckled and moved around the table to tell the kids good-bye. The man begrudgingly accepted hugs from them, much to the chagrin of Petunia and Vernon. When their heavy footsteps were heard on the stairs, Severus sat back down tiredly and rubbed his face.

"What?" Vernon asked gruffly.

"How do you two stand it?" he asked tiredly, "You have to be nice to them all the time, you can't intimidate them…" he shuddered.

Petunia rolled her eyes and Vernon actually began to laugh. "Oh yes, I remember your past-time with Takashi," Petunia drawled, clearly unimpressed. "I've been meaning to ask," Petunia paused to make sure she had Severus's attention, "Were you the one who suggested intimidating children?"

Severus began to laugh genuinely while shaking his head, "Believe it or not, the Scarecrow suggested it first. Those lessons have come in handy though."

Petunia rolled her eyes while her husband just laughed harder, "You don't say?" Vernon asked, "I suppose you got all those fr-ee spirited kids under control," Vernon caught himself from saying freaks, which did not slip past Severus.

"Yes I do have all those little demons under control. I really don't know how you two do this though," Severus gestured around them. "But whatever you're doing, you've done a very good job at it," Severus sighed and stood up slowly.

Petunia looked at him anxiously, she was wringing her hands, "Do-do you think Lily would be proud of me? Do you think she'd think I was doing a good job of raising him?"

Severus nodded and began to meander into the living room. However, that just confirmed the fears at the back of Kakashi's mind. Lily was dead, but how, and for how long? Petunia said she raised Harry, but what exactly did that mean? From a baby, from a toddler, from a young child? NO! He couldn't think about that, he had to focus on them, on anything but the fact that Lily was dead.

"Do you think he would have been proud?" Vernon asked in a surprisingly thoughtful tone. Severus was looking a picture on the fireplace mantel, but from this angle Kakashi couldn't see it quite right. The wizard was wearing a sad but thoughtful look.

When he turned around, Severus's expression was neutral again and he nodded slowly, "Yes, I believe he would have been proud, happy even." Severus reentered the dining room and leaned against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. "I'm surprised I'm saying this, but you two are good parents. You care for Harry like he was your own, you don't show favoritism toward any which one of them…" Severus closed his eyes and shook his head, "Why do you doubt yourselves now?"

Petunia looked to her husband before addressing Severus's question. "He never showed any signs, we thought he was nor- I mean…" Petunia grimaced at the glare Severus shot her, "We didn't think he was magical, okay," she spat out before calming, "Up until he got that letter; then there was that Boa Constrictor that escaped from the zoo when we visited," Petunia rubbed her face tiredly. "You know I'm uncomfortable with all that magic, and what if he gets killed by it like Lily?"

Severus flinched. Vernon seemed to be taking a backseat in this conversation, which seemed alright with him.

Severus licked his lips before he responded, "Lily died because of a prophecy," Kakashi gasped along with the married couple. A prophecy?

"Prophecy?" Vernon asked gruffly, his voice saturated in disbelief.

"Yes a prophecy and I've gone over it a thousand times. No matter what, Lily was going to die because of it. She had to," Severus closed his eyes tightly as if to reign in his emotions.

"What kind of prophecy says my baby sister had to die?" Petunia asked sharply, going so far as to jab Severus in the chest with one manicured nail.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born as the seventh month dies, born to parents who had thrice defied him…" Severus trailed off and sighed, "That's what Voldemort heard, but there was more. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord has a power the Dark Lord knows not, and neither can die while the other still lives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born as the seventh month dies." Severus finished reciting.

"What the hell does that mean?" Vernon grumbled, scratching his head while Petunia looked pale.

"Neither can die while the other lives…does that mean the bastard that killed my baby sister is still alive?" Petunia asked, her voice high and sharp with fear. The more concerning question for Kakashi was why the hell Lily had to die?"

Severus nodded his head slowly; his right hand gravitated unconsciously toward his left arm. Petunia looked like she was about to have a panic attack, "Don't worry, you'll be safe here until Harry turns seventeen. There's a blood ward around your house." This calmed the blonde down slightly, but with her family's immediate safety no longer a concern, she had other questions.

"That prophecy said nothing about Lily dying."

"There were only two couples who had defied the dark lord three times and had a child on July 31 of the year this prophecy came out. A pureblood couple and a mixed-blood couple. Little known fact, Voldemort was a half-blood; he aligned himself with Harry because he'd seen he himself in Harry's parentage." Petunia looked ready to protest, but Severus hurried on, "The power Harry had that Voldemort didn't know about was a love. His mother sacrificing herself to protect him – that love – was what caused the killing curse to reflect off of Harry and back at Voldemort.

"As for the rest of the prophecy, I have my theories, but I'm afraid I don't know for certain. Only the Headmaster knows but he's tight lipped about it. However, what I do know is that Lily sacrificing herself in an attempt to protect Harry was part of the prophecy," Severus sighed in resignation.

"So if she hadn't married that freak?"

"If she hadn't married Potter it would have ended the same. There were rumors already floating about that she had broken up with James and was dating a muggle"

"But what about that thrice defied bullshit?" Vernon piped in.

"Hatake did defy him three times, just not in a way that Voldemort knew about, but he would have found out eventually!" Severus snapped. It was clear he had gone over all the possibilities. "It would have been even more symbolic for him!" Sever hissed as he threw his hand up into the air, "A witch seducing a muggle and having a child. That was the exact situation Voldemort had been born to. He wouldn't have cared half so much about Lily's blood status because in the end, she was witch and Hatake was a muggle." Severus covered his face in his hands.

Kakashi focused on what Severus was saying rather than understanding the implications. It was probably a mistake, or a false assumption. That had to be it. Maybe Severus was being hypothetical?

"I've thought about it a hundred different ways. What if Lily didn't marry Potter after Hatake died? It would have taken longer, more muggles would have been killed, but eventually Lily would have been tracked down and killed to get to Harry. And if she had been staying with you…" Severus trialed off and Petunia sat down shakily.

"What if Hatake hadn't died?" Severus asked rhetorically, "eventually Voldemort would have found out about his involvement in Longfellow's… and then they would have both died. Sure Hatake would have likely gotten a few fatal hits, in but the fucking prophecy!" Severus managed to keep his voice down to an enraged hiss, but his frustration with it all was evident.

"It didn't matter who told him the prophecy, Voldemort would have heard it one way or another. If not one of his own who had only heard a portion, then he'd have heard if from his Order spy, who would have heard the full version. And who knows how much worse off things would have been if Voldemort heard the full thing. From the moment that prophecy was made, Lily's life was forfeit," Severus ended weakly, shaking his head back and forth.

"I-I don't understand, you said Takashi defied that Voldemort?" Vernon asked shakily.

"He's a muggle, Vernon but…I-I" Severus shook his head, "I can't explain…"

They were quite now. They didn't look like they were going to continue talking.

The world felt like it was spinning. Kakashi backed away from the house, halfway through the yard his henge began to waver, but he made to the night shadow of the tree before it fell completely.

Lily was destined to die…Harry was his child…but that had to be a mistake, there was no way that could be, no proof! He couldn't believe it, he wouldn't believe it. Kakashi clutched at his head in a vain attempt to keep the world from spinning, to keep the ground from opening up under him. Gods this was a worse revelation than "Uchiha Mandara" being Obito!

Was what Severus said, true, was there really no way around Lily's death? Gods damn it! Why did there have to be a prophecy here too! Fucking prophecies! The sucked for everyone involved in them!

Kakashi jumped when he felt someone touch his arm. He looked to his attacker and found Harry…he was staring at him. Now that he was paying attention, Kakashi could faintly hear Dudley whispering from an open window for Harry to get back and leave the weird hobo alone.

"Were you the squirrel?" Harry asked. "The shimmering squirrel?" Kakashi jerked back against the tree. The kid could see the shimmer in his henge, but only people with chakra…

"Harry get away from that weirdo!" Dudley finally yelled which alerted the adults' attention. The kid must have snuck out of his window if they hadn't been alerted before. The kid was trying to talk to him again…his son was trying to talk to him. His son.

Kakashi quickly ran through the signs for the shunshin. He only managed to go a few blocks before he fell to his knees and retched. He had a son…this whole time he had had a son.

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A suivre

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A/N:
Yep, Kakashi's Harry's biological father, y'all guessed it! That was my plan from the moment I started writing this, and it took only two-hundred pages to get there! Anyways... Not happy about the OC? Not happy that Kakashi ran away again? Sorry, but I'm not going to give anything away but there is a another chapter being written. I'm also sorry if I inaccurately described what you're supposed to do for someone having a heart attack, I am AED and CPR certified but I've never used it.

As far as Heather goes, in my opinion if the Dursleys weren't so focused on being "normal" they probably would have had another child and would not have spoiled Dudley. Since they wouldn't be spoiling Dudley in some bizarre attempt to deny Harry's existence, then they would have been able to afford a third child. I mean, they got Dudley a fucking computer, in the nineties, when he turned eleven - along with the thirty something other presents! They were loaded, and they spent it all on Dudley. Though that's just my opinion, please ignore it. Also, since James wasn't Harry's father, Sirius was never the godfather, Severus was. I have solid reasoning for how this works out but since this is from Kakashi's perspective I can't tell it to you right now.

Lastly, yes Kakashi was very passive in this chapter, but again, and I've stressed this many times in his internal dialogue, he is not to be seen. That was his mission objective, though he kind of blew that at the end. Also, after the bomb dropped and he learned Lily died, it was just easier for him to hang on to his sanity by listening to what they said rather than think about her being dead. Also, I have a hard time writing dialogue for children, so I'm sorry if that was weird. Again, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed ~ with love, Depressedchildren