This Student Life
Semester 1, Week 4
Taking Gokudera out for lunch was like dragging a grandmother to appreciate a teenage movie when all she wanted to do was judge dumb millennials for their bullshit. And then ditch them to play mahjong or something.
"Why don't you just do something with your lives instead of being so insouciant and ignorant," Gokudera was muttering under his breath, clearly salty that he wasn't allowed to be productive. His fingers clenched around a packet of cigarettes resting on the tabletop as he glared at Takesushi's 'no-smoking' sign. "You know what - I'll be back in fifteen," he tried, rising to his feet.
"And where do you think you're going?" Yamamoto asked, flashing him a saccharine smile. "Show some respect to the owners of the restaurant, will you?"
"You just want to run away," Tsuna added, stepping on his classmate's foot so he couldn't escape.
"I should be getting back to the library," Gokudera argued for the tenth time. "I have to revise my thesis-"
"Nope, you're staying right here," both Tsuna and Yamamoto said in unison. Tsuna grabbed Gokudera's briefcase so he wouldn't do something ridiculous like writing his thesis at the restaurant table.
Yes, they were being assholes by keeping Gokudera against his will. But it was obvious that their over-achiever classmate was going to work until he passed out or died. And Tsuna definitely wasn't heartless enough to abandon him under such dire circumstances.
"I promise the food's really good here," Yamamoto persuaded, handing out the menus. "And as my friends, you guys get discounts."
Tsuna quietly dismissed all options with four-figure prices. He would much rather have dined at the cheap Chinese place across the road. They had great spicy ramen there with mouth-watering MSG soup, but Tsuna had this superstition that whenever he dined at that restaurant, he'd flunk his finals.
Gokudera on the other hand, was not afraid of throwing money. He slammed his credit card onto the table, barely batting an eyelid at the prices as they made their orders on the tablet attached to the table. And holy shit, was that a Louis Vuitton wallet? And a Rolex watch?
"This better be worth my time," Gokudera seethed, tapping on several dishes at random. He seemed to have a thing for celery. "And why do we need to pay for our order before it arrives? What restaurant policy is this?"
"Just to let you know, there's also a 1.5% surcharge for credit cards," Yamamoto answered cheerfully, completely unrepentant. "And would you like to leave a tip?"
"Oh my gosh you are the best, Gokudera," Tsuna gushed with his mouth full of chocolate. He held up a bag of soft toys and his glorious new fidget spinner, which Gokudera had won for him at the arcade. "How do you even get anything from claw machines?"
"You wait for those dumbass couples to give up after emptying their wallets," Gokudera explained, sucking on his icy pole. "The claw tightens after about 10 000 yen."
An upset girlfriend a short distance away had just slapped her boyfriend for missing a large Pikachu plushie for the nth time. It looked like she was breaking up with him over this. Tsuna felt bad for the guy, but at least the amusement park had gift shops.
"Hey hey, let's go to the shooting booth!" Yamamoto exclaimed, spotting a few staff members wearing bear costumes and holding water guns. Catching their attention, the bears squirted water at them, making Tsuna and Yamamoto shriek in delight as they ran under the stream.
Then the bears unanimously fired at Gokudera, who obviously looked like a prick in his suit and Gucci sunglasses. Especially when everyone else was in T-shirts and shorts or school uniforms.
"Off to the shooting booth!" Tsuna announced. He grabbed a fuming Gokudera's wrist and they made their way through the crowd of couples and kids. Then he made a beeline for the fairy floss stand, because no trip to the amusement park was complete without that fluffy goodness.
"How can you stomach that after all that chocolate?" Gokudera asked, frowning at Tsuna's poor life choices. "You'll get fat. Your metabolism slows down as you age."
"Candy satisfies whether it's hard, soft or wet and sticky," Tsuna drawled back with a wink. He raised his chocolate-coated fingers to his mouth and slowly sucked them clean. "Fuck, that was good."
Gokudera rolled his eyes and muttered something in Italian. Tsuna ignored him and tugged harder at his classmate's sleeve so they could keep up with Yamamoto's quickly retreating back.
"I wonder what the odds of winning are for that giant Magikarp," Tsuna mused, when they queued up at the booth with the gigantic gunslinger bunny. They watched a middle-schooler receive a rubber ducky as a consolation prize after missing ten rounds. "You reckon it's rigged?"
"It's achievable," Gokudera answered in a heartbeat. Tsuna could envision the calculations processing through the genius' head as the latter launched into an esoteric explanation which had something to do with motion physics. He even talked in the same droning voice professors used whilst lecturing.
When they finally reached the front of the line, Yamamoto immediately fired his shot at the Magikarp, happily disregarding everything Gokudera had said in the last ten minutes.
The pellet hit the stand beneath the stuffed toys. A large crying emoji appeared on the screen, telling him to try again.
"Sooooo close!" Tsuna whined, pulling a face. He took the plastic rifle from Yamamoto and aimed for the same prize. The pellet landed about a metre away. The crying emoji morphed into a poop.
"Alright, we've got this, Tsuna!" Yamamoto consoled, patting Tsuna on the back. Suddenly a cheeky grin formed on Yamamoto's face and he turned around, slinging the gun over his shoulder, pointing at the Magikarp backwards.
There was a pop and the ultimate prize collapsed. For a moment, there was gobsmacked silence. Then Tsuna and Yamamoto cheered so hard that a nearby baby started wailing in its pram.
"OH MY GOD," Tsuna screamed, his eyes bulging like fish.
"OH MY GOD," Yamamoto echoed, flailing his arms.
Gokudera sighed at their childish antics. "Shooting still targets is a piece of of cake," he said matter-of-factly. "Even a child could do it with his eyes closed."
Tsuna's mind flashed to Reborn and he hastily shoved it away.
"Reckon Gokudera's used a real gun before?" Yamamoto asked Tsuna, unfazed by the shade thrown in their direction. "Hey Gokudera, you should join my Overwatch team - I'm almost silver!"
"You wouldn't be failing all your exams if you didn't spend all your free time gaming, you idiot," Gokudera answered.
"Hey, let's line up for the rollercoaster!" Tsuna quickly interrupted. They were at the amusement park to have fun for goodness' sake, not to discuss exams and poor studying habits!
Gokudera glanced at the roller-coaster with the rickety wooden construction and almost vertical drops, and turned a shade of green. "Toilet," he muttered, turning away.
Just when Tsuna thought he was going to escape again, Gokudera shook his head and handed over his briefcase. "Mind that for me," he said. "I'll be right back."
By the time the roller-coaster cart pulled up and one of the staff gestured for them to step inside, Gokudera was still jerking off somewhere in the toilets. Tsuna and Yamamoto didn't want to risk the Valentino briefcase being stolen from the lockers, so they begrudgingly left the line.
"What's with that guy?" Tsuna groused as he attempted to call his classmate. It went straight to voicemail, much to his frustration. "Even explosive diarrhoea doesn't take that long."
Yamamoto shot him a sideways glance. "The food was fine. He shouldn't have food poisoning."
"Still. We waited half an hour for nothing." The bathroom stalls were empty, so they wandered around the park, searching for the asshole in a suit.
It was starting to get dark, and the mosquitoes were lying in wait for their next feast. Unease stirred within Tsuna when his next three calls also went to voicemail. Gokudera always answered his phone or responded within ten minutes if he was busy. "Do you think he left the park?" Tsuna asked quietly, eyeing the shadows amongst the trees.
"He'd surely take his belongings beforehand, right?" Yamamoto replied with a frown. He lifted the briefcase. "This weighs a tonne. His laptop's in here for sure."
Tsuna agreed with that line of thought. "Do you think...this has something to do with 'Smokin' Bomb Hayato'?"
Yamamoto nodded, his expression turning grim. "We should search for a place without cameras. The back alleys of the shops and restaurants."
"Near the bathrooms," Tsuna deduced. "I think there's a back exit."
"Should we alert security? The police?"
Tsuna was already texting Reborn. He wasn't sure about calling for help since they didn't know where Gokudera was and how effective cops would be against gun-toting mafiosi. But Tsuna had keyed the emergency number into his phone and was ready to hit the call button at a moment's notice.
They made their way to the dodgier part of the amusement park, where there was even a sign for parents to make sure their kids don't wander off alone. The alleyway was lined with rubbish dumps and surely enough, there was a barred exit leading to a smaller park with an abandoned playground.
"Woah, is that dynamite?" Yamamoto said out of the blue, pointing somewhere amongst the forest of trees. "Over there, Tsuna!"
Tsuna couldn't really see anything because he was too short, but he took Yamamoto's word for it. They ducked under the low branches, Yamamoto leading the way. Suddenly Yamamoto stuck out a hand, driving them to a halt.
There were four men in suits by the playground. Gokudera was facing off against three stocky men - mafiosi, Tsuna's mind supplied - his hands full of dynamite. Still unlit, but a cigarette was already burning between his teeth. From the reciprocal snarling and violent gestures, all four were out for blood.
And cowered behind Gokudera was a small child, clutching a gigantic red book with a lost, faraway gaze.
Tsuna and Yamamoto exchanged glances, the latter nodding firmly in understanding as Tsuna slipped a metal object into his hand. Tsuna tensed, his heart hammering in his chest as he prepared for action.
When one of the mafiosi reached for his gun, Yamamoto suddenly pitched the fidget spinner at his balding head with a sharp cry. The man snapped to attention at the sound, barely in time to dodge the spinning metal. That fraction of a second was all Gokudera needed to set his dynamite alight and shooting towards his opponents.
"RUUUUUUUUUUUN!" Tsuna screamed.