Chapter 10

Nuking the line

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So there were these two boys Quinn knew.

They were mostly harmless (so long as you kept your interactions in safe territories, i.e. no unprotected sex), adorably dopey (yes, both of them, including Chang. Scratch that, especially Chang), and so wrapped up in each other and retardedly unaware of it that it was painful to watch; because there was being oblivious and then there was complete and outright denial. Actually, denial made it sound like they had some form of acknowledgment towards their feelings; as far as Mike and Puck were concerned there were no intimate aspects of their relationship. In fact, the "relationship" factor was up for debate as well.

For the better part of a year Quinn had sat back and watched their interactions as her own private form of entertainment. Puck wasn't her problem anymore and she and Mike had never been close, so interfering…no, not necessary. At least not on her part. She knew attraction when she saw it (thought Kurt would be all over it, and shame on him, he missed it), knew from personal experience just how insufferably agonizing dealing with Puck could be - an irresponsible, attention-deficit toddler with daddy issues, and mommy issues - (Quinn was actually impressed he hadn't dropped out of school yet, wondered how much Finn had to do with that), and knew the fireworks that were to come would be nothing short of amazing. Mike was smart, but quiet (another word for repressed, by choice or by fear, it was irrelevant because it was still repressed) and while he tolerated enough eventually there had to be a breaking point. She had almost thought about warning Chang. He wasn't that bad, he didn't deserve the monstrosity that was Puck's advances (especially considering the fact Puck wouldn't be able to perceive them as advances), but then…

She had a thought.

Because maybe this would work.

Puck had a natural tendency to attract people who were his complete opposites; the only thing he and Finn really had in common besides genitalia and astoundingly low IQs was a love for football. Of course there was always the missing-father thing, but personality-wise Finn was more of a gentle giant while Puck was a spitting pit bull with displaced anger. Quinn had fallen for Puck's charms herself, knew how different their futures would be, what she had and what she lacked, but Mike-

Mike was way left field for Puck. Quiet, respectful, dedicated, strong values. Then add in the fact he was also male…

It was so brokenly wrong that it could only be a winning combination.

Now if Puck wasn't so busy screwing that up maybe they would be in the middle of planning their own teen wedding or making plans for college or trying to figure out how many children they would be adopting into their strangely-balanced household.

It started when Kurt left, like Puck finally realized the fragility of it all, that people could be relocated at any moment, and acted on this epiphany by being ridiculously overprotective of everyone. He was even, as best he could be, nicer to them (without actually giving the appearance of it, and they allowed him that delusion, since it made him feel better), with the exception of Mike.

Mike got the protection but none of the love. Quinn would go so far as to say Puck went out of his way to be critical of most of the things the dancer did, or give him a harder time (again, without looking like he was putting too much effort into it, because he was Puck and that shit wouldn't fly). It was cute, when Quinn eventually figured it out, because Mike was just a little bit extra special in Puck's world and the only way the stupid lug could process that, could actual handle those emotions, was with the 1st grade, pigtail-pulling kind of approach. So he went out of his way to make Mike mad, because he liked seeing Mike mad (or maybe that was just the only way he could interact with him), and Mike, bless him, reacted the way any normal person would, by assuming that he meant nothing to Puck.

(So it should always be noted that this was, in essence, all Puck's fault. In case anyone ever got confused, they could reference this fact.)

(It should also be noted that Mike cared enough to do whatever the hell Puck wanted, that was how badly he needed "respect", so yeah, clearly oozing out declarations of love right there.)

And when the time came and they were still being stupid, Quinn decided set things straight with the smart one of the duo, figuring if Puck actually got what he wanted (without ever having to actually ask, because he would never be able to manage that, the moron) Mike would eventually figure out what that he wanted it too and they would get their fairy tale ending and stop dragging the rest of them into it.

(It was entertaining, it really was, but enough was enough already.)

Quinn should have known that it had been too easy.

She should have known that if anything was going to stick it would have required a slide show presentation with plenty of visual effects, demonstrations, and an oral confirmation from both of the teens in question. Because they were boys and simply saying they were stupid did so very little justice for the actual stupidity they exhibited, because they could actually have everything they had wanted, everything they had built up towards, without ever being aware of it.

And then make stupidly depressed faces whenever it was lost, but trying to hide it, because they were boys and emotionally incompetent.

It made Quinn wants to slam her head into a desk the few times she could actually spend thinking about their problems (because her own life had become so uncertain and she hated it, and only used their life to escape that slow fall into depression).

They wanted each other, and hey, Puck was even putting in the effort to really win Mike over. But no, Mike wouldn't have it. And now, now that he had finally gotten with the picture? Yeah, now Puck was too busy trying to recreate the family life he always wanted with a woman that had at least ten years on him and a daughter he had agreed he was unfit to raise.

Quinn knew she was a hypocrite, because she wanted it too, but Puck had something, something good, and then he had just thrown it away and Quinn couldn't even keep something that she had set her sights on (and she should have been able too, she was Quinn Fabray damnit and that used to mean something).

Part of her wanted to hate him for it, did hate him for it, because he could run around and get people pregnant and try to steal atm's and cause a scene in New York City and still get everything he could have ever needed, opportunities the rest of them might never have, and then turn his stupid nose up from it because it didn't fit into some white-picket fence utopia that he thought he really wanted but was probably just using as an escape. Because if Puck had something to strive for that he couldn't really have then it was okay if he was always failing, because he wasn't supposed to succeed.

But if you gave him something within his reach-

She was probably over-analyzing this. Guys who drew pig-clowns for their one-year-old daughter didn't have the depth to manage such motives. Quinn was giving him too much credit.

Screw it, she didn't care why, she just knew she wanted her baby back and she needed him to do it, and if she wanted him at his best, at his most effective, she needed a certain Asian to dance his way back into the picture.

(There was a possibility that a small part of her still cared about Puck and legitimately wanted him to be happy, but no one was going to ask and she was never going to tell so-)

It was simply a question of how.

Quinn could try to talk to Puck, try to gently nudge that thinking cap into a high enough gear and aim it in Mike's direction, but just thinking that…no, now was not the time for subtlety. Now was the time for affirmative action, to take the bull by its horns, shake it as hard as physically possibly and bash its face in with undisputed facts so that there was no possible room for error or confusion.

Knowing her luck, and knowing Puck, this still probably wouldn't work.

She needed to get Chang back involved (with the utmost discretion because otherwise she'd spook him and they'd come too far, were too close-), it was the best way. To wake Puck up and then present him with his reward, no work, just "there you are" and boom, instant happy ending. Then he would be focused and they could get their baby back.

Okay, talk with Puck first, then deliver Chang unto him.

Shouldn't be too hard.

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Shelby let them babysit (Quinn couldn't have planned it more perfectly, she could bond with her baby and set Puck straight; two birds, one stone, absolute efficiency) and Quinn didn't wait too long before she started in on Puck, only allowing Beth to get settled (beautiful, perfect baby girl with wide blue eyes, the cutest, Quinn wanted to hold her but knew she'd only start crying-) before she talked to him, going for the direct approach.

"You should be dating Mike."

He looked at her, half-confused by the choice of topic and half =-confused by the fact Quinn actually cared enough about his relationships to bring up said topic (and she didn't but she needed this okay, she needed Puck to be on her side, not team Shelby, she needed him focused). He readjusted his grip on Beth (and Quinn would give him this, he was really trying and it was sweet, but just because Puck had his moments didn't mean he could be responsible. That was another plus of having Chang around, the responsibility could be unloaded onto him) and narrowed his eyes, not liking where this was going, but she continued before he could tell her to step off.

"No, you listen," she said, crossing her arms because she used to be Queen Bee and she knew how to make people focus on her. If she was going to bother herself with Puck's problems he had better freaking pay attention.

"You like Mike, which is cute, by the way." He frowned and she kept going, "But just to illuminate the depth of your relationship because clearly you are incapable of doing this yourself, you really, really like Mike." She tossed her hair over her shoulder, flippant but on task and Puck shifted, holding Beth closer to his chest.

Good, he was starting to get defensive, that meant she was hitting close to home.

This was going to be easier than she thought.

"And I'll admit it was entertaining to watch you try and figure this out, purposefully going out of your way to irritate him because hey, any attention is good attention right?" He opened his mouth to object but Quinn waved him off, because yes, he did have the mentality of a five year old and they weren't going to waste time arguing about that.

She smirked. "You made him so desperate and so needy for your good graces that he was wrapped around your little finger, willing to do whatever it was you wanted. And you know what?"

Quinn leaned her hip against the back of Shelby's couch, trying to appear more casual. Puck eyed her warily but relaxed some, and Quinn smiled slowly.

"You didn't abuse that power nearly as much as I thought you would."

Puck rolled his eyes. "Aside from the fact that most of your little speech is pure insanity, I would like to point out that I never wanted to get into Mike's pants."

"Of course," Quinn replied, grinning. "That was all Zizes."

The jock looked to the side, off in the distance where his mind drifted to thoughts of his ex girlfriend. "She was so badass."

Quinn sighed and failed to hide her eye roll. "She was basically a female you."

Puck frowned. "What's wrong with that?"

And now comes the explanatory portion of the evening.

Or, if she were to be exact, here came the more in depth explanatory portion of the evening.

Quinn dealt out the facts. "What's wrong with that is the fact you knew it couldn't last. You purposefully picked someone you knew you couldn't keep a steady relationship with."

That wasn't received well at all. Puck pulled back, personally offended by her suggestion, and glared. "Now hold on there blondee, there's a few things wrong with that particular statement, mostly being that Puckzilla is not a one-gal kind of guy and if he was there is no way he would lose someone that he really wanted." He shrugged his shoulders. "Clearly, Zizes wasn't the one. She was a super, ass-kicking beast-lady, but she obviously couldn't appreciate pure awesomeness incarnate."

Quinn was about three seconds away from strangling the stupid lug herself; regardless of whether he was holding their baby or not because that- it- dear God she could not properly describe this. He had addressed all of her points right there and he was still acting like the wounded party. Probably because it was easier to play the victim than it was to take responsibility for yourself, but saying Zizes didn't appreciate Puck when the stupid jock himself didn't appreciate Mike-

Okay, so this was going to take a little longer than she had previously anticipated.

She would attack this one point at a time.

"Alright first of all," she began, rubbing the side of her head. "Just look at yourself. Look at what you are trying to do. You are attempting to be a good father to our baby, you are trying to grow up and mature and can you honestly say-" She looked at him, beseechingly, because they had bypassed stupid such a long time ago. "-that you are still into one night stands? No real relationships; just love em' and leave em' and damn everything else?"

It was a minor victory that Puck began to look a little cowed, because it was bullshit and they both acknowledged that, so Quinn moved on.

"And second of all you-" She jabbed a finger at him. "Just like everyone else in the world, are scared. You're afraid of failing, you're afraid of taking a chance on something, something really important and having blow up in your face. You're afraid you'll get hurt, or humiliated, or end up losing what little you have which is, granted, understandable. Reasonable even. But instead of manning up you go ahead and throw it all away, because then guess what? You're the one that get's to be in charge, you're the one that's doing the hurting or humiliating and you get to remain perfectly untouched."

He looked confused again, but it wasn't overpowering, not enough that Quinn would have to stop and start over, so she just kept going while the iron was hot, while she still could.

"But you don't even realize that you're still losing, because you had something Puck, and you just threw it-"

"Will you shut up?"

Quinn stepped back, surprised by the sudden outburst.

Puck looked back at her with wounded eyes, serious, no more playing dumb. "Look I know I'm not that smart, okay Quinn? I get that, I won't ever claim anything different, but I tried with that guy, I did, I tried, and I can take a freaking hint. He doesn't want me and even trying in the first place-"

Oh. Oh.

That was what this was about.

Puck wasn't stupid, not as stupid or detached as he acted and he had known, way before Mike had known, and he had tried.

And what did he get in return for his efforts, as superficial as they had seemed?

Nothing. Rejection. Outrage.

It was strange to have Puck come out as the more emotionally aware of the two, that he had recognized what they had and accepted it (which could possibly be the reason why Zizes dumped him, because she was crafty and always aware of her surroundings, Quinn would have to ask her later) before Mike had. And though this would probably be the only moment Puck would ever show that weakness, that hurt, Quinn needed him to see what she saw, was Zizes saw (because she was a bitch but she wouldn't have thrown Puck to the wind if she hadn't thought Mike would be there to catch him, if she hadn't thought Puck would be taken care of because she had a soft spot for him).

And Quinn needed him to see it before things got too out of hand, because she had been cocky and had made some very bad time management decisions.

"Puck-" she started, but he cut her off.

"No, just, I get it." He shook his head, clutching Beth to his chest. "It was stupid; it was a dumb idea. Mike's a smart guy and he knew it was a bad idea from the start, always knew it was a bad idea-"

It wasn't about that damnit; she'd get Chang back later for doing this, for being so damn stupid, but right now-

She reached for his arm. "Puck you just have to show him-"

He jerked away. "What else am I supposed to do?" he asked, and Beth made an unsettled noise, as though sensing the tension, and Puck rubbed her back, instantly calming her.

Look at that, bonding. They had bonded.

Focus Fabray.

Quinn grit her teeth, trying to get back on track. Time was ticking away.

"Talk to him."

Puck glared at her, the most serious and hurt she had ever seen him. "And lose the rest of my dignity? The rest of my self respect?"

Puck had to put Beth down in her playpen because his arms were too tense, but he handed her a pink blanket, her favorite, and kept playing with her gently, even as he kept talking.

"Maybe I went about it the wrong way, maybe I wasn't serious enough, but I'm not going to-"

There were some knocks on the door and Quinn cursed, damn her cockiness, she had thought they'd be done with this sooner, hadn't known the wound ran this deep, hadn't known-

"Puck, I promise if you try-"

This was going to keep going wasn't it? It was like a bad soap opera, she couldn't just ask him to stop and even if she did he wouldn't care, he was just unloading, and he had a right to but if he only knew-

"No!' Puck jumped up and Beth immediately began to look more agitated again. He sat back down quickly, running a hand through her hair and threw a glance at the door, irritated it was interrupting his rant.

"I am done," he continued, bitter. "Mike Chang is a waste of time, he is a waste of effort, he is a waste of my Goddamn attention. Guy's a good friend, can really help out when you're in a pinch, great for back up and that's about it."

He stared at her, cold and bitter and Quinn felt the dread begin to build up in her stomach.

"Let's not try to give background pieces any more importance than they really deserve." He smiled, getting back into his joking, dumb-but-lovable Puck mode, his fallback, his armor, and he started walking towards the door, remembering the knocks. "We had fun while it lasted, but it's time to move on to bigger and better things."

He leaned against the door, smirk sliding into place and hammering the final nail into his coffin, he didn't even know, and Quinn didn't know how she could fix it, how to improve it at all.

She just knew she had to.

He shrugged flippantly, because he was Puck and he couldn't let anything hurt him, and look, look at nothing hurting him; not heartbreak or rejection or people closing him down. He was still there and strong and he would rather keep spitting out anger and abuse to others than ever let them know how badly he had been wounded.

Emotionally incompetent.

Quinn was starting to hate those words.

Puck unlocked the deadbolt, still looking over his shoulder and keeping his eyes locked on hers. "Not that it will be all that hard." He unhooked the door chain. "It's just Chang, after all."

And then he pulled it open, not bothering to check who it was, and a shaken Mike Chang stood on the other side, hands paused as though he were reaching for the door. There was a crushed expression on his face - the most crushed, if ever there was one - and Quinn felt like a total heel all over again.

Just dragging another one down with them. Pulling someone else into their steaming pile of negativity and loathing.

"I got a…I got a text from Quinn," Mike explained, because Puck was too surprised to say anything and Mike looked like he just wanted to bury himself in a hole somewhere, and the faster he got out of this the greater the odds of his success for that. He shrugged, eyes squinting (anger and abuse spat out on him). "You guys look busy so I'm…" he gestured behind him, refusing to take his eyes off of the floor (wounded, wounded, wounded). "I'm just gonna go."

Quinn would never be able to argue in favor of her scheduling abilities ever again, because even if her concern had sprung from her own selfish motives she had royally screwed up the lives of two other people who didn't really deserve it (and who she could quite possibly care for, if she wasn't an ice queen, if she didn't have to remain detached to survive).

Mike left before either one of them could say anything, though in his defense, neither one of them really had anything to say.

As hurt as he was, even Puck knew he had crossed a line, was still attuned with Mike enough to know that the dancer had not only heard every word, but taken it all to heart (another unfairness because it wasn't his fault, and it wasn't Puck's fault, it was just bad communication, with each other, with themselves).

Puck closed the door and sagged against it, heavy with defeat, and mumbled, "Well, shit."

Yeah…that sounded appropriate.

Shit indeed.

He didn't even bother glaring at her because she had arranged it, figured she was just trying to help, and Quinn groaned and ran a hand through her hair.

And now it was time for damage control.

She could fix this. This could be fixed.

Quinn glanced at Beth, at beautiful, tiny, baby Beth who was holding onto the edge of her playpen. She knew if she wanted any shot at having their screwed up little family unit with Puck and Mike and her and that tiny little baby that she would have to make things right again.

It was simply a matter of effort.

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Endnotes:

The original title of this chapter had been "Toeing the line" but after I finished writing it, the word "toeing" just didn't do the chapter justice.

So…that didn't go where I thought it was going to go. Just for the record. Had no idea that was going to happen. I thought a nice call back to "Effective Communication" would be Quinn's view on things, and then…well, things happened.

Sorry it took so long for me to update the story. Time, she just flew by, and I didn't realize just exactly how much had passed until I looked at my profile and saw how far down NaP, JaC was.

My apologies.

Much love to Rogue Ranger for messaging me after every chapter and pointing out all the errors. I do not know what I would do without you darling, and any and all errors that remain are strictly my own. And also, thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Spice of Life, blo0d StaiNed Rose, and happinessisHarryPotter. Reviews are love, and right now, really feeling it ;)

Until next time.