Chapter Ten: Like Father

Tuesday came and went without incident. John didn't hear from Claire, but he contributed it to her sister-in-law being home, and the fact that no one knew his home number. He was going to keep it that way too. By Wednesday, he was getting restless waiting for her to come back to school. He barely made it through the school day before he was off to Tom's. Tom knew what was happening, but the rest of the band remained oblivious.

They played for a few hours before John finally turned toward home. When he arrived at his house, he cursed colorfully and debated on heading back to Tom's. His parents were home, and in the kitchen screaming. He slipped into the house silently, hoping to get in unnoticed. He made it all the way to his room before his parent's words finally registered in his mind.

"You worthless whore! You lazy Bitch! What happened to you? I want this house the way it used to be when I came home!"

"Yea? Well I want you the way you used to be! Before you hit me! Before you took your drunk anger out on me you Worthless Abusive Jackass!"

The sound of the smack made John cringe and for the first time his parents' words echoed around in his head. The way you used to be, the way it used to be. He stood frozen to the spot, their words sending fear through him as his mind repeated them over and over and over again. Fear clenched his heart as he closed his door and locked it. He sank to the mattress in the floor of his room and stared at the wall, not really seeing it.

The way you used to be. His mind was taking him back, back to when he was little boy. His father had always been a drunk, but he hadn't always been angry. The first memory John had of his family was a happy Christmas, smiles and laughs and presents. And then his father had gotten fired, and his mother had taken on two jobs and everything had changed in an instant.

His heartbeat raced as his mind continued to torment him. What if he ended up that way? In his imagination he could see him and Claire standing in a kitchen, yelling at each other. He saw himself raise his hand and he gasped as he closed his eyes to lose the image. What if he became like his father? What if he hurt her…or worse…what if he hurt their child. The scars on his body from his father seemed to hurt all of a sudden, though he knew there shouldn't be any more pain. His eyes took in the room he was sitting in and suddenly he couldn't breath.

He was going to be his father. Just like his father. No! He wouldn't! He wouldn't hurt Claire, he wouldn't hurt their child! With fear and dread battling for control of his emotions, his mind made a rash decision, one he would regret for the rest of his life.

When Claire came back to school Thursday, the entire school seemed to know about the balcony incident. Claire's memory of it was still fuzzy but she could remember the important parts. She'd remembered falling in her sleep the night before and woken up screaming. Now, she was tired, still stiff, and wishing she had already graduated from school. June couldn't come fast enough!

Jewels met her as soon as Clark dropped her of. "How are you feeling?" she asked, hugging Claire gently.

"Much better," Claire answered smiling. In fact, her mood began to improve as the day went by, right up until lunch. She had been talking to Jewels as they moved through the food line and then turned to follow her to their normal table. But Jewels didn't move to their normal table. She headed right out the doors. Claire froze where she stood, staring through wide-eyes at the swinging doors. Jewels was going to sit with Brian.

Suddenly, she felt like everyone in the school was staring at her. She looked back at the table they usually sat at to see Stacie staring at her through her own wide eyes. Stacie's gaze turned toward the door and then back to Claire as a scowl began to form.

"Here," Andy's voice cut into her thoughts and she looked back to see him standing at the swinging doors, holding them open, "Let me get that for you."

Allison stood behind her, holding her tray in both hands, her knuckles white. Claire looked back at Stacie who was now standing, hands braced on the table as she waited for Claire's decision. Thankfully, Claire didn't have to make it, her stomach made it for her. Before she could react she dropped the tray and bolted for the bathroom, throwing up her breakfast and silently cursing the baby growing in her. It wasn't Jewels who was waiting for her when Claire emerged from her stall. It was Stacie.

"I heard concussions can do that." She nodded toward the toilet as Claire froze.

"Yea," she mumbled and moved to rinse her mouth and hands.

"I can't believe what Joshua and George did to you! Those two deserve to be in Jail."

Instead of responding, she swished water around in her mouth. Stacie took this as permission to keep talking. "I mean the nerve of those guys! Who do they think they are! Losers that's what. They only have a month in jail but they lost their scholarships for football and got kicked off the team. It's really sad, actually."

Sad? They'd thrown her over a balcony! They needed to be in jail a lot longer than a month! But Claire didn't say anything. "Oh and did you hear? Bender stole Greg's truck Friday night! They found it at the tow yard! Can you believe that juvenile delinquent? He should have been the one thrown over a balcony!"

Claire forced herself not to respond and instead was saved by the bell. She left the bathroom to find Jewels and Brian waiting for her. Stacie moved around them in the other direction to head to her class and, once she was gone, Claire followed after Jewels and Brian.

"I'm glad you're okay," Brian smiled sweetly at her and her heart clenched. Now Jewels had stepped away from the group, leaving her alone with them all. But hadn't she told John that she didn't care what they thought? And on that note…she looked around the cafeteria where the students were tossing their food and heading to class.

"Where's John?"

Jewels and Brian both shrugged. "Haven't seen him."

Claire frowned. He was the one she wanted to see. She wanted to tell him that she loved him too! That she'd gotten his letter. Above all else, she wanted his arms around her. But the rest of the day was strangely John-less. It wasn't until the end of the day, when she was shoving her books into her locker and heading out to meet her brother, that she saw him.

He had stopped at the end of the hall and was staring at her like a deer stars at headlights. She looked around her and, ascertaining that no one was watching, walked over to him. "I got your note." He looked down at her but didn't smile. "It means a lot to me."

"I've been thinking," he mumbled. "Maybe you should give the baby up."

What? She stepped back from him, completely shocked. "Excuse me?"

"It's not a good idea. We don't have jobs, you don't love me, I'm not sure I love you, and neither of our groups are going to accept the other."

"But the note"

"I was appeasing a crying girl." He seemed to make up his mind about something because then he looked up at her and smirked. "Come on, Princess. You didn't really think I loved you? You with your high society and…"

She slapped him before he could finish. "You lied to me!"

"Oh get over it, Princess. I figured you'd be used to lying since your so good at it."

"I've never lied to you."

Their conversation was getting louder, and suddenly gaining the attention of those around them. Claire didn't notice.

"You've lied to those friends of yours haven't you. You lied to the Breakfast Club when you told us you wouldn't ignore us. Yet you did. Can't take what you're dishing, Clary?"

"I thought, I though we were going to do this together. I thought that…"

"You thought wrong." He looked past her then and smirked. "One for the road." And he pulled her to him and crashed his lips to hers. She gasped and shoved away from him. He spun away from her and was out the doors in a heartbeat. Angry she turned to head out only to come face to face with Stacie.

"Wow," Stacie stated, eyes wide.

"Stacie, it's not what you think."

"You know, Claire. I could almost accept that from Andy and Jewels. But you? Oh how the mighty fall." Her eyes lit up. "Wait until everyone knows that Claire Standish not only fell for Bender, but was rejected by him!"

"Stacie! Don't do this! We've been best friends for ever!"

"You should have thought of that first." And then Stacie was gone, swinging through the doors to find her car and pulling her phone out of her purse.

Jewels and Brian had seen the whole thing. Jewels tapped her shoulder and Claire finally came out of the shock she was in. She turned watery eyes on Brian and Jewels and took a deep breath. "Jo…Bender doesn't want me." Jewels nodded and pulled her friend into a hug and Brian patted her back. Together, they walked her to her brother's car.

Jewels promised to call her that night and Claire closed the door, turning her attention to the road. It only took a few minutes for Clark to speak. "Dad called."

"Oh?"

"Just now."

"What did he want?"

"The school nurse called him. Apparently student confidentiality only goes so far and she wanted to tell him the results were wrong and your pregnant."

Could this day possibly get any worse? "He thinks you should stay with us until you deliver. And then give the baby away for adoption. That way no one else has to know."

She closed her eyes as her already broken hurting heart tightened even more. "No." was all she said and her brother didn't press the matter. He simply nodded and remained silent. When they arrived home, she went up to her room, climbed into bed, pulled the covers over her head, and cried herself to sleep.

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