A/N: OMG I AM SO SORRY YOU GUYS. My laptop died on me, twice, and I had to get a new one. PLEASE READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY. Okay so normally I don't do this, but I have to. If you have ever read my profile, you know that I have a significant amount of mental illness. For the past four months I have been having audio hallucinations which wasn't a big deal because I grew up having schizoaffective disorder and heard and saw things that weren't there for my whole life until I hit about twenty three when it tapered off. I stopped having visual hallucinations but the audio ones never really went away. Over the past four months they have been steadily increasing and as of a week and a half ago I began having visual hallucinations again as well. We're working on fixing it, but I have to put this story on a TEMPORARY (I promise it is only temporary until my life settles back into some semblance of normalcy) hiatus after this chapter. If the story was complete already I would just say fuckit and keep posting but I still have a few chapters left to write, and right now I can't really write much of anything. I've tried. I figured this chapter would be a good place to temporarily put this on hold. Again, I am so incredibly sorry, you guys. If I had my way none of this would be happening. I'll be honest, it's terrifying, and worrying, but I love you all and I hope you enjoy this chapter. There will be more ASAP, but for now, it's on hiatus.
Sesshōmaru: Explanation
"Shut up, before I kill you."
The clay doll looked offended, but Sesshōmaru just held back a furious growl and beckoned his brother forward. Inuyasha wisely took Kikyō off in another direction, and he heard Kagome sigh softly – she was probably relieved that the situation hadn't degenerated into something worse. If it weren't for his half-brother's attachment to the dead miko, Sesshōmaru would have killed her ages ago, as she was a threat to the pack. However, today her presence was almost welcome. This would be an ideal time for him to talk to Kagome about the courtship, so he turned back to his pack, nodding at the two adult ningen, Kirara, and Ah-Un. "Protect the children. This Sesshōmaru has need to talk to Kagome."
That being taken care of, and ignoring the slyly amused looks the taijiya and monk were sending Kagome, he gently took her hand and led her away. It didn't take too long to find a suitable spot, and he sat down against a tree, knee bent up and arm extended out along it, claws flexing in the night air. She sat down across from him, looking at him curiously, her head tilted slightly. "You wanted to speak to me? Um… About… About what?"
"Courtship," he responded simply.
Her reaction really was adorable as she squeaked, blushed, and looked at her hands in her lap. Then she stammered out, "Um. O-okay. W-what about it?"
He tilted his own head, peering over at her as he asked her, "Do you understand the implications of yōkai courtship, Kagome?"
She looked up at that, then slowly shook her head, "Sango told me that, um, there was claiming involved? It sounded, well, different when she said it, though, so I'm not sure exactly what that means."
Sesshōmaru nodded, then readied himself, silently thanking his father for explanations he had unwisely assumed would never be needed. As he spoke, he spoke in a formal tone, to quash his slight case of nerves and to be sure that he did not leave anything out. "What the taijiya was talking about…. It is not like the ōkami's claiming of your person. First, this Sesshōmaru must explain about instincts. Yōkai, in most cases, are ruled by their instincts. Not emotions – which are stronger in yōkai than in ningen – or thoughts, although the stronger a greater yōkai is, the more capable they become of imposing logic onto their natural instinctual responses. It is not easy, or even reliable, but the stronger one becomes, the easier it is not to allow instinctual responses rule a yōkai's actions. Instincts are the core of all yōkai, the basis upon which we operate and function. Without instincts, there are no yōkai.
"Claiming is what happens when a yōkai meets someone that their instincts recognises immediately as their ideal partner – their other half, if you would. It is not as daft as the idea of love at first sight, but rather the very soul of a yōkai recognising its match. Instinct comes first, the heart follows it. When this Sesshōmaru deduced Inuyasha's intentions towards you early on, he found his instinctive response to be innately possessive, and upon thinking over it, it was not the possessive feeling he would have simply because you were his first friend. It was deeper – and stronger – than that. This Sesshōmaru's instincts Claimed to him that you were his ideal mate. Claiming of instincts – it does not make a person into chattel, into an object to be repossessed by a stray wind. It makes them someone to be treasured, protected, cared for, and adored in all ways possible. Do you follow, so far?"
Kagome nodded slowly, "So what you are saying is, the reason that you had an unusual interest in me from the start was that your very being, your instincts, recognised me as their ideal other half, but you yourself did not understand the reaction until it became clear that Inuyasha was attempting to make me favour him, at which point you took a close look at your reaction and found out logically why you were so agitated with his actions?"
He gifted her with a small smile, nodding, "Exactly so, Kagome. This Sesshōmaru, once he realised that his instincts had Claimed you, immediately initiated courtship on his side of things. Not that he was immediately in love with you – the heart follows instinct, yes, but it takes more time than that, more getting to know. Instinct paves the way for the heart to follow, rather. It was not until this Sesshōmaru initiated and begun to apply his own particular means of courtship – for every yōkai finds different things important to them and so every yōkai courts differently – that feelings deeper than friendship began developing for you."
Sesshōmaru paused to allow her to speak if she wished, and she blushed in a fetching manner, looking down at her hands interlaced in her lap, "I… I recently came to realise that I was developing feelings towards you as well, which you are no doubt aware of, considering my actions not too long ago."
Ah, yes – the day in which Kagome became flustered at every single interaction he initiated with her. That had been highly amusing – and highly gratifying as well. So he continued, "That only leaves one question then, which is this: understanding what courtship in this case means, how far it goes into this Sesshōmaru's very being, do you accept his courtship? As in, do you wish for it and wish to eventually become his mate?"
He waited for her response, as patient as death itself.
Kagome: Acceptance
Kagome fidgeted lightly. Well, ningen had instincts too, and her instinctive response was to respond with "Absolutely!", however, there was a small issue that had been bothering her, and that needed rectifying before she could give him his proper response one way or another. "T-the only problem is, I… I'm ningen. I would never force somebody I cared for to watch me die whilst they stay young, especially not somebody I loved deeply, which is inevitably going to happen even if I were to not accept it, Sesshōmaru."
He immediately shook his head and gave her one of his gorgeous smiles. "A mating bond ties the lifespan of the longest lived being to that of the shorter-lived being, in order to prevent death of any kind to separate them – when one of a mated pair dies, the other does as well, so that they may be joined together in the afterlife, and when reincarnated, they will be born fairly close to one another, as the two souls become one existence. Now that your fears of causing this Sesshōmaru emotional pain have been allayed, precious Kagome, what is your response?"
Oh Kami he just called me precious, what on earth did I ever do to deserve someone like Sesshōmaru in my life?! Well then. That rather boded well. So Kagome smiled vividly, boldly meeting the golden eyes of the daiyōkai she was beginning to fall in love with – and that she had already loved dearly before now – and responding with, "Willingly and with understanding of your intentions, I accept your courtship, Sesshōmaru."
He opened his arms and she stood up, walking over to him and sliding into his lap, resting her cheek against his chest as he held her close to him, growling contently. My answer will always be yes, Sesshōmaru. Always.