Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

Shattered

Chapter 10 – Truths

Dean watched as Sam drifted off. He hated this new wall that seemed to be between him and Sam. He also knew that he was the one who had created most of it. But Dean didn't know how to break through. He looked at his brother and once again realized the toll that all of this was taking on him. "Don't worry Sam…we'll get through this…I'm going to make it right somehow…just don't leave me."

By the time Dean reached the emergency entrance at the hospital, Sam was in bad shape. His brother was shaking so hard he thought he was having a seizure. Sam's breathing was rough and his skin was too pale. As Dean watched his brother taken to the triage area, he found himself alone.

Dean sat in one of the cheap plastic chairs and stared at the paperwork they had given him. The words were blurred as one word kept coming to mind 'alone'. That's what he would be if Sam didn't make it. He blinked as he felt himself spiraling out of control. He couldn't lose Sam; his brother was his life line, his reason for enduring the black void that had been threatening to swallow him since his father died. Damn it, he had started to believe that Sam was the reason he had been brought back and now, now he might lose him too.

Dean jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see a doctor standing in front of him. "Mr. Carlson?"

"Ah…yeah, just call me Dean. How is Sam?" Dean took a deep breath; his life depended on the next words spoken by this man.

"I think he'll be ok, but right now he's on his way to surgery. The knife wound nicked the spleen and he has some internal bleeding. He is slightly hypothermic, which actually may have saved his life…it slowed down the bleeding. He's actually a pretty lucky young man; another 30 minutes and it would have been a whole other story. Do you know what happened to him?"

"I'm not sure, I found him this way and he claimed he really didn't remember too much of what happened. I figure it was some lunatic that attacked him and left him for dead up in the mountains."

"Ok, but you'll need to let the police know where you found him so they can do an investigation. I'll show you where you can wait for your brother." Dean sighed as he followed the doctor to yet another waiting room.

Dean decided he better let Ellen know what happened. He didn't want her sending in the troops because he failed to check in. After he brought her up to date and promised to let her know if they needed anything he set in for the long wait.

Dean wondered where Gordon was at this moment. Part of him really had wanted to kill the man, but he knew that Sam wouldn't approve. His brother had a moral center that sometimes astounded him. Sam had been surrounded most of his life by the ugly things in life and yet somehow, he always managed to find the good. He even managed to find the good in Dean, when Dean had trouble finding it.

As time moved slowly, Dean thought back about what had happened since Sam had come back into his life. He realized that Sam really was his heart, his soul, his home. Even when Sam wasn't around, he could feel a calm settle over him as he remembered their times together. There was no excuse for the way he had been treating Sam lately. He had been taking out his anger and his fear, the fear that he couldn't fill his father's shoes and protect Sam against what was to come. But how could he protect Sam and yet let him know that he respected him as a man, not just his little brother.

"Damn it Dad, you took the easy way out. You kept him at arms length so that you could do what had to be done without having to deal with your feelings for him. I can't do that to him Dad, he needs me to be there for him like before…he needs me to listen and help him handle what's coming. But you knew that he needed me and not you going forward, so you made the choice. I think I understand, but I wish you had just let me know sooner. We could have found another way Dad…we could have found another way."

Dean looked up as the door opened and the doctor walked in. "Doctor, how is my brother?"

"Like I told you before Dean, I think he's going to be fine. We've repaired the damage that the knife did to his side. We have also set the bones in his hand and put a new cast on it. We will want to keep him here for a couple of days to make sure that there is no infection and it will take him awhile before he is feeling 100 percent again. But with time, he will be fine."

"Can I see him?"

"Sure, he's in room 203. Just give them a moment to get him settled. He's pretty heavily sedated, so don't be surprised if he doesn't wake up right away."

Dean thanked the doctor and headed for his brother's room. He stopped outside the door and took a moment to get his game face back in place. But that almost slipped when he entered the room and saw his brother surrounded by machines and looking too still to be alive. "Sammy?" Dean said quietly as he approached the bed. He noticed the bruises on his brother's face from his own hand. They stood out as a stark reminder of how much Dean had been hurting his brother.

"Sam, I don't know if you can hear me, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know you've been hurting too and I've screwed things up. But when you're ready to talk, I'll be here for you and I'll listen. Now you just need to rest and get better." Dean pulled a chair closer to Sam's bed; he would wait as long as it would take for his brother to come back to him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam was fighting the darkness that surrounded him. He heard his brother's soft voice, but he couldn't respond. He was too tired in both body and soul to respond. He kept hearing Gordon's words as the gun was aimed at him. Could he be right? After all that he had been through, would he eventually turn evil?

Sam felt himself floating in space. He wondered what it would be like to just stay here. Nothing could harm him while he was here, there would be no more worrying about the demon or feeling the pain of his brother's rejection. Maybe he should just give in and let Dean move on with his life.

"But he won't move on son."

"Dad?" Sam called, looking for the familiar face. He smiled as he saw his father walking towards him through the fog.

"Yes Sam, I heard you were thinking of giving up…you can't do that son. Your brother needs you now more than ever."

"But Dad, I can't reach him…he's shutting me out and thanks to you, he now thinks he needs to take care of me for the rest of his life. How could you do that to him Dad?"

"Sam, I didn't have to tell him to take care of you…he'd do it anyway. Taking care of you is as natural as breathing to your brother. But we don't have time for this now…you need to go back to him son; you need to go back now."

Sam heard the familiar order in his father's voice. He never thought he'd be so glad to hear that tone, but somehow it made him feel better. This was an order he could follow…he would return to Dean.

Dean watched as Sam moaned in his sleep. He reached out and placed his hand on Sam's forehead, gently moving the hair from his face as he murmured comforting words to his brother. As he watched he could see Sam's eyes beginning to move. "That's it Sam, come back to me. You need to wake up Sam…let me see those hazel eyes of yours."

Dean smiled as he saw Sam's eyes slowly open and blink in confusion. "Where?" Sam croaked.

"You're in the hospital Sam. You're going to be fine. The doctor says you'll be a little sore and it will take time for you to heal. But you'll be just fine."

Sam licked his lips as he searched his brother's face. He remembered his brother's anger on the mountain and was a little afraid he'd still be angry with him. But all he saw was concern on his brother's face. "Gordon?" Sam asked, hoping that Dean hadn't killed the man.

"Don't worry Sam; your friends have taken him on an extended vacation. But you know we are going to have to watch out for him going forward. Who knows how many people he is going to tell your secret to." Dean watched as Sam looked away, his lower lip trembling.

"Sorry Dean, I just made your job harder." Sam closed his eyes and let the darkness take him back to where words couldn't hurt.

TBC

Raven524: WOW…thanks for all the wonderful reviews on this story. The site is not sending out alerts again, but as soon as it is working, I'll try to respond to you all. Until then, Thanks you all really made my day!