Warning: Just the usual insanity... but fiiirst...

INVADER MUFFIN DREW FAB PICS! XD Isn't she pretty? XD THANK YOU FOR THE PICCIES!

http://rosewily.tripod.com/fab1.bmp

http://rosewily.tripod.com/fab2.bmp

http://rosewily.tripod.com/fab3.bmp

Tell me if you have trouble with the .bmps!

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Chapter Nine: Rio To The Rescue! Sortof!

Rio peered about, glancing skyward as the skyscrapers towered high above him. He walked down the street, oblivious to the stares he was receiving.

"Such tall buildings!" Rio observed. "I wonder if they're compensating for something?"

"Um... dude?"

Rio stopped and glanced over his shoulder, curiously, to see a human peering at him. The human glanced about, then moved closer to Rio and stared at him intently.

"What is it, native?" Rio asked.

"... Are you... an alien...?" the human's eyes widened.

"YES! I am RIO of the Special Forces!" Rio posed dynamically and pointed at a distant star. "I STRIVE FOR PEACE, JUSTICE, AND NACHOS!"

"...," the human's expression shifted from awe to pity as others around them shook their heads, sadly.

"What is the matter, native?" Rio blinked, vaguely aware that his speech didn't have the effect he had hoped it would.

"... It's allright, dude...," the human soothed. He slowly reached in to his pocket and pulled out a card. "Everything's okay... here," the human added, handing the card over to Rio. Rio accepted it, staring blankly at it.

"What is this... P-Sy-chiatrist?" he inquired.

"Someone who can help you with your...," the human paused, then smiled sweetly. "... problem,"

"My problem?" Rio repeated. "... He can help?"

"Yeah... good luck, okay?" the human smiled, patronizingly, and then patted Rio on the shoulder. He turned and walked away, sighing and muttering about 'that poor guy'. Rio blinked again, then looked at the card.

"... Hm... perhaps this P-Sy-chiatrist can, indeed, save Fab... I shall make a note to see him later!" Rio muttered. "But... anyway...,"

Rio snapped about, puffing out his chest.

"ONWARD TO... FAB!"

------------------------

"Auuugh...,"

"There's no use stressing over it," Agent Chupacabra pointed out, calmly, as he worked behind the counter at the video arcade. He fiddled around with the soda cans and blender, idly. "I mean, look at me. I took an unintentional swan dive in to the dumpster but you don't see me whimpering,"

"How can you be so calm!?" Agent Draconian whimpered, massaging her forehead as she leaned against the counter. "There was another crater at the playground! ANOTHER one! And we didn't even see who did it!"

"So what?" Chupacabra snorted. "We'll find them sooner or later,"

"... You just don't get it, do you," Draconian growled. "You're USED to failure! I'm not!"

"We haven't failed," her comrade retorted. He paused, then tilted his head. "And what do you mean by that?"

Draconian arched an eyebrow, looking at him levelly.

"The werewolves?"

"Oh, come off it!" Chupacabra spat. "How many times are you going to rub that in my face!?"

"Until you learn from it," Draconian replied, coldly. Chupacabra fixed her with a gaze, then snorted.

"Don't be so uptight," he grunted. A grin creeped across his face as he suddenly displayed two cups filled with a rather disgusting looking glop. "Try some javacola. It does wonders!"

"... I am NOT drinking that," Draconian sniffed.

"Aw, what's wrong? SCARED?" Chupacabra purred.

"No, I just don't want to kill myself," she replied.

"Imagine you frightened of a DRINK," Chupacabra chuckled.

"I'm not!"

"Prove it,"

Draconian regarded him, icily, then grabbed the cup. She glared at the substance, then took a deep breath and downed the entire cup. She swallowed, her face twisting slightly at the taste.

"See! That wasn't so bad, was it?" Chupacabra nodded, approvingly.

Draconian opened her mouth to say something, then snapped it shut. She covered her mouth with her hands as her face turned a disgusting green. With a whimper, she scrambled from the seat and ran out of the room as fast as she could.

Chupacabra blinked and tilted his head as the sound of retching came from the bathroom. He blinked, then snorted and adjusted his shades.

"Huh... SOMEONE has a weak stomach,"

----------

The hideous, ear piercing sound of rusty metal shrieked through the air as Ms. Bitters slowly wheeled her wheelchair down the ramp to the hospital. Nurses and patients alike cringed and shied away from her. She paid them no mind, her shoulders hunched as she made her way towards the street.

"Hospitals... nothing more than an attempt to extend our miserable lives... giving false hope... and try to deny that we are all doomed!" she hissed. She stopped and whirled to hiss at a nurse who walked too close. "DOOMED!"

The nurse squealed and backed away, trembling.

Ms. Bitters' lips curled up in to a sneer.

"Doomed...," she repeated, then returned to wheeling towards the street. She made it as far as the sidewalk as she muttered to herself. "Doomed... doomed... doomed... doomed... doo-,"

"FAAAAAB!"

"-med?" Ms. Bitters snapped up just in time for Rio to impact with her. Ms. Bitters flew upward, wheelchair and all, as Rio continued to race down the sidewalk as if nothing had happened. Totally oblivious to his impact with the teacher, he rounded the corner and disappeared.

Ms. Bitters crashed against the sidewalk, twitching and looking rather irritated as the wheelchair landed in a mangled heap beside her.

"... Doomed...,"

----------

Dib glanced about, warily, as he made his way towards the windowsill. The lawn gnomes were still, leaving him well enough alone as the human drew ever closer to the house.

"Proof, eh?" Dib muttered. "Why is it that everything I try to do requires proof?"

Dib slowly stood up to peer through the window.

"All I need is ONE PICTURE... and yet... I can't seem to-,"

"HI!"

Dib squealed and fell backwards, momentarily stunned, as Fab leaned out the window to peer down at him.

"Now that I have greeted you...," Fab paused, then narrowed her eyes as a vicious glint shimmered. "I MUST GIVE YOU A HUG!"

Dib shrieked as Fab leapt out of the window at him, wrapping her arms firmly around his waist and squeezing. The human thrashed for a few minutes, unable to dislodge Fab but generating quite a lot of attention as humans stopped to eye them oddly.

After a few moments of hugging, Fab stopped and peered at him with a serious expression.

"You're late," she said.

"Late...?" Dib paused to stare at her.

"For your wedding," Fab replied.

"... WHAT?!" Dib choked.

"C'mon!" Fab giggled, hefting Dib up and draping him over her shoulder. Dib flailed in protest as Fab leapt through the window once moore to land in the kitchen. "Your bride's waiting!"

"I'M NOT MARRYING ANYONE!" Dib roared.

"No," Fab agreed. "You're not marrying ANYONE. You're marrying a monkey,"

Dib stopped and glanced over his shoulder, eyes wide.

"... huh?"

The Scary Monkey hooted and hollered, banging his fists against the table. GIR giggled happily, covered in ribbons, as he made 'wedding invitations' with crayons and glitter. Fab grinned and glanced back at Dib, who looked utterly bewildered.

"... I'm not marrying a monkey," Dib muttered.

"Yes you are," Fab beamed.

"No... I'm not," Dib replied, more firmly.

"Yes you aaaare!" Fab sang.

"No. I'm not," Dib grunted.

"Either you marry the monkey or I bite off your face," Fab giggled as she set Dib down in a chair by the table. Dib blinked repeatedly as his glassess fogged up. Fab turned to grin at him, revealing her razor sharp teeth. "It'd hurt,"

"... ...,"

"A lot," Fab added.

"...,"

Dib sighed.

"Fine... I'll marry the monkey," he grumbled.

"YAY!" Fab giggled, clapping her hands. "It's going to be a lovely wedding!"

"...," Dib glanced out the kitchen door in an attempt to find Zim. However, all he could see were thousands and thousands of pink bunnies. Somewhere, under the sea of pink fuzziness, was Zim. Dib almost pitied him.

"NOW THEN, TIME FOR-!" Fab began. Suddenly, she paused and blinked. She turned on her heels and leapt out of the window with a mighty bound. Dib blinked, incredilously, and glanced at GIR. GIR drew a bright red heart on a card, then proceeded to eat said card. He giggled.

"...," Dib sweatdropped.

Suddenly, a loud squeal could be heard from outside. Dib jumped to his feet and ran to the window, peering outside to see who was the newest victim to Fab's hug attack. A loud curse marked Zim's own attempts to get to a window, though the bunnies no doubt hindered his attempts greatly.

Fab beamed happily as she nuzzled the newest victim, then looked up with her bright gold eyes. Staring back, bewildered and blushing violently, was Rio. He sat on the sidewalk, utterly surprised as the smaller Irken clung to his body. His eyes widened as his antennae pricked with confusion.

"... Fab?!"