X-Men Termination: Part X
Things have been very quiet since Kurt Left. There have been no visits from the X-Men, nor any unexpected visits from the Terminators. Deadpool and I are sitting in the armoury, shining the guns and swords. There is nothing else to do. God, I never thought I would miss having evil robots trying to kill me. I want something to happen. Anything.
"Hey, Mirror".
"What is it Yo-Yo?"
"Green scaly guy here to see you". What? It can't be. What the hell is he doing here? I rush to the lobby as fast as Quicksilver and find exactly who I was expecting.
"Canuck!"
"Mirror, old friend. I've heard that you've been jumping aboot fighting robots. Eh?" Deadpool teleports in next to me.
"Aboot? Who the hell says aboot?"
"He's a Canadian mutant. Why do you think we call him Canuck?"
"Canadians! They are so weird, saying things like aboot and eh".
"Wade, WE'RE CANADIAN!"
"Eastern Canadian. We're practically Americans".
"Ignore this self hating northerner. What brings you to our HQ, Canuck?"
"I'm here to bring you home".
"Canada?"
"Utopia. Mutant kind has seceded from humanity. All mutants are called to our new homeland". Wait, what? We're abandoning the humans? Did I miss something?
"So, we're trying the Genosha thing again?"
"Nothing like that. Mr. Summers has assured me that it will work this time. You just....." Did he say what I thought he said?
"WHOA! CYCLOPS told you to come get me?"
"He's the leader of the entire mutant race. Haven't you been watching the news?" The world has gone insane.
"We don't have a television".
"You get the newspapers, right?"
"Not since Wade used their delivery truck for target practice. Cyclops thinks he's Magneto? When the hell did that happen?"
"The humans want to exterminate us. Our survival depends on our races taking separate paths. Come on, Utopia is a mutant paradise. You no longer have to worry aboot mobs of angry humans trying to lynch you".
"I'm staying".
"What?"
"I've got things to do here. Lives are at stake".
"Human lives!"
"What the hell is wrong with you? Protecting people is the reason that we joined the X-Men. It's the reason we helped the Canadian Army fight the Skrulls".
"That was before Osborn. Are you sure you won't change your mind?"
"You might have given up on humanity, but I haven't. I never will. God, what was the point of all those years studying at the Institute?"
"I'll ask the Professor the next time I see him. He's in Utopia too. Pixie, bring me home". Canuck disappears in a bright pink flash. The X-Men have abandoned the humans. They have abandoned their principles. Scot has turned his back on everything we believed in, everything we fought for. What the hell is happening to the world?
"Welcome to the world according to Normie!" Wow. It's like Deadpool could hear my thoughts.
"My God, Wade. It's like the whole planet has lost its mind".
"Every day is like that for me".
"Yes, well, you're you".
"Hells ya I am".
"Osborn has ruined everything. If I ever get my hands on him....." Before I can finish that thought Osborn and his so called Avengers crash through our front door. Wade and I jump over the railing to take them head on.
"Speak of the Devil".
"Not quite, but he IS just as crazy".
"Ha! Good one Mirror. Which ones do you want?"
"Dibs on Venom, Bullseye, and Osborn. Especially Osborn!"
"A OK! WOOHOO!" Osborn raises his hands and I raise telekinetic shields to protect us, but he does not fire his repulsors.
"Wait, I'm not here to fight. I just came here to.....Is that Nick Fury?"
I look over my shoulder and spot everyone at the top of the stairs. Almost everyone is armed. Jerry, Alex and Sebastian aren't holding weapons because they don't need them. Daisy has her gauntlets, Yo-Yo has her staff, and JT has his fire chains. Sarah, Derek, John, and Cameron are carrying rifles. I have no idea what kind they are, but they do look cool. Catherine has her arms, which are as sharp as razors. Fury has his big laser canon, which can do some serious damage to these super-powered nut-jobs. John Henry is probably guarding Savannah. Of all the robots in the world, why did we end up with the one that is Catholic?
"I sure hope that is, or I'm hallucinating again. I'm not hallucinating, am I?"
"No, Wade. That's Nick Fury. And that's the ego-maniacal jerk-off that ruined my world and drove my entire race into exile".
"Well, this is awkward. I'm here because I need your help. I didn't even know Fury was working with the muties. Why are you working with the muties?" Even when he asks for help, he is offensive. I want to punch him so hard that my fist goes through his borrowed helmet. Borrowed....he STOLE that armour from Stark! He stole everything from Stark and the Avengers. I should kill him. Fury's glaring at me. Can he guess what I am thinking?
"Sorry, Norman. But the mutant is working with me. We have bigger problems than your crazy schemes. Robot problems". It amazes me how Fury can always keep a level head. He never loses his cool, never makes a mistake, and never panics. He should be the one in charge, not Osborn.
"SkyNet, right?" WHAT! I create a magnetic field and use it to drag Osborn in front of me. Then I begin to crush his armour, with him still in it. "ARGH, YOU'RE CRUSHING ME!"
"That's the point, you idiot. Tell me what you know about SkyNet".
"ARGH! AAA!"
"TALK!"
"AARG! THEY OVERRAN MY HELLICARRIER. I NEED HELP TO GET IT BACK. STOP CRUSHING ME". I drop him flat on his armoured ass. Daken and Bullseye must not have liked that, because they both attack me. I teleport to evade Bullseye's arrows and then smash Daken against a wall, repeatedly.
"Attacking a man with magnetic abilities while your bones are coated in metal. You are not the brightest bulb in the tree, are you?"
"GRR! I'M GOING TO KILL YAAAAA!" I get caught up in the moment, and forget about everything else. Fury manages to bring me back to the present.
"Enough! We've got a hijacked Hellicarrier out there and we have no idea what our metal friends intend to do with it. As much as I hate to say it, you need to stop bashing Osborn and his lunatics and start tracking that carrier".
"Right, big picture. All right, I'll take care of the Hellicarrier. You just contact Dum Dum and tell him to support me".
"Wait a minute. You can't....."
"Shut up, Osborn. You are the bane of my race and I would sooner team up with a ham sandwich than with you".
"And that's a BIG deal, because HE'S JEWISH". Leave it Wade Wilson to make light of any situation.
"Why did you emphasize that part, Wade?"
"Because of the ham thing. You see, ham..."
"I know! God, why am I friends with you?"
"Because I make things interesting".
"True".
"Hells Ya! Go me!"
"Fine, whatever. Look, just get Dum Dum and his Hellicarriers. If any of you crazies try to follow me, I WILL KILL YOU! Understood?"
"I like him". I just got complimented by Bullseye. I do not know how to feel about that.
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall...won't you let me join this brawl?"
"No, Wade. You keep an eye on the crazies. You are actually the sanest guy here that is immune to death".
"Just when you thought it couldn't get scarier. Good luck, break a robot".
"Believe me, I will".
Two hours after trying to crush Osborn like an egg, I am trailing his Hellicarrier over the ocean. Dum Dum's Hellicarriers are preparing to hit it from three different directions. If this works, I should be able to destroy this flying fortress. Or at least disable it. I wonder why the US Air Force hasn't scrambled yet. They must have detected this thing, and it's headed straight for San Francisco. That's the only.....logical....target. OH MY GOD. It's headed for Utopia. They are going to wipe out the mutants. Cyclops! What have you done?
"Mirror to Dugan, open fire".
"What? We aren't in position yet. We need....."
"Fire now! Or mutant kind is history".
"Gotcha. You sure you can take that thing down on your own".
"You just keep them busy, I'll handle the ship".
The three friendly Hellicarriers fire volley after volley of missiles at Osborn's floating death machine. Just as I had predicted, the Terminators direct all of their Hellicarrier's weapons to intercept the missiles. While the defences are busy shooting down the missiles, I fly in next to the hull. Using Danny Rand's Iron Fist, I punch through the hull and enter the Hellicarrier. Unfortunately, there are a dozen Terminators on the other side of the hull.
"Um, is this the way to the bathroom?"
Terminators must not have a sense of humour, because they all pulled out automatic weapons and began to shoot me. I block the bullets and begin to smash my way through the bulkheads. Every time a smash through one wall on this thing, there are a dozen more Terminators on the other side ready to shoot me. There must be hundreds of these guys running around. No wonder Osborn lost the ship. Don't they ever run out of robots?
Ok, focus. I have to find a way to bring down this ship before it reaches Utopia. I need to find the engine room, or the coolant pumps or......a large room full of nuclear warheads. This will work. I unleash a burst of Phoenix Fire and detonate all of the warheads simultaneously. A telekinetic shield protects me from the blast, but the explosion is so bright that I can see it through my eyelids. So this is what a hundred nuclear explosions looks like. After I have regenerated my retinas, I discover that the Hellicarrier has been vaporized.
"Dum Dum, please inform President, or Chancellor, or whatever the hell Cyclops is calling himself that an army of evil robots is trying to destroy his country".
"Ok. Why aren't you telling him?"
"I have nothing more to discuss with him, or any of the X-Men. Mirror out". I drop my communicator into the ocean and fly back to our headquarters. Osborn eagerly awaits my report.
"Well?"
"I destroyed your ship".
"You...WHAT?" I super speed my way over to him and crack his helmet open with an Iron Fist punch.
"You didn't tell me there were more NUKES on that ship than in the ENTIRE US NAVY! All of the mutants could have been killed and you didn't tell me. You didn't even alert the Air Force. You wanted them to die". Stumbling back to his feet, Osborn stares me straight in the eye and says:
"You can't prove any of that". That son of a....
"Get out of here. All of you, OUT!" As Osborn and his team leave the hotel, Deadpool walks over to me and whispers:
"So those are our protectors".
"No wonder we all die".