Chapter 10

I felt like I was being sucked from the world I knew, and into a place where time had no meaning, where every concept I was familiar with was moot, where no sane or rational thoughts existed.

It was my wedding day.

Nudge got me into the gown. Seeing myself in the mirror, I started making bizarre peeping noises.

"Calm down, Max," she whispered. "Remember, you're getting exactly what you've wanted for your entire life."

"Uh-huh," I said.

I was in my room with all of my bridesmaids. Nudge was my maid of honor, dressed in a sleek red dress, while the others—Ella, Angel, and Max II—were in gowns a bit more poofy.

Airy was my flower girl, wearing a dress identical to mine and bearing a beautiful basket of flowers. For much of the preparation, she never stopped hugging me. Her feet, as usual, never touched the floor.

Iggy poked his head into my room. "Yo, Max?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah?"

"Original Max," Iggy clarified.

Max II looked like she wanted to dig a hole in the ground. She was utterly humiliated. "Don't worry about it," I whispered to her as I passed. "What's up, Iggy?"

"Well, I can't seem to get rid of Jeb. He wants to walk you down the aisle."

I scowled. "Tell him not a chance in hell."

"You sure?" Iggy said.

"Yeah," I said. "In fact, tell him I don't want to see his face at all for the rest of today."

"Can do," Iggy said. "Hey, I was just thinking, you know what would be super-hot? If you made out with your clone."

Everyone in the room paused to glare at him at that point. He shrugged. "I'm just sayin'," he remarked, before departing.

Keegan materialized at my side, already in her bridesmaid dress. "Hi, Max," she said.

"Oh, hey, Keegan. Thanks for coming! How was last night?"

Her expression became suddenly vacant. "Oh, Max, it was everything that was promised and more. Niles is with Fang. I don't want to take away from the joy of your day, though."

"Keegan, buddy, your joy is my joy," I assured her. "You will give me details."

"Okay," Keegan said.

"All right. Nudge, how's my hair look?"

Her head snapped to me. "Oh! Um… yeah, let me work on it."

She sat me down in front of the mirror and started braiding my hair. Her concentration and enthusiasm seemed kind of forced.

"Are you okay, Nudge-ster?" I asked.

"Yeah, fine," she said. "I was just, um… you know, taken by surprise when Iggy came in. I wasn't expecting to see him before the ceremony."

"But… Nudge, you see Iggy every day."

"I know," she said. "There's just… there's just… I don't know, Max, like Keegan said, I don't want to take your thunder. It's your day."

"I haven't got thunder, trust me, Nudge," I said.

"Still, I… you know, never mind. Forget I said anything."

I thought about that. Nudge didn't want to steal the thunder of my wedding day. "Nudge, are you pregnant?"

She made eye contact with me in the mirror, shocked, then nodded slowly.

I spun around and gave her a hug. "Oh, Nudge, that's great, baby. Airy's gonna have a little cousin!"

Everyone began to crowd around Nudge to congratulate her. "Stop it, stop it!" she said. "See, this is what I was talking about. This is Max's wedding day. Forget about me. And Iggy doesn't know yet, anyway. I'm going to be the one to tell him."

"Right," Keegan said. We all felt ourselves pushed away from Nudge and back to… well, me. I wasn't sure I liked that.

"Hey, Max," said a small voice from my doorway.

In the mirror, I saw Brigid. She was dressed the same as my bridesmaids.

"Who invited Pudding?" I asked the room at large.

"Max, don't judge me, please," Brigid said meekly. "I'm… feeling a lot better." She tapped her own head with her fingertips. "Much better. Please, I'm not trying to intrude. I'm just wondering if you'll forgive me."

I sighed. "You know, Brigid, Fang cares about you. He trusts you. So, I have to do the same. But… my bridesmaids, they're… well, they're people I love. If it's what Fang wants, you can be here for the wedding, but it just wouldn't be right for you to be a bridesmaid."

Brigid blinked slowly. "Okay, Max. I'm sorry."

She retreated.

"It's time, everybody," Angel said. "Airy, you're first."

Airy fluttered out the door and down the hall. I knew that the conference room was set up in some way or another… I hadn't been told exactly what it would look like. All the preparations were the work of Nudge.

Max II left the room next, then Ella. They walked side by side. After them came Angel, who met up with Gazzy near the end of the hall. Keegan was next, meeting with Niles, and finally Nudge with Iggy.

I was all alone. I started wondering if I should have taken Jeb up on his offer. At least then I'd have somebody to help me move along. But, no. I could do this by myself.

As soon as all the bridesmaids and groomsmen were in place, the music changed. I left my room and began to walk.

The conference room was dazzling. Pink roses everywhere, a great big wedding arch at the opposite end of the room.

There, under the arch, was Fang. My Fang.

Yeah, I realized. My Fang. In a matter of minutes, he would be mine forever. Yeah, baby, yeah. Take a look at who I get.

Fang looked perfectly composed. I had a feeling that I did not, but I knew that Fang was just as freaked out as I was. At least, that's what I told myself. There's still no real way into his head.

I joined him under the arch, near the doorway. As soon as the music stopped, Fang gasped and whipped out his pistol, pointing it over my shoulder.

"Fang!" I blurted. "You're wearing your gun to our wedding? Jeez, dude!"

Then I turned to see what he was aiming at, and I wished to God that I was packing heat too.

Entering our compound, dressed in a black tux and a top hat, was an all-too-familiar and very, very uninvited guest made of rubies, diamonds, and marble.