Reasons

"Damn it."

Everything he planned to do came crashing down around him all at once. With those three stupid words, he had to drop absolutely everything. His plans, his feelings, his hands that were wrapped so tightly around Ventus a moment ago. It was like the world had once been the most confusing place for his entire life and now everything made sense. At the same time, nothing did. What was he supposed to do now?

Ventus slowly backed off, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. As he did so, the doors opened, the three Keyblade Masters exiting in it's wake. He muttered an instruction to Ventus, ordering him not to turn around. He was sure the blonde didn't want the others to see him like this. Vanitas's eyes narrowed, catching Kairi's glance and held it there. It took a moment, but she nodded, catching what he was trying to say without words.

Go away!

Kairi grabbed Aqua and Sora by the elbows, pulling them back into the foyer. She shoved them back in wordlessly, the two of them giving her cries of confusion, asking for an explanation. She offered Vanitas a smile as she closed the door, allowing him to focus his attention back on the tense boy before him.

What did he ever do to deserve a friend like Kairi? She was selfless. She understood him almost as well as Ventus. She never asked questions he didn't wan to answer. He appreciated her more than he could ever tell her, if only because he lacked the courage to.

This was familiar. The anxiety, the feelings of rejection, the disbelief that he had actually done what he had been wanting to for so long. It was even in this very spot. What made Ventus so sure Vanitas would balk at his actions? Why was he always so terrified when he did something like this?

He's going to leave.

He hates me.

I'm so scared.

Everything hurts.

Don't you DARE cry!

Laugh it off. It was a joke. MAKE it a joke.

He really didn't understand how much his emotions effected Vanitas. Around them, Unversed twisted into being out of the darkness. It was amazing what kind of negativity his other half could wrought upon him. It made him feel like he was the the one that should have been scared out of his wits.

"Ventus," Vanitas began slowly. "Don't be so scared."

"I'm sorry." His blue eyes, still wide, focused on a weed growing through the cracks in the stone. What the hell was he apologizing for? He could hear the wavering in his voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"Shut up." Ventus quickly closed his mouth. Vanitas could see pearlescent drops hanging on his lower lashes. Damn it. Why was he crying? "You don't have anything to apologize for. I should be the one whose sorry." Vanitas ran his fingers through his choppy hair, blowing air between his lips. "I'm sorry you fell in love with a monster like me."

"You're not a monster!" Ventus finally looked up to face him, tears still clinging to his lashes, refusing to fall. "Would you stop saying you are?! You're not!"

"I can't love you, Ventus," Vanitas said firmly. "Even if I wanted to, I can't. It's not something I'm capable of because of what I am."

"I don't care," Ventus shook his head, the tears flicking away from his eyes. "Just because you're different… just because of how you were born and what you are… it doesn't make you a monster. It's your actions that define what you are."

"We can talk about that later," Vanitas put a hand on Ventus's head, ruffling the flaxen locks. "Don't cry. Aqua wants to say goodbye. We shouldn't keep them waiting."

"H-Huh?"

"We're staying here, right?" Vanitas verified with him. How come Ventus was always ruining his terrible plans? He just wished he was able to follow through with something like this, at least once. The last horrible plan he had that actually was executed resulted in all of the Thirteen Darknesses being dispersed, the vessels finally breaking free of their hold, and the loyal ones to Xehanort finally coming to an end. He wished he had Ventus there to stop that one, too.

"We are?"

"Yeah," Vanitas nodded. "When Aqua comes back, you'll finally be a Master."

Slowly, that smile that never failed to make Vanitas blush crept onto Ventus's face. He was happy. He wiped his eyes, allowing himself to laugh through a choke. "Yeah… then the two of us will leave. Together."

"That's the plan?" Vanitas asked. Ventus nodded to verify. "Sounds like a good one. Now, come on. Buck up."

Vanitas helped wipe Ventus's eyes, preventing another onslaught of hurt to show. Now that Vanitas thought about it, he'd never actually seen Ventus cry before. Sure, his eyes would water, but he'd never actually cried. Vanitas never wanted to hurt him, but it seemed that was all he did. He wished he could pick up the courage to leave again just so that he couldn't hurt Ventus any longer.

"How come?" Ventus asked, shaking himself out when his eyes finally dried.

"How come what?"

"How come you changed your mind?"

Vanitas huffed. "You fell in love with me. I have to take responsibility for that."

Ventus laughed, his puffy eyes glistening with each movement. He threw his arms around Vanitas, the fear dissolving into warmth. Vanitas buried himself into the crook of the blonde's neck, holding him as tight as he could. He couldn't love him. He couldn't return those feelings the other felt so strongly, his entire sense of self was overwhelmed by it. Vanitas assured him he wasn't mad or angry or scared of Ventus's feelings with a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I love you, Vanitas." Ventus breathed.

"Shut up," Vanitas groaned, feeling heat rise in his cheeks all over again, but for an entirely different reason. He didn't think he could handle this. He didn't deserve love. He didn't deserve this much devotion. He didn't deserve Ventus. His heart was racing. Ventus's relief washed over him, drowning him. He wanted to collapse right where he was. Damn it. His own emotions were so overwhelming; why did he also have to feel Ventus's?

Ventus chuckled, pulling away after he finally regained his confidence.

The two of them bid their friends goodbye and good luck. Vanitas could barely make eye contact with Aqua, his chest still aching at the discovery of how she truly felt about him. He knew her well enough. That concerned glance was a direct flashback to before, when her and Terra openly distrusted him. He thought he fooled her well enough. He never wanted to start anything, and that still rang true. He bit his tongue.

He flinched under Aqua's touch. She placed a hand on his shoulder, proving he was now too tall for her to naturally place it on his head like she used to. He held back a growl, stopping himself from shoving her back. She was condescending in nature, her know-everything attitude that was endearing only moment before grated his nerves. "I'm sorry if I upset you," she offered, glancing around at the monsters that surrounded them.

Vanitas hissed at a Flood that made an attempt to escape the area. It recoiled, retreating towards Kairi's Caninergetic to inspect it. Vanitas kept his eyes in the flood. "I don't like being imprisoned."

He couldn't let her know the negativity was Ventus's. She would grow too suspicious and meddle further into what was their business. What was their secret. He shared more than he ever wanted to with her, and if there was one thing he wouldn't, it was what he showed Ventus away from prying eyes.

"I know," her smile was not a happy one. She sympathized with him after sentencing him. Of course she would. Aqua knows best.

He hurt. He hated how she was keeping up this charade. Why would she lie to him? Why would she pretend he was just as much a brother to her as Ventus was when she so clearly had no faith in him?

"Just… promise me you won't go out there." A quick glance to her and he noted her hardened gaze. His teeth ground together, causing an ache in his jaw and temple. It hurt too much to look at her.

He tore his gaze away from her. "I won't leave, Master Aqua."

The way he spat the title was too familiar. Vanitas had never been a good actor. He hoped she would take it, not as a way to express he knew how she felt, but at his dissatisfaction of learning he was once more trapped.

She wrapped her arms around him. He let her hug him tightly, his heart racing with anger, resisting every urge to shove her off. He awkwardly placed a hand on her mid-back, giving in to the small part of him that wanted to wish her well, that wanted her to come back safe and sound from this battle. It would take a long time, and this would not be easy on any of them.

He grunted, finally pulling her off. "You're being clingy, Master Aqua."

"I know," she gave him that genuine smile, one that he'd seen countless times. At least, he believed it to be genuine. It was the same smile she so often gave Ventus. "Don't get into trouble, okay? Look out for Ven."

"Should I call you mother, now?"

Vanitas had heard Kairi being compared to a mother several times. He had never had a mother of his own, but he only assumed, from what he learned of Kairi's and Sora's mothers whom he had met on several occasions, the term suited Aqua pretty well. It was supposed to be an insult, but she beamed, rumpling the short side of his hair. This time, he knocked her hand out of the way, turning away from her to signal he was done. She needed to go.

Aqua moved on to Ventus who had finished his goodbyes with Sora and Kairi. The two turned to Vanitas, Kairi throwing her arms around him. He wasn't afraid to hold her in return. She was soft and small, something that felt nice in his arms. Like a teddy bear. He lifted her off her feet, squeezing her tightly. Another person he wasn't afraid to show affection for.

She whispered in his ear, "Is everything alright?"

Vanitas pulled back to show her his smile. He nodded. "It's great."

"You gonna tell me what that was about?"

Vanitas tilted his head thoughtfully, frowning a bit. He glanced to Sora. Somehow, looking at the face that he mimicked, he didn't feel resentment. He didn't feel afraid to say what he wanted to in front of him. The brunette raised his brows, his trademark grin encouraging him to speak. Vanitas was well aware Kairi reported back to Sora of their discussions often, unless he requested otherwise. Sora showed no change in attitude towards him, no matter what he knew.

Sora, whose face had matured beyond Vanitas's, finally seemed like an adult. Sure, he still held a wonder only a child could, but the way he carried himself was strong. He was more careful, more calculated than he ever had been. The fight with Xehanort helped him grow and a shift brought about a maturity His unruly hair was cut short, kept out of his face and out of the way. His sunkissed skin shone in the setting sun, those blue eyes only contrasting further, so bright against his dark clothing and hair. He was tall. Still shorter than Riku, but taller than Ventus, Vanitas, and Roxas, even if the four of them directly reflected the other. Sora and Roxas stood at the same height, still appearing the same age. Looking to those two, it was certain what kind of future Ventus and Vanitas had in store.

So, Vanitas changed everything he could to ensure he did not look anything like Sora. Vanitas had never been vain. He didn't care for appearances until he had gotten sick of outsiders asking if he and Sora were related. He grew out his hair in certain places, but buzzed it short along his right side. An undercut, the boy that inspired his style explained. It was a pierced and tattooed stranger he accosted in Twilight Town and with a quick picture snapped by Ventus, Terra did his best to copy it. Vanitas felt the hair was enough for now, thinking maybe tattoos were an option for the future. Definitely not the piercings. Then again, Ventus had found himself with a silver earring dangling from his left ear, shaped like the Master's insignia. But Vanitas could find no reason to pierce his skin willingly.

Vanitas still had not had a thin or hardened face like Sora's. There was still softness in his cheeks, frown lines forming instead of smile lines. Sora's eyes crinkled in the corners while Vanitas only scowled. His own default expression was moody, brooding, not ever too happy. At least, that was how he liked to appear. It was good to keep other people away with a face like that. Sora was so natural to attract attention, it was clear how Vanitas wanted to be seen apart from him.

Still, Vanitas found no reason to want to hide anything from him any longer. His only aversion to the boy was in appearance. Other than that, he was tolerable to be in the company of. He was kind. He made him laugh sometimes. He never blossomed a Positive Unversed from him like Kairi had, but he certainly came close.

"Another time," Vanitas promised her. True, he was upset from the discovery of Aqua's suspicion. But the Plucked Luck that pawed at his heel was proof not everything he felt was terrible. "I promise."

"Wish you guys were coming with us." Sora was authentic as ever. He leaned into a hand, rubbing the back of his head. "But, you know, I think it's a good idea you two stay here. I wish I could get Kairi to, too."

"I'm never getting left behind ever again," she stuck out her tongue childishly. Even at twenty-one, she wasn't afraid to be childish from time to time. It must have come from being close to Sora.

"There's no arguing with her," Vanitas reminded him, as if Sora needed it.

"Nope!" She beamed. "Don't miss us too much while we're gone, okay?"

"Who would miss you?" Vanitas sneered. "You're too nosy and pushy."

"I miss you already, Van." She embraced him again.

He wished he understood his relationship with her better. Then again, he found it easy to compare it with the way Sora and Riku were. When Vanitas first began to get to know those three, he was certain Riku was Sora's favorite. But, after he witnessed a kiss with Kairi, his couldn't quite comprehend their relationship to one another.

When he asked why they were kissing, they stared at him. He explained that what he knew of a kiss was that it was shared between favorites. "Isn't Riku your favorite, Sora?"

Sora blushed furiously, causing Kairi to burst with laughter. Sora tried his best to deny it. "No, no!" he exclaimed. "No, Riku's my best friend! I don't like him like that!"

"Oh, no." Kairi laughed hysterically. "No, Riku is definitely Sora's favorite."

She explained that while sometimes there were favorites, there were also those that you loved. Those that you loved weren't always your favorite, even if it hurt a little. But, at the same time, it was healthy. It helped expand relationships, growing your friendships out to further horizons.

Vanitas wondered in this moment if it were possible to have two favorites. One to be loved by so furiously it brought him to his knees and the other that he could depend upon for everything. He hoped it was still fair to Ventus. Then again… Ventus did have Terra and Aqua. While Ventus would always come first to Vanitas, Kairi was pretty fucking important to him.

"Don't get engulfed by the darkness, Princess." Vanitas ordered firmly.

She kissed his cheek, a gesture he had grown familiar with by now from her. She was affectionate. She was not afraid to express herself with Sora in public, even if he was shy about it. She held hands with Riku, sat on Naminé's lap, pulled Xion onto her lap, slept against Vanitas, and kissed Sora often. She was not afraid to demonstrate how she felt.

"We'll stop by when we get the chance," Sora assured him. "We gotta make sure you two didn't kill each other."

Vanitas met Sora's fist with his own. Aqua pulled back, looking at the two of them. Her eyes trained themselves back on Vanitas, narrowing, her smile fading slightly. She was concerned. She didn't think he was fit to fight alongside them. She feared he would betray them. Vanitas could only return the look with one of ice and frost. She opened her mouth, almost to say something before she thought better of it. Finally, he put a word to that look she was giving him: Desperation.

What was it she was going to say to him?

They departed, leaving the two of them truly alone. Vanitas heaved a heavy sigh, allowing himself to drop to the ground, the powerful emotions having wiped him out. Couldn't Ventus take it easy for once? The blonde got to his knees beside him, threw himself at him, sprawling the both of them across the flagstone. There, they laid in silence, taking in the utter and complete aloneness the two of them would have on this world for the next several weeks. The Unversed interacted with each other, providing the only sound in the otherwise silent courtyard.

"Ventus… take a look around." Vanitas finally said, his voice slow and smooth. The blonde sat up, glancing over the Unversed that kept them company. "Do you see the negativity?" There were only a handful of Unversed in total. About half of them were negative. Ventus nodded, frowning. "They're borne from your feelings." Vanitas pulled himself up, ruffling the flattened hair on the back of his head.

"Mine?"

"Yeah," Vanitas nodded. "The negativity I felt from you created them. All of them are yours."

"Then… the positive ones…"

Vanitas leaned against Ventus's shoulder, his cheeks warming. "I was… I was really happy to hear you say that. I don't know why. My heart's trying to escape my chest and everything is really hot but I'm really happy."

Ventus's grin spread wide, nearly splitting his face in half. He threw his arms around Vanitas, planting kisses on every inch of him that he could reach. Was he trying to force his heart out of his body? He allowed Ventus's attention to consume him, the love he felt finally out in the open, a weight off his chest that had been lingering for so long. Vanitas curled into himself, not sure if he could handle much more. Why were Ventus's feelings so very strong?

"Okay, okay," Vanitas shoved him away. "Stop."

"No." Ventus ducked under his arms, planting a kiss on his lips. "I'll never stop."

"Not that I mind," Vanitas confessed, continuing his attempts to pull away. "But I'm hungry."

Ventus laughed, pressing one last lingering kiss against his lips. Vanitas pushed back, eager for his taste. As they finally settled, they pulled themselves to their feet, took care of the Unversed, and moved to the kitchen to prepare dinner for themselves. The long day took a toll on both of them. As they cooked, they wondered what exactly it was the Masters went off to fight. The mass of Darkness Vanitas sensed on the way to Destiny Island was like nothing he had ever felt before. It pressed against him on all sides, begging to engulf him, as if it wanted him to become one with it. And, for a brief moment, he considered it. Darkness entices Darkness, after all. It could have been a place for him to belong.

But Ventus was by his side. If there was any place he truly belonged, it was with him. He kept him grounded, level, with promises of a life free of hurt. There would be no doubt this would be where he stayed the rest of his life, if Ventus allowed it. From the soft song he exuded, the gentle sway of his hips, and the sporadic kisses he left as they prepared their meal, he had a feeling Ventus felt the same way.

It was like a breath of fresh air that breezed through whenever the two were on this world alone. They were free to be themselves, free to express themselves without the prying eyes of their overbearing guardians. They were playful. Vanitas was crude. Ventus scolded him, humor shining in his eyes. They were constantly touching, only moving away when needed. Even when their meal was complete, they sat beside each other instead of across, like they usually did when eating meals. Across from them, Terra and Aqua would be sitting beside each other. Even in their absence, they couldn't bring themselves to change their assigned seating. It was just too far from each other.

"So," Ventus started, a slight frown marring his features. Vanitas hated when Ventus frowned. "What makes you think Aqua doesn't trust you?"

Vanitas sighed, setting his utensils down. He leaned back in the chair, leaning his head back to consider his answer. How would Ventus ever understand? Vanitas closed his eyes, feeling the ache once more. How could she not trust him after all these years? He thought of her the same as Ventus did: An older sister figure who only wanted the best for him. It hurt to realize she still considered him the enemy.

"Just… the way she looked at me." Vanitas replied, forcing his tone to stay even. It wasn't working so well. "When she said, 'You need to look out for each other,' it was more like… 'You need to look out for me.'

"I think they figured out what it is out there," Vanitas reasoned. "It was calling to me, Ventus. Because of what I am. Because Darkness only wants to grow. She doesn't trust me to not follow my instincts and join it. She left you here to make sure I stayed put. That I wouldn't fall into the darkness again."

Ventus chuckled uncertainly. "So… you were going to leave and solidify her assumptions?"

Vanitas shook his head. "No… I was going to leave to prove she was wrong."

Ventus kissed his jaw. It was amazing how affectionate he was when the two of them were alone. He pressed his lips against his neck. "How are you so sure, though?" he mumbled into his skin.

"I just…" Vanitas pulled away from him. He was being so distracting. "I just know."

"If that's the case… then we're definitely leaving after my Mastery Exam," Ventus assured him. "Just the two of us."

"Where will we go?" Vanitas mused.

"Everywhere!" Ventus exclaimed, throwing his hands exuberantly in the air. "There's no place we can't go! I want to see all the worlds! I want to explore and protect and uphold my duty as a Keyblade Master!"

Vanitas leaned into his hand, snorting. Ventus had big dreams and they were so close, just within reach. Vanitas would help get him there by any means necessary if it meant he would continue to smile. He dared not think what they would do if Ventus failed his Mark of Mastery exam. They would be trapped here once again, until the time was right for Ventus to try again. But Ventus was powerful. Vanitas knew without a doubt Ventus would pass. What need was there even for an exam? To prove himself? He recalled Eraqus had no plans to even administer an exam until Xehanort urged him to keep up with tradition. Couldn't Aqua break it, regardless? Then again, Ventus would have been the first Master to become one without an exam as far as Vanitas knew.

After dinner, the two cleaned up and moved to the lounge. Ventus picked up a new book while Vanitas watched a movie. He laid on his stomach, sprawled across a couch while Ventus laid on top of him, wedged between him and the back of the couch. Ventus had always been excitable and distractible but when he lifted up a book, his demeanor changed drastically. Everything else in the world fell away but the words. As far as Vanitas knew, Ventus was the only one of their friends who read so enthusiastically. Not even Aqua read as much as he did.

In fact, half of the books in this room were read by Ventus. The shelves that lined one of the walls, reaching taller than the roof of the library, were full of training manuals and a history of the Keyblade. Its history was meticulously kept by Aqua. Even something as dull as fighting theory captured Ventus's attention if it was put into words. The particular book he held at the moment was an adventure novel. Fiction.

Vanitas needed to detach himself from his surroundings. He enjoyed watching movies when he got the chance. It wasn't often. Their movie player and television were basic, unlike what Roxas had in his house. There wasn't even one in this world until Vanitas brought one here. He was watching something Roxas had loaned to him, promising him he'd enjoy it. He wasn't so sure. It wasn't exactly the movies that he liked, to be honest. It was the feeling that came with them. The feeling of being immersed somewhere else, giving himself the ability to become listless. The whole lack of feelings was what entranced him with getting lost in the pictures.

He found it particularly hard to distract himself from his feelings. His mind kept wandering to the boy on his back. They still hadn't really discussed Ventus's feelings. What it meant for them. What would change. What wouldn't. What would be good and what would hurt. There was definitely going to be hurt.

Ugh.

"Ventus," Vanitas muttered, his speech slurred from being pressed against the couch cushion. The blonde hummed to inform him he was listening. Vanitas hummed, too, trying to find the right words for his question. "Are you… Are you really okay with all this?"

"All what?" Ventus asked, not looking away from his pages, not even a note of concern in his tone. Only certainty. Whatever it was, he was okay with it.

"You know… loving me. Even though I can't love you back."

"Hm…" Ventus set the book against his chest. Vanitas turned his head towards the back of the couch, burrowing his chin into Ventus's hair. "Well, yeah. I can love enough for the both of us."

Vanitas twisted out from under Ventus, pulling him into his arms to get themselves comfortable. "But why do you love me?"

Ventus shrugged, setting the book down on the side table carefully, marking his page with a bookmark. He never dog-eared a book or set it down, spine facing upward. He yelled at anyone who did. He believed in the preservation of these books, if nothing else.

"That's a hard question." The blonde admitted. "There's a lot of reasons I love you."

"Then… are there reasons you don't love me?"

Ventus shook his head. "Nope," he replied, his voice colorfully cheerful. "I love everything about you. I love you. I love all your faults and vices. I love all that makes you good. I love every inch of you, Vanitas."

His feelings were so powerful. What could Vanitas do about it? They echoed within him, making Vanitas wonder if this bliss was what it meant to love someone. He didn't know. He didn't want to ask.

"For how long?"

Those blue eyes locked onto his gold ones. He didn't even miss a beat, not a hint of humor in his tone: "My entire life."

He almost believed him for a moment. Vanitas laughed, "Sure. Especially that time in when I pushed you to follow Terra or I beat you within an inch of your life."

The second comment was referring to a battle Ventus and Vanitas had during the last few weeks of Xehanort's War. Ventus and he fought, the blonde losing spectacularly. Vanitas was not looking for forge the χ-blade that time. Just some good, old fashion pay back. At least, that was what he told himself and one of Xehanort's vessels. He supposed it was pay back, in a way. He was reluctant to admit it was because he felt as if the blonde was torn away from him once more and still refused to acknowledge him, even after all was said and done in their first round.

Vanitas remembered the moment clearly as soon as he brought it up. Ventus collapsed into the dirt, face down. Vanitas had been weakened himself, barely able to stand on his own feet. He kicked the boy into his back to look at him. Ventus's breathing grew shallow. Blue eyes peered upwards at him through blood-caked eyelids. His mouth opened, trying to say something before the darkness took him. His head lolled to the side, his Keyblade vanished. He was done. Vanitas raised his Keyblade above him to finish him off. His hands shook. He couldn't do it. For a brief moment, he believed if Ventus was still alive there was a chance to get him back! He dropped the blade into the dirt, narrowly missing Ventus's face. He fell to his knees, holding tightly onto Void Gear. Hurt overwhelmed him. He felt such an unbearable need to bring this boy with him, it brought tears to his eyes. For some reason, he needed him to stay. He would have, too, had it not been for the Warrior of Light that interrupted them. Someone came upon the scene, running for them. Vanitas, knowing he couldn't take one more fight, fled.

A sheepish grin cracked across his face. "You're right," he sighed. "But it really feels like it, sometimes." The boy's cheeks dusted with pink as he pressed his forehead against Vanitas's. "I think it started in Sora's heart, to be honest. I remembering thinking, 'I don't ever want to leave his side' all the time. Every time I saw you during the war, my heart would race. I thought it was anxiety because I shattered us and knew you were angry about it, but… I don't think that was the case. I was excited to see you. I missed you. And, I guess, shortly after you came to live with us… I realized I loved you."

Vanitas couldn't hold himself back from taking the blonde's face to pull him inward. He smashed their lips together, not nearly fast enough, if only to simply breathe in his existence. Ventus didn't pull away as their lips forged and reforged together to map out each other's terrain as he adjusted his position to sit on top of the other. He straddled over Vanitas, knees pressing into his hips as Ventus struggled to stay fully on the couch. Ventus brushed a hand over Vanitas's cheek, snaking his fingers through the dark hair to tangle themselves within. Vanitas gasped for air, giving Ventus the chance to take another attempt to explore.

Their tongues mingled, this time slow instead of furious. Vanitas wanted a chance to savor this moment. To really get to know Ventus and what it meant to be loved by him. He leaned upwards, trying to close every bit of space they had between them. Vanitas ran his tongue along the inside of Ventus's bottom lip. The blonde let out a slow sigh, his blue eyes growing hazy. He pulled back, burying himself into Vanitas's neck. He left open mouth kisses trailing down to the base, where he closed his teeth around flesh. Vanitas flinched, not quite expecting it. It didn't hurt by any means, but the tongue that followed surprised him. Ventus suckled at the skin, his tongue running across it gently.

It was a strange sensation, but not entirely unpleasant. Heat rose to his cheeks as the blonde worked his skin until he couldn't take it anymore. Panting, he dragged Ventus back up to meet him. Between kisses, his continued his interrogation.

"So when you kissed me…?" he started, his skin lighting on fire.

"It was because I loved you." Ventus replied breathlessly. He pressed himself against him, taking another kiss from the blonde.

"When I beat you senseless?"

Ventus shook his head. "I wasn't mad." Another kiss. "I was scared."

"Of what?"

"That I lost you for good."

Vanitas pulled Ventus's shirt down, desperate to attack his neck the same way Ventus had. He cursed the high collar as he heard the fabric stretch, threads pulling with the vicious movement. When he was satisfied with the amount of skin he needed, he pressed his lips against it, trailing his tongue across the vulnerable skin. Ventus only pressed him closer, tilting his neck to allow easier access. His teeth bit harder. His lips sucked, raising this skin from bone and sinew. He trailed to the collar, where he made his work until Ventus was panting against him, his face flushed with something akin to anticipation.

"Does… does that mean…" Vanitas fixed Ventus's shirt, almost hesitant to ask his final question. His face burned with the recollection of todays events. What he learned still burned in his memory something he was sure he'd never forget. "Does that mean you want to have sex with me?"

This was not a question he would take back. He would not assure Ventus with a kiss that his answer would not make him angry or upset him in any way because, to be quite honest, he had no idea. He didn't know if Ventus wanted to sleep with him would make him anxious or disgusted or what. He just knew that, from what Kairi told him, it was human nature to want to do it. While not everyone actually felt compelled or any particular need for it, in general, it was a bodily reaction.

Ventus lowered his gaze, flushing with each moment a darker shade of red. Vanitas could practically hear the other's heart beating in his own ears from the amount of blood that rushed to them. Ventus slowly nodded. "Y-Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah… I do. But only if you want to." He quickly turned his eyes back to Vanitas, waving his hands frantically. "If you don't want to, that's okay! I mean… I just… I've thought about it. And I'd like to. Not right now, I mean. But, like, in general. Yeah. And, like, if you don't then it's okay, too. It's not something we ever have to do. I'm just happy being by your side."

Vanitas hummed thoughtfully. For a moment, he considered Ventus's reply, took into account the other's desire, and made a decision. He nodded. "Okay," he met Ventus's gaze. "In our own time. Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

Ventus buried his face into Vanitas's chest, groaning. The warmth that flooded through them was overwhelming. The blonde was embarrassed and happy and giddy with excitement. Vanitas agreed to. He trusted Ventus. He wanted Ventus to know just how much that meant to him to find trust in another. He was willing to give his whole self up for it. There was just one more thing he needed to know.

"So, if neither of us have a vagina, how does that work?"

Ventus burst out laughing, still refusing to pull away from Vanitas's chest. He could feel the discomfort of the question building within the blonde, another thing he was dreading having to explain, but would out of necessity. Because Vanitas asked and it wasn't fair to not tell him, especially after they agreed to follow through with it at their own pace. When Ventus finally pulled himself away the two made themselves comfortable for Ventus's detailed explanation. When he finished, Vanitas grimaced, not really sure he was satisfied with the answer.

"Gross."

Yay! Kissy boys kissy!

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