Capter Ten
Cas began to hang out with the group more often now that her work load was getting a little lighter. She had taken Lily's wedding dress out to her parents house in Staten Island to keep trying to fix it. Cas wasn't a professional by any means, but she had learned to sew from her mother when she was younger, and through an extensive amount of internet research, she had found out what kind of material the dress was made from and how to best clean stains from it. According to the internet, hydrogen peroxide mixed with a little water should do the trick, and Cas was planning on going back out there to try it that evening. She had found the ripped hem from when Lily had tripped, and, thankfully, the rip was easily fixed and not visible from the outside of the dress. If she could just get the stain out, it would be as good as new.
"Hey," Lily said, sitting across from her in the booth, Robin right behind her. "Are you excited for this dinner tonight?"
"Uh," Cas said, looking between the two of them in confusion. "What dinner?"
"My award dinner…" Robin said. "Didn't I… didn't I tell you?"
"She wasn't here when you invited the rest of us," Lily said, frowning.
"But I put you down on the invite list, I thought for sure I told you," Robin said, her face growing worried. "Oh my god, I meant to tell you, and then something came up at work and I forgot! Crap," Robin said.
"Robin has an award dinner for one of her stories, and its tonight," Lily explained, seeing that Cas was still confused.
"Well, no problem, I don't have to have a date do I?" Cas asked, looking over at Robin who shook her head. "That's fine then, I don't have any major plans for tonight, it's no big deal," she rested a hand on Robin's arm.
"Thanks, I'm just nervous I guess," Robin said.
"It'll be fine," Lily said, yawning. "Do you have a nice dress to wear?" She asked, turning to Cas.
"I think so," Cas said, trying to remember if she still owned that one dress she had bought for a work thing two years ago but had never gotten to wear. She hoped it would still fit.
"Great, we are getting together at Robin's at six to get ready," Lily said.
"Okay great, I'll see you there," Cas said as they stood to leave. Cas went bad to her apartment and searched through her closet, not finding any dresses. She sighed, wondering what she would do now, then remembered the coat closet she hardly ever used. She pulled it open and sifted through the thicker winter clothes it hadn't been cold enough to use this year, and found the garment bag in the back. She took it out and shook the dust from it before unzipping it to make sure it was the right dress.
An hour later she was shoving various make up items into her purse, then she grabbed her jacket and went to get a cab to Robin's place. She knocked on the door and Lily answered it, pulling it open for her. Both of them were already dressed, so Cas went into Robin's room to change and put on her make up.
"So should I wear my hair up or down?" Robin asked, from the living room. She heard Lily mumble something as she left Robin's room to join them again. "Lily. Lily?"
"What?" Lily asked, picking her head up from the couch.
"You okay?" Cas asked, digging through her purse for the earrings and necklace she had brought to go with her outfit.
"Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm just exhausted from work," Lily said, sitting up. "The stupid school board took away nap time in all kindergarten classes and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day. It's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap."
"Wait, you were taking naps when the kids were? Is that safe?" Robin asked, beginning to mess with her hair in one of the mirrors.
"Well, they're only five. What are they gonna do to me?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes. Cas finger brushed out her hair and looked into the mirror at her reflection. The light blue dress still fit, mostly. It was a little too big, but it didn't look baggy so she figured it was okay.
"Ted's still coming to this thing, right?" Robin asked, evidently deciding to leave her hair down as she turned back to them.
"Yep," Lily said, standing to look at her own reflection and mess with her hair.
"Do you think, um... hypothetically... it would be weird if I bring a date?" Robin asked nervously. Cas smiled. She had heard about the whole Ted, Victoria, Robin love triangle a few weeks ago when it became obvious that Robin and Ted were avoiding each other.
"Look at you, Scherbotsky, blatantly trying to make Ted jealous," Lily said, smiling.
"No, it's just this guy at the station. I never get involved with co-workers, but he asked me and I said yes. Is it going to be weird?" She asked again.
"No, it's not going to be weird at all," Lily said calmly, then went to the bathroom. Cas suspected she was calling Marshall to let him know, because that's what Lily did after every vaguely important conversation. Robin sighed and sat on the couch as they waited for Lily.
They left to meet up with the guys at the bar so they could go together, picking up Robin's date on the way. After spending five minutes in the cab with the guy, Cas could fully say he was obnoxious.
They got to the bar and Lily and Cas went in first, both of them trying to get away from Robin's date, Sandy. All he did was talk about himself, which was fine sometimes, but he was just awful.
"Hi, I'm Lily," Lily said, sliding into the booth next to Marshall and holding her hand out for the pretty blonde girl across form them to shake.
"I'm Cas," Cas said, offering her hand next as she slid in next to Lily.
"Hi. Mary. It's nice to meet you," the blonde said, returning their smiles.
"Mary is a friend of Barney's. Barney invited her. Just met Mary ourselves. Don't know too much about Mary. Look, a beer," Marshall said, and they all looked at him in confusion as he drank his beer.
"Hey," Ted said as he and Barney walked back over with Robin and Sandy.
"Hi," Robin said dryly.
"You look nice," Ted began, but Robin turned away awkwardly.
"Oh, um, Ted, this is Sandy," she said, gesturing to her date.
"Hi. Sandy Rivers," he said, smiling. Cas rolled her eyes as he continued. "Use my full name. People get a kick out of it."
"Hi, Sandy. Rivers. So are you two, uh…" Ted said, then trailed off.
"Starting a bunch of office rumors? Looks that way. Looks that way.," Sandy said, smiling.
"Oh, how rude of me. Uh, Robin, Sandy... Rivers... this is Mary, my date," Ted said, gesturing to Mary. Mary slid out of the booth to shake hands with them.
"Well, we should get going," Robin said after a slightly awkward silence. The group slid from the booth and walked out to the street to get cabs.
The hotel the ceremony was at was really nice, and Cas was glad she had spent so much time getting ready.
She went with Lily and Mary to the bathrooms when they stood after dinner, just to get away from the awkwardness that was the table.
"I love your lipstick," Lily said to Mary as the other woman applied it.
"Me too," Mary said, finishing with it. "You can borrow it if you want, I think it would look good on you," she said, holding the tube out. Lily put it on and looked in the mirror, smiling.
"You're right, it's great," Lily said, then looked at the bottom of the tube so she could remember the name of it. She left a second later as Cas tried to pat her hair down again.
"So what do you do?" Mary asked, messing with her hair in the mirror.
"I'm a psychologist, I work at Columbia University," Cas said, finally satisfied with her hair.
"Wow that sounds a lot more interesting than my job. I'm a paralegal at a firm downtown, it's all paperwork, very boring," Mary said, smiling into the mirror.
"Mine's mostly paperwork too," Cas said sighing. "And it seems a though I bring more home with me every night."
"Oh I know how that is," Mary said, turning to her. "We've been working on the is really huge case at my firm and its really important, so everyone's been working non-stop on it, plus we all have to keep up with our usual clients, it's like I never put down my pen anymore," Mary said, and they turned to leave the bathroom together.
"That sucks," Cas said sympathetically.
"Yeah, that's why I'm glad Barney called me for this dinner, I haven't had a date in weeks," Mary said. Cas smiled.
"Well I'm sure this will be the most boring one you have all year," she said and Mary laughed as they sat back down at the table.
"Why is Vampire Lou the host of a Saturday Afternoon Kung Fu Movie?" Lily asked, frowning at the stage. "You know, it just makes no sense. God, that pisses me off."
"Lily, you okay?" Ted asked as the table stared at her. She was usually so even tempered.
"Oh, yeah, I'm just tired. And when I get tired, I get cranky," she said, sighing.
"Really? I couldn't imagine you cranky," Sandy said, grinning as usual.
""Really? I couldn't imagine you cranky,"" Lily mocked, then sipped her drink.
"Wow. Why are you so tired?" Mary asked.
"Well, I teach kindergarten and the school board took away my nap time- the kids' nap time," Lily said, frowning.
"Lily, quit your job. Work at a private school," Barney said. "You won't have to deal with the school board, and you'll make a ton more money."
"Well, guess what, Barney?" Lily began snippily. "I don't base all my life decisions on how much money I'm going to make, unlike you and, sadly, my fiance."
"Well, it's just an internship, for the record," Marshall said, but Lily ignored him.
"Yeah, because if I did sacrifice all my values just for an easy buck, what would that make me?" Lily asked rhetorically.
"A prostitute," Mary answered anyway.
"Exactly. Thank you, Mary," Lily said, taking another large sip of her drink.
"So, Mary, what do you do for a living?" Robin asked, changing the subject.
"She's a paralegal," Barney burst in. Cas looked at him from her seat beside him and frowned. He was acting like he was about to get caught at something he shouldn't be doing.
"Yes, I'm a paralegal," Mary said, giving Barney a little confused glance.
"Oh, so, Mary the paralegal. What does a paralegal do exactly?" Robin asked, leaning forward in her seat.
"I just assist with day-to-day clerical work in a law firm downtown," Mary said, smiling.
"Oh, what firm?" Lily asked, having calmed down again.
"Douglas, O'Halloran and Stamp," Mary said, smiling. They nodded and turned back to watch another award get presented.
"So Mary, Ted is a great guy," Robin began and Cas turned back to listen to the conversation. "You hold on to him. Don't let him out of your sight for a minute."
"So, Sandy, what do you do?" Ted asked sarcastically, turning to the man across the table. "Oh, wait, I know what you do. You're the guy who reads the paper in the morning."
"You got me," Sandy said, trying to be charming. "What do you do, Ted?"
"Oh, same thing as you- I read the paper every morning," he said, then smirked. "But then after that, I finish my coffee and I go to my real job as an architect where I make an actual contribution to the world. I'm just kidding. Love your show. You're terrific." He said all of that with a flat voice.
"Thanks. I never tire of hearing that," Sandy said, not picking up on the animosity.
"Oh they're announcing my category," Robin said, turning to look at the screen. The others had wandered off through out the last category, but they returned now, excited for Robin.
"The nominees are: Scooter "Bam-Bam" Branson for A Bicycle- Joyride or Deathtrap? Mike Murphy for 13, Pregnant and Addicted. And Robin Scherbotsky for Pickles, the Singing Dog. And the winner is..." The vampire man said, unfolding an envelope dramatically. "Robin Scherbotsky." They all clapped as Robin stood and made her way to the stage, grinning.
"Thanks. Oh, wow. This is really a surprise," Robin said into the microphone. "Um, you know it's nice to be able to share this award with my friends. They're all here tonight. Marshall, Lily, Sandy Rivers… Cas, Barney... And that's it. Those are all my friends. Thank you," Cas glanced over at Ted while she clapped. The whole table glanced at him, but no one said anything.
"Congratulations," Marshall said as Robin came back to the table. The ceremony was over now, but Cas wasn't sure if they were staying for a bit longer or if they were all leaving.
"Oh, thanks," Robin said, then turned to Sandy. "Um, Sandy, do you want to get a cab?"
"Sure. Let's go," Sandy said getting to his feet.
"Yeah, this party's dead," Ted said, turning to Mary. "Mary, you want to go upstairs? We, uh, got a room." He said to the rest of the table. They all sat in silence, wondering what to say.
Should we go?" Mary said after a moment.
"Yeah. Thanks. Well... Good night," Ted said, then turned to lead Mary away.
"Good night," Robin said as well, leading Sandy away. Cas shook her head.
"Robin, where's Sandy Rivers?" Marshall asked as Robin came back to the table alone. Lily was leaning on Marshall's shoulder now, dozing off.
"I put him in a cab," Robin said, sitting down.
"So you and he aren't…?" Barney asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't date people I work with," Robin said, sighing. "I was just trying to make Ted jealous. Is he…?"
"He's off trying to make you jealous," Marshall said.
"Oh, well, good for them," Robin said, sipping the drink she had left there earlier. "And, you know, if Ted likes her, she's probably pretty cool." They were silent for a few moments, then Lily sat up in shock, looking at Marshall.
"Mary's a prostitute?" She said.
"What?!" Robin asked.
"No way," Cas said at the same time, shaking her head.
"Barney paid for her," Marshall said, pointing across the table.
"Is that true?" Lily asked, turning to Barney.
"We were having a conversation about prostitution, and then Barney calls her up and then she shows up at the bar and now she and Ted are upstairs," Marshall said quickly.
"Okay, seriously, what is going on with Ted lately? Is he having a nervous breakdown?" Robin asked, shaking her head.
"You know, Barney, for anyone else, this would be a new low, but sadly, for you, it's just a new middle," Lily said, then she frowned and began to panic. "Oh, my God, I used her lipstick! Ah!" She said, grabbing a napkin to wipe it from her lips.
"That's her napkin," Marshall said.
"No!" Lily said, practically crying.
"Guys, stop," Cas said, frowning. "She's not a prostitute, she was telling me about a case her law firm has been working on and she wasn't lying," Cas said.
"Okay, well, I guess now is as good a time as any. In keeping with tonight's award show motif, I'd like to announce this evening's big twist ending!" Barney said, getting to his feet and drawing an envelope from his pocket. He spotted the vampire announcer and called him over. "Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?" The man took the envelope, opened it and read the card aloud.
""Mary's not really a prostitute,"" he said.
"What?" Marshall asked, frowning.
"That's all, Vampire Lou. Nicely done," Barney said, patting the mans shoulder.
"So she's not…?" Marshall asked.
"No. Mary's just a paralegal who lives in my building. Oh- ha-ha! And here's the best part- she has no idea that Ted thinks she's a hooker," he said, grinning. The table just stared at him. "Oh, come on. If you don't laugh, it just seems mean."
Cas shook her head and stood to go home.
She spent the entire next day working on her notes. Around two she stopped for lunch and went to the bar to order something. She saw the guys there so she went over and slid in next to Ted.
"That was not funny," Ted told Barney as Cas sat.
"Not funny, dude," Marshall repeated, shaking his head.
"I know," Barney said, acting like he was sad, then he looked up, grinning. "It was hilarious."
"Why would you do that?" Ted asked, frowning. By now Cas had realized they must be talking about Mary the Paralegal.
"I did it to prove a point," Barney said, shrugging.
"What point?" Ted asked, still a little angry.
"Stay with me," Barney said, making a show of forgetting the point. "It's going to come to me. No. Ah, okay, here's the point. You thought that Mary was a sure thing, right? So what happened? She took you up to a hotel room on the first date. All you have to do is be that confident with every girl you meet and your slump is over." Cas raised her brows in surprise. Barney actually did have a good point, though he had gone to the extremes to prove it.
"So the message is, I should treat every woman like a whore?" Ted asked, shaking his head.
"Come on, dude, you should be thanking me," Barney said, grinning.
"She slapped me and stormed off," Ted said, finishing off his drink.
"Can you blame her? You called her a hooker," Barney said, and Cas laughed along with Marshall and Barney.
"I'm sorry, dude, it was funny," Mashall said, catching Ted's glare.
"Yeah. Well, it's getting late," Ted said, sliding out of the booth. "I should get back to my room."
"Your room?" Barney asked in confusion.
"Yeah, that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card- never checked out," Ted said, grinning now. "By the way, you know what's super fun? Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain. Well, it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles." He walked out of the bar and Cas couldn't help but laugh at the look on Barney's face.
"Come on, if you don't laugh, it just seems mean," Marshall said, and Cas laughed again, shaking her head.