OMG! this is sush a weird time for me to uploud! But.. I just wanted this chapter to be up, because you guys deserve it! :D Welcome to all the new followers and Thanks for the lovely reviews! i love all of you of course! :D

I have to say, that this Chapter is quite .. dark and dramatic, from Ziva's sight. but other wise it would be over to soon!

Anyhow. i won't hold you back any longer! Enjoy your reading!

Tony's apartment, 3:45 pm

''Because, all the things you just said, are the complete opposite!'' That sentence raced through his head. He stood there. Ziva on the other hand had raced to the bedroom again and once he got there, when he was recovered from what she had said, he found that she was already asleep.

It was still before dinner, but he knew, that the voice, even though she said it hadn't appeared for so long, after the incident, was taking a lot of energy of her. The words she had spoken were repeating in his head. He knew what she meant by it. ''I did like it, It was no mistake, she does like me in an other way then just friends. But what was it then? What was it she is so afraid off?''' He couldn't understand it.

He made two phone calls. The first one was to Rachel Cranston's office

''Mrs. Cranston assistant speaking. How may I help you?'' The woman asked with a cheery tone in her voice.

''Hello'' He answered. ''My name is Anthony DiNozzo Jr. and I would like to have an appointment for tomorrow, if that is possible''

''Alright Mr. DiNozzo. Let me check the schedule of Mrs. Cranston for a moment'' She replied to him. Tony could here her type on a keyboard. After a minute or two, which looked like it was more then 15 minutes she spoke again. ''You're in luck, Mr. DiNozzo. We have someone who deferred his or hers appointment for tomorrow afternoon, at 2:00 pm. Is that okay for you to come then?''

''Just to make clear it is not for me, but for my best friend. Her name is Ziva David. She needs the help. I will be joining her though'' Tony cleared out.

''That is very nice of you'' She woman replied. ''I will set Ziva David for that time than. Have a good day today and I will see you tomorrow around 1:45 pm'' She explained.

''Thank you. We'll be there'' Tony politely spoke and hung up the phone.

He let out a deep sigh. This was the next step, for Ziva to recovery. Now, he really needed to get out for a moment, but Ziva was still asleep. He couldn't just leave her, could he? No, he couldn't. He dialed the first.. no second speed button of his cell phone. (guess who's number one!) and let it go over. Not even one whole rang had gone over or the person on the side of the line picked up the phone.

''DiNozzo. Something wrong?'' Gibbs asked. It was so sudden for Tony to call in the middle of the afternoon.

''I uh.. No not really. I just need to get out for a while. Get something. But Ziva's asleep and I don't want to leave her alone, you know. And I was wondering, if you don't have a case. Can you come over, just for an hour and a half or so?'' He asked. His voice sounded quite off in the older mans ear.

''Give me 10 minutes to be there'' Gibbs gave in. ''Are you sure that you are alright?'' Gibbs asked now pointing the question to Tony.

''Don't worry about me. Just need to get something and I need air'' Tony reassured his boss.

''Okay'' Gibbs hung up. Tony could hear that, he wasn't fully convinced. And who could blame him? Tony didn't even try to be convincing.

…...

Meanwhile at NCIS HQ, 3:50 pm

Gibbs hung up the phone. And wrapped up his stuff. He actually was glad they didn't havea case. McGee had now the time to do paper, that was lying there too long, as always. And Abby had the chance to clean her Labby even better, then she already did everyday, if they had a case.

As he wanted to pick his jacket, he noticed a living form standing behind his bullpen.

''How much did you hear, Abby'' He asked, continuing putting his jacket on.

''All of it. I didn't eavesdrop. I just happened to be here because I wanted to talk to you'' She explained. Now walking into the bullpen to face her silver haired friend. ''Is everything okay with Ziva?'' She asked worried.

''Don't no much. But Tony has to get out for a while and doesn't want to leave Ziva alone'' Gibbs explained to him. Abby looked at him. ''You want to come along, don't you?'' It was a question, but Gibbs already knew the answer.

Even though the circumstances, Abby wanted to see her friend. She was so worried about Ziva, when the contact went dead and when she heard Ziva was dead, she didn't know what to do. And 3 weeks ago, when Ziva came out of the elevator, her heart dropped. Not that she was disappointed. She just couldn't believe that she could pull Ziva into a hug. But the look on Ziva's face was beside, dirty and sweaty, it was far gone. She knew back then, that it wasn't the end. She just hadn't expect This.

''McGee. If Vance ask where Abby and I are, tell him, that we were needed'' He said to his agent, still looking at Abby, who's face lite up a little.

McGee looked up from his work. He was so distracted, by the load of paper, that he hadn't really heard the conversation.

''And you are going to...?'' McGee asked, as he saw his boss and Abby already walking to the elevator.

''Tony's. We will explain later. But from now on. You have the say in what happens until I'm back!'' Gibbs stated and waited for the agreeing nod of McGee, that he got a second after he said it and the elevator doors closed.

''Yes boss!'' McGee called before they were completely closed and went back to work. ''Great, I am all alone now'' He sighed.

On their way to Tony's house, Gibbs drove. This time he was not being reckless and almost obeyed the traffic rules. Which is completely surprising for everyone who knows Gibbs for even only two days. If it wasn't for Abby, no one would worry about it, but this was Abby and this was kind of not her Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

''You okay, Gibbs?'' She therefor asked.

Gibbs let out a sigh. ''Yes, I'm fine. Just worried myself, not only about Ziva, but also about Tony''

''What about Tony?'' Abby was now worried herself.

''He sounded off. That is one of the reasons I brought you with me. I want you to go with Tony, where ever he's going. And help him with whatever that is bothering him. I will stay with Ziva until you guys are back.'' He explained.

''Yes boss!'' Abby made a soldier position with her hand. Gibbs had to chuckle about it.

…..

Back at Tony's apartment 4:00 pm

Tony cleaned up the little mess there was made in the last couple of days. He quickly turned into other clothes because the ones he was wearing were still damp from their swim adventure, that started out all to fun and ended up like this.

At the moment he put on a clean shirt, he heard the knock on the door. He looked over to Ziva, but she remained sleeping. She had tossed her clothes on the floor and was sleeping in one of his College shirts. ''I'll be back soon'' He whispered and walked out of the bedroom.

He walked over to the door and at the moment Gibbs wanted to knock a second time, Tony opened the door.

''Hey Boss, Abby'' He greeted them. He was a little surprised to see Abby. ''Come in'' Tony opened the door further and let his friends and coworkers come in.

''Hey!'' Abby said and gave him a hug. She began to worry, when Tony didn't fully return the hug, like she was used to.

Tony closed the door and Gibbs walked over to the couch and plopped on it.

''Everything alright?'' Abby asked as she sat down next to Gibbs.

''Yes, everything is okay. I just need to get out and buy something'' Tony lied. He just had to get out for a moment.

''Abby's coming along with you'' Gibbs stated.

Tony wanted to argue, but the look in Gibbs eyes were steady and permanent and told him, not even to think about doing that. ''I figured something like that'' He responded.

''Is there anything I should know about Ziva, before you go?'' Gibbs asked.

Tony thought for a moment. ''Don't let her into the kitchen alone'' He started explaining. ''Not even for 1 minute. If she has a nightmare, wake her up as soon as possible, before she does something she regret. When you hear something fall and break into pieces, check out what it is, if Ziva's not with you. Check sometimes if she has something with her, that she can use to hurt herself. When she gets a panic attack, play this'' Tony gave Gibbs the CD, he bought her yesterday.

''She likes the music and I think it will calm her down. Other then that. Please don't be scared of her, how she looks, if she still has the pajama on on, when she wakes up and walks in here. It's not a pretty sight, to see. She has multiple old scars of Saleem on her arms. And now she has newer burn scars all over her arms and stomach. She also has an big cut on both her hands and 4 cuts between the fingers of her left hand''

Abby and Gibbs looked at each other and back at Tony. There was so much you had to know about her. And here he was, Tony, knew all this after 3 days.

''Anything else?'' Gibbs asked as the information had sank in.

''Now that you ask about it yes. Talk to her, even is she doesn't say something back. Which I'm pretty sure she won't in the first couple of minutes or hour'' Tony said.

Gibbs nodded in understanding. ''Good. Now you go ''buy'' something and I will keep an close eye on Ziva''

''Thanks boss'' Tony said and he grabbed his jacket and Abby stood up. ''You really don't have to go along''

''Yes I do! Boss orders'' Abby replied. Tony looked back at Gibbs and nodded. Then he and Abby walked out the apartment.

…...

DC central park, 4:20

Tony sat down in a bench in the middle of the park. Abby sat down next to him. She knew, something was bothering him and he had to talk about it.

''I thought, we were going to buy something'' She asked him

''Come on Abby. We both know that you and Gibbs already knew that was not the truth'' Tony replied. He stared at the playground, where kids where just playing. ''You know, sometimes I wish I was a kid again and then not the same I was back than''

''What are you talking about Tony?''

''As a kid, you don't have worry or sadness. Or at least that is how it is suppose to be for a kid. You can fantasize about everything and say most of the ridiculous things and it's all good. You can be yourself. But as an adult, you have to be someone. Everyone has expectations about you''

''I'm still the same one I was as a kid'' Abby stated.

''Believe me. I know and that what I admire about you'' He said, now for the first time looking at her.

''Thanks. But why are you telling me this''

''It's hard to explain. Ziva's has a voice in her head. It's telling her what she can and can't do, if she doesn't obey she has to be 'punished' which means—'' Tony said but was cut off.

''She hurts herself'' Abby finished for him.

''Yes. I'm at the point that she trust me more that the voice in her head. But every time I figured out something, the voice strikes back with a new thing. First is was just burn marks, with a lighter, then she was burning herself with the oven, she let a plate fall so that the shattered pieces were cutting her and last night she cut herself with a box cutter when she was supposed to go, put on other clothes'' He explained.

''That's cruel'' Was the only thing Abby could say.

''When I'm around her, the voice seems the stop for the most of it. But I think I messed it up this afternoon''

''What did you do?'' Abby raised her eyebrows.

''We were at Déserté Parc''

''That park that was closed 25 years ago, because of something no one understands?'' Abby asked surprised.

Tony chuckled. ''Yes that one. We had a great time. We talked about things, about her and we even had a new record of not hearing the voice'' He smiled lightly.

''Then what happened?''

''She told me she was warm and because she couldn't pull up her sleeves because the sun hurts on the marks, I picked her up and threw her into the lake'' He explained.

''Typical you'' Abby laughed. ''Was she upset about it or something''

''No. in the morning she was talking to the voice. About someone she liked. I thought she was talking about me. And when we were in the water, I made a mistake and kissed her''

''And she wasn't talking about you?'' Abby was surprised, she had thought she was talking about him. Who else did she talk about.

''No the point is, that she was talking about me and somehow, that is what was upsetting her!'' Tony said frustrated and he put his head in his hands. ''And because of what I did, I think she lost the trust in me''

Abby put a arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a sidewards hug. ''She will still trust you Tony. I think that she's confused. Look at what happened to Micheal, she trusted him and look what he did. It just scares her I think. Trust me she won't hate you or anything. After all you did I think she's knows how trustworthy you are''

Tony let out a small smile. ''Thanks Abbs'' He said and gave her kiss on her temple.

''Hey! Don't kiss me! We don't want to make Ziva jealous'' Abby said and wiped the place he kissed her.

''I doubt that she will be jealous of that Abby. I kissed her on the lips and it was not meant to be just a friendly kiss'' Tony chuckled.

''Oh, now you're just trying to make me jealous!'' Abby punched him on the arm.

''Ouch!'' He squealed and he rubbed his arm. ''No Abby. I really like her'' He admitted.

''I know. I knew that from the moment you walked into Labby with her. You just didn't know it yourself yet''

''And you didn't had the idea to tell me?'' Tony raised his eyebrows.

''Sorry. I learned that you have to let love take his way and not to interfere'' Abby explained.

''You're one weird friend, you know that?'' Tony laughed.

''And that's why you love me!'' Abby stated.

''Yes I do!'' Tony said and gave her another hug. ''Thank you Abby'' He politely.

''You want to go home now?'' Abby asked as she pulled away.

''As much I want to be around Ziva. I think I'll stay here a little big longer'' Tony replied. So they stayed here a little longer and started talking about the cases, Abby had and a bunch of other things.

…...

Meanwhile, with Gibbs and Ziva

Ziva was struggling. sweating, tossing and turning in bed. Gibbs had heard the noise she made and walked over to the bedroom.

He saw her and the way she was, other then the fact she had uncovered herself from the blankets and the bruises, marks and scars were visible, he was scared at the terrifying face she had. She mumbled and at the end is was clear what she was saying.

''Ziva..'' Gibbs called. She didn't respond. She kept tossing and turning and mumbling. He walked over to Tony's bed and reached for Ziva's arm. ''Ziva. Wake up!'' He said slightly louder. The simplest touch on her arm, made her waking up in her ninja style.

''NO!'' She yelled. Gibbs did the only thing he knew and grabbed, just like Tony did, her wrists, to stop her from hitting him.

''Ziva! It's me, Gibbs!'' He yelled to her.

Ziva looked at him. She was confused. ''Tony left you Ziva! You see what happened?'' The voice told her. ''Where's Tony?'' Ziva panicked.

''He had to go buy something'' Gibbs explained.

''See? He doesn't want to be with you!'' The voice lied. ''No! He cannot leave me! He promised me!'' Ziva yelled and and she pulled her arms out of Gibbs's grip. She stepped out of bed and ran over to the living room. Gibbs hurried to follow her.

''Ziva! He will be back in half an hour!'' Gibbs tried. He really didn't know what to do.

''No he won't Ziva! He left you. You scared him away! Even he couldn't deal with a freak like you!'' The voice went on. ''You're lying!'' Ziva told Gibbs ''He doesn't come back. He left!'' Her face went white and Gibbs saw the light go out in her eyes. ''I'm not good enough..'' The suddenly calm voice and the lost eyes, Gibbs was scared.

''No.. Ziva. You are!'' Gibbs tried. He stepped towards her and wanted to hug her.

''He's lying again Ziva. And you're right. You are not good enough, for anyone in this world. You're father left you to die. I used you as a toy, in Somalia. Don't get me wrong you were the best one to play with, but now, the only one you trusted, has left you. They don't care about you Ziva. No one does!'' The voice had her completely. At this. Ziva pushed Gibbs away. She was completely lost and didn't know what she did. She kept pushing Gibbs away.

''Ziva stop it!'' Gibbs yelled. ''Don't believe it! Tony will be back! I'm calling him now!'' He tried.

''No!'' She yelled one more time and hit him in the stomach. Even Gibbs couldn't fight against Ziva. Not in this state. He fell to the ground. Ziva ran over to the kitchen. She went through all the cabinets and draws and found the one with the cutlery. She picked out a big knife, one they use to cut meat with.

''Perfect'' The voice said. She could almost hear it laugh. She sank to the ground with the knife. She pulled her knees up to her nose and started humming and shaking, the knife clammed in in her hand, which she had wrapped around her legs.

This scene, is how Gibbs found her. ''Ziva..'' He tried to calm her.

''Go away!'' She shouted, her voice was cold and steady. unlike her body.

''Ziva.. put the knife away'' Gibbs said.

Omg! the adrenalin i got from writing the last part with Ziva, it got me shaking while writing it! please, let me know what you think about it :) i love reviews and i want your opinion about what i'm writing so please review :D

I should be free tomorrow, so there should be a next chapter up soon! Thanks for reading :)

Leonie