Recap of chapter 9 for the non-smut readers: they had sex without a condom.
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Last paragraph of chapter 9:
They remained tangled in each other on the floor. As Bobby covered her, Alex pulled her head up and placed small kisses on his neck and face. He felt the warmth of her lips on him and it made his heart ache for all the things that he wanted from her but still thought he couldn't get. But then he thought of what they just did, how they could have just created a life, and his heart swelled.
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Then…he froze.
Alex picked up on Bobby's demeanor immediately. She pushed him over onto his back, then climbed onto him.
"Alex…"
"Bobby, please don't say it." Alex had one hand resting on the floor, her face was poised just above his.
"It's just that…"
"I'm serious." She ran her fingers along his jaw. "The last thing I need to hear is you telling me that that was a mistake and that you're sorry."
"Think of what I did." The concern and guilt in his voice didn't slide by her.
She was trying to remain calm. "I know what we did. We had consensual, unprotected sex. We knew the risks and we let it happen."
He looked at her skeptically.
"Bobby, at any point, I could have said 'stop', but I didn't…I wanted that just as much as you did."
He pushed his breath out in frustration. He didn't understand her.
"But why, Alex." He really didn't have a clue.
"Why? You mean, why would I allow you, Robert Goren, make love to me? To come inside of me? And possibly impregnate me?"
"Yes to all that…why?"
Alex laid there on top of him, and not for the first time, she looked at Bobby and shook her head. He was a man who had no idea how wonderful he really was…and…he had no clue what her true feelings for him were. But she knew most of that was her fault. She's always kept him at arms length, even after they started sleeping together. She felt awful.
Her eyes held his.
"You really have no idea, do you?"
"What do you mean?"
"How special you are…you have no idea that I think you're the kindest, most caring, and most wonderful man I have ever met."
"Th-then why do you see other people?" He sounded sad and dejected.
Alex heard his tone and realized just how much it hurt him to see her with someone else. She had only gone out with Kyle because he was dating. But she heard his pain and she knew she didn't want to be the cause of it anymore.
She ran her hands down his face and gently kissed his lips.
She spoke softly. "I've never wanted to see anyone else but you. I only dated him because I thought I should. He was a nice guy but there was nothing there. I could never feel for him what I feel for you."
He held his breath before he asked the next question. "And how do you feel about me?"
She looked him in his eyes and hesitated before she answered him. "I love you."
He paused before he spoke, "Eames". He sounded like he didn't believe her.
She pushed her self up so she was straddling him. "Don't 'Eames' me, Bobby. Not about this."
He was frustrated and confused. "It's just…it makes no sense."
Alex knew she created this situation. She never expressed her feelings to him and because of that, Bobby didn't believe her. She took a deep breath, let it out, then stood up.
Bobby panicked for a second because he thought she was going to leave, but then she held her hands out to him. "C'mon, get up." Once he was up she took him by the hand and led him to his bedroom. She went to the bed, slid under the covers, then patted the bed to invite him to should join her. He got in but didn't move closer to her.
Alex was lying on her side with her elbow resting on her pillow and her head propped on her hand. She spoke gently, trying to convey to him that he can trust her to open up. "Now, tell me what doesn't make sense to you."
Bobby was lying on his back, and she watched him as he closed his eyes and squirmed, he wasn't comfortable at all. He wasn't used to talking about feelings with anyone, and they had never had a conversation like this one before.
Patience, Alex, patience. "You don't think I can love you, Bobby?" She reached over and ran her hand down his arm. She wasn't expecting him to flinch, but he did, so she pulled her hand away quickly. He opened his eyes and turned toward her as he tried to gauge her reaction. He took one look at her and he knew he hurt her feelings. He covered his face with his hands and shook his head.
Alex's first reaction was to get up and leave because she was so confused by him. She was afraid she misinterpreted what had happened, and his feelings toward her. But then she knew she couldn't give up that easily.
"Bobby…do, do you love me…at all?" Her voice was almost a whisper.
He kept his face covered as he nodded yes. She sighed in relief and it made him put his hands down and turn on his side to face her. He didn't speak, and she could see caution in his eyes.
Alex moved closer to him. His head was on his pillow, and hers was still propped up so she was looking down at him a little. She leaned over and kissed his shoulder, then his neck and turned her head to lean in and kiss his lips. She felt his arm snake over her hip and press firmly into her back, drawing her closer to him while he deepened their kiss. She used her arm to push his shoulder down so he was lying on his back again, and he pulled her on top of him. When they ended the kiss, Alex kissed his chin and his jaw, then moved to his neck and his chest. While she was doing that, Bobby tugged the blankets off of her then ran his hands up and down her back and over her ass. Then she reached down and began to stroke him. Feeling her touch him made him groan in anticipation of having her again.
She stopped long enough to put both of her hands on his face and spoke softly, but with authority, "I love you, Bobby."
"I love you, too." He used a hand to pull her face back down to his.
They made love all night long.
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a/n: I was at a loss as to how to proceed after chapter 9, but became inspired while I sat on the beautiful beach with Sis and the Bittersweet chick. Was it the sound of the waves lapping against the sand? Was it the warmth of the sun and the calling of the seagulls? Perhaps it was the sucky surfer dude? What ever it was...it got my butt in gear again, so thanks!