Thanks as always to my betas, Naelany and wishingforlove.

Here's the date (and some of the backstory) you've all been waiting for. I hope you're not disappointed.

Edward knew he was an ass, but he was feeling it fairly acutely at dinner Thursday night. Sunday he'd found himself in a low mood, and he figured it was the events of Friday and the emotional rollercoaster that had followed catching up with him. Edward had gone to dinner but had remained largely within his own head, trying to sort everything out and not lash out at anyone in his tetchiness.

He found himself struggling to reconcile his burgeoning feelings for Jasper with his more established feelings for Bella. Edward cared a great deal for Bella, and though he'd initially just tried to hook up with her, he found himself growing to truly love her as a member of his family. Hell, he knew he'd still sleep with her in a heartbeat, if given the chance, and he was having problems making that work with what he had developing more slowly with Jasper.

Throughout the week he isolated himself while he was trying to figure out what he wanted. He couldn't deny that he was attracted to both of them, but Bella had made it clear that she wasn't interested in a relationship with Edward when they met. When she'd found James, Edward was happy for her, knowing that she'd have someone else in her life besides his family. He'd also grown jealous over time and struggled to deal with that, trying to convince himself he was content to have her as a close friend. Then Jasper had arrived and shaken everything up.

Jasper was a lot like Bella in some ways. He was quiet and observant and had worked his way into their lives with very little effort. Edward also thought he was absolutely gorgeous with that mop of dirty blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and that soft Texan twang that was muted unless he was upset or tired. Edward also just felt drawn to the man; he was a comfortable companion and Edward felt like he didn't have to work too hard when he was with him. It was like Jasper understood Edward before they'd even really gotten to know each other.

So while he was trying to process that the two people who had become as dear to him as his family had been put in danger by Bella's ex-boyfriend (he hoped, at least, that he was her ex) he'd withdrawn into himself and lived up to his high school nick name of Sullen Cullen. He managed to get through his classes, and his piano students hadn't minded that he'd been slightly distracted, since it allowed them to slack off a bit. By Thursday, however, he'd mostly pulled himself out of the funk by deciding to just see where things with Jasper led, and that he would be more than happy with Bella as a close friend.

When he ran into Jasper in the cafeteria, he realized that even though his family and Bella were somewhat used to his odd mood swings (that he had to admit had gotten worse in the last few years), Jasper wasn't and Edward instantly felt guilty for the dark shadows beneath Jasper's haunted blue eyes. He apologized for his behavior and was relieved to hear that Jasper was still interested in going out with him.

Edward wasn't sure why he was so relieved. Part of him was sure that Jasper wasn't going to want to have anything to do with him after his distance for the past week. But the rest of him knew that Jasper understood him better than Edward had anticipated.

However, when Jasper didn't appear for dinner, Edward truly felt like an ass. "Where's Jasper?" He asked Bella when she joined them.

"I sent him home to get some sleep. He was exhausted," Bella explained, dropping a teabag into a steaming mug before starting to eat her pasta.

"Did something happen this week?" Edward frowned into his own dinner, something that was supposed to be beef stroganoff over noodles.

Bella shook her head. "I just don't think he was sleeping well. He's worrying a lot."

"Do you know what about?" Edward wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"Me," she said honestly with a small smile. "You. James. Classes." She shrugged. "I get the sense that he's one of those people that's naturally a care taker. He just seems to know things about people and carries a lot of responsibility for others' well being on his shoulders."

Edward had noticed that about him too, especially when he'd gone shopping with Alice that first weekend, somehow just knowing that she needed company and didn't protest. He'd somehow found a way to connect with everyone in his family in a way that they'd needed fulfilled. But hell if it didn't make him feel guilty that the man had been worried about him because he'd been too busy dealing with what was in his head to let everyone know that he was alright and just being his moody self.

"Shit," he swore softly.

"Hey," Bella said, laying her hand gently on his arm. "Don't worry about it too much, kay? He's not upset with you, he was just worried because he hadn't heard from you much this week, and he's used to seeing you. Just try to explain to him tomorrow night, okay?" She smiled softly and gave his forearm a squeeze. "If you really want this, he deserves the truth."

Edward nodded, his guilt not assuaged. "I don't mean to pull away, you know," he said quietly.

"We know, Edward," Bella assured him with a smile. "It's just the way you deal with things."

He returned the smile, though he knew it didn't reach his eyes. He kissed her cheek lightly and turned his attention to his dinner, drifting back to his thoughts. The others carried on around him, Bella occasionally nudging him when someone spoke to him and he didn't catch it.

Fridays were one of Edward's easiest days. He didn't have any lesson students or rehearsals to attend to, just his three classes. He was done for the day after the Music Appreciation class fourth period. It was only 1:30 and he wasn't meeting the others for dinner until their usual 5:30 when everyone else was finished for the afternoon (except Alice who didn't have a 7th period class). He was more anxious for his date with Jasper than he liked, so he decided to work off some of the nervous energy. After a quick change in his room, he went to the gym and lost himself in the rhythm of swimming until his body was pleasantly tired and his mind had settled down. Being in the water was freeing for Edward; while he was swimming he didn't have to constantly think about his balance or how much weaker his right leg was.

His swim killed an hour, and rather than shower at the gym, he tugged his sweats and hoodie on over his damp swim trunks and hobbled back to his room. Edward took a long hot shower, washing the scent of chlorine from his body and hair. He took his time shaving, but even after lingering, it was still two hours before dinner.

Feeling mellow from the exercise and relaxed from the shower, Edward lounged on his bed in only his boxers and a t-shirt, his iPod churning out jazz standards while he allowed himself to doze lightly. His thoughts drifted to what he had planned for the evening.

The aquarium in Port Angeles was open until nine on Friday and Saturday nights, and Edward had gotten tickets for one of the later tours. He also had another favorite hole in the wall cafe he wanted to take Jasper to. They had great local musicians performing on the weekends, and served killer deserts. It was a fairly casual plan for the evening and Edward just hoped he didn't fuck anything up.

He glanced at the clock to see he'd been drifting in la la land for over an hour. He dressed in a pair of loose fitting designer jeans that Alice had bought him and a light-weight forest green sweater that fit pretty tightly. A pair of waterproof boots (stylish, yet essential) finished off the ensemble and Edward spent a few minutes trying to tame his hair, but gave up. Before he left he made sure he had his car keys and his wallet, shrugged on his leather jacket, and made his way to the cafeteria.

"Looking sharp, cousin," Alice said with a bright smile when she met him at the door. "Shall we, or are you waiting for Jas?"

Edward grinned down at her. "I'm waiting."

Alice bounced on her toes but managed to contain her squeal of excitement. "You're still eating with us though, right?"

"Yes, Alice," Edward said patiently.

"Okay!" she bounced away, leaving Edward to lean against the wall and wait.

He wasn't waiting for long before Jasper appeared, wearing jeans that accentuated his long legs and a cream colored sweater with a v neck under a trench coat, but what brought Edward up short were the cowboy boots. He was used to seeing Jasper in loafers or his trainers, and it shouldn't have surprised him that Jasper owned a pair of boots.

"Hi," Jasper greeted Edward with a grin.

"Hey." Edward smiled. Jasper looked much more rested than he had the previous day, and Edward felt a bit of the guilt he'd been carrying lift from his shoulders. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, starved," Jasper answered. "I missed dinner last night and haven't seemed to catch up today."

"Well, we could always blow this joint and go somewhere with real food," Edward suggested. He knew the dining hall was one of the highest ranked in the nation, but that didn't mean they weren't all sick of the food sometimes.

Jasper seemed to consider that for a moment. "Sure," he said with a nod. "Let's get out of here."

"Alright." Edward dug his phone from his pocket and quickly texted Alice as they set off toward the parking lot. She'd forgive them. Eventually. "So, uhm," Edward started. "I wanted to apologize again for this week. I should have let you know that I was okay."

Jasper waved him off. "It's alright, really. I can't promise I won't do the same thing. As much as I was concerned with everything that happened last week, I can understand the need for space to deal with things."

"I still think that I owe you an explanation," Edward said, tucking the phone away after retrieving Alice's message acknowledging their absence.

"You don't," Jasper said gently. "But I won't stop you," he said with a smile.

Edward returned the smile as he lit up a smoke, offering one to Jasper who declined. "Before the accident," he said as they walked, "I was a bit of a playboy. I was never caught up in any scandal or anything like that," he said in a rush, not wanting Jasper to get the wrong idea. "I just saw a lot of different people. I could be in three different cities in a week when the orchestra was touring, and I never lacked for companionship when I wanted it, both from inside the orchestra and from fans."

He took a long draw of his cigarette. "My partners always knew I was never into anything serious, and I was never a – what's the current term – a player?" he asked with a smirk. "Anyway. We mostly left on good terms, since I was always pretty up front with what I was in for when I hooked up with anyone. Even back then I was a moody bastard, but I can admit that the mood swings have become more pronounced in the last few years. I used to get teased in high school for being the tortured artist type. I was popular, but preferred to be alone while I wrote music or was practicing. When I went to college I came out of my shell a bit when some of my classmates showed me there was more to a university experience than a practice room and studying for exams. I never did quite grow out of the habit of going to ground when things got rough."

Edward used the fob to unlock the Volvo and he and Jasper slid into the car. "I was on my way home from a rehearsal when I was struck by another car. Carlisle said the person who hit me was intoxicated and on their cell phone when they sped through a red light. I don't remember much about that day." Edward was vaguely aware that he was rambling. He glanced at Jasper, who was watching him with a patient and open expression. He stubbed his butt out in the ashtray and cracked his window slightly.

"I was in the hospital for three months after the surgery before I could go home, and spent the next nine months in physical therapy. I was living with my parents and there wasn't much I could do to take care of myself. It became all too easy to withdraw into myself and throw one large pity party." He recalled talking to Jasper about this before, a little bit. "I felt useless; I was broken and felt like less of a person because I had to be looked after like a toddler all over again. I swung back and forth between being cruel to Esme to not speaking to her for long periods of time. I don't know how she put up with me, other than the fact that I was her son, and every so often we had a good day. We went through four in-home care givers in three months."

Edward glanced at Jasper again. His blue eyes shone with sympathy.

"Esme was always careful to never show any reaction to anything I said or did. On some level I'm sure I knew I was hurting her, but it meant less to me than my own suffering at the time. One night I heard her sobbing in the kitchen as she talked to Carlisle when they thought I was asleep. She was heartbroken over the things I'd said to her earlier in the day and over the course of the week. Her patience had worn out and she was breaking down under the abuse I heaped on her. My mother has always been the strongest person that I'd ever known, and the revelation that I was managing to break her spirits single handedly shook me to the core. I knew that I wouldn't be able to maintain an even temper for long; even before the accident I had a quick temper if someone sparked it. So instead I withdrew. If I wasn't having a good day, I tended to shut down so that I wasn't hurting anyone.

"Of course the silence hurt as much as the yelling, but it was better. It took me a long time to figure out that it was okay to ask for help, that my family wouldn't think anything less of me. I still have issues of inferiority, feeling like less of a person because of the lingering disabilities from the crash, but I'm getting better. So it's pretty ingrained in me to hide myself away when there's too much going on for me to handle. It keeps me from hurting people unintentionally, though I know it's not really a conscious or logical decision."

Edward stopped talking and took a deep breath, processing everything he'd just said. He hadn't attempted to explain any of that to anyone since Bella, two years ago.

"Edward," Jasper said quietly. "You went through something incredibly traumatic that ended your career before you really had a chance to get started. I can't defend your behavior, but I can understand where you were coming from. You didn't owe me an explanation, but I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me that, and now I understand a bit better why everyone was telling me just to give you some space this week and you'd come around."

Edward flashed Jasper a smile, relieved that he'd understood the point of Edward's rambling tale.

"What had you hiding from everyone this week?" Jasper asked gently. "I mean, if you want to talk about it now…"

"It wasn't anything in particular," Edward said quickly before Jasper could panic too much about broaching the topic. "I think it was just me needing to cope with what happened on Friday, and the stress of the semester. Sunday I got up feeling pretty bitchy and everything was irritating, which is generally a sign that I need to keep myself away from people to keep from snapping."

Jasper nodded. "I know how that goes," he said.

"So…yeah," Edward said into the awkward pause that rose. "I didn't mean to avoid you. Or anyone," he said hastily.

Jasper laughed quietly. "I missed you too, Edward," he whispered into the dark.

Edward thought his smile might split his face wide open. "How was your week?" he asked, glancing over at Jasper.

"Ah," Jasper breathed, and Edward snuck another look at the blonde. "Not great, but I managed," Jasper answered. "I have trouble sleeping and that's reared its head this week. It kind of turned me into a wreck."

"You looked pretty rough yesterday," Edward observed.

"I only had a couple hours sleep each night since Friday," Jasper explained. "Coffee was pretty much the only thing keeping me going and I was out of my stash in the office."

"And Bella and caffeine don't mix," Edward said, his tone teasing. That explained why Jasper had been dashing to the dining hall between classes.

"Is that why she usually drinks tea?"

Edward nodded. "One cup of coffee keeps her fueled for days. Even caffeinated pop can get her pretty efficiently buzzed. It's not really funny, especially when she crashes, but she can run rings around Alice."

Jasper chuckled. "That'd be something to see."

"It's actually a bit scary," Edward said. "You'll probably see it around finals."

"I'll make sure I sound the alarm if I see anything," Jasper teased.

"Good. I want to know when I need to go hide at Mom and Dad's." Edward smiled. "Do you have plans for the mid-semester holiday?"

Jasper shook his head. "Not really. When is it?"

"Two weeks," Edward answered, navigating toward the right lane for the exit into Port Angles. "Alice usually plans something for us."

Jasper nodded. "I'll probably volunteer to stay back on dorm duty, since I don't have anyone to go visit or anything."

"You should come with us," Edward blurted out before he could stop himself. "I mean, you're practically a member of the family since Esme adopted you and Alice won't take no for an answer." He mentally kicked himself. Idiot.

"You don't even know what the plan is," Jasper protested, but Edward had the feeling it was half hearted.

"As soon as I weasel it out of her, I'll let you know," Edward promised. He pulled into a parking lot in front of a rundown looking building.

"What is it with you and hole in the wall places to eat?" Jasper asked, amused as Edward shut off the car.

Edward shrugged, grinning. "They have the best food."

Jasper didn't look quite convinced as the hostess led them to a booth near the back. "What do you recommend here?" He asked as they pulled menus from between the napkin dispenser and salt and pepper shakers.

"I was going to bring us here for dessert," Edward said. "They have live music starting in a couple hours, and the best brownie sundaes."

Jasper grinned at him over his menu. "You've got to have the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I know."

Edward shrugged and smiled.

"You should do that more," Jasper said quietly. "Smile," he continued when Edward looked at him, confused. "It lights up your whole face," he said shyly.

Edward felt his ears go red. He'd been complimented on his looks more times than he could count, but hearing it from Jasper made him feel self conscious.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said quickly. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"You didn't," Edward assured him. "I just haven't had anyone say anything like that to me in a while."

"Really?" Jasper looked like he didn't believe that for a minute.

"That whole withdrawal thing we were talking about?" Edward said. "I didn't leave the house for months unless it was to go to therapy or a doctor's appointment." He looked down at his menu. "I haven't been in any type of relationship in three years," he admitted. "I didn't want pity dates and I couldn't deal with being rejected back then, so I've just kept myself out of the way of people who aren't friends or family."

Jasper looked at him sympathetically. "Edward, even if this, whatever this is," he said with a wave of his hand "between us doesn't work, I'm not going anywhere. Anyone who can't or couldn't see beyond your physical limitations isn't worthy of your time anyway."

Edward's family had been telling him the same thing for three years, but his insecurities wouldn't allow him to believe them. Even coming from Jasper, he had a hard time accepting it as truth, but like everything else in the past several years he was still working on it. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"What can I get you boys?" The waitress interrupted before Jasper could respond.

"I'll have an iced tea," Jasper answered.

"Just water for me," Edward told her.

"Be right back," she said with a nod.

Edward held onto the question on the tip of his tongue – what Jasper wanted 'this' to be. He'd rather not have the waitress reappear in the middle of the conversation, so he occupied himself with studying the menu for a moment, though he knew what he was going to have.

"What do you recommend?" Jasper asked.

"I'm having the chicken and dumplings," Edward answered, putting his menu back in its place.

"Hm," Jasper mused, considering the options as the waitress came back with their drinks.

Edward relayed his order, along with a green salad, dressing on the side. Jasper finally decided on the meatloaf with buttermilk smashed potatoes. When the waitress left again, Edward found himself fiddling with one of the straws she'd dropped on the table between their glasses. He was strangely and suddenly anxious.

Jasper's fingers settled lightly on top of Edward's, stilling his movements. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Edward said quickly. Too quickly.

Jasper smirked. "You can't lie to me, Edward," he said gently. "But you can talk to me. What's got you so anxious all of a sudden?" He didn't move his hand, and Edward was grateful for the grounding touch. There was a current running between them, and Edward had noticed it before, when they'd held hands the previous week. Edward felt both calmed and excited at the contact, and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

"What is this between us?" Edward asked, meeting Jasper's blue eyes. "There's just something about you that makes me feel like I've known you for a lot longer than I really have."

Jasper nodded. "I've felt that, too. I think we've had enough similar hurts to see parts of ourselves in each other. But I think the question is what do we want it to be?" he paused, toying with his iced tea with the hand that wasn't still holding Edward's. "I like you, Edward," Jasper admitted quietly with a soft smile. "I'd like to see where this goes. Like I said, I haven't been with anyone in a long time, and I can't promise to not pull a disappearing act on you if I get freaked out. I have trust issues and I'm not always a pleasant person to be around. But somehow, when I'm around you, I'm much more centered, able to let my guard down. I can't explain it, but it's there."

Edward turned his hand quickly and gave Jasper's fingers a squeeze. "We'll figure things out together, then," he promised. He couldn't say he was any less anxious, but at least he knew where they stood with each other. The attraction between them was clearly double sided, and he felt better knowing that they were on the same page.

"Okay," Jasper said with a nod.

"Okay." Edward returned the grin and reclaimed his hand as the waitress approached with Edward's salad. He picked off the tomatoes and speared lettuce on his fork, dipping carefully into the little dish of dressing. "What?" he asked, looking at Jasper's amused expression.

"Why is it that the only place you don't eat salad like that is at home?" He asked, resting his elbow on the table, chin in his palm.

"Esme makes the best dressing," Edward said like that explained everything.

Jasper shook his head and it was plain that he didn't understand. "That really doesn't make any sense, but okay."

Edward laughed at Jasper's confusion. "I don't like to eat salad plain, but I don't like dressing enough to drench my salad in it, unless it's Esme's. So if it's not Esme's, I dip, so I don't get too much."

He watched as Jasper's jaw clenched, obviously trying to hold back his laughter. "You can laugh," Edward said, chuckling. "I know it's ridiculous, but I've been doing it too long to stop."

Jasper laughed quietly. "Any other strange tendencies I should know about?" he teased.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Like…" Jasper thought for a moment. "How is your music collection organized?"

"Artist, album, year," Edward rattled off easily. "Though since I mostly have digital music files these days, it doesn't matter so much."

"Okay, that sounds fairly normal." Jasper drew his finger through the condensation on his glass. "Do you have to put the toilet paper on a certain way?"

Edward nearly choked on his laughter. "No."

Jasper chuckled. "Alright. Then I think we can assume that your only super strange tendency is that you eat salad in a very weird way."

Edward threw one of his discarded cherry tomatoes at Jasper, who caught it and ate it. Edward made a face.

"And that you don't like tomatoes," Jasper teased.

"They're squishy," Edward protested. "And runny, with a weird texture."

"Do you eat ketchup?" Jasper reached across the table and took the remaining two tomatoes from the edge of Edward's plate.

"Of course. Not on eggs, though," he clarified.

"Good, cause that's nasty. But ketchup is tomatoes," Jasper pointed out.

"Yes, but not raw tomatoes."

Jasper shook his head again, laughing. "You're a strange one, Edward Cullen."

Edward grinned and nodded. "So I've heard." He finished his salad and pushed the plate away. "How about you? Strange tendencies?"

"Well, you know, other than the sacrificing of chickens every full moon..."

Edward laughed. "Right."

Jasper smirked. "Other than frequent bouts of insomnia and a freakishly mild craving for sweets as compared to you and your brother, I think there's nothing too strange."

"Hey, quit picking on me," Edward said as the waitress came by with their entrees.

"Anything else for you two?" She asked.

"Not yet, but I'm sure we'll be wanting dessert," Jasper drawled, smirking at Edward.

"Enjoy your supper boys," she said on a laugh, and they thanked her.

They made more random small talk as they ate, talking about music and books. Edward enjoyed his chicken and dumplings, something he didn't get very often since he'd quit living at home. Emmett never really liked it anyway, so it'd been one of Edward's special occasion foods.

When they'd finished, the waitress came back around and topped off Edward's water and Jasper's tea. "Dessert?"

Edward looked to Jasper. "Now, or would you like to come back later?"

"Either," Jasper answered.

"I think we'll come back," Edward told their server. "We had intended to come by for dessert and music, so I think we'll do just that."

"Alrighty. See you boys later." She dropped the check on the table.

Edward fished out his wallet and left a few bills on the table. "Ready?"

Jasper nodded and slid out of the booth and walked a pace behind Edward, his warm hand against Edward's back under his leather jacket. "So," Jasper said lowly near Edward's ear. "If we're not dancing, what are we doing this evening?"

"I couldn't find a planetarium in driving distance, so I was forced to get creative."

Jasper's chuckle was warm against Edward's neck. "How so?"

"There's an aquarium that does late evening tours on Friday and Saturday nights," Edward explained, unlocking the car.

"Hm," Jasper said, sliding into his seat. "That was pretty creative."

The drive to the aquarium was short, and they were soon gathered with a small group, mostly couples around Edward and Jasper's ages. To set the mood, the lights in the building had been lowered and the exhibits had been lit with warm colors to accentuate the evening theme. Not usually one for overt pda, Edward was relieved when Jasper initiated contact between them, either snaking his hand under the hem of Edward's sweater to rest at the small of his back, or taking his right hand for short periods of time. They lingered toward the back of the tour group so Edward didn't feel like he was holding anyone up.

The tour took an hour and a half and Edward and Jasper were in physical contact for most of it. Edward wouldn't have had it any other way. They both enjoyed the stroll through the exhibits, though Edward thought Jasper was having a better time than he let on. Interest was written across his features every time they stopped in front of a new tank and he was listening fairly intently to the tour guide's information. Especially in comparison to some of the couples around them who had taken advantage of the dark corners. Edward was pleased that he'd made the right choice and that Jasper was enjoying himself.

Jasper insisted on visiting the gift shop before they left and Edward watched, amused, as he shopped. He picked out a couple of postcards, explaining to Edward that he'd gotten in the habit when he was in the service because they travelled more easily than shot glasses. Jasper had also picked up a small fuzzy penguin plush toy for Bella, and a paint by numbers set for Alice.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Edward said as they walked back to the car.

Jasper smiled at him. "I really did. I like doing stuff like this. Museums, aquariums, planetariums." The last was said in a teasing tone before he paused, a hand on Edward's arm making him stop as well. When Edward stopped and looked back at Jasper, Jasper closed the distance between them and kissed him softly.

Edward responded, shifting his weight slightly to his left leg and into Jasper. "You have a thing for dark places you want to tell me about?" He said softly after the kiss ended.

Jasper laughed quietly. "Yeah."

Edward kissed him again lightly and they resumed walking back to his car. "Ready for dessert now?"

Jasper smiled.

So, was it good for you? ;0)

I'll resume the regular posting schedule again on Thursday.