Hello again! I know it's been awhile, but I have almost no chapters finished for you after Chapter 11. My grades aren't exactly the best right now (a C in English... ugh), so my parents aren't exactly apt to let me write/type. But I am writing at school (which is probably why I have bad grades, ha), so updates won't stop completely.

Thanks to everyone who Author Alerted/Story Alerted me, it means so much!

Anyway, here's Chapter 10, enjoy!

Chapter 10-Dirty Little Secret

Sam woke up a few hours later, oblivious to the fact that Snape knew her biggest secret.

"Good morning, love," Snape said, kissing the top of the sleepy girl's head as he sat down next to her. She yawned.

"Hi. What time is it?"

"Eight-thirty."

Sam was suddenly awake. "Eight-thirty? I'm gonna be late for class! Not to mention miss breakfast! I gotta go."

Snape almost laughed, but restrained himself. "It's fine," he said, taking out his wand. "You're already dressed."

Sam looked down and saw that the man had Transfigured her bedclothes into her uniform. She also saw that her book bag was sitting on the floor near the door. "You thought of everythin'. Thanks. But what 'bout my contacts?"

Snape pulled her glasses out of his pocket, placing them on the girl. "Wear these today."

Sam made a face. "But I look like such a nerd with them on."

Snape did chuckle then. "You look fine. Let's get some breakfast, shall we?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry."

The two left the man's quarters and started to head to the Great Hall for breakfast. They chatted amiably, Sam feeling safe because of the man's arm around her shoulders. They were both aware of students staring at them, but found that they didn't care at all. Sam had absolutely no idea that Snape was talking about her scars when he mentioned "Keeping secrets"; she thought he was talking about her nightmares.

The two split off when they reached the Great Hall, Sam going to the Gryffindor table and Snape going to the Staff Table. Each were aware of people staring and whispering at their entrance; the two ignored them with growing annoyance. Sam could hear Crabbe and Goyle loudly asking Draco why he wasn't going to her.

"Come on, you always go say hi to her! What's up with you today?"

"Yeah, you're usually acting all lovey-dovey by now."

Draco said something unintelligible, and a second later they were back to pestering him with questions.

"But she's your girlfriend!"

"You're supposed to do that kind of thing with her!"

Finally, Draco had had enough. "We broke up, okay? Give it a rest, already."

"...Oh."

"Sorry, Draco."

Sam had to fight to keep the tears that welled up from falling. No one would see her cry. No one, save for her friends and Snape, but that was only when no one was around. She sat down next to Ron, across from Harry, and diagonal to Hermione. "Hey, guys."

Hermione began worrying all over her the moment she spoke. "Are you alright, Sam? I was trying so hard to wake you up last night, but Ennervate didn't even occur to me. You're okay, right?"

"Hermione, leave her alone; she's fine," Harry said, trying to calm the over-worried girl down. "You are okay, though?"

"Sounded like a bloody horrible dream, it did," Ron put in.

"Yeah, it was," Sam conceded. "But I'm fine now, Harry. Don't worry 'bout me so much, Hermione, I can handle it."

"Hey, Sam," called Dean Thomas, a boy in their year, from down the table.

"Hey yourself, Dean. What's up?"

"We were wondering down at this end of the table what's going on with you and Snape. It seemed like he was actually being nice. What's up with that?"

"He's like a dad to me, 'kay? He's the first wizard I met, besides my dad, but he don't count. Anyway, he's always been nice to me. He was helpin' me calm down after that nightmare last night."

"...Oh, alright."

"Sam? We wanted to ask you something," said Lavender Brown.

"Oh, yeah? Shoot."

Lavender looked at her posse conspiratorially before continuing. "We've heard that you and Malfoy broke up. Is that true?"

You could practically hear a pin drop at the Gryffindor table. Everyone wanted to hear the answer to that particular question. The light in Sam's eyes went out.

"Yeah, we did. That it? I'm ready to leave."

The other girl leaned back with a self-satisfied smirk. "Yes, that's all."

Sam stood up and walked away, ignoring Hermione's shouts to wait up. She left the Great Hall at a power-walk, wanting to get away from the stares, from the whispers of curious students. She turned down a little-used corridor, aware that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were just behind her. After a moment, she found that she didn't want to walk anymore. She dropped her book bag and punched the wall with a wordless shriek, her emotions overwhelming her. She sank to the ground in tears, letting her emotions take control of her for the moment.

"Sam!" she heard Harry shout. Or was it Ron? Maybe it was Hermione. Then again, it could've been someone else completely, but she couldn't tell. She was dimly aware of someone, more than one someone actually, kneeling down next to her and holding her. She was no longer crying; she was full-on sobbing, sobs wracking her thin frame. She was confused; she wanted Draco back so badly, but she wasn't sure if he wanted to get back with her. It was all too confusing. What was that kiss all about, anyway? Why would he do that? Was there something wrong with her? These were the types of things running through Sam's mind.

Draco got up when Sam and the Golden Trio left, wanting to see what was going on. It was obvious from where he was watching that that Brown girl had asked Sam something incredibly rude, and he wanted to know what was going on. He exited the Great Hall just in time to see Potter's robes disappear around a corner. He followed, and stopped at the corner before them, so they wouldn't see him. He leaned forward and saw Sam punch a wall before sliding down it in tears.

"Sam!" the Golden Trio shouted simultaneously.

Draco watched as his former girlfriend broke down completely, gut-wrenching sobs tearing from her throat. He felt horrible; he should be there, comforting her, but his presence would only make her angry. Sam was hiccuping; done with sobbing, but still upset.

"Sam, listen to me," Granger said in a soothing voice.

Sam looked up at the other girl, tears silently streaming down her face while she hiccuped.

"Don't cry about what Lavender said. She's not worth it."

Sam nodded.

"Yeah," added Weasley, "and don't cry over Malfoy either, alright? He's not worth your tears."

The girl didn't respond at first, then nodded.

"Hey," Potter said gently. "D'you want me to call your boys? I'm sure they'd like to meet Malfoy."

Sam laughed, obviously imagining Draco being beat up. Her laughter died down quickly, though, and soon she was sober-faced.

"Hey guys?" she asked quietly, so quietly that Draco had to strain his ears to hear.

"Yeah Sam?" Granger asked.

"Could you kinda move away a bit? Y'all know I'm claustrophobic."

"Oh, definitely."

This gave Draco something to think about. Sam was claustrophobic? He'd heard that term used a few times, but he had no idea what it actually meant. He'd have to find out. Right now, though, he had to get to class or risk being late. Again. He'd been late at least ten times already...because he was snogging Sam. Merlin, he needed to find something to take his mind off her.

***

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Sam walked into Herbology late that morning. Professor Sprout, at first, looked disapproving, but when she saw Sam's red eyes, she simply said: "Try not to make a habit of it."

"Are you alright?" Hannah Abbot, a kindly Hufflepuff across from Sam asked.

"Yeah, fine. Thanks, Hannah."

And so it went for the rest of the day. People would come up to her to either ask her if she was okay or to ask her questions. That is, except for the Slytherins. Most of them didn't like her to begin with, so they didn't care. It got annoying for Sam really quickly; someone would always seem to come up to her just as she'd gotten everything off her mind, and then they'd remind her of what was going on.

Potions was by far the worst class of the day. She sat with Hermione for the first time in weeks, and she was having trouble getting used to the other girl's industriousness again. Also, Potions was a double period with the Slytherins, so she had to endure two hours in the same room as Draco, which was awkward for the both of them. On top of all that, she was constantly getting looks of sympathy and pity from the Gryffindors and sneers and looks of superiority from the Slytherins.

Sam was more than glad when classes were over for the day, and promptly went to the library to listen to her music in solitude.

"I'm doin' fine

And the sun often shines

What are you thinking?

At the worst of my mind

With this thunderbird wine

Baby, I'm drinking-

Only you know me

Since you went away, my heart breaks everyday

You don't know 'cause you're not there

You simply found the words to make a lot of feelings fade away(our model feelings)

Only you know me

Only you know me..."

Hearing the lyrics to that song made a few tears escape Sam's eyes. It fit her and Draco's situation. Pretty soon it was curfew, and Sam left the library, heading for Gryffindor Tower. She skipped hanging out with her friends and went straight to bed, despite the fact that it was only eight o'clock. Hermione came in and wanted to know why she wasn't hanging out with everyone, annoying Sam to no end.

"I'm not hangin' out with y'all 'cause I don't want to, 'kay? Just leave me alone!"

That night, Sam woke up around eleven-thirty and began to think about what was going on in her life. She thought about Draco, her friends, her cutting, and everything else. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore and stood up, quietly sneaking out of the dormitory.

***

"Come to Mama," Sam thought as she opened the bottle of Firewhiskey. She'd gone down to the kitchen and asked the house elves if they had any alcohol, telling them that some of the older students were having a party. The little elves were more than delighted to give her a bottle.

"Thank God for alcohol," she thought once she took a swig. She reveled in the familiar tingling in the back of her brain; she would get drunk more quickly on that than on Muggle beer, and she was glad. "As long as I don't pass out and make it to the Tower by mornin', I'm good." She kept swigging the whiskey straight from the bottle, looking around the empty classroom she'd found to hide out in.

Under the influence of the alcohol, all of Sam's sadness turned into anger and rage. She stood up and kicked over the chair she'd been sitting in, feeling satisfied at the crash it made. She set the mostly-empty bottle of Firewhiskey down and started kicking over chairs and overturning tables. After a few moments she felt good enough to pick up chairs and throw them against the wall. She didn't think; she simply acted. Something caught her eye and made her stop. The bottle. It was made of glass. Glass was sharp when broken...

Sam reached down and picked up the bottle, throwing it against a wall. Quickly, she went and picked up the sharpest shard she could see and brought it down once, twice, three times on her wrist. Alcohol numbing her brain, she barely felt a thing, but she knew that her blood was on her skin, and that was all that mattered in that moment.

***

Snape was on night duty that night, wandering around the castle to make sure there were no students out of bed. If there were, in fact, students out of bed, he would get to give them detention. He was just walking past a little-used corridor when he heard a crash.

"What the--," he thought, wondering whether or not it was Peeves trying to be annoying again. He heard the sound again, and slowly headed in the general direction from where the noise came. The crashes were coming more and more now, and it left Snape able to find the classroom from where the noises were.

He found the door, but when he leaned in he didn't hear anything but the sound of feet. Suddenly the sound of breaking glass came, followed, after a moment, by the sound of a single shard of glass hitting the floor. After a few moments, the crashes resumed. Snape opened the door to find Sam kicking desks over, throwing chairs at walls, and breaking everything she saw.

"Sam!" he shouted. He was ignored. "Sam!"

The girl didn't seem to notice him; she kept on trashing the room. Snape saw a broken bottle of Firewhiskey on the ground and his heart sank.

"She drank almost a whole bottle of Firewhiskey. She's definitely wasted; I'm amazed she hasn't passed out."

Snape walked up behind the girl and grabbed her around the waist, knowing that there was no other way she would pay attention to him. She instantly began kicking the man, shouting obscenities.

"Holy shit! Lemme go, you son of a bitch! You coward, lemme the hell go! Get your Goddamn hands off me!"

"Sam!" Snape tried to shout over her. "Sam, listen to me!"

"There ain't no way in hell I'm gonna listen to a Goddamn coward! Put me down so I can fight you right!"

"I'm not putting you down! Come on, Sam, listen to me! It's Mr. Snape, remember me? I know you can hear me! It's Mr. Snape; stop fighting me!"

It took a few minutes, but eventually Sam stopped fighting. At first, Snape thought it was because she finally understood him, but he soon found that he was wrong.

"There you go, Sam, stop fighting me. You know you don't want to. Listen to me... What's that smell?"

Snape could smell something metallic, but he couldn't place it. Yes, it was a familiar smell to him, but he just couldn't tell what it was. He slowly became aware of something warm trickling down his arm. Looking down, Snape realized two things. First, the girl in his arms had cut herself with glass from the Firewhiskey bottle. Second, Sam hadn't stopped fighting him. She'd passed out from blood loss.

***

Sam woke up in a room that was much too bright for her. She tried to sit up, but someone gently pushed her back down. It was just as well. She felt like she would be sick right there if she moved her head. Nevertheless, she rolled her head to her right and could vaguely see the form of her glasses on a nightstand. Someone took them and placed them on her. Now that she was able to see, Sam could tell that she was in the Hospital Wing. Looking to her right, she saw that Snape was sitting on a chair next to her.

"Hello, love," he greeted.

"How long have I been here?" she asked, voice raspy.

The man gently stroked her hair. "Twelve hours. It's one in the afternoon."

"What happened? I kinda remember classes yesterday... and yellin' at Hermione and goin' to bed early... but that's it."

"You went down to the kitchens, remember? You got a bottle of Firewhiskey and got drunk. Then you broke the bottle and cut yourself."

"What?" Sam sat up quickly and a wave of nausea overcame her. "I think I'm gonna be sick..."

Quickly, Snape conjured a trash can and held it under Sam's head as her stomach emptied itself, rubbing her back. She coughed a few times before coming up.

"Thanks," she said weakly.

Snape vanished the trash can and wiped the girl's mouth, gently helping her lay back down while placing a hand on her forehead to check for a temperature.

"If you were right 'bout the Firewhiskey, then I just have a hangover. At least it feels like I got one."

"I know, but better safe than sorry."

Madame Pomfrey bustled out at that moment.

"I thought I heard something, is everything alright?"

Snape answered. "Yes, Poppy, Sam woke up a few moments ago and got sick."

"The alcohol, no doubt. How are you feeling, Miss Biluxy?"

"Alright if I don't try to sit up."

"Understandable. You don't feel dizzy or lightheaded at all?"

"Like I said, only if I try to sit up."

The mediwitch performed a diagnostic spell on the girl.

"Well, you seem fine for the moment. How about we change your bandages?"

"Bandages?"

"Remember what I told you, Sam?" Snape gently reminded. "You cut yourself with glass from the Firewhiskey bottle."

"Oh yeah."

Madame Pomfrey looked up sharply. "She doesn't remember?"

"She told me that she remembers everything before she snuck out of Gryffindor Tower. She doesn't even remember waking up."

Sam, who'd been thinking hard about what she'd been told about the night before, spoke up. "Now that you mention it, I remember some things. I remember bein' real sad, then bein' real pissed off, and I remember throwin' some chairs and knockin' desks over, but that's it. It's prob'ly the Firewhiskey; alcohol does that, you know?"

Pomfrey obviously still had her doubts, but nodded and began to change Sam's bandages. Snape gasped through his teeth. Sam's wrist was raw and bloody; one could easily see where the skin was cut. Sam looked a bit paler than usual, but other than that, she seemed to act like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"It's been worse, believe me. Once, I went and mud wrestled with Josh while the cuts were still open, and they got infected real bad. That wasn't fun."

"Why on Earth were you two mud wrestling?"

"'Cause it'd just rained, and we thought it'd be fun. It was, 'till I found out that my cuts were infected."

Snape shook his head. "Sometimes I wonder about you."

"What d'you mean?"

"Sometimes you do things that are just so incredibly stupid."

"Hey, I try to have fun when I can."

"There's a difference between 'having fun' and 'being stupid'."

Madame Pomfrey finished with Sam's bandages and handed her a potion.

"Drink this."

Sam did so, passing the goblet back quickly. The mediwitch left, and once she'd gone into her office, Sam made a face and shuddered.

"Ugh, nasty. What was that stuff?"

Snape smiled at her reaction. "A Blood-Replenishing potion. It helps your body get back all that lost blood."

"Speaking of, did you already know that I'm a cutter? You don't seem real surprised 'bout that part."

"Don't label yourself like that. And yes, I did know; I found out the night you came in from your nightmare."

"Oh. Is that why you were talkin' t'me 'bout keepin' secrets?"

"Yes, and also because you won't tell me what your nightmares are about."

"I thought so..." Sam yawned hugely. "Sorry."

"It's alright." Snape replied, taking off the girl's glasses and kissing her forehead. "Get some sleep, alright? I'll be right here."

She yawned again and closed her eyes. "'Kay."

Soon she was asleep, oblivious to the world around her. Snape watched her, watched the way she breathed slowly and regularly, the way her face was smoothed into peace, the way nothing seemed to bother her when she was like that. The doors opened and Dumbledore stepped in, walking directly over to Sam's bed and sitting on the other side of the girl. Snape ignored him and gently brushed hair away from the girl's face.

"How is she?" Dumbledore quietly asked after a minute or two.

"She's doing fairly well. She woke up a few minutes ago, but I made her get some more sleep."

"How did she feel?"

"From what she said, she has a nasty hangover. She got sick as soon as she sat up. Other than that, she's fine."

There was a pause, during which Dumbledore was preoccupied with choosing a lemon drop to eat. It wasn't exactly an awkward silence, but it wasn't altogether not awkward either. Snape remembered something.

"Albus, Minerva said something the day before yesterday about some papers you might have. Concerning Sam and I?"

Dumbledore looked up, having unstuck two lemon drops from each other. "I was wondering when you might ask. When are you planning on having them signed?"

"On Christmas, they're going to be a present."

Dumbledore smiled, baby blue eyes twinkling madly. "I have a feeling that this will be the most memorable Christmas she's had."

"That's the goal."

Dumbledore stood up. "The papers will be in your bottom desk drawer. I'll speak to you later. I need to go substitute one of your classes."

"Goodbye Albus."

The man left, and Snape inwardly sighed. Fourth Years were going to spend two hours learning to brew lemon drops. That was going to be a disaster. He groaned and rubbed his face with a hand. Distantly, he heard the sound of the door opening, sounding like someone was trying to get in unnoticed. He looked at the water pitcher, which was made of metal. He could make out a shock of platinum blonde hair. What was Draco doing there?

"You can come in, you know."

Draco jumped, startled. How did Snape know he was there? He shut the door and walked in, taking the chair opposite the man.

"Where are you supposed to be?"

"Potions, sir."

Snape couldn't resist glaring at the boy across from him. "And why did you decide to skip my class?"

Draco winced at the glare. "I heard from other people that you weren't there."

"Well, why did you come here?"

The boy hung his head. "I wanted to see Sam, sir."

"You understand that her seeing you may not be the best thing at the moment, right?"

"Yes, sir. I was going to see if she was asleep before I came in."

"Draco."

The boy looked up at his name. The Potions Master almost never used his first name. "Sir?"

"What happened that night? When Sam broke up with you?"

"I was going back to the Common Room, and Pansy called me over. She said it was something important. I went over and she started talking about something, I don't remember, I just know that it was pointless. One of her friends shouted 'She's coming' and Pansy pretty much attacked me. I was still in shock when Sam came out and saw us. I didn't want to hurt Pansy, but I broke it off and saw Sam standing there. I tried to explain it all to her, but she just wouldn't listen."

Snape thought about this information for a few moments. "You're saying that you were not snogging Ms. Parkinson?"

"No, she was snogging me!"

The two looked down, tense, as Sam groaned and turned her head. She didn't wake up, though, and was soon still once more.

"Is she alright? I'm not about to go by what rumors say."

"What are they saying?"

"That she went crazy, started trashing the room, and knocked herself out."

"You were right to not listen to the rumors. She decided to drink a whole bottle of Firewhiskey by herself. I daresay that the alcohol turned every emotion she was feeling at that moment into rage. You already knew about the cutting?"

Draco looked down at the bandages on the girl's left wrist. "I had an idea, but I wasn't sure if I was right."

"You were. Apparently everything became too much, because she smashed the empty bottle against the wall and used the glass to cut herself. That's why she was unconscious; she passed out from blood loss."

The boy looked guilt-ridden. "I should've done something. I mean, I could've told her what really happened, and none of this would've happened. This is all my fault."

Snape reached over and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "No, it's not. If anyone is to blame, it's Ms. Parkinson for starting all of this. Don't blame yourself for something that's not your fault."

Draco gave the man a half-smile. "Thank you, Professor. That really helps."

"You're welcome. Now, you should get back to class."

"Won't your substitute be angry?"

"It's the Headmaster; I daresay he'll understand."

Chapter 10-End

Well, did you like it or hate it? Or did you feel anything at all? Please review and let me know, because I'm always open to constructive criticism. Or praise. Praise works, too.

Chapter 11-Winter Wonderland will be coming later this month, so keep an eye out for it!

Thanks again for reading!!!

~artyluvr