February 26th

Dear Diary,

The fact that Cynthia is in Hudson again for school break, coupled with the fact that my dad had decided to go to Chicago for the weekend for some kind of art fair, means that I'm free to do as I please.

And, seeing as Jasper still hasn't set one foot over the door of his parents' house since that disastrous brunch, 'whatever I please' meant that I headed over to Emmett's last night.

Spending the night making out with just about the hottest guy in existence is a stellar way to start the weekend. Waking up tucked into bed beside him is even better.

That's how I woke up this morning – snuggled in Jasper's arms with the duvet twisted around my legs.

Sleeping, Jasper looked like an actual angel, straight out of a Botticelli painting. I woke up first, and amused myself by resting my chin on his chest and watching him sleep. His eyelashes cast spiky shadows across the lightly tanned skin of his cheeks, and his full lips were slightly parted as he breathed in deep, even breaths.

I could've looked at him forever. If we'd been at my place, I'd have already grabbed my sketch pad. I was deliberating rifling through Emmett's drawers to see if he had paper and a number 2 pencil I could use, when Jasper cracked open one vibrantly blue eye.

"Stop watching me sleep, Ali. Go and find something more productive to do."

I felt my face flame, even though I could tell he was teasing. Hopefully my stare-a-thon had come across as charmingly besotted, rather than Glenn-Close-in-Fatal-Attraction-level obsession.

"I wasn't staring," I lied.

"Yes, you were. I can feel you watching me." His eyes opened all the way, and his lips tugged upwards into an adorably sleepy smile. "There are more fun ways to wake me up, you know…"

I bit my lip as he let the suggestive comment trail off, torn between being thrilled and nervous. As much as the last eleven days had delivered many a heated make-out session, we'd still not done anything more explicit than that. I'd slept in his bed – or technically, Emmett's bed – twice, and my PJ shorts and tank top had remained firmly in place the entire time. The terrified virgin in me appreciated his show of gentlemanly restraint, but another, wilder part of me was beginning to surface now. And that part was practically screaming at Jasper to make a proper move already.

Desperate to distract myself from my wayward thoughts, I sat up.

"I'm gonna get some water," I told him. "You want any?"

"Nah, I'm good. I'll just steal some of yours."

With a smile, I rolled over and out of the bed. My bare feet hit the carpet with a muted thump, and I headed out the door. I tried not to think about the fact that I could feel Jasper's gaze lingering at the hem of my very short shorts as I walked away.

If I thought about it too much, there would be very little stopping me from throwing caution to the wind – along with the shorts, probably – and just jumping back into the bed to seal the deal.

And if I was truly honest with myself, I wasn't quite ready for that, as much as I wanted to be.

I pulled a tall glass from Emmett's top cabinet when I reached the kitchen, and held it under the stream of icy water from the sink faucet. Peeking in a couple of the cupboards, I managed to scrounge up a couple of strawberry flavored pop tarts. Jamming them into the toaster, I leaned against the counter to wait.

"What're you cooking?" Jasper called through from the bedroom.

"Pop tarts," I shouted back. "I put one on for you."

"Thanks!"

Cocking my head to one side, I listened for the sound of bedsprings. Not that I expected to hear them – Jasper made a point of staying in bed until early afternoon unless he had a very good reason not to. When silence greeted my ears, I allowed myself a small smile. I liked that I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't about to budge any time soon.

I hummed contentedly to myself as I bustled around the kitchen, pulling out a couple of plates to serve our breakfast on. Emmett would be pleased with me, when he eventually came back here. I'd cleaned the place from top to bottom. To be honest, I had no idea how he'd even managed to exist in such a slovenly way for so long. Men really are slobs.

Honestly, diary, it was as if my thoughts had suddenly conjured him up out of nowhere.

The sound of the front door banging open caused me to jump. I sloshed water all down my tank top with the motion, turning the sky blue material slightly translucent. I was looking around the kitchen for a weapon to defend myself with when I heard a familiar voice from the doorway.

"Hey, Tink. Love the hair."

Emmett stood in the entrance; a gym bag slung carelessly over one shoulder, taking up more space with his bulk than should be allowed. His gray-green eyes were deeply amused as he regarded my barely-there pajamas and sleep-tousled curls.

"Emmett! I didn't know you were coming back today."

"Neither did Jasper." Yep, that was definitely humor in his tone. He gave me a quick once over, and I tried unsuccessfully to tug my shorts down to cover more of my legs. "I think it's going to be a surprise for all of us."

The pop tarts pinged out of the toaster, and I just left them there, blushing furiously under his playful, knowing gaze. "It's good that you're out."

"You're telling me," he agreed, and then raised his voice loud enough to carry through to the bedroom. "Oi, Jasper! Get your lazy ass out of my bed and come say hi!"

I heard a muffled curse, followed by a loud squeal of springs as Jasper rolled off the mattress. A moment later, he was strolling into the kitchen, once again wearing nothing but the sweats he'd worn to bed. They hung low on his hips, and my eyes were immediately drawn to the pale line of hair that ran from his belly button out of sight below his waistband. I swallowed nervously.

Jasper crossed defined arms over his sculpted chest, arching both brows at his friend. "I see they finally let you out of the nut house, then."

"It was a rehab facility," Emmett chuckled. "But yeah. Sorry to interrupt. Though, for the record, you're stripping my bed before I get back in it. He who compromised the virtue changes the sheets. House rules."

If my face got any redder, I think I'd actually have turned into a tomato. "I… uh… we didn't…"

Emmett smirked. "Sure you didn't."

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

Jasper, meanwhile, simply grinned. "Relax, Em, both your sheets and Alice's virtue remain uncompromised."

"Seriously?" Emmett laughed. "Well, didn't your mama raise you right, Jasper Whitlock!"

"She didn't raise me at all." He said the words like they meant nothing, but I caught a flash of something painful in the cobalt twists of his irises. "Maggie did. And she was always a good little Catholic girl." A lopsided grin spread across his face. "Or, at least, so she tells me."

Emmett sniggered, and his eyes flickered between the two of us. I hoped my face had returned to a normal human color, but I couldn't be sure. "So, what's going on with you two then?"

"Uh…" Jasper shot me a look that was almost… nervous? "We're…"

"Together?" Emmett finished.

Jasper rumpled his already messy hair. "I hadn't officially asked or anything, but…"

"Yeah," I piped up. "We're together."

The smile Jasper gave me made my heart stutter in my chest.

"Well, about time, too," grunted Emmett, and he set his bag down on the tile with a loud smack. "Seeing as you've been using my house as a love shack, one of you better make yourself useful and make me some coffee."

I stood on tiptoe to pull a mug out of the top cupboard and began ladling coffee into it. "You've only got the instant kind," I told Emmett mournfully. He chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm all about the instant gratification, Tink. You should know that by now."

Jasper hopped up onto the counter beside me, fingers combing through my hair as I stood there waiting for the kettle to boil. His touch sent shivers down my spine, which I tried dutifully to ignore for Emmett's sake.

"Did Edward not spring you?" Jazz asked, making a show of glancing around the kitchen, like he expected his friend to suddenly appear.

"Nah. He's too busy getting it on with his girl-next-door type." Emmett grinned ruefully. "I swear, all of you kids are getting more action than me, these days."

"What about Rosalie?" The question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. Emmett frowned.

"What about her?"

"Well, I thought you two were…" I trailed off, unwilling to actually say the words aloud. "She's nuts about you."

"Me and Rosie? You're kidding!" he let out a laugh, which, if I didn't know any better, sounded nervous. "We're not… she's not… no…"

This time, I laughed. I turned to Jasper with a conspiratorial wink. His blue eyes twinkled back at me in amusement.

"You know, Em, I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before," he said slyly, stretching like a cat. "It's an improvement."

"Ha ha." Emmett recovered himself, but just barely. He still wore the expression of someone who'd just been clubbed over the head with something heavy. It was only then that it occurred to me that men aren't just slobs – they're also idiots. How can they not tell when girls like them? It takes a special kind of obliviousness to spend so much time with someone and not pick up on that.

The conversation continued in much the same teasing way over coffee and pop tarts – Emmett made me put one on for him as well – and I found myself marveling once again at the way things had changed so drastically for me in the space of a few short weeks. I'd been Billy No Mates. Now I had a group of friends, fun ones, and I had… Jasper. My boyfriend. Officially. Eek.

Jasper and I got ourselves dressed and got out of Emmett's hair shortly after breakfast. We were walking hand in hand towards the subway station, chatting away, and I was just about ready to float on air.

"Jazz…" I said, tugging him to a stop. He twisted around so that he could pull me into his arms, heedless of the people trying to sidestep past us.

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you'd maybe go someplace with me."

He arched one eyebrow, smirking. "Be vaguer."

I blushed. "Sorry. I want to go to the hospital to visit Leah."

"Oh." He considered for a moment. "Are you sure that's okay? Me coming with you, I mean. I've never met her before, after all."

"Yeah, it's fine." I ducked my head against his chest, embarrassed about admitting the next part. "I… uh… might've told her about you. She's been dying to meet you for ages."

"Ages?" Both of Jasper's eyebrows shot up this time, and I mentally kicked myself for my slip-up. "Exaggerate, much? We've only been together for a couple of weeks."

"Uh… yeah…"

"Alice." There was a spark of curiosity in his indigo eyes. "When did you say you told her about me?"

"Um…"

"Alice."

I pressed my forehead even closer to his sweater, about ready to expire from mortification. "Sophomore year?" The words came out like a question.

Jasper went so still, it was like he was made out of stone. I froze, too, waiting for him to freak out. His voice was very quiet when he spoke. "Just how long have you liked me, exactly?"

I wanted the ground to open up underneath me and swallow me and my big mouth whole. "Since… well… I…"

"Alice."

"Freshman orientation," I muttered. My cheeks were hot enough to fry eggs on.

Again, Jasper was quiet for entirely too long. He took a step away from me, but I was relieved to see that he still kept his hands on my waist. I braved a glance up at him to find him looking down at me with the strangest expression on his face. It wasn't freaked out. It was more… incredulous.

"You…" He shook his head, like he was trying to clear his thoughts. "Are you kidding me?"

Meekly, I shook my head.

"You mean to tell me that you've had a crush on me for years, and you never said anything? Never even spoke to me?"

"Uh… yeah…"

He closed his eyes, letting out all of his breath in one big whoosh. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Jasper…" Abruptly, I was terrified. He totally thought I'd gone all Glenn Close now. I imagined he was about to hot-foot it home and start hiding his rabbits. Assuming he had rabbits, which, come to think of it, he probably didn't. Still.

"Alice!" he groaned. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"Well, how was I supposed to say to you that I…" I broke off. No need to make the situation any more painful.

"I've been obsessing over you for years, thinking you hated me and everything to do with my world, and now I find out that I didn't have to? I could've just chucked Maria and asked you out when I was sixteen!"

My jaw dropped. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me." The playful, teasing light was back in his eyes. "God, I could've saved myself so much heartache."

"You…" I tried to get that to compute in my head, but it was suddenly like he was speaking a language I didn't understand. "You liked me? Back then, I mean?"

"Have you not been listening to a single word I've said over the last couple of weeks?" He sounded amused, and a little exasperated. "I've basically told you as much a bunch of times."

"But, why?" I murmured. To be honest, I still didn't really get why he liked me now.

"Are you crazy? Look at you. How could I not?" His eyes trailed over me, making a complete sweep before landing back on my face. "I've been pining after you since the first time I ever spoke to you."

I dropped my gaze, pleasantly embarrassed again. "I'm not that special. I'm not even that pretty." Not compared to the Adonis that he was, anyway.

"No." He caught my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "You're right. You're not special. You're not pretty." I felt my face fall a little, but there was something fervent in his eyes that told me he wasn't done. He leaned his forehead down against mine, and when he next spoke, his voice was low and full of ardor. "You are the most beautiful creature walking this earth."

The conviction in his tone – not to mention the words themselves – made me catch my breath. A second later, he was kissing me. I'd never been a fan of public displays of affection, but I melted into his embrace like ice-cream in July. My fingers twisted in his hair as he swept me off my feet – figuratively as well as literally. Forget flying. I was in orbit.

He ended the kiss when we were both in danger of passing out, and I heard a couple of catcalls from the opposite side of the street. We ignored them, lost in our own little bubble of bliss. I couldn't believe that any of this was real.

I love you. I wanted to say the words, but they got stuck in my throat. They were monumental, and terrifying, especially since I knew that they were true. I do love him. So much so that it hurts to be apart from him. But I knew that telling him that, giving away my heart entirely, wasn't something to be done in the middle of a crowded street. So, instead, I said – "Wow, Mr. Whitlock, you really are quite the charmer, aren't you?"

He grinned lopsidedly. "Only on the days that end in 'y'."

I laughed. "So, will you come with me to see Leah?"

He stepped back again, sliding his fingers through mine. "Sure."

Lincoln Memorial was full on visiting hours, but I navigated our way to Leah's room without much difficulty. Jasper hadn't let go of my hand since our little interlude on the street, and I must've looked like I slept with a hanger in my mouth, my grin was so ginormous. This, I realized, was what it felt like to be truly happy.

Leah was up and awake when we stopped in at her room. "Hey, sweetie," she greeted.

I did a quick assessment of her progress. There was color in her cheeks today, and her gorgeous russet skin had lost that peaky look. I let go of Jasper in favor of giving her a kiss on the cheek. Her dark eyes were bright with interest as she regarded him over my shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Better. I needed less morphine to tone down the bitchiness today." She gave me a tired grin, and then jerked her head in Jazz's direction. "Well done, Ali. He's cute."

Jasper grinned wryly at the compliment, and I couldn't help the giggle that came out of my mouth. "I know, right?" I teased. "Rich, too."

"Score."

Chuckling, Jasper extended a hand towards her. "Jasper Whitlock. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Manners. Ooh, I like that." Leah took his proffered hand. "I'm Leah Clearwater, Alice's honorary big sister. And you, honey, are a sight for sore eyes."

I could almost swear that Jasper actually blushed a little. Only a little, though. "Uh, thanks."

"You being good to my Ali?" she asked. "Treating her right?"

I rolled my eyes, but Jasper answered seriously. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good stuff. And you're being careful? Always using protection?"

"Leah!" I gasped, mortified. Jasper grinned.

"What?" she teased. "If a big sister can't ask that, what can she ask?"

"Oh my God, you're so embarrassing!" I muttered, burying my face in my hands.

"Sweetie, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. If I had a boyfriend that looked like that when I was sixteen…" she trailed off wistfully, shooting Jasper a wink. He snickered.

After that, mercifully, the conversation drifted to more polite and decent topics. Jasper took a lot of interest in her journalistic career, paying rapt attention to all of her stories. She laughed easily at his jokes, and by the time visiting hours were almost over, she was ready to declare to anyone who'd listen – nurses, orderlies, the occasional doctor – that she was planning a June wedding for the pair of us. As excruciating as I found the whole ordeal, Jasper found it equally amusing.

At least, until Seth showed up.

He edged his way into the room with a bouquet of daisies under one arm, and his face immediately lit up when he saw that I was there. Then his gaze landed on Jasper, and his expression froze. Uh oh. I remembered something Seth had said about Leah needing to remain out of the public eye while she recovered, and I imagined he wouldn't like the idea of the press's favorite poster boy visiting her.

"Oh," he said. "Hey."

"Hi," Jasper was still grinning at whatever Leah had just said, and seemed oblivious to the sudden tension radiating from Seth. "How's it going?"

"Good," he replied stiffly. He turned to me. "Uh, Alice, can I borrow you for a sec?"

Bewildered, but with a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, I got to my feet. "Uh huh."

I followed Seth out of the room and around the corner. He stopped at the nurses' station, leaning against the counter and surveying me with the strangest look in his eyes. I dithered a couple of feet away, inexplicably nervous as I waited for him to speak.

"So… you and Whitlock… that's serious?"

Not the opening I'd been expecting. I'd been preparing myself for him to berate me for bringing Jasper here to visit his sister when he didn't know her from Eve. "Uh, yeah. Well, I mean, I hope so."

"Right." There was a weird tightness in his voice that I couldn't comprehend. "So, have you slept with him?"

"Seth!" I couldn't believe how brazen people were being about my sex life. "That's…" I didn't know why I didn't just tell him the truth – I mean, we tell each other everything. I'd had to listen to Seth's recounting of when he lost his virginity in painful detail. Instead, I narrowed my eyes and said, "that's none of your business."

"Sure." He didn't sound sure. In fact, he sounded pissed off. "Whatever you say."

"What's up your ass?" I demanded.

"Nothing." He took a deep breath, and shut his eyes. When he opened them again, his expression had morphed into something a little more Seth-like, except it was full of concern. "Just… be careful, okay?"

It was dangerously close to what Leah had said. "Are you giving me 'the talk'?"

"No. I meant be careful with him. I don't want you to get hurt."

My nose wrinkled in utter confusion. "Why would I get hurt?"

"Because teenage guys – particularly spoilt rich kids like him – are used to getting what they want. And they get bored of their shiny toys pretty quickly."

Ouch. I felt like he'd just gut-punched me. "Are you saying that he's just going to use me and dump me?"

"I'm saying you should keep your eyes open."

My temper flared. "You know, Seth, not all guys are as callous with women as you."

This time, it was Seth who jerked like I'd punched him. "Nice, Ali."

"Well, you started it."

"I'm only looking out for you." His sanctimonious tone irked me. How dare he try and claim the high ground on this conversation?

I glared up into his annoyingly handsome face, wishing I was tall enough to actually punch him in it. That'd show him. "No, you're being an ass. Which, come to think of it, isn't that far a departure from tradition."

"There's no need to be such a bitch. I'm trying to help."

"You're trying to ruin the one thing that's made me happy since I started at Constance." My hands braced on my hips, I intensified my glower. "Where do you get off, Seth? What gives you the right to try and poison this? You don't want me to be happy?"

"I don't want you to get eaten alive by those elitist bastards, Al! What do you think is going to happen if you keep dating this guy? You're not one of them. You don't belong in his world! I'm trying to protect you."

"Here's a thought," I spat. "Don't."

With that, I turned on my heel, and stormed back into Leah's room. I told her that Jasper and I had to leave. He took one look at my thunderous expression and didn't question the matter.

Jasper tried to get me to tell him what had gone down between Seth and I, but I refused to talk about it. I didn't even want to acknowledge that he'd gotten to me. I hadn't fought with Seth – really fought, that is – in years. The look on his face when I'd left him kept coming back on me like a dodgy meal.

Edward had texted Jasper for us to meet up with him and Bella at Central Park for a picnic. The idea seemed goofily romantic – kind of like Edward himself – and I could use any distraction, so it was a half hour later that we met them.

Bella had spread out a checkered blanket across a big patch of grass that was half in the shade of two massive trees, and Edward seemed to have brought enough food to feed the five thousand.

We sat and ate our fill, laughing and joking like normal. But all the while, Seth's words were bouncing around my head. You don't belong in his world.

Eventually, I managed to put Seth out of my head. The sun was beginning to set, and I lay snuggled up on the blanket with Jasper, tucked under his arm with my head on his chest. Bella sat between Edward's legs as he propped himself up on a nearby tree, and I could tell that the wine we'd been drinking had gone straight to her head. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were a little too bright.

"Did you guys ever notice how pretty the clouds are?" she gushed.

Edward seemed to find her slight intoxication almost as amusing as I did. "Can't say that I did, Bells."

"They are!" she insisted, leaning her head back on his shoulder. "They're so pretty. Almost as pretty as you."

Jasper and I exchanged grins. I suddenly noticed that my face felt a little warm from the alcohol consumption, too. Apparently Bella wasn't the only one feeling the effects.

"You okay, Alice?" Jasper whispered, as Bella rambled on about clouds to Edward, who was grinning at her like she was the most endearing thing he'd ever seen. Those two were so sweet together, I immediately felt like brushing my teeth after hanging out with them.

"Yeah," I sighed happily. Jazz's fingers were tracing a warm pattern across my lower back, under my shirt. I loved the way his touch was sending tingles right up my spine.

"What happened today? At the hospital, I mean?"

"It doesn't matter," I murmured, and in that moment, it really didn't. All that mattered was that Jasper and I were together, in these stolen hours away from the real world. "Just forget about it. I already have."

"Okay, but…" I cut off his protest by pulling him in for a kiss. He responded with his usual intensity, shifting us both so that I was lying on top of him. He reached up and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, transferring his mouth to my neck. I tilted my head to give him better access as he peppered light kisses along my throat. "What was I saying?" he murmured against my skin.

"I don't care," I breathed, and he laughed softly. His mouth found its way back to mine, and my heart swelled in my chest.

"Guys!" Bella exclaimed. "Get a room!"

We broke apart, grinning at her. Jasper pushed himself into a sitting position, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as I slid into his lap. His hand toyed with the hem of my skirt, but didn't go any higher.

"You're just jealous," I teased.

"Pfft!" Edward scoffed. "She has nothing to be jealous of, right, Bella?"

She beamed at him. "Hardly. My boyfriend's even prettier than yours, Alice."

"Not likely," I whispered in Jasper's ear, and I felt him smile into my hair. To Edward, I said, "I hope you plan on getting her home okay."

He laughed. "Trust me, I'll make sure she gets back in one piece."

I gave another contented sigh and buried my face in Jasper's shoulder. The sun had almost completely sunk over the horizon, and I felt myself shiver with the sudden chill. He wrapped his arms around me securely, lending me some of his body heat. The faint scent of citrusy aftershave clung to his skin, and I sucked in a deep breath, trying to savor it.

A couple of hours later, Jasper walked me home. He was going back to crash at Emmett's, but seeing as Em was back, he'd be on the couch. I was tempted to invite him up to mine – truthfully, I couldn't bear to leave him – but he told me that he wanted to be there for Emmett on his first night out of Ostroff. I love him for that, as well as for a thousand other reasons.

Honestly, Diary, life seems too good to be true right now.

Love,

Alice.

A/N - Once again, I'm so so so sorry for the appallingly long wait. You guys who've been reminding me to update, thank you! You've really given me a boost (the guilt trips do work!) and if you've been sticking with this story, despite my incredibly long updates, I really do love you.

PJ

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