You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes well you just might find

You get what you need – Rolling Stones

Sookie POV

After I read the note, I probably picked up the phone to call Eric at least a dozen times before I actually called Fangtasia, as the note suggested I should if I was willing to talk to him. Apparently, he has something to tell me. If I would rather not, Pam would be paying me a visit later tomorrow night. I imagine this means that whatever he has to tell me is important. I have to admit that I am a bit nervous to find out what he has to tell me after what his last little delivery told me. This time it's is different though, so I am hoping the information is too. And he didn't actually give me the information in the note so we may be getting somewhere.

Of course, I had to wait until the sun went down, as there would be no point in calling the bar to speak with him with the sun still up. When I realized that, I already had the phone picked up and in my hand, hence the first hang up. So I busied myself making some chicken fried steak and biscuits for dinner.

As the steak was cooking, the sun had set and I had picked up the phone the second time. That was when I realized that I didn't actually have Eric's number. He hadn't put in the cell phone he gave me and I had never asked him for it so I would have to call him at the bar. Since the sun had set mere minutes earlier, I figured I'd have a better chance of actually talking to Eric if I gave him time to get to the bar. He probably hasn't had time to drive there from his house yet. So I hung up the phone for the second time and put the biscuits in the oven.

After dinner, I tried to call a few more times but things kept coming up. Things like, realizing I had to pay a bill, or needing to call Jason, or a hangnail that needed to be filed that I saw as I picked up the phone.

You know, very important things here.

It isn't that I don't want to talk to Eric, at least in theory. Quite the opposite is true actually. All I have wanted was to talk to Eric and figure out what was going on and that hasn't really changed. Now that I know what's going on, most of it at least as I feel there is more to this story, I still want to talk to him so we can figure out where to go from here, if there is anywhere to go from here.

And for us to figure that out, more talking has to happen. I am aware of that. I am just afraid that with talking, we will ruin whatever chances we still have. This whole communication thing hasn't really been working for us too well lately. But I look at the piece of paper that was delivered with the flowers, which have found a home in a vase on my dresser. Eric had tried with the note. He seems to have anyway as it is vastly different than the last note I got from him.

With that in mind, I finally lift up the phone with my freshly manicured hand, I just couldn't stop myself after filing my nail, and dial the number to Fangtasia before I can find another reason to hang up the phone. The phone rings several times before someone answers and says, "Fangtasia, the place to come for a bite."

The tagline more than the voice told me that I was talking to Ginger. "Hi Ginger. It's Sookie. Is Eric around?"

"Yes, the Master is in, but he wouldn't need a cookie. He can't eat it."

"Sookie, Ginger. It's Sookie."

"Ginger cookie? That sounds yummy."

"Just put Eric on the phone," I tell her. I have to tell Eric to stop glamouring her. And she probably shouldn't be the one answering the phones at this point either. Maybe he should keep her away from customers in general.

After a minute or so, he picks up the line, saying hello. If I didn't know any better, I would say he sounds out of breath.

"Hey Eric," I tell him as he picks up the phone. "I got your note." I am met with silence instead of a response from him. "Eric," I call again in question.

"I am here," he says.

I wait but he still doesn't say anything, which isn't really like him. "Thanks for the flowers," I say trying to start a conversation since I really am not sure what Eric wants to tell me.

"You do not sound angry."

"Why would I be angry?"

"The last time I sent Bobby to your house with a note, you were rather upset."

"It was what was on the note that made me upset. Something like that should not be discussed on a piece of paper," I tell him.

There is a hesitation before he tells me softly, "This is a conversation better to be had in person as well."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that with your note," I tell him. "I can come to you if you are busy."

"No," he says quickly and sharply. I have half a second to wonder what he is doing at Fangtasia that he doesn't want me to know about, before he says, "You should not be out alone after dark right now."

My mind goes back to Sam telling me about how Bill had been looking for me the night before. "Eric, what you have to tell me, it's not about Bill is it?"

"What did that little nitwit do now?"

I can't suppress the little giggle that escapes me at Eric's reference to Bill. He referred to him as such in the letter he sent as well, as he reminded me I could call if he made me feel uncomfortable. "He didn't do anything. Not really anyway."

"Did he do nothing, or nothing really?"

I sigh and take a deep breath. There is no point in trying to hide this from Eric. I can't even explain why I hesitated in telling him. I certainly don't want to protect Bill and this could potentially be important information. I tell Eric what I had learned from Sam. When I am done, Eric is quiet for a few seconds before asking, "When did Compton go to the bar."

"Last night," I tell him.

I am met with more silence before I hear shuffling on Eric's end. "Sookie, I am leaving now. Please stay indoors until I get there."

I hear the pleading in his voice. "I will, Eric," I say, trying to calm him down.

"I will be there in ten minutes," he says before hanging up. Yeah, goodbyes are something we have to work on too. Baby steps.

I'm not entirely sure why Eric got so upset at the news that Bill came into Merlotte's. I imagine it has something to do with what he needs to tell me and that thought does nothing to calm me. I look around my house and shiver as chill runs down my spine. I rush to the door and lock it before saying, "Bill Compton, I rescind your invitation," just in case.

Eric POV

I decide to fly to Sookie's house rather than drive. Flying will allow me time to email Andre since my phone conversation with him may not be happening tonight. It will also allow me to see more of the state than driving would. Though I do not think there will be much to see going on tonight, I will have to be careful in the next few nights when the out of state vampires come in to interview. And some of them will be staying. Not to mention how the ones who will not be granted leave to stay in the state will react.

And then there are the Weres already here. Both Flood and Tray have assured me they will warn me of those checking in, but I am concerned with the one who will not check in, and those that may not be wolves. Other groups are less organized with fewer laws. They will be in the state relatively unknown.

I purposely spend a few minutes flying over Compton's house. I am not happy that he is still going to Merlotte's even if Sookie is not working nights. I am even less happy that he went there specifically asking about her, concerned and needing to tell her something. The timing of his appearance after staying away from Merlotte's for a few nights is questionable. I am hoping it is nothing more than a coincidence that his reappearance matches up with the news of the unknown Supes in the state. Being out of the Queen's court and on the 'outs' with the Queen herself, he should have no knowledge of this situation yet. The other Sheriffs and myself are going to tell our Areas tomorrow night after we have decided on who we are allowing into the state. Only those higher up in the state's hierarchy should be aware at this point. And last I checked, that did not include Bill Compton

But he seemingly wanted to warn Sookie about something. If it is about this, I have to know what he knows and how he knows it. I know after speaking to the dog after the other night, there has been discussion about the incoming Weres in the Area. Compton seemed to be a little more informed than the average Were though, and he is not one that they usually talk to willingly. So the question remains, how does he seem to know so much? Is he back in the Queen's good graces?

Of course there is every opportunity that this is just a coincidence and Bill did have something else to talk to Sookie about. That scenario would have it's own set of consequences. Either way, he will have to be watched.

Once I am sure Compton is in his house, which I can see from the window, I finally make my way to Sookie's house. Compton is on the computer, no doubt working on that damn database. That thing is a ticking time bomb and I hate to think of the disastrous consequences should some Supe become aware of it's existence.

I land in Sookie's front yard and slowly make my way up her porch steps before gently knocking at her door. Though I am grateful she agreed to see me tonight, I wish it were under different circumstances. Much more fun circumstances. At this rate, I will be lucky if she invites me into her house with the way things are still so unsettled between us. I have no idea if my invitation has actually been rescinded but I still will not enter without an invitation. When she answers the door with a blanket around her shoulders, my hopes are dashed, as it appears she wants to have this conversation out on the porch with her blanket to keep her warm. She surprises me though by moving to the side of the doorway and asking me into her house.

However, as I move into the house, I see that a bracelet is now adorning her wrist in which I had left my marks. Those marks had been the bane of my existence when I thought I had forced their presence. Upon hearing that I had not forced them and additionally Sookie was the one who wanted them, I was left with a warm feeling I did not fully understand.

But seeing them covered up, that warm feeling is turning into a fiery inferno that feels like it's burning me from the inside out.

"I'm sorry it's a little chilly," she says before letting out a bit of a giggle. "Though I suppose you don't feel it too much," she adds on.

I swallow back the pain and look away from her wrist as I ask, "Is everything okay?" I am concerned why her house is cold.

"Yes. The furnace just wouldn't turn on tonight so the heat isn't working. Terry is coming over to look at it tomorrow." I gesture to the fireplace but before I can get out a question she says, "Jason has some logs for me but he hasn't had time to chop them into usable pieces yet."

I hold back my thoughts on how Stackhouse should make his sister a priority and instead ask, "Do you have an axe?"

She looks shocked at my question and tells me, "Oh, Eric. You don't need to. Besides, you said you have to tell me something."

"It can wait five minutes and I would not be able to concentrate knowing you are not comfortable, knowing you are cold." She looks at me for a few seconds before explaining the axe is in a garden shed out back and the logs should be back there as well.

As I told her, it did not even take me five minutes to chop up the logs into wood that would be a size she could use. I am almost upset when I am done. I could have used a little more time to work out some frustrations. Maybe a sparring match with Pam is in order.

I stack up most of the wood up against a side of the shed and take a good amount into my arms and head back up to the house. Upon entering, the living room is empty, but I can hear Sookie in the kitchen. I stack the wood in the fireplace using the kindling that is in a bucket. I hear Sookie come back into the living room as I strike a match from the box on the mantle. Once I am sure the fire will hold, I turn to find her sitting on the couch with what a cup of what smells like hot chocolate. On the table she has placed a bottle of blood and from the steam coming from it, she has warmed it for me as well.

I slowly sink down next to her on the couch and pick up the blood. She shuffles a bit to make sure there is room for me. I suppress the shudder that threatens to run through me at the thought that she cannot even stand to touch me accidentally at this point. I take a sip of the bottled blood and say, "Thanks." She offers me a nod in return.

"So you have something to tell me," she asks. I hesitate not quite sure the best place to begin but Sookie gives it to me as she continues, "Does it have anything to do with what Sam said, about Weres coming into the state?"

"It is a bit more complicated than that," I tell her.

"It usually is," she replies. Her voice at this could be filled with bitterness and anger, as everything has been more complicated than it should be for the last month or so. Hell, even I am feeling a little bitter at the hand we have been dealt in all of this. But her voice, her voice has optimism to it. I look into her eyes and I begin to tell her about what I know involving the Weres coming into the state. I also add the news that vampires will be coming soon as well, both most likely under the direction of one Peter Threadgill.

"This is a huge threat," she says after taking a few seconds to take everything in. I take a few minutes to explain a few more things to her to make sure she understands just how big of a threat this really is. "So most likely these are spies who will give information that will allow Threadgill to try and get whatever he wants from the state from the inside. Then, if he attacks, he already has troops on the inside waiting to cause chaos or to hurt us again from our own state."

I nod and tell her that is the basic summary of where we are right now. "Well, I won't be much help with the vampires," she starts. "But I will be happy to come down to the bar and see what I can get from the Weres, though you know I don't get too much from them either."

"While I am certainly grateful for your eagerness to help me and Area Five, I am not quite sure simply helping out at Fangtasia is what Sophie-Anne has in mind here," I tell her gently.

Telling her as gently as I possibly can does not keep the color in her cheeks as she pales at my words. "I'm not going to have much of a choice in this am I," she asks, her voice sounding weak.

"We have been here before, Sookie," I tell her. "I will do everything in my power to make sure you get as much of a choice as you can. I will make sure your are safe and treated fairly."

She's quiet before softly saying, "I've never really stood much of a chance since Sophie-Anne found Hadley, huh?"

"You have a much better deal than you could have, Sookie."

"Yeah," she scoffs. "Until Sophie-Anne decides she no longer wants to play nice and wants complete control of my life."

"I will not let that happen," I tell her.

"We have been here before, Eric. She's your Queen. You can't really stop her if she pushes."

"I will find a way, Sookie. I will. At the first sign she gives that this arrangement no longer works for her, I will make sure you maintain the freedom you have."

She looks at me long and hard. "You really mean that don't you. You really would fight her for my freedom if it came down to that."

I stay quiet, hoping my silence will be answer enough. While I am almost positive neither Sophie-Anne nor Threadgill is monitoring her house here, one can never be so sure. I cannot be heard making what could be considered a traitorous remark. I have been toeing the line with my comments as it is. Threadgill would be like a shark scenting the blood while Sophie-Anne could call for my head. It's bad enough that we are discussing Sookie's telepathy, but I am careful not to call it that. I am just hoping that my suspicions are correct and neither Threadgill nor Sophie-Anne has thought to bug her house.

When Sookie smiles slightly, I think that she understands that even without a verbal response, I will do what I need to make sure she is protected. "What will I have to do," she asks, smile disappearing off her face.

"Simply what you volunteered to do for me at Fangtasia," I tell her. "But across the state."

"It's a big state, Eric."

I nod. "You will most likely be asked to listen at Areas Two, Three, and Four at least once to try and see if we can pinpoint the spies. Perhaps even listen the humans belonging to vampires."

"New Orleans," she asks knowing that I left out Area One.

"Most likely, you will be requested to be there a few times as that is our capitol in the state."

She nods and I imagine she had already garnered that bit of information. She would probably had to have made several trips down to the New Orleans regardless of this new threat. "How long have you known about this," she asks suddenly. I think I also hear a little bit of accusation in her voice. I cannot say I blame her for it but I also cannot say it does not hurt to hear it.

"Last night," I tell her and I hope that I am not imagining the look of relief that passes over her face. "I had gotten the call about an hour or two after I had left you."

"So you didn't keep it from me?"

I shake my head, and turn a bit more towards her on the couch as I admit to her, "I was torn." Her face drops as I say this. "You need to know this information. I never once thought to keep it from you forever, but I wanted so much to give you the time you had just asked me for. I am sorry that you are not getting it," I tell her hanging my head.

I feel her gentle hand on my cheek as she lifts my head up until I am looking in her eyes again. "It's not your fault, Eric. You didn't do this."

I nod, though part of me doesn't believe her. "I was hoping to give you a couple of days and to tell you after I had interviewed the vampires looking to move into my Area."

"But instead you sent me a note letting me know you had something you needed to tell me and asking me to let you know if I would like to speak to you or Pam to hear what it was."

"I thought you would like to know as soon as possible. Even if you did not get the time and space you wanted."

"You were right, Eric," she tells me, a smile on her face. "I'd rather know these things, especially if I am involved. Especially if it puts you in danger," she adds softly. "Congratulations. You've communicated."

The smile I have on my face due to her words disappears as I see her pull her arm away, half a second before it registers that my hand is now empty. I did not even know something was in it. I look down and still see my fingers moving before they stop all together. I must have started playing with her fingers at some point during the discussion. It had become a habit of sorts of mine. "I am sorry," I say, looking away from her face.

"I don't want you to be," she tells me, which brings my eyes back up to her.

"It was obviously making you uncomfortable. You jerked away."

"Doesn't mean I want it to be," she repeats again. We stare at each other at her words. There are so many emotions running through her eyes and across her face. They are moving too fast to me to even try to discern what they all are and what they all might mean. And I know that my face may as well be a virtual mirror to hers right now.

"But it is," I say, barely whispering, turning away and standing up from the couch.

I feel her get up behind me and she gently takes my arm turning me back towards her. "And it's up to us to change that. If we want to."

I look into her eyes yet again. I see them start to fill with water and her blinking increases as if she is trying to keep them from falling. "We can change it," I ask, not even trying to mask the hope in my voice.

"Absolutely," she says, a small smile adorning her face.

And all of a sudden, I am overwhelmed by what I feel. I cannot even identify all the emotions running through me at the suggestion that all with Sookie is not lost. Her eyes are no longer threatening to spill tears, so I can only hope that means she is willing to change that too. Feeling weighed down by the emotions ripping through me, I change the subject telling Sookie, "I have asked Tray if he can spare some Weres throughout the day to keep their eyes on you and Bon Temps."

Letting out yawn, and sitting back down she responds, "If I have guards, won't that just bring more attention to me."

"Yes and no," I tell her. "My world views you as my property so if I feel the need to protect you, I can. Also, they will not be guarding you, exactly. They will be coming into Merlotte's for lunch. As Tray and Alcide are friends, they would be okay coming over for dinner, if you will have them. A few are new on the town work crew and I think the road will find itself having a couple of huge potholes near the end of your driveway. They will be around and alert but to an outsider they will not be seen guarding you."

She nods before trying, but failing, to suppress another yawn. "Bubba will be around at night too. He will be watching the town and reporting back to me anything of notice about the new residents."

"Okay," she says. She must be more tired than she even appears if she is not fighting me at all on this added protection. Or she truly realizes how dangerous the situation is.

I see her eyes start to close as she starts to drift to sleep. I get up and start to wish her goodnight but she says, "Can you stay? Just until I am asleep?"

I nod and see that my spot on the couch has been taken over by her feet as she has stretched out on the couch. "Do you want me to carry you upstairs?"

She shakes her head and lets out another yawn as she opens her eyes for a second before closing them. "No," she says through a yawn. "I was planning on sleeping down here. It's warmer with the fire burning."

Seeing her very close to sleep, I sit down on the floor in front of where her head is laying on the couch. I feel her fingers lightly moving in my hair and her sleep infused voice tells me, "I rescinded Bill's invitation."

I am filled again with feelings based on the knowledge that she did this on her own, without me even suggesting it, as I was thinking about how to broach the topic. I admit to being happy now that he no longer has free passage into her house. I am also happy that seems to think this is the right thing to do, that hopefully she knows she will be safer. She had a tendency to run to danger. I certainly hope that has changed as she has worked through some of her issues.

But I know she cared for Bill, and I am sorry that this probably causes her more pain. I tell her so, whispering, "I am sorry," in case she has fallen asleep as her hand has stopped moving and is simply resting in my hair.

"No you're not," she barely responds.

"I am not sorry this decision will probably be safer for you, but I am sorry you had to make it."

After a few seconds, I think she may now be asleep before I hear her mutter, "Thanks."

I start to hum, which is a habit I have had practically since I was turned. Sometimes, having a little noise in the background can be comforting. I push the thoughts of how I learned that out of my head.

It is only minutes before the steadiness of her breathing tells me Sookie is finally asleep. I hum for a few more minutes just to be certain knowing if it stops abruptly, she may wake up. After a few more minutes, I get up and go upstairs into her bedroom and bring her comforter down so she will have another layer if she gets cold. I lay it over her before turning my attention to the fire. I put more logs on trying to see that the fire will keep her warm the rest of the night. I then take her mug and my bottle into the kitchen and rinse them both out.

Now out of reasons to delay my leave, I walk back into the living room and take a last look at the sleeping figure on the couch. Though I long to give her a kiss goodbye and can do so without waking her, I know it is not my time to do so. I had lost that privilege but I will be doing everything I could to earn it back.

Sookie may not have gotten the space and time she wanted right now, but maybe keeping busy and staying in contact will be of more help right now than staying away completely.

I certainly hope so. I certainly and willing to try and make it so.

I make my way out of the house, locking the doorknob as I leave. Without a key I cannot further secure the house but I hope this will do tonight. I nod to the Bubba who is hiding behind the tree line, keeping his eye on her. With one last glimpse at the house, I take to the air and start to fly my way back to Fangtasia.

Hello readers and welcome to the next chapter of Love and Memories. Thanks for coming along for the ride and for those of you commenting on my driving along the way. I truly appreciate the input. I hope everyone has a fun, safe, and happy Halloween