Chapter Ten: I Just Want to See His Face
Two Years, Five Months Ago (Junior Year)
"Just get your shit out and leave." Ashley was fuming, her hands clenched by her sides and her eyes shooting daggers across the room. Josie leaned against the wall, arms folded across her chest. She obviously wasn't going anywhere.
"Ashley. Seriously, calm down." She said, her tone indifferent. Ashley's fists tightened at her waist and, if it was possible, her glare intensified.
"Fuck you, Josie." She couldn't even speak, couldn't even form the right words to show how disgusted she was. How disappointed and stupid she felt. "How could you even-"
"I needed it, Ashley. My mom needed to buy groceries." Ashley snorted, eyes turning toward the ceiling, shoulders slackening.
"Then why didn't you ask?"
Josie didn't answer and Ashley fists loosened, until her hands dangled uselessly at her sides.
"Whatever. Get out." She said, her heart stinging in her chest. Josie paused for a moment, another, considering her options. Finally, without a word or a noise, she pushed off the wall and left the room.
Later, in the middle of the night, Ashley realized that the other girl hadn't given back the two hundred dollars. By then, tears stained her pillow and burnt pictures had left a sour smell in the room. She buried her face back under the covers and sniffed. It was her first heartbreak, and it was a terrible way to experience it.
IOI
"Spencer, grab the cake!" Paula yelled, one foot out the door, her head tilted back, purse swinging abruptly. Spencer halted in the foyer, spun on her heel, and walked back into the kitchen. The cake sat on the counter in tinfoil. Lifting it, she moved back and almost ran into Glen, who slid into the room with hands on his collar.
"Spencer, where's my tie?" He yanked at the shirt collar sticking up near his ears. His eyes were accusing- as if she had stolen his tie.
"Glen, I have no idea." She brushed past him, cake balanced carefully in her hands. Glen huffed- in a manly way- and slid in the other direction. She hadn't made it to the door when Clay came thundering down the stairs, rolling at the sleeves of his shirt.
"Have you seen my phone?" He asked, easing around her.
"Nope." She slipped out the door before somebody else could ask her for something. She was setting the cake down in the trunk of the car when her phone buzzed from her pocket. Shutting the trunk with one hand, she answered with the other.
"Hello?" She moved back up the driveway.
"Hey." It was David. She could hear the smile in his voice and, though she wasn't quite sure why, it was contagious.
"Hey. What's up?"
"You coming to the fundraiser today?" She could hear cars in the background, and the low thrum of a radio. She nodded, leaning back on her mom's van.
"Yeah, my brother's on the basketball team, so I kinda have to."
"Do you need a ride?" He asked, smooth and confident as always. He was a bit too charming in that sense, but it was the sort of charming she was drawn to.
"Sure." She didn't hesitate. She needed to talk to him, anyway.
"Alright, I'll be there in ten."
"Kay. Bye." She clicked the phone shut and pushed it into her back pocket. She to talk to him because she had to let him down, and she had to let him down because she had a hopeless crush on her chorus tutor, and she had a hopeless crush on her chorus tutor because she totally gay.
She was basically just going to tell him the last part.
"Spencer, get in the car!" Paula yelled from the porch, her heels clicking down the steps, a casserole balanced on her hands.
"I'm getting a ride from somebody else." She called back, moving away from the van and out of Paula's path toward it. The older woman bent down to put the food in the passenger seat and by the time she had straightened up, Spencer was walking up the steps.
"Spencer Carlin!" But the blonde was already through the door. Paula placed her hands on her waist. She was half-glaring, half-confused. A low-slung Mustang pulled up to the curb and Paula turned toward it, hands still on her waist. David slipped out, all dark hair and glittering eyes, and Paula was glued to the cement. He smiled disarmingly.
"Mrs. Carlin?"
"Yes." She was honestly flustered. He walked toward her and offered his hand.
"I'm David Rogers. I'm here to pick up Spencer." He was shockingly confident for a high school student, and Paula placed a hand over her heart without noticing it.
"Well, she's inside." He smiled again and moved around her.
She wouldn't lie- her eyes were glued to him as he swaggered inside.
IOI
Ashley tilted her chair back onto two legs and crossed her cowboy boots on the table. The hot California sun was blinding against the new, grey cement, but she was shielded beneath her white tent. She tugged her sunglasses down over her eyes and let her chair back a few more inches, until she was braced against a silver pole. She shut her eyes.
A few seconds later, someone grasped the back of her chair and yanked her back.
"Holy sh-" She cut off the word before it could escape her lips. She was being held halfway to the ground, her feet now swinging a few feet from the floor.
"Sleeping on the job, Davies." Josie's voice reached her ears, and the other girl tilted Ashley back into an upright position.
"God, don't do that, Josie." Ashley said, standing up once she was safely on the ground. Josie just chuckled and dropped down into a plastic chair a couple feet away.
"What are you even doing?" Josie asked, glancing around the bare tent.
"Waiting for Ms. James." Ashley responded, taking a spot on the plastic table. She was too familiar with Josie's jokes to take offense anymore. She crossed her ankles and swung them beneath the table.
"Are you two fucking yet or what?" Josie asked. Ashley didn't dignify the question with an answer. She found herself wondering why she had let Josie hang around again. "Just kidding." Josie sing-songed. "I'm gonna get a soda, want one?" Ashley just shook her head no, feet still swinging, eyes off on the students milling around the parking lot.
Josie disappeared back into the crowd and Ashley pushed her sunglasses into her hair. Apparently the basketball fundraiser was a big deal, because at least half the student body was there. All the teachers were required to attend and Ashley had dragged Josie along, because Kyla refused to be in the house alone with her. It was hot and boring, and also lame. Plus, Josie was being a jerk. But then again, she always had been, even when she really shouldn't have been.
"What are you doing here?" Ashley set her cup back down on the counter, afraid it would slip from her fingers now that her brain was completely occupied. Josie shrugged, that familiar smirk crawling onto her face.
"If I told you I was just in the neighborhood, would you believe me?" She asked, dropping her bag to the ground and hopping up onto the kitchen counter. She'd done it a million times before and the action was so effortless that Ashley was swept back a couple years, into a new relationship and a fresh outlook. Into the way Josie glided in and out of her emotions. It was a sentimental sweetness that didn't last long.
"Josie…" Ashley said, trying out a name that hadn't passed her lips in months. Josie smirked again, teasing her.
"Ashley…" She said, her feet swinging restlessly against the counter, dinging small dark marks into the white wall.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Her tone wasn't bitter or even accusatory, it was neutral. She was neutral. Too much time had passed for the grudge to linger. Josie shrugged, passed off the question, ignored it with a flip of her shoulders.
"How are you doing, Ash? How's that boy of yours?" Ashley, leaning back against counter, folded her arms.
"Josie." Ashley warned. This time, Josie tossed her head back and laughed.
"Ashley. Quit acting like you've just seen a ghost. I am what I yam." She chuckled, her dark eyes twinkling, her teeth glinting. "You gonna welcome me back or what?"
Ashley feet had stopped swinging sometime during her rush of thoughts, and as she moved them back into motion she caught sight of a familiar blonde head, sunglasses pushed on top. She smiled.
IOI
"You're gay?" His tone was completely indecipherable. He seemed surprised, disappointed maybe, curious, and just a little bit put off.
"Yeah." Spencer said. She was sitting awkwardly in the passenger seat, her hands folded across her lap, one eye cast toward him. Her head was high and her hopes were low. David had one hand on the steering wheel. The other made a tight fist, pressing down into his thigh. They were parked in the school parking lot, shadows dashed across their faces by the low Mustang roof.
"Well." His fingers released, splayed out against his jeans. "Good for you, I guess?" He chuckled awkwardly, his head finally turning toward hers. She met his eyes, the beginning of a smile in her own. "I feel kind of stupid now." He sighed through his teeth, fingers pressing into thick material again, eyes shot out the window.
"Don't. It's not your fault. It's just…you know." She still couldn't put it into words. She just wasn't what he had been expecting, and she certainly couldn't apologize for that.
"Huh." His gaze focused out the window for a moment. "Friends, then?" He asked, turning his body toward her and offering a hand. She smiled, really smiled, and shook his hand.
"Of course."
"Cool. Then, let's get to this thing." He was out the door a moment later, pulling hers open, and she was so relieved she was dizzy. She felt like she could breathe, like maybe this wasn't real. But as she stepped into hot California sun- she still wasn't used to the heat of it- she smiled at him, pushed her sunglasses onto her head, and just let it go. They crossed the parking lot, David commenting on the turnout, Spencer joking about some guy's pants, a renewed ease stretching between them.
Then she saw her. It was annoying how gorgeous the girl was. Like, really?
Unconsciously, she started walking that way. Ashley sat on a white table beneath a white tent, her dark hair dulled in the shade. Spencer could only see half of her face, but it was unfamiliar. It was the other side she hadn't been facing for two hours the night before.
They finally made it to the tent, Spencer absentmindedly laughing at one of David's jokes. She leaned in close, too damn close, and grinned beside Ashley's ear.
"Hey." She said, the laugh still in her voice. Ashley turned, almost unsurprised- as if she had been expecting the girl, but not the breath in her ear- and grinned, though she was pulling away.
"Hi." She answered, her eyes flickering to David. There was a flash of recognition and she aimed her smile in his direction, the edge sliding off it. "Hey, David." He held up a hand, the other shoved in his pocket.
"I'm gonna get a drink, do you want anything?" He shot the question at both girls, who shook their head in unison. "Be right back." He said, and left them alone. Spencer thought he was taking this gay thing a little too far.
"So, how are you?" The words were stilted. Spencer could still feel David beside her, as though he was the elephant in the room.
"I'm good. You?" The blonde asked. Ashley nodded, her gaze somewhere else, none of the familiarity of the night before evident in her body language. She looked out of her element. It was all so awkward. Spencer crossed her arms, suddenly shoved back into teacher-student boundaries.
"I'm fine." Ashley said. She hoped Josie wouldn't come back any time soon and peg her and Spencer as fuck buddies or something. It seemed like something Josie would try to do- turn innocent tension into a flag for something else. Spencer sighed and moved a little closer, the table still between them. Her head dipped beneath the shadow.
"So, did your-"
"Ashley!" Ms. James finally appeared, lugging a massive box on a wagon behind her and mindlessly interrupting Spencer. "Help me with this." With one last look at Spencer- who was watching Ms. James, Ashley moved to the older woman's side. Almost effortlessly, she hefted the box onto the white table. Ms. James cut open the duct tape and started lifting gift bags out. She set them in rows on the table, moving quickly, as if in a rush. All of three of them glanced up, startled, when a tall, brown-haired girl walked into the tent.
"You must be Ms. James." The girl bypassed Ashley completely and held her hand out for the woman. "I'm Josie, Ashley's friend." She shot Ashley an unreadable look as Ms. James shook her hand. Then, her gaze turned to Spencer. Her posture completely changed- so suddenly, Spencer almost missed it. "Hey. Who are you?" She was suddenly demure, enticing.
"I'm Spencer." The blonde said, smiling sweetly and shaking Josie's offered hand. There was something about the girl…
"It's great to meet you." Josie didn't let go of her hand for a few long seconds, her head titling forward. Spencer saw Ashley subtly nudge the girl, who instantly released Spencer's hand.
"Spencer. Do you mind helping Ashley for a little while?" Ms. James, who had returned to lining up gift bags, asked the young girl as if she couldn't possibly say no.
"Uh- I mean, sure- why not." Spencer said. Ms. James grinned brightly.
"Great. Josie, you're welcome to stay-"
"Oh, I will." Josie breathed, her eyes all over Spencer.
"-and Ashley, keep 'em organized." Ashley looked a little helpless as Ms. James grinned and walked off, calling over her shoulder. "I'll be back in an hour or so!"
Spencer was still on the other side of the table, hands placed on the edge, thumbs tucked beneath the top. Ashley had been moved off the side, and Josie had slid up to the spot right across from Spencer. She smiled nicely at the blonde girl and Ashley felt put out, suddenly, ad Josie started talking. As if to throw her completely out of the picture, David walked up beside Spencer with a cup of lemonade. He smiled unknowingly at Josie, who had stopped talking.
Ashley sighed under her breath, stupidly and uselessly, and turned around to lift another box.
Spencer shifted her gaze from Josie and David, and watched Ashley pick up another box. Her brain whirred, trying to come up with an excuse to get over to the girl. Josie placed a hand on her arm. David offered her his lemonade. She dragged her eyes away from Ashley
Great.
It was going to be an awesome afternoon.