Luke handed Rey a cup of tea, making sure that she was holding the cup in both hands before he let go. She had not reacted well to what had happened in the hospital. None of them did, but it affected her the most.
She blamed herself for what happened.
Sigrid had been kind to them, escorting them to the Falcon without commenting on Elliot's death. Kira was still alive, but Luke knew that the child wasn't really there. Her essence had returned to the Force, all that was left was an empty shell.
The group had to pass by the Elder's Pavilion in order to exit the town. Luke had locked eyes with her and he knew she had felt it.
The power from the Dark Side that Kira had used just before she destroyed herself.
Luke shuddered as he remembered how it felt. It was odd to have felt it from such a young child. The last time he felt that great an influence of the Dark Side, it had emanated from the Supreme Leader. He had also felt it in his nephew, but to a lesser degree.
He wondered if the recent surge that Kira had released would remind Ben of how seductive the Dark Side was. Luke also wondered if he needed to watch his nephew for signs of falling to the Dark Side, and for real this time.
Luke shifted in his seat in the booth of the Falcon's Main Hold. Han and Chewie were already prepping them for take-off. Leia had gone in search of a blanket to wrap Rey in. Ben was leaning against the opposite wall, just looking at Rey.
The young woman had withdrawn from them. Luke could feel through the Force the turmoil that was going through her. The despair brought about by failure was colouring her Force Signature.
Ben shot him a worried look, which Luke returned. The war and Snoke had not been enough to swat Rey to the Dark Side. But the death of a child? A death that she seemingly caused? Luke shook his head.
Maybe he needed to look out for signs of both Rey and Ben going over to the Dark Side. Either way, Luke had his work cut out for him, on top of rebuilding the school at that.
"I'll be…" Ben said, pushing off against the wall. "Elsewhere."
He walked out of the Main Hold. Luke understood why he wanted to leave. Rey's aura was toxic. She was trying to release it all into the Force, he could feel it, but she wasn't improving. She was probably generating more negative energy from within.
"Rey," he said, trying to get her attention.
She didn't respond. Her eyes weren't even focused. Luke feared that she lost herself in her thoughts.
"Rey," he tried again, shaking her shoulder.
Rey turned her head towards him, her face still devoid of emotion.
"Master?" she asked, her voice sounding as if in a trance.
"It wasn't your fault Rey," Luke said worriedly. "Kira had no control."
"Of course Master," Rey replied. Luke could tell that she wasn't really listening.
"Kira had too much power," Luke tried to explain. "And too much attachment to her brother. She could not bear the thought of losing him, hence she was seduced by the Dark Side. It wasn't your fault Rey."
Rey's eyes remained glazed over. Luke knew that she had heard him, but she was ignoring his words. He let out a frustrated breath.
"At least drink your tea?" Luke suggested.
He watched as Rey put the cup to her lips, but didn't drink. He had felt hopeless before, like when he was clinging on for dear life after Vader had cut off his arm. He hadn't known what to do then and he didn't know what to do now.
If it were anyone else, Luke would try to peek into that person's mind and try to snap them out of it from within. But Rey was a powerful Force-user, especially when it came to the mental aspects of the Force. If Luke went in there, it was more likely that he would be pulled into the mess rather than be able to pull her out.
Luke felt the Falcon take off. He watched as Rey tea spilled over from the side. As someone who came from a desert planet, Luke knew that if Rey was fine, she wouldn't let even a single drop go to waste. He shook his head.
Leia walked into the Main Hold carrying a blanket. She took in Luke's defeated appearance and sighed.
"No improvement?" she asked, walking over and draping the blanket across Rey's shoulders.
"None," Luke answered.
"Rey?" Leia asked, rubbing the younger woman's back.
She elicited no response. Leia wasn't one to give up that quickly though.
"Rey?" Leia asked again.
This time Luke felt that she was speaking both through her mouth and the Force. While Leia had not been trained in the way of the Jedi, she had her abilities for as long as Luke had. It didn't surprise him that she could use it as she did. He knew that she used it during council meetings at times. For the greater good of course.
"General?" Rey asked, her voice groggy as if she had just awoken. In a sense she just did.
"Oh good," Leia sighed in relief. "It worked."
"Ma'am?" Rey blinked in confusion. "What worked?"
"Nothing for you to worry about," Leia brushed it off. "How are you feeling?"
Rey paused before she answered. Luke was afraid that if she paused long enough, she would go back into herself. But she didn't.
"It's strange," Rey said slowly. "Her mind, Kira's, I felt it and it felt wrong."
The twins refrained from saying anything, knowing how cathartic it would be for her to talk about it. Luke and Leia did exchanged concerned looks, not that Rey noticed.
"It was… greasy," Rey continued. "Like oil left outside for too long. Kira's mind was so full of darkness and despair. It… wasn't a nice experience."
Rey shivered at the memory of that place. As proficient as Rey was with the Force, Luke sometimes forgot that she was still quite new to it.
"I think," Rey said gradually. "I'm better now."
Luke nodded as he gave her a pat on the shoulder. Rey shot him a wobbly smile before she took a sip of her tea. Leia smiled at them both.
"I'll be in the cockpit," Leia announced before she left.
They watched her leave. For a moment the two sat there in companionable silence, the only noise was when Rey sipped at her tea.
Luke's stomach lurched as he felt the Falcon go into hyperdrive. He smiled. The sooner they got away from Ryukk the better it was for Rey.
"Master Luke?" Rey asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yes?" he replied.
"Are all minds clouded in the Dark Side like that?" she fiddled with her cup.
Luke regarded her, thinking on how he should explain things. His own Masters had been quite vague about some things regarding the Force. Then again, he only had Masters for a short time and that was during the war. Force Ghosts weren't quite as good as teaching the ways of the Force as a living, breathing being.
"It's different from person to person," Luke said, deciding on an explanation. "You know how each person's Force Signature feels differently, right?"
Rey nodded.
"What we feel is the Light Side of the Force," Luke explained. "The Force flows through each of us, and since we're all different, the way it flows and manifests in us is different as well."
"And the Dark Side?" Rey prodded.
"Light or Dark," he replied. "They are still one in the Force."
"I see," Rey nodded her head. "Thank you for the explanation Master. Excuse me, I think I need to go lie down."
Luke watched as she left the Main Hold, his brow furrowed in concern. He would have taken on Kira instead of her, if he could have. But the child had had been drawn to the one in the room who was strongest in the mental aspects of the Force.
He sighed. He felt like he wasn't turning out to be a very good Master.
Ben entered the cockpit and strapped himself to the chair behind Chewie. He knew better than to talk to either of the pilots while they were about to take off, so he stayed silent.
He watched as his father flipped the switches on the Falcon's dash, comforted by how familiar a scene it was to him. He could remember times when he would sit in his father's lap as a child and pretend to steer the ship. His mother didn't think that it was safe, but she let it happen anyway. Those were good memories.
As soon as the Falcon was in space, Han turned his head and gave Ben a half smile.
"You okay Ben?" he asked. "That was quite an experience."
"I'm fine," Ben replied. "The initial shock had worn off. There doesn't seem to be any lasting damage."
Chewie let off a moan, telling Ben that he was glad Ben was alright.
"Thank you Chewie," Ben said.
While Luke was Ben's uncle by blood, Chewie was the one who was around when Ben was young. While they still haven't reconciled after Han's faked death, the Wookiee was now much more civil than he had been.
"How's Rey?" Han asked, turning his attention back to steering.
"Not good," Ben replied, shaking his head even though he knew his father couldn't see him. "At least not when I left the room."
"That bad huh?" Han let out a breath. "Thirty years and all this Force mumbo jumbo can still surprise me."
"You can study the Force your whole life and still not be able to understand but a fraction of it," Ben pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah," Han waved his hand in dismissal, clearly he had heard that explanation before. "Can we do anything to help her?"
"Not as such," Ben replied. "Going into her mind could mean certain death to anyone. Oh!"
Ben sat up as he felt the Force shift. He turned his head in the direction of the Main Hold. Something had happened to get Rey out from her thoughts.
"Oh?" Han repeated. "What 'oh'?"
"Rey snapped out of it," Ben informed him. "Uncle or Mother must have done something."
"I thought you said going in would mean certain death?" Han asked, alarmed at the thought that Luke or Leia would do something so risky.
"It would have," Ben agreed. "Maybe they found another way."
Han grumbled to himself. Ben caught words like 'stubborn' and 'risk-taker'. He snorted. His Father was one to talk. Han Solo was one of the most daring people in the galaxy, and that wasn't always a good thing.
"Hold on," Han warned, putting the Falcon into hyperdrive.
Ben braced himself. He hated the initial pull of hyperdrive. It always made him feel like he had left something important and only remembered it when he was already somewhere else.
As the Falcon settled into hyperdrive, Leia walked into the cockpit.
"Could've used some warning," she said as she took the seat behind Han. "I was in the hallway when you started the jump."
"Sorry," Han apologised. "I thought you'd be in the Hold with Luke and Rey."
"I was," Leia replied. "But after I got Rey out of her head, I came here."
"You were the one who did that?" Ben asked, whipping his head towards his mother so fast that it was a miracle that he didn't get whiplash. "Mother that was dangerous!"
"I know," Leia shrugged.
Han stayed quiet, which was uncharacteristic of him. Ben speculated that his parents had probably had a fight recently and his father was just picking which arguments to make. Ben scowled.
"Mother," Ben said, his voice filled with worry. "You could have been trapped in there!"
"It was my risk to take," Leia said, brushing off his argument. "I knew neither you nor Luke would do it, so I did. I couldn't leave Rey like that."
"You could've ended up like that!" Ben argued. "You should have at least told me or Uncle what you were going to do."
"But I didn't," Leia pointed out, taking a page from Han. "I wasn't about to tell you that I was going to do something that neither of you approved of."
"I," Ben stammered, at a loss for words. "Father!"
"Don't look at me son," Han replied. "She did it, nothing bad happened, end of story."
Ben stared incredulously at his parents, wondering how in the Force he ever made it out of childhood alive with those two as his parents. A glance at the seat in front of him reminded him how. Thank the Force for Chewbacca's presence in his life.
"So how's Rey?" Han asked.
"Conscious, coherent," Leia said. "She's still a bit shaken from what happened."
Han hummed in response. The conversation changed topic soon after. Ben had learned from an early age how to filter out what wasn't important. The rest of the flight back to D'Qar was uneventful, for which they were all thankful for.
When they landed on D'Qar, quite a few people were there to greet them. Ben knew that they were all curious as to why the three Jedi had suddenly left the planet. He wondered what the gossip about their departure was saying.
"General," Admiral Statura greeted as soon as Leia stepped off the Falcon. "How did the mission go?"
Leia paused and regarded the small crowd that had gathered. Ben saw her adopt what he called her 'politician' face or as his father called it, her 'Princess' face.
"I know all of you are probably wondering why the Jedi departed D'Qar in a hurry," she paused, letting the crowd murmur their agreement. "We left to address a disturbance in the Force. Jedi Master Luke felt the disturbance and alerted me of the immediacy of the situation."
Ben watched as the crowd digested the information. His mother was a compelling speaker, even without using the Force. More people arrived to listen.
"When we reached our destination," Leia continued. "We were faced with a being strong in the Dark Side of the Force. The Jedi neutralised the threat. We are indebted to them once more."
Ben watched his mother as the crowd cheered. She really was quite the politician. She knew just how to phrase things in such a way that made their failure seem like a success. He subtly shook his head.
He made his way to his room, pausing to accept shy congratulations from members of the Resistance. Ben wondered why they were trying to be nice. It might have been because he had just returned from 'subduing a being of the Dark Side'. Or maybe Poe had said a few good words about him here and there.
Or, Ben looked down and frowned, it might be because he wasn't wearing his customary black clothes. His mother always said that clothes make the man. The members of the Resistance might believe in that same philosophy.
Ben smiled when he entered and found the basket of goodies that Admiral Ackbar kept sending him. The man had let Ben ride on his shoulders as a child, and he also snuck Ben treats whenever Leia or Han forbade them. Ben was glad that the Admiral had been quick to forgive him for his role as a spy.
The rest of his night was uneventful, especially since he chose to take dinner in solitude. His sleep was a bit troubled. The little girl and her yellow eyes haunted him.
Ben was startled awake at an early hour and he chose not to try to find sleep again. He spent the rest of the time before dawn meditating.
His morning was also uneventful. His kata practice had no unexpected pilots dropping by to drag him to lunch. He stopped by his room and freshened up before he made his way to the Mess for lunch.
In the Mess he spotted Poe and Finn. Rether, they spotted him and Poe stood and waved him over to their table to sit with them. Ben shot them an awkward look.
They were seated near the middle of the room, not like the last time he ate with them. That made him a little bit uneasy. Rey was also conspicuously missing from the table. Ben set his tray down and sat across the two.
"Hey Ben," Poe said, elbowing Finn in the side to get the other man to greet Ben.
"Yeah, hey," Finn mumbled.
"Hello," Ben replied. "Where's Rey?"
The two exchanged worried looks, alarming Ben. He knew that the three were close. He wondered if she was coping well with what happened on Ryukk.
"She's in her room," Poe said. "She wasn't hungry."
"She wasn't?" Ben scrunched his forehead.
"Did something happen?" Finn asked, surprising Ben because he thought the former-trooper wouldn't willingly talk to him. "On your mission?"
Ben hesitated. He wasn't sure how much they knew about the Force and he didn't want to talk about it in the Mess of all places. He didn't want people overhearing anything that could lead to panic or distrust of the Jedi.
"You don't have to tell us," Poe said. "The look on your face tells me that it wasn't as easy as the General said it was."
"It wasn't," Ben agreed.
"Something happened to Rey?" Finn prodded. He didn't need to know the details, he just wanted to know if Rey was alright.
"You could say that," Ben nodded. "She was the one who had to deal with it."
"It fell to her again, huh?" Finn shook his head in disbelief. "Why does it always have to be her?"
Ben didn't reply. He had no explanation why things happened to Rey. Finn didn't seem to want a reply either.
They continued eating in silence. Ben was worried that it would be awkward, but it wasn't. They were bound by their common worry for Rey. Still, Ben didn't want to overstay his welcome, so he left as soon as he was done. He might have eaten at a faster speed than he usually would just to leave the table all that sooner.
As he walked back to his room his thoughts strayed to Rey once more. His mother and uncle might have talked to her, but he knew that there were some things that couldn't be helped by talking. He stopped by his room to grab his practice sword.
Maybe a spar would clear her mind where meditation wouldn't.
As soon as the Falcon landed, Rey dreaded leaving the Quarters and having to face her friends. Poe and Finn would immediately know that something was wrong with her. Normally, Rey would have meditated and released her worries into the Force, but she was much too afraid to do that at the moment.
She had almost been trapped in her own mind. If it wasn't for General Organa, she would still be there. She didn't want to risk it.
Rey took a steeling breath and made her way to the exit ramp. She got there just in time to hear the General's speech about how they had stopped the threat. She felt like she was going to sick up.
The crowd cheered. They were impressed by the news that the Jedi had once again prevailed over the Dark Side. Rey wondered how impressed they would be if they knew that the threat had been a little girl who was grieving for her brother.
She walked through the crowd and saw that they gave her admiring looks. Rey couldn't help but think on how quickly their admiration would turn to disgust if they ever found out that she had caused the death of children.
"Rey!" A voice called out.
She stopped and turned on her heel. Finn and Poe were headed towards her with big smiles on their faces. She gave them what could only be called a grimace in return.
"You okay?" Finn asked as soon as he reached her.
"I'm fine," Rey said.
She really was. Or she would be. She didn't really want to talk about it, not to them. They wouldn't be able to understand.
"Really?" Poe asked, raising an eyebrow. "You don't look alright."
"I'm fine," Rey reiterated, putting an edge to her voice. "I'm just tired."
"That's understandable," Finn said. "You should rest."
"Thanks," Rey said, giving them a grateful look.
She walked away without another word. Or she would have if they hadn't fallen into step beside her.
"I need to be alone," she told them. "Please."
She saw the couple shoot each other concerned looks. She was fully prepared to defend herself from any argument they would make, but they just nodded.
"We'll see you at dinner then," Poe said, giving her a pat on the back before he headed back to the hangar.
"Rest well, yeah?" Finn said, giving her a short hug before he followed after Poe.
Rey headed towards her room. People kept stopping her to congratulate her for a successful mission. She just gave them awkward thanks and carried on her way, citing fatigue and the need to rest.
When she got to her room, she flopped down on her bed. She hadn't even realised how exhausted she truly was, mentally and physically. She promised herself that she would just take a short nap as she fell into a deep sleep.
Her dreams were troublesome. They were more of nightmares really, but not ones she could escape from. She woke up the next day with no memory of her nightmares and feeling not the least bit rested.
Rey scowled as she consulted the clock. It was almost past noon. She had slept the night all through the whole morning. Giving off a frustrated growl, she made her way to the 'fresher to get some of the grime off of her.
When she was done, she felt a little bit more human, but she still felt tired. Her stomach growled in hunger, but she didn't feel like going to the Mess or facing other people. The scavenger in her had secreted away some rations, and she ate one of those instead.
Rey was planning to spend her afternoon in solitude, when a knock sounded on her door. She figured it was either Finn or Poe.
"Come in," she called out.
She was surprised when the door slid open to reveal Ben who was carrying a practice sword. Rey just raised an eyebrow.
"May I help you?" she asked, not quite sure why the man was there.
"Grab your practice sword," Ben told her.
"No thank you," she politely declined. "I don't have the slightest inclination to leave my room at this moment."
"That's how it starts," Ben said, making Rey wonder what he was talking about. "First you don't want to leave your room for a day, then before you know it, it would have been a week. The Dark Side is not the only dangerous place one can fall to."
"What?" Rey asked, not following the turn that the conversation had taken.
"Never mind," Ben quickly said. "My point is that we're going to go spar."
"No," Rey declined. "What good would that do?"
"Trust me," Ben gave her a charming smile. "I'll even let you hit me a couple of times."
Rey's eyes narrowed at his insinuation that he could best her in a spar. The last time they had fought, she had clearly been the victor.
"Let me hit you?" she asked, her annoyance rising. "If I recall I defeated you the last time."
"I was undercover," he shrugged. "Defeating you wouldn't have helped my mission, not when we were so close to bringing Snoke down."
"Are you saying you took it easy on me?" Rey asked incredulously.
"Maybe," Ben shrugged. "Or maybe you could convince me that you really did defeat me?"
He nodded to her practice sword which was leaning against the wall. Rey's eyes narrowed. She knew he was trying to rile her up on purpose. And damn him, it was working.
"Fine," she said, grabbing the sword before she stormed past him to exit her room.
She heard him chuckle, but she did not give him the satisfaction of a response. He'll get what's coming to him when they start sparring. Rey found that she had a lot of energy all of a sudden.
I'm so sorry this took me a while. But here have a long-ish chapter as my apology. ^.^
I'm currently deciding on whether or not I should do the Reylo Big Bang, I want to, but it would affect the progression of this fic. So if I do decide to join it, I'll just tell you all in a future update yes?
Tell me how you found this chapter?