Chapter 9: Awakening

You guys must hate me I haven't updated in almost two years. Main reason was just me being lazy. Second reason was I lost the 4 chapters I had in advance for this story when my old laptop got messed up. So here's chapter 9 for whoever's still interested in my story :) And if you guys could find it in your hearts to forgive me that would really brighten up my day :)

When Richard entered Raven's room he saw Alfred finishing up his tests on Raven. "She is now conscious she is still tired. She will be waking up within the hour." Alfred said this without looking up from his chart.

"Thanks Alfred," said Richard softly.

Alfred looked up from the chart and looked at Richard with worrisome eyes making Richard look away. "I know you won't listen to me Master Grayson but what ever it is that is troubling you can be solved later you need some rest"

"I'm fine quit worrying about me Alfred," he threw Alfred an unconvincing smile that was no where near fooling Alfred who had known Richard's various methods of deflection since he was a child.

Alfred chose to let him win this one, "Well if you say you're fine I'll take your word, I'll be on my way unless I'm needed."

"It's fine Alfred I think you should be the one resting you've helped greatly with Raven…Thank you."

He smiled, "It is my pleasure Master Grayson." Alfred left the room and Richard slumped down on the chair placed next to Raven as silence consumed the room.

All that pain. Richard was not able to understand how he was the one responsible for hurting Raven like that. Hurting her to the point of giving her nightmares, nightmares that more than likely plagued her sleep more than once a week judging by the bags under her eyes. He contemplated this as he sat in silence able to hear the beeping of the monitor that told him Raven was alive and her soft breathing to further confirm she was going to be okay. He welcomed the quiet and let the beeping and her breathing sooth him as he delved in his thoughts. He so desperately wanted to know how he had hurt Raven. He would have kept on trying to solve this mystery had he not heard sheets rustling and seen Raven opening her eyes. Her eyes looked all over the room in confusion and then they landed on him. He stared back at her.

"Rae…Raven," he whispered in fear of scaring her away.

Her eyes looked away as if stung but what she had seen in his eyes, "Where am I?"

"In the batcave's infirmary. I was worr-," he was cut off.

"I remember now," she sat up abrubtly and removed that sheets from her body and attempted to get up.

"you're still not fully healed Raven," he got up from his chair ready to stop Raven from anything that could hurt her.

"I'm fine" she swayed and Richard moved quickly to her side offering his hand for support she swatted it away, "said m'fine."

"Raven you almost-"

"I said I'm fine," she said in a firmer tone. She took a clumsy step and then another

"Raven please let me help you," he pleaded as he walked up to her. She ignored him and took another weak step giving her back to him. "Fine if you don't want my help at least take Alfred's or Tim's"

"I said I'm-" she swooned and Richard caught her before she fell.

"Fine? Me and you have different definitions of fine," he snarled in frustration.

"Let me go!" she struggled in her weakened state trying to shove the hand that had wrapped around her waist. He ignored her shoves and pulled out his communicator from his pocket calling Tim.

"Hey Tim can you come down here Raven's awake and she's being stubborn." There was no response from Tim just a quick click after the word "awake" was mentioned and Tim was with them in record time. "Thanks Tim, do you think you can help her to her room?"

"Sure man," Tim turned to Raven and she gave up silently as she accepted Tim's hand as Richard unwrapped his hand from her waist and let her walk towards Tim. Tim wrapped his own hand around Raven giving her a gentle squeeze in hopes of giving her some comfort. "Hey Raven" he smiled as he looked down at her. "Sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. Busy with making sure that Slade is gone for sure."

Richard watched as they walked away together. He would let Raven rest for now and talk to her when she was well rested.

"Would have preferred it to have been you and not him"

"You know he was there everyday, never once left your side," she ignored what he said and just continued being led to her room in silence.

When they were close to approaching her room she asked, "How long was I out?"

"Five long days" he responded with sadness.

"I'll be fine Tim. No need to worry. Nothing that can't be fixed with meditation," she tried cheering him up.

"You almost d-"

"But I didn't." They were in front of her door. She turned to look at him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder to make him look at her. "I didn't okay. Everything's going to be fine"

He sighed deeply "Just don't scare us like that again. Hopefully when Star hears about this she won't kill you. It would be ironic huh?" he smiled at the last part.

"Star doesn't need to know this. Tim, promise me you won't tell Star," she gripped his shoulder.

He laughed a little, "I swear that woman acts like your mother and you're older than her. I don't need to tell her she has her ways of finding out"

"I'm screwed aren't I?" She removed her hand from his shoulder and ran her hand through her face and threw Tim a weak smile.

"Yup," he laughed and she joined him in his contagious laughter making her forget for just a little.

When Richard made it to his room he stripped down to his boxers and laid down on his bed. He kept replaying the conversation he had with Tim over and over in his head in hopes of drawing connections, anything that would lead him to answer how and when he had inflicted all that hurt on Raven.

"I-I did that to her … I was gone for four years, w-what could I have done to do that to her?" he asked in anguish.

"Exactly"

"Exactly? What is that supposed to mean? You don't actually believe I would hurt Raven intentionally"

"No, not intentionally"

"What do you mean not intentionally? What could I have possibly done to hurt her if I wasn't even there?"

"I'm sorry but I can't tell you anything else, figure it out for yourself"

He couldn't find anything he was gone for four years, the time he spent with the Titans Raven and him were always close, they had a bond, they understood each other without words. Where had he gone wrong? He went through his memories when he first met her she thought she was worthless that she didn't deserve friends. He was able to change her mind. She once told him that he gave her hope. He was able to help her understand friendship and that she was a worthy friend. He went through the last memory of her, one he hated to revisit in his mind. A memory of her soulful eyes that portrayed sadness that quickly went emotionless blocking him out when she figured out he was leaving indefinitely. Her eyes, the eyes that haunted his dreams at least once a weak as a reminder to not make him forget.

"Exactly? What is that supposed to mean? You don't actually believe I would hurt Raven intentionally"

"No, not intentionally"

"What do you mean not intentionally? What could I have possibly done to hurt her if I wasn't even there?"

And then it hit him. That day that he left the look in her eyes the same blank look that he gives him now. He wondered if it was possible. I wasn't even there. His exhaustion finally caught up to him and he drifted of to sleep with those soulful eyes as his last thought.

After mediating Raven tried to not think about the worry and anguish she saw in his eyes upon her awakening. She tried not to ponder too much on why Richard had stayed by her side. But this is all she thought about as she drifted off to sleep.

well you know review if you have any thoughts on the chapter.

Thank you

-Seaz