CHAPTER TEN

It took a great amount of concentration to make it through dinner that evening. The way Edward had spoken to me just minutes prior was somewhat of a frightening revelation. The smell of his cologne wafting over me with his husky voice gave me a hint of affirmation. The moment any feeling would arise within me, I would have to look over to my daughter and find my husband James looking back at me through her eyes, and that would cease all further thoughts.

What was happening to me? I never looked at Edward before, so why now? I get all glammed up and he speaks softly to me in some raspy voice and suddenly I'm having feelings….urges.

Urges.

Crap, he's looking over here. I quickly shake the nasty thoughts and take a drink of water.

"What was that about?" he asked, suspecting.

"What is what?" I replied too quickly.

"You're acting weird." He furrows his brow and continues to inspect me, and I work overtime thinking of something that I dislike in order to keep the blush from my cheeks.

Dust.

Rudeness.

Poverty.

"Something is definitely up with you and I don't think I will like it when you finally do admit to it."

"Nothing is up." I stand up from the table and take my plate over to the sink. "Maisey, are you finished?"

"Yes, mommy. Can I go watch the tele-vision now?"

"Sure, but only for an hour. You have bed time." I reminded.

She scampers off toward our new flat screen to settle down in the big chair and has it already set to Disney before I can walk back to the table to retrieve her dirty dish.

"So…they told me about a job opening at the school today. What do you think?" I hoped my question would be enough of a distraction for Edward.

"Yeah, I heard. They have an opening for a gym teacher as well. I was thinking of applying. It's probably best that we obtain jobs so we can keep up the charade."

"Can we? I mean, we don't have any form of identification or the necessary credentials."

"I can take care of that. I have to go into the city tomorrow and I will talk to Agent Black then."

I finished washing off the plates and began to pull the food from the table, taking Edward's plate as well.

"You don't have to do that. I can get my own plate."

"Oh, come on. You cooked so it's only fair that I clean up."

"Well, if that's how it's going to be, I'll cook every meal. I hate clean up." He grimaced.

"I'm just happy that you found something somewhat healthy for my kid to eat."

"That's how I do it. I slowly lull you into a world of trans fat and carbs. In a month, you'll be hooked. Just you wait and see." He playfully poked me in the side. Feeling awkward of his flirtations, I didn't respond to his jesting and opted to return to the sink, letting my hair create a nice veil from looking at him.

"So…you're going into the city tomorrow. Denver? That's a long drive."

"The farther away I get, the better, just in case. I would ask you to come, but I don't think Moo Moo would be up for that long of a drive."

"No. No. It's for the best. I have to get Maisey ready for school on Monday. I will probably see if Alice can give us a ride to town so we can get school supplies. Besides, now that you bought that thing, I'm sure I won't be able to pull her away for that long of a trip." I sighed, waving my hand at the new addition.

"That thing? That thing has a heart you know." He kidded. "Besides, I'm sure you're thanking me deep down inside, but if you're not, believe me, you will be. It can get mighty boring out here. But, don't worry, I have a little surprise for you later."

I grimaced looking at him in shock. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Whoa, calm down there miss dirty minded." He razzed, "I bought us some DVDs that we can all enjoy. Well…not all can enjoy. The content could be a little mature for Moo Moo to handle, but I had you in mind when I was shopping. I think I found something that even you will like."

"Oh!" I pulled back and relaxed a little.

"Need to lighten up, Bella." He sang, walking over toward the living room and joining Maisey.

I finished cleaning up dinner and began to walk toward the living room, but stopped when I noticed that my only seating option would be to sit next to Edward on the couch. The couch was long enough to accommodate both of us but, still, it would feel awkward.

"You can join us. You don't need to stand there like a statue." Edward offered.

"Uh…" I look around and see that I'm saved by the bell, "Maisey, it's bedtime. Let's get you ready."

Maisey pulls herself off the big chair and runs over to Edward and gives him a big hug.

"Goodnight, Uncle Edward."

Something in my heart breaks all over again as I see her bond with the first male figure to be present in her life since she was a baby. I watch as Edward gives her a kiss on the head and tells her good night. And even though I know I am a good mom, I feel like I failed her. There was something she needed and I couldn't provide.

I walk her up the steps and talk to her while she brushes her teeth, telling her how we are going school supply shopping tomorrow, and then I tuck her in for the night. I leave the bathroom light on for her night light and let the door stay open a smidge so she isn't bothered by the sounds of the television.

I stand at the top of the stairs staring down. I can tell that Edward has turned off the lights and it's only the glow from the screen that illuminates the downstairs. I am at a crossroads. It's too early to go to sleep, but it wouldn't be right going downstairs when my whole being has been fighting with itself this evening.

Go to bed, Bella!

GO TO BED!

My inner monologue yelling at itself is enough to push my feet towards my bedroom. I too get ready for bed, irritated that I have forced the bedtime of a child onto myself. I want to smack myself upside the head over this ridiculousness as I angrily put my pajamas on. I go through the motions of teeth brushing and washing up and when I return to my bed, it doesn't looking any more inviting then it did ten minutes ago.

I stare up at the ceiling, knowing full well that sleep is not my friend right now. However, a few minutes into my silent personal reflections, I hear a soft knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I called out.

The door opens and it's Edward.

"What?" I asked, wondering why he would come to my bedroom at this time of night.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"It's like eight-thirty." He replied with the shake of his head.

"And?"

I know he has every right to ask me questions, even in his tone, but I can't help but snap at him.

"Bella...you're not a child." He whispered, conspiratorially. "You get to go to bed at the grown up time."

I rolled my eyes, even though he can't see me in the dark, and sighed.

"I was tired."

"No, you're not. You go to bed now and you'll be up with the rooster. And we don't even have a rooster so it will be doubly pathetic. I thought you were going to come back down. I had the DVD player all set up and ready."

"So…you can watch it without me. I'm sure our tastes don't run in the same vein of entertainment."

"Would you please come down?" He huffed.

"Why?"

"Because, you're practically the only adult I get to interact with, and I would appreciate a little intellectual stimulation."

I make a great scene of getting up and out of bed even though, a half hour ago, I had to fight to not go down those stairs. Down the stairs and straight into hell, I think cynically.

"Thank you. You won't regret this."

I'm sure I will.

The television is on and the DVD menu is up. I read the title out loud wondering what it is.

"Game of Thrones."

"Have you seen it?" Edward asked.

"What is it?"

He stared at me in shock, with his mouth dropped open and his eyes wide.

"What is it?" He clarified. "What is it?"

"Are you planning on answering the question or will we be here all night, Mr. Trebeck?"

"Bella…this is like one of the greatest television feats of all time. Game of Thrones is mind blowing."

"What's it about?" I asked apathetically.

Edward scrunches his forehead and takes a minute before he begins to stutter out an answer.

"Well…you see, there's this throne…and…."

"And let me guess; are there games around this throne?" I mocked.

"Just shut up and watch the show." He huffed, giving up.

I can't help but smile triumphantly as I take my place on the couch. Edward grabs the remote and plops right down next to me, pressing play, all in one swift motion.

"What are you doing?" I asked, possibly a tad too sharply.

Edward looked at me like I had lost my mind and I began to wonder if indeed I had. What the hell was the matter with me? I could practically feel myself break into a sweat by how close he was.

"I thought we could cuddle." He stated matter of factly.

My eyes bugged out of my skull and he began laughing.

"What is with you? Seriously!"

My eyes darted around the room so I wouldn't have to look at him while I prepared my answer.

"I…just wanted to be able to…stretch out, and I can't do that if your bulky body takes up the whole couch." I rambled.

"Bulky body?" He thinks about that for a minute. "I'm going to go ahead and take that as a compliment. You have room to stretch. I promise my muscles and I will not impede on your stretch time."

He waves at my legs and then pushes himself down as far as he can go, opposite of me. The music starts and I begin to place all my focus on the television as my feet dangle closely toward the no go zone of Edward and his bulky body. Bulky body! Bulky body? I want to smack myself once again. I sighed and shook my head, frustrated at my current lack of brainpower.

"The show is only five minutes in. What on earth could you possibly be huffing at over there?" Edward snapped.

"I'm just…thinking." I sighed, exasperated. "I wasn't trying to silently comment on your little show. I was thinking of…other things."

Edward paused the show and looked over to me. "Would you not! Please, for the love of god, just relax and not think for once? Eyes on the screen, brain off, and watch the show as it was intended to be watched; mindlessly."

"Fine! If it will get you to shut up and get through this so I can go to bed, then fine, I will mindlessly watch your show."

"Thank you! Was that too much to ask?" He replied under his breath. "The next time I catch you trying to think while this is playing…I'm going to poke your…toe." He looked down at my feet and, self-consciously, I tried to dig them into the couch cushion.

Once more, Edward pressed play and we began to watch. I tried to not think about anything more than the show in front of me. It was some kind of period piece set in medieval times or something and so far there were like a thousand different characters introduced and each of them more annoying than the last. These are some horrible people.

My eyes wander over to Edward and I see that he is thoroughly enjoying the show. I watch as the light bounces off his perfectly sculpted face with his piercing green eyes. A hint of a smile plays on his lips and, for a moment, I am lost. I too find myself smiling while I watch him.

However, like we suddenly had surround sound in our tiny house, my head snaps to the screen. My mouth drops open and I am in a state of shock as two of the characters have taken to…doing it right there on the big screen.

I jump out of my seat and dash toward the television.

"Shhh! Shhh!" I frantically wave my hands at the screen while I look for the volume button.

"What the hell is the matter?" Edward yelled

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" I shouted back.

Edward hits pause on the screen, allowing the noise to desist, but the screen is paused with the blonde one mounting the other blond one from behind. Hey, isn't that his sister?

"Bella!" Edward breaks me from my thoughts.

"I have a child upstairs. I don't need her learning about the birds and the bees this way." I snapped.

"Oh, come on! She's asleep and, besides, it wasn't that loud. You didn't seem to have a problem with the whorehouse scene."

Whorehouse scene? I tried to think back, but I must have not been paying attention. Edward's copper locks and green eyes flash through my mind.

"Well…it…wasn't…loud then." I stuttered out a hopeless defense.

Edward sighed and his body sagged, "Fine, how about we turn the volume down every time there's a sex scene."

"Every time? How many sex scenes are there?" I asked uncomfortably.

"I don't know. I didn't exactly keep a count the last time I watched this. A lot. I promise to lower the volume for every sex scene. Geez!"

I looked back to the screen, saw it frozen, and cringed. "Look, I don't really think this is my cup of tea. The show is really violent and it's kind of mature."

"Bella, you're not twelve. You can watch something that doesn't have a singing sponge in it. You are a mature woman who can watch a mature television program. Hell, I would swear you were a virgin if the proof wasn't sleeping soundly upstairs."

"First of all, we don't watch Spongebob. That seems more like a show for your level of maturity. And, secondly, there is nothing wrong with me not wanting to watch this…this filth." I spat.

"Heaven knows God must be watching you, Bella. It must be forbidden to see the flesh so tempting." He mocked. "On second thought, Moo Moo is obviously a product of immaculate conception. I highly doubt you have ever really been touched by a man for, if you had, there is no way you could ever be this much of a prude. It's a fucking television show! How are you ever able to shit with how tight your asshole is wound?" He yelled.

"FUCK YOU!" I spit.

I gasped, instantly realizing what I just said. I slapped my hand over my mouth. Edward stood back and, suddenly, all the tension in his body left. His face turned from anger into a slow smile.

"Welll, well, well…Miss Swan. With a mouth that dirty, maybe you have known the touch of a man before."

I was utterly embarrassed and immediately disappointed in myself. I shook my head, confused by my behavior, and turned swiftly to run toward my bedroom. I had officially lost it. I don't use profanity. How did he manage to do this to me? Get me so worked up that I completely lost my mind.

My thoughts search for the trigger to our newest argument and the scene from the television screen fills my head. I try to shake the dirty thoughts from my mind, but the more I try to do so, the more they become ingrained. The images are practically feasting on my brain until the actors are replaced with images of us. Edward and me, us!

"AHHH!" I groan as quietly as possible. I continue my vicious pacing about my room, but am halted to a stop as my door opens. Edward appears and gives a slight grimace.

"What is the matter with you?" I exclaimed. "Do you have no understanding that a door closed is the international sign for leave me alone."

He looks as if he is weighing out a response but shrugs and replies, "Don't you mean, leave me the fuck alone?"

"UGH!" I want to jump on him like a ravaged beast and scratch his eyes out but, instead, I settle for using all my strength to push him out the door. "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

Edward doesn't move and, even though I am using all my strength, he doesn't budge. "Will you give me a minute? I came to apologize."

I momentarily cease my fruitless pushing. I pull back and fold my arms across my chest and let out a slow indignant sigh.

"I…apologize." He says after a couple of beats.

"For?" I give him the raise of my eyebrow.

He sighed, looking around the room, searching for the answer.

"If you don't know what you did, then your apology is unaccepted."

"Would you not get your panties in such a twist and give me a minute. I really don't even know what I did wrong other than having the volume at an acceptable level. I guess I apologize for trying to have a good time around you. I guess I apologize for going out and picking out a show that apparently you're not old enough to watch yet…"

"That is not what this is about!" I interrupted.

"Oh please, then tell me what this is about. You've been acting weird the whole night and then you go all crazy after seeing a little bit of skin. What are you so afraid of?" He grabs a hold of me, his hands grasping my upper arms. "Bella, you are not a child. You are a mature and beautiful woman who should open her eyes and see what the world has to offer her. You deserve to see beauty and…"

"Beauty! That wasn't beautiful. It was porn, brother and sister porn from what I worked out. Is that what you want to watch? Brother and sister porn?"

"That was one story line!" He defended. "Are you worried that it's going to give me ideas about you, little sister?"

"You are not my brother!" I snapped, outraged.

He released my arms and stepped back with a small smile.

"What?" I asked.

He slowly shook his head.

"WHAT!"

"Uh…nothing." His little secret plays on his lips, but he decides to keep it to himself and it throws my mind into overdrive.

"You have a good night, Bella. I promise…I will try harder tomorrow."

"Try harder at what?" I asked, frustrated that he still won't tell me what he is thinking.

"I wish you a good night my fair maiden." He is at the door and turns back to me once more. "Please don't give up on Game of Thrones. You have no idea…" He shakes his head and stops himself. "Just remember you are a beautiful and mature woman who can handle a little skin."

Edward closes the door and I am left there even worse off than before. What the heck just happened? I try and replay the argument in my head. You are not my brother! You are not my brother! I repeat. He said, are you worried it's going to give me ideas about you, little sister.

Oh!

Oh no!

I completely overreacted to the wrong part of his sentence. Oh no! Oh no! Now, Edward is going to think I like him.

I nibble on my lip while I think of all the ramifications of the evening. Well, I will just tell him that I don't like him. I will never like him. I don't think of him like that. I don't think of him like that with me. With me…slamming into me from behind.

OH NO!

Damn you Game of Thrones!

I switch from nibbling on my lip to full blown tearing off the tips of my fingernails, a habit that I rid myself of five years ago. I look over toward my mirror and see the improvements that I had made earlier.

You are a mature and beautiful woman, Bella. I am not a child. I am a beautiful and mature woman. I am not a prude! I am not a prude! I can watch porn. I can watch mountains and mountains of porn if I wanted to. Well, not mountains maybe. Edward didn't need to talk down to me. Immaculate conception! HA! I've had sex. I have mountains and mountains of sex! Well not mountains…but it was good. James and I may not have done it in the fashion of the blonde one and her brother, but we weren't just having sex, we were making love. That's right! We were making love, and when two people love each other, they don't need any kind of weird monkey sex.

I charge out my door, my self-empowerment fueling me to get to Edward. I am going to explain to him what real love making is all about. I am not a prude! I skid to a halt, seeing the television now dark and quiet. My eyes look around the room slowly as they land on the remote.

Don't do it! You don't need to prove anything.

I shut out the tiny person in the back of my head and snatch up the remote. It takes me a minute to figure out how to work it properly, but I am back to where I left off in no time. Let's just see what kind of games these thrones want to play.

AN: Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I just got back from vacation so sorry for the long delay. Unfortunately, this is my busy time of year at work and with the added bonus of taxes, it may be longer between updates. As of right now I am toying with the idea of finishing one story before going back to other.

Thank you to my beta, Robstenvampgirl! She worked her butt off to get this back to me quickly so I could get it to you!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.