Hey guys! THANKS SO MUCH for all of the lovely reviews you gave, I really appreciated them. I decided to update again partly as a thank you, and partly because I just really love doing it, haha. We start to get into the war memories in this chapter, tough stuff for Ichigo. We see little bits of the memories before, but here's the whole scene...So, lemme know what you think, and thanks for reading. I don't own Bleach. MissCyraf

10

Won't be Repressed

A thin blade sliced the air in front of him, arching just inches in front of his face. He flash-stepped back and away, knowing instinctively that the blade would come again, and this time, would not miss its mark. It wasn't an Espada, only one of the lower ranked Arrancar. Ichigo smirked at the Arrancar, it wasn't really that much of a threat. Slashing Tensa Zangetsu out towards his opponent, they locked blades for a second, only to each go for another blow. Ichigo was faster, much faster. The Arrancar was as he thought, no real challenge at all. His smirk grew into a somewhat sadistic grin as their blades clashed again, but this time, he side-stepped, whipping the blade at his opponent from the side. Zangetsu cut in deep, a wave of blood spurted out of the wound, sprinkling him with droplets. It didn't matter, he was going to end this. Drawing Tensa Zangetsu upward, he pushed his reiatsu into the blade, about to release his favorite attack.

"Getsuga—!" He wasn't able to even finish, a new blade suddenly burst through the stomach of his opponent, surprising both combatants. The Arrancar, who up until this moment was alive, if not well, was tossed aside as the new blade lashed sideways, his body slumping as he gurgled his last breaths, then dissolving away. The intruder into their battle, his new opponent, he immediately recognized. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.

"Bastard. Killing one of your own?" Ichigo snarled at him, readying himself for what he knew would be a difficult battle. Grimmjow's head dipped to the side as he scoffed at the Shinigami substitute, whipping his blade to the side to get the blood off.

"He was in my way." Taking a step forward, he grinned maliciously, eyes blazing with crazed hate. "Nobody messes with my prey." With that, the Espada launched himself at Ichigo, who only had a second to claw his hand down in front of his face, feeling the familiar drain and then surge of reiatsu as his Vaizard mask stretched across his face.

Grimmjow seemed to delight in his usage of the mask, shouting out taunts and insults as they slashed at each other, neither getting a bit in. They paused for a second, both pulling back as they analyzed each other. Ichigo's eyes flicked over the Espada, still in his unreleased form. The bastard had gotten stronger. He grit his teeth, but Grimmjow only stuck his hand in his pocket, his grin broadening.

"Heh. I had forgotten how strong that mask thing really is, it almost got me last time." Ichigo remembered their last fight, when he was trying to save Inoue. He had thought that the Espada had died after that fight, he hadn't seen him since. Grimmjow thrust his sword forward, to point at Ichigo with deadly intent. "But you didn't give the last strike…" He lowered his head slightly, but his eyes stayed locked on Ichigo's. "Your mistake." The Espada charged again.

He was stronger, so much stronger. It wasn't even comparable to last time. Now, having taken on his released form, the 6th Espada easily dodged Ichigo's attacks, raking his claws forward to dig in Ichigo's flesh. Gasping, Ichigo twisted around to slice at the claws, but Grimmjow was faster, changing the angle of his attack.

"Kurosaki-kun!" The sudden scream echoed above the sounds of his own panting for breath, he saw Inoue out of the corner of his eye as she ran toward them. Even as his body was pounded by Grimmjow's fist, Ichigo recognized the irony. History seemed to be repeating itself. And I'm not going to lose this time either! He ducked under the Espada's claws, grabbing his wrist. Tightening his grip on Tensa Zangetsu in thte other hand, he swung it downwards.

"Getsuga Tenshou!" The Arrancar was too close to dodge, taking the blow full blast, his body thrown back by the impact. Ichigo knew that Grimmjow wouldn't be down for long, and Inoue was in more danger this time than she was in their first head-on battle.

"Inoue! Get the hell out of here!" He shouted back at her, but she stood solidly where she was, refusing to leave him. Ichigo quickly scanned the area, his other comrades were also fighting nearby. His battle with Grimmjow endangered them all, he couldn't risk accidentally harming them, he had little control over his own strength in this form.

"Kurosaki-kun! Let me heal you—!" He cut off her appeal, the sickly yellow eyes that he knew terrified her locking on her. She was in the most danger.

"Get out of here, Inoue, you'll only get hurt!" An enraged howl erupted from not too far away, clouds of dust prevented him from actually seeing the Arrancar that would soon erupt from them towards both of them. He couldn't do it, he couldn't keep them all from danger, not here. That thought firmly in mind, he crouched and launched himself up into the air, meaning to take the battle elsewhere. To his horror, though, Inoue followed.

"Inoue! You have to get out of here!" He could see the tears running down her cheeks as she chased him, but he couldn't pause his battle just to try and reassure her.

"Please, Kurosaki-kun! Please, let me help! I—I want to be able to help—I want—" She fell to her knees, reaching out to him. The sight rankled in him deeply, but there was nothing he could do, he couldn't protect her, or anyone, if he let her stand by his side.

"I'm sorry, Inoue. You can't." A blue and white flash streaked toward him, Ichigo brought his sword down just in time to catch the other's, Grimmjow cackled in twisted delight.

"Tryin' to take this away from your friends, eh, Kurosaki? How weak." Grimmjow struck again. "Friends and shit like that tie you down, they keep you from bein' able to fight! I don't give a damn if I hurt anybody, they're all just in the way!" Below, the human girl was still trying to help, shooting Tsubaki up at Grimmjow. The Arrancar just brushed it aside, the attack only drew his attention down to Inoue. "Tryin' to help him, bitch!? Now you're in my way!" The Arrancar dived down at Inoue, clearly intending to simply wipe her out.

"Inoue!" Ichigo threw himself between them, unable to fully stop the attack.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques thrust his fist through Ichigo's belly, blood spurting out of his body, he could feel it rise in his throat, hacking and choking on it as it drained through his mouth.

"You wanna protect her, fine! I'll just do it the other way around, I'll kill you, then her! Ulquiorra's little pet, I just wish he was here so I could see the look on his face when I kill his stupid bitch!" The Sixth Espada began to laugh then, slamming his fists into Ichigo's face as the Shinigami tried to stand. The pain was excruciating, he felt that his head would soon burst from the constant impact. He couldn't even see the blows coming any more, thick blood flowing freely into his eyes, burning them. He couldn't think, couldn't breath, he hurt so horribly, collapsing completely under the weight of Grimmjow's fists.

The Arrancar's laughter was the only thing he could hear, another fist crashed into his belly, blood was forced out of the gaping hole in his stomach again and its impact sent him flying backwards like a limp rag into a stone wall. His consciousness was slipping in and out, he felt like he was dying and almost hoped he was just to end the pain. With one blood-filled eye, he could make out the blurry form of the Arrancar drawing near, pulling back his fists to end his prey's life.

"Ichigo!" A voice rose above the commotion, one he knew so very well. He couldn't see her, there was too much blood, but even with his pain-saturated senses, he could feel her. Rukia… "Second dance! Hakuren!" The fist was stilled by a blast of ice. His vision was clearing somewhat, he could make out shapes, some colors. Enough to see what was happening. Half of the Arrancar was frozen solid, he was stuck in place, unable to continue his attack. Grimmjow lurched around as best he could to see his new attacker, the one preventing him from finishing off his prey.

"You! Didn't I kill you already, bitch!?" Rukia ignored him, her composure admirably fearless, almost bored. Like her brother. Inoue was the exact opposite, still on her knees close by, crumpled and tears falling freely as she watched the scene play out in clear horror. Still ignoring the Arrancar, Rukia addressed the sobbing girl behind her.

"Inoue, please heal Ichigo." Then turning to flash the red-headed girl a small, confident smile, she raised her sword again. "I'll take care of the Espada for now. Don't worry, it's going to be ok." Her eyes snapped back to Grimmjow, who was now loudly mocking her and clawing at the ice with his other hand, attempting to wrest his arm from the ice. Ichigo could see the scene more clearly now, shocked that Rukia's ice was now able to hold Grimmjow's arm. He's so much more powerful…how is her attack able to stand up to him? He felt a wave of pride for Rukia, her own skills must have greatly improved as well.

"First dance—" Grimmjow cut her off, snarling.

"Don't think you've finished me yet, bitch!" With that, he held his open hand over the ice-covered one, a glow beginning to form in the center of his palm. Cero! He—he's going to blow his own arm off—! Like the wild animal he was, willing to chew off his own limb to escape the trap. "Better get out of the way little girl, or this cero'll take you out too!" He screamed at her as the orb in his hand grew larger.

"I don't think so! TSUKISHIRO!" A pillar of ice burst out from underneath Grimmjow's feet, shooting up into the air and enveloping him entirely. The cero in his frozen hand blinked out entirely, he was entombed.

"Inoue! Please, help me get Ichigo out of here! That ice'll only hold him for a few minutes!" Inoue struggled to her feet, joining Rukia as they rushed up to Ichigo. Surprising him, they managed to actually carry him sort of, one of his arms slung over each other their shoulders, his feet dragging behind him.

"Rukia…" He was still moderately shocked by her show of power, she was able to stand up to Grimmjow, however briefly. She wouldn't be able to stand his all-out attacks, but the fact that she could still them, if even for a short time, greatly impressed him. He made a mental note to never underestimate her again. Rukia, however, ignored his surprise, giving him a half grin.

"You're heavy as hell." She muttered. Though his wounds hurt, hurt more than he cared to admit, he couldn't help but laugh. Then he passed out.

.

…Shit. I'm so fucking weak…I couldn't even protect them then…Much less now.

Another memory that wouldn't be repressed. The beginning of some of the worst. It was after the final push into Hueco Mundo. He, along with his friends, were in one of the many specialty squads created for storming Las Noches. It was the only specialty squad that didn't include any Captains, it had been decided that his strength, along with the strength of his "ryoka friends" would be enough to prove a veritable fighting force. Along with himself, Chad, Ishida, and Orihime, a small group of seated officers from various squads had been added as well. His team hadn't originally included either Rukia or Renji, but apparently both Byakuya and Ukitake had agreed that they would fight best with the "Special Squad", since they were so close to the leaders. Ichigo had been privately relieved, he had been planning to demand he get them even from the Chief Commander if he had to. He figured the least Soul Society could do was let him fight with his friends, since he was helping them in what wasn't technically his fight. He wouldn't let them know that he had made it his fight from the beginning.

Inoue Orihime had been the first to be withdrawn. She just wasn't strong enough, she couldn't bear to see all the blood and pain around her, she hated fighting. Worse than that, though, she was endangering herself and others by trying to so hard to help. Ichigo knew it. They all knew it. He and his friends had tried to their best abilities to keep her distanced from the fighting, but it became practically impossible, they were surrounded. There was no way they could spare her from what enveloped all of them. Being taken away from the front lines was best for her, but he still had felt like he had lost a small piece of himself, some of his constant mental, if not physical, support.

Ichigo was lying on his face, hoping to just go to sleep, but swept up in memories instead. The previous night's dream had officially put him in a foul mood, made worse by Rukia's little performance and his family's over the top worrying. She had gone out to visit Renji again, a fact that mildly irritated him. He liked Renji, but…Rukia was visiting him a lot. Not that I care…not that I want her here bugging me either, he sullenly thought, pulling the pillow down to cover his head more. He had been hiding from her still, not wanting to face her out of humiliation. He knew it was stupid, that he was being foolish, but hid none the less.

That wasn't the only reason for his sourness today. He had a lingering headache, and his memories seemed unwilling to stay repressed. Perhaps because of a cycle; he was in a bad mood and unable to think of anything positive, which made the memories surface, and because the memories kept surfacing, he was in a bad mood. Though usually Ichigo was apprehensive about sleeping, fearing the nightmares, they almost seemed better than his memories. Especially the one that chose to surface now, he still felt guilty about Inoue's withdrawal, feeling it was his fault. He hadn't seen her since then, though he knew she was fine and well back at home. His guilt kept him from wanting to see her, just as it kept him from seeing many of his friends. He couldn't protect them. Soon though…soon I won't be able to hide from them anymore. School starts soon…

A ripple of reiatsu cut into his sulking, he twisted around from his position in his bed so he was sitting upright. His first reaction was to yell for Rukia, to ask her where it was. Dammit! She's not here! Another ripple coursed through him, and he reached for his badge, deciding. But she'll probably be there, and this time, I'm going to protect her! And everybody else! Slamming the badge into his chest, he was forced from his body, it crumpling behind him in a heap. Without a second thought, he leapt from the window.

o o o o o

Two monstrous Hollows came into view, trashing objects like mailboxes, benches, and lampposts on the street.

"Shit! How come we didn't feel them before!?" Renji shouted over at Rukia as she drew Sode no Shirayuki. Holding her zanpakuto aloft, she softly replied, eyes dead set on the Hollows in front of her.

"They only just appeared. Dance, Sode no Shirayuki." Renji only hesitated for a moment before springing into action as well, caught up in the sight of her as she released her sword. Although he had seen her fight with the magnificent blade countless times over the course of the war, it still briefly, like her enemies, made him freeze. She was so very graceful. Much like the way his Captain was, but with a pure, simplistic, captivating beauty that Byakuya seemed to lack. Eyes completely focused on her, he missed the enormous Hollow fist that came crashing down at him. Turning just in time to see that fist barreling towards him, he raised his own blade—but it struck nothing. The Hollow's whole arm disintegrated in front of him. Renji recoiled, not understanding for a moment.

"Slow as ever, idiot," Then he understood, glancing back at the orange-headed Shinigami who landed behind him, having just neatly sliced off the Hollow's arm.

"I didn't need your help, Strawberry!" Renji snarled at him, feeling incredibly stupid as Ichigo smirked disdainfully at him.

"Yeah, whatever. Stop zoning out and go help Rukia, this one's mine," He replied arrogantly, further pissing Renji off.

"The hell it is! You go help her, I got here first!"

"Well I'm the one who actually got the bastard, so you go help her!"

"Only cause you were gettin' in my way—!" They were screaming at each other now, both now forgetting about the Hollow entirely. Ichigo opened his mouth to shout back, when he suddenly cut off, glancing down at his feet in clear astonishment. Renji, as the same time, felt a rather uncomfortable sensation around his own ankles, looking down in horror as ice began to creep up his legs. He flailed his arms uselessly, protesting in shock, while Ichigo did the same. The ice continued to climb up their bodies until everything but their heads were covered. They couldn't move at all, completely frozen in place. Rukia, eyes closed, her expression calm, but the reiatsu pulsing around her strangling, stepping into their fields of vision.

"Rukia!? What the hell! Get this ice off of us!"

"Yeah, what the hell are you thinking!?" She opened her eyes now, they were flashing with her positive wrath.

"While you two were bitching, I defeated both of the Hollows." Making direct eye contact first with Renji, then with Ichigo, she quietly sheathed her sword. "I don't need help. Especially not from two idiots like you. So," And she turned away, leaving both Ichigo and Renji to start sputtering again. "I'm going to leave you two here to think about it." She strode over to her gigai, got back into it, and walked away, seemingly completely deaf to their shouts of protest. They finally fell silent, both now seething and sulking in their ice shells.

"…Maybe she won't be angry anymore by the time this shit melts…" Renji suggested dully. Both knew that probably wouldn't be the case.

o o o o o

After nearly a half hour of struggling, shouting, arguing and then giving up, Ichigo now chose to ignore Renji, cursed at himself silently. Fuck. I wasn't able to fucking protect her again!…Not anybody. What the hell is wrong with me!?

o o o o o

Deciding not to go immediately back to the house, Rukia made her way to the park, seating herself on a bench that she and Ichigo used to sit and talk before the war. Her anger was cooling off, she honestly wasn't too surprised by the way the idiots were acting. Once again bickering, once again underestimating her abilities. Fools. She knew how strong they were, stronger than her by far, Ichigo especially, but that didn't make her weak. Anything but. She had been to Hueco Mundo with them, right? She had fought beside them, she had even lasted longer than Renji. Though…The attacks he was brought down by…I don't think I could have survived them. And he did. She sighed, scanning the duck-filled pond in front of her, watching distractedly as two ducks squabbled. Picturing them as Ichigo and Renji, she let a grin slowly spread across her face, even allowing herself to chuckle somewhat under her breath. They really are idiots…She thought, but not without affection. Momentarily, she considered releasing them from their ice cocoons, but dismissed the thought, deciding that it would be easier on her later if they got all of their bickering out of their system for a while. Maybe, if she was lucky, until Renji chose to leave.

She still cared about him dearly, she really did, but his presence was causing…complications. She had been so happy to see him in the beginning, was still happy to be around him, Ichigo seemed to almost resent his presence. He hadn't said anything, but she just got that vibe from him. That, and he was becoming moody more frequently. It almost seemed that in this tense time between Ichigo and herself, her time with Renji was only proving to be a wedge driven in between them. That, and she couldn't deny the awkwardness that she felt while they attempted to rebuild their friendship. Rukia couldn't help but wonder how he really felt. It all happened so long ago…They had only become friends again over the past couple of years. After I met Ichigo.

She pursed her lips, the ducks were snapping at each other now. Ichigo…I don't get him…not right now anyway. Things used to be so easy, but now he doesn't seem to make any sense to me. Renji was good for breaks from Ichigo, but in all honesty, she didn't want to have to take a break from him. She just wanted everything to be as it was. Comfortable. It seemed like last night they were finally back to that point, but now…he's being a moody asshole again. Her delicate, yet callused hand curled into a fist, and scowling bitterly, she punched the wooden seat of the bench, ignoring the pain in her fingers it caused.

This is getting me angry…Stupid. She pushed her thoughts elsewhere, not wanting to aggravate her emotions anymore by thinking her two fool friends. Two Hollows attacking at once…Not extremely unusual, but not entirely normal. She hadn't felt any strong reiatsu pulses in the area to draw them either. Actually, she didn't even feel enough to entice even one Hollow, especially not two. That was irregular, Hollows were drawn to high reiatsu levels in human souls, but that was just it. They had to be drawn. The fact that two of them just seemed to randomly appear was odd. Well…Everything has been odd since the war. I can't expect it all to have gone back to normal as soon as it ended. Rukia decided that it wasn't strange enough to merit a report to Soul Society, shrugging it off. After a while longer, spent wrapped up in her thoughts and watching the ducks, she hefted herself off the bench, heading back towards the Kurosaki household.

o o o o o

Renji was the first to get a free arm, attempting to smash the ice at first with a reiatsu-enforced fist. Ichigo only snorted at him from his own ice-prison, causing Renji to pause long enough to snap at him.

"What's so funny, Strawberry?!" The orange-headed substitute knew exactly how to piss him off, with nothing more than a simple noise.

"If Rukia's ice can hold off Grimmjow, it sure as hell can withstand your punches, idiot. You'll just have to wait until your sword is free." Renji hadn't seen her ice do that, he had been fighting elsewhere when that event during the war had happened, but had heard about it later. He hadn't believed the accounts related to him by several Shinigami at first, until he had seen her stop another Espada in his tracks with it. The ice hadn't killed the Arrancar, but had certainly held him in place. Renji gave up his assault on the ice, taking Ichigo's advice.

"Fine." They really would just have to wait.

- - - - - - - - -

Instant recap! We get some insight into some of Ichigo's memories about the war, they're not too pleasant. Inoue kind of gets in the way. (I'm not a huge fan of her, but I'm not going to bash her or anything in this story. She is a rather important character. This wasn't a brilliant scene for her, but she does get better, promise. Proud of Rukia, though, that ice sword is handy...) He's snapped out of the memories by the reiatsu of the Hollows, and meets Rukia and Renji at the scene. Renji's not paying too much attention, Ichigo fights his Hollow, they argue, and Rukia ices them. Lol. If I had that ability, I would too. Constant bickering is annoying... Ichigo gets pissed at himself for once again not protecting, I feel bad for the guy, life's not his friend right now. Rukia thinks on why the Hollows attacking, it wasn't normal. And finally, we go back to the boys sitting in the ice, haha.

Hope you liked it, the next chapter is a biggie. Thanks for reading, and if you have any comments, questions, please review! Miss Cyraf