The Finalizer has arrived at Coruscant. The situation here is complicated. The planet-wide city has only recently come under First Order control and it is still tense as the new government makes its presence known. Kylo has called Vitok and Demyan to him to brief them on their mission on the surface. He has selected Vitok because her time with the Empire makes her the most familiar with Coruscant. He is sending Demyan because, though he had seriously crossed a line, Kylo finds he still trusts him more than any of the other Knights.
"You are seeking Sylten Qree, a human male. He is a con-man and occasional smuggler." Kylo says the last word with particular venom.
"What do we know about him?" Vitok asks. Demyan stays near the door, his posture rigid. It is clear to Kylo that Demyan has not forgiven him for putting him in his place. It should be of no matter to Kylo, but he still wishes Demyan had not forced the issue, made him show his one-time friend why he must submit. Kylo regrets that Demyan had ensured that such a display was necessary.
"The information is scant. Sylten Qree kept to the Western Reaches until recently, he conned one too many unsuspecting victims and moved on to the Core. He may work with a human female of the same age."
"Why are we seeking him?" Vitok queries. Demyan stays quiet.
"He has information that I require." Kylo will not explain himself further.
"Well, if he's there, we'll find him, Supreme Leader," Vitok promises.
"Good. Happy hunting." Kylo looks down at his datapad as the Knights leave to bring him Sylten Qree.
Once they are gone, Kylo sits back, thinking. He hopes that they are successful; he wants very much to find Rey's family. He knows she wants to be with them more than anything, but he's afraid she won't like the answers he finds. He will protect her from anything painful. If he finds that they are as he suspects, he simply won't tell her. But if he finds that somewhere there is a family waiting, wanting her, he will make sure that they are reunited.
That she was treated so poorly, it haunts him. He hopes that she will let his love heal her; that she will trust that she never has to be lonely again. He would never abandon her; never leave her to hurt like that. He thinks of all the pain he had felt when he was in her mind that day on Starkiller. He had nearly choked on all of that anguish. His beloved bears deep scars and he will do everything in his power to erase them.
He contemplates his vision for the galaxy and he's filled with the familiar bitterness he feels towards his … family. Rey should never have had to live the way she did. He will make certain that no child will suffer like that. Once he has succeeded.
Kylo walks the decks, pleased at the way the stormtroopers part and the officers acknowledge him respectfully. Where there had once been fear, there is now awe. He's remembering the aftermath of the day he killed Snoke.
He had been moving quickly, using Snoke's ship to bring him to the Finalizer. Word had spread very quickly and there had been panic in the ranks. He had had to use his considerable power on numerous occasions to both build confidence and sow fear. Just as the panic had moved from ship to ship, so did the knowledge that the new Supreme Leader was even more powerful than Snoke.
Rey had not deigned to respond to him and he had been very worried about her injury. He had also wanted to inform her himself of what had transpired. But she hadn't allowed it so he had been left to stew in his concern.
Kylo had also needed her in a way he'd not felt before. It had been a quiet sort of need, to speak of the monumental shift that had taken place within him. He hadn't been afraid, exactly, but his entire life had turned in an afternoon. He had always had a master before, and suddenly he had none. He had planned for the day when he would helm the First Order, but to be there … it had left him rudderless and he had wanted so desperately to feel the centering presence of Rey.
A few days after Snoke's death had found him thankfully alone when Rey had learned of the changes in the First Order.
"Supreme Leader?!" had come screaming into his head. He had had to brace himself against his desk as Rey's fury had coursed through him.
"You are clearly recovered from your injury."
"You are the Supreme Leader?" He had been a bit offended by the incredulity in her tone.
"I told you that things had changed."
"You killed Snoke?" she had sputtered in disbelief.
"He was threatening you," he had said softly.
"The attack on Lytonn, that really was in order to kill me?" she had said.
"I do not make a habit of lying to you, Rey."
She was quiet for quite some time before saying, "You actually killed your master because of me?"
"Yes. And I would do it again, happily."
"Oh." There had been a very long silence. He had almost wondered if she had gone, but he had still felt her blazing presence through the Bond.
"You are … you are well? I was unsure and you wouldn't respond to me." He had been reaching out every night since Snoke's death, hoping she would speak to him.
"Yes, I'm fine," she had said shortly.
"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear it."
"Stop, don't. Don't talk like that."
"Like what?" He had been confused.
"Like … like I matter to you, like we're friends. Like you're normal."
"Rey … I have not hidden my wishes or my feelings from you."
"Well I wish you would."
"You are the one who contacted me, I might remind you." Her rejection had hurt. He still hasn't grown used to it.
"Only because you … you …"
"Yes?"
"You killed Snoke!"
"I did. It was the only way to save you."
"That means … that means you lead the First Order—you really do." She had said that as if she hadn't believed it until just that moment.
"Yes, Rey."
"You could stop the war …" Her tone had been full of possibility.
"No. That I will not do." Kylo had realized that he would do anything for her—anything but that. He had come too far, done too much to turn back now. Once she understood, all would be well.
"Why not? You could change everything!" Rey had exclaimed hopefully.
"Rey, no. You don't understand. You don't know what sort of people you're with."
"Stop, no. I can't believe you! You are a murderer and a torturer—you don't get to say a word about what 'sort of people' I'm with."
"If you'd only let me explain-"
"Uh uh, I'm not letting you spout First Order propaganda at me." He had tried to explain himself to her before, to explain what he wanted for the galaxy, but she never let him speak.
"Rey, no, just listen-"
"No, I'm leaving."
"Please, please, I've needed you so much." He had been hoping for this contact and had been unable to face her absence again.
"I don't care. You have no claim to on me."
"I beg to differ."
"Well, keep on begging." That had hurt his pride because they both had known that he did beg, frequently.
"You know that you will not be able to hide from me now." He had seen it so clearly, how the path to Rey had been cleared by the end of Snoke.
"What do you mean?" she had said fearfully.
"I have the entire First Order at my disposal—I will find you."
"You haven't found me yet," she had taunted.
"That was before I could focus entirely on seeking you." That had frightened her. He hadn't meant to frighten her but, as he had said, he did not make a habit of lying to her.
"Please don't; please leave me be." Her defiance had left her and she had been the one to plead.
"You know that I cannot do that. You know that I will not do that. I will never rest until I have you with me."
"No! Just let me go."
"I am coming for you, Rey," he had promised.
"You really are a monster, aren't you?" she had said sadly as he had felt her side of the Bond close.
He had sat heavily, his mind swirling with plans.
He had thought he would have her within weeks.
It has now been over three months. He hopes that Hux is right—that they're close to finding the main Resistance base.
Wylan Ren has finally arrived and is now standing in Kylo's office, stiff and uncomfortable. Kylo does not invite him to sit.
"You have certainly taken your time in responding to my command," Kylo says coolly.
"We were unavoidably detained. Shenden is not a very … metropolitan world. It took quite some time to fix the ship." Wylan's tone is cautious.
"And you did not have anything to do with that?"
"I admit I was not particularly motivated, but I took no action." Kylo senses no deception from his Knight. Perhaps it simply was an unfortunate coincidence.
"And now that you are here, I trust I will not need to assist you in finding the proper motivation?" Kylo warns.
"No Supreme Leader. I remember well your visit to the Dominion."
"Good." Kylo sits back in his chair and regards Wylan Ren. He finds his Knight properly subdued. "I have gathered you all here because we will soon have the location of the main Resistance base and therefore Skywalker."
Wylan Ren simply nods firmly once to show his understanding.
"We will end the Jedi threat once and for all," Kylo says.
"As you say, Supreme Leader." Wylan had joined the Knights of Ren because he had wanted power. It is a motivation that Kylo can understand. Kylo is not concerned that Wylan will shy from eradicating the last of the duplicitous Jedi.
"You are excused."
"Yes, Supreme Leader."
Kylo watches as Wylan Ren takes his leave. He still doesn't like him. Wylan has always been arrogant and jealous of Kylo's birthright.
Wylan is an orphan and had been begging on the streets of some planet Kylo could not recall when Luke Skywalker had found him. Wylan had taunted Kylo when they were boys, always suggesting that Kylo did not deserve to be the primary apprentice of Luke Skywalker. Their rivalry had often caused bloodshed, and Kylo knows that Wylan, more than any of his Knights, had followed Snoke and not him. He will always have to watch his back with Wylan. He is almost as powerful as Jashad, but his covetous nature always stands in his way.
Kylo is in his quarters when his comm goes off.
"Supreme Leader?"
"What is it, Hux?"
"We have a verified location of the main base of the Resistance." Kylo feels the excitement race up his spine. He will have another chance at Rey!
"And you are certain?" Kylo asks eagerly.
"Completely, the base is on Ilaria." Ilaria … a world known for its ferocious storms. Kylo thinks she likely enjoys the rain.
"Alert any ships within two days of Ilaria and have them on standby."
"Yes, sir."
"Have we any word from Demyan Ren and Vitok Ren?" They have been orbiting Coruscant for three days and he's eager to get under way to Ilaria.
"No word yet, Supreme Leader." Kylo is frustrated by this news.
"Contact them and put them through to me immediately."
"Yes, Supreme Leader."
He pulls up Ilaria on his datapad and begins to research. It is a day from Coruscant, well populated on the main continent. It is a peaceful planet where slavery is illegal, so it has not been a primary target of the First Order.
His comm chirps again. "Supreme Leader." He hears Vitok's alto voice come through the device. Kylo is not surprised that Demyan is still avoiding speaking with him.
"Vitok Ren. Tell me of your progress?"
"We have a new lead on Sylten Qree. He has fled Coruscant but we have it on very good authority that he's en route to Vren. Orders?"
Kylo is conflicted. He would like to send them straight to Vren but he wants all of his Knights with him on Ilaria. Rey is far more important, so he says, "You and Demyan will return to the Finalizer at once, Vitok Ren."
"Yes, Supreme Leader."
Kylo stands and looks out on Coruscant as they slowly orbit, watching the planet go by. If Rey is still with Leia Organa, he is certain that he will find her this time. He has his Knights at his back and the entire First Order fleet at his disposal. He will not fail this time.
He goes to her quarters; he's almost giddy with anticipation. It has been so long since he's seen her. He notes that many of the plants have changed since his last visit. He has instructed that they continually bring in new blooms and green things. He wants her to always have a variety to enjoy.
He wanders into the small training room he has arranged for her. He does not want her to cease practicing her Force skills once she is with him. It is bright and airy, and it almost feels like one of the meditation rooms from his Academy days. He believes she'll prefer the open space and light. He doesn't think she would enjoy the cold starkness of his own training room. Besides, he knows she needs her own place; he will not force her to train with him until she is ready.
That is a thought he likes very much. He looks forward to sparring with her, finding how she has grown since Starkiller. He hopes that her powers have grown as his have. It had excited him to cross sabers with her, and he has thought of that day more than once when he gives in.
He imagines her practicing lightsaber forms while he stands watching her strong, athletic body twist and move. Oh, how glorious it will be when their blood is up and he takes her against the training room wall.
He scowls as he remembers how long she had made him wait before she spoke with him again after she had discovered he was Supreme Leader. She had ignored him for over a month and it had nearly killed him. He had recklessly led several missions during that time, needing to feel his saber cut into flesh to excise his desperate craving. Hux had been nearly apoplectic.
Kylo had thrown himself against her walls whenever he had been alone. He had been relentless in his need. Finally, finally she had responded.
"Please stop—I can't take this any longer!" she had pled with him.
"Rey!" The relief had moved through his whole body; the sensation had been almost physical.
"You have to leave me alone."
"I can't, you know I can't."
"Yes, you can! You don't have to batter against me like this, every single morning, day, and night. It's exhausting."
"No more exhausting than forcing me to do it," he had said testily.
"I don't force you to do anything!" she had spat.
"Oh, but you do. I won't be denied Rey—not any longer."
"What can I do to get you to just leave me alone!" Rey had begged.
"Nothing. I will never leave you alone. Even once you are with me, I will never leave you be. You won't want me to."
"You are deluded," she had scoffed.
"No Rey, you are the one who lies to yourself. This Bond cannot be ignored."
"I've been managing just fine, thank you."
"Have you?" He had been fairly certain that she had given in because she had needed him, too.
Rey had been quiet then.
"You could leave the First Order and come to me?" she had asked in a small voice. Kylo had rejected the idea immediately. He would finish what Grandfather had started and he would do it with her by his side.
"No Rey, that's not possible," he had said as gently as he could.
"Why not?"
"The Resistance has filled your head with falsehoods. They are nothing but liars and thieves, devoted to a decadent and corrupt cause," he had said with disdain.
"Well that's not true." He had almost been able to see her eyes rolling.
"And how would you know? What do you really know of the galaxy, Rey? I have been in your head, I know what your life was. Why do you think you can trust them?" he had pointed out.
"Because they've been kind and good to me!"
"I would be so good to you," he had very nearly crooned.
"You aren't capable of goodness," she had replied coldly.
"For you I am. I will give you everything, Rey."
"You say that, but if that was really true then you would leave the First Order behind."
"You don't understand; you aren't seeing clearly." He had been growing frustrated.
"You're the one who isn't seeing clearly! Can't you see what you've become? How lost you are? I know who you used to be, Leia has told me-"
"Do not speak of her!" Kylo had demanded.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Her tone had been full of warning. He had backed off, terrified she would go.
"Alright, Rey … alright. Just … please. It's been so very long. Let's talk of something else."
"I don't want to talk with you. I want you to leave me alone!"
"Everything will be right when you are with me," he had said with conviction.
"I won't ever be with you."
"I will find you—you know I will."
"Does it even matter to you that I don't want to be found?"
"That's only because they've twisted your thinking. If you would only let me explain why I have done the things I have-"
"Don't even think about starting up with that again. There is no explanation for the murder of billions," Rey had interrupted.
"I never did that."
"Well, your precious First Order certainly did," Rey had said with scorn.
"Snoke was wrong to do that." Kylo had never thought that the destruction of the Hosnian system had been necessary.
"You … you really believe that?" she had said in confusion.
"Yes, I do."
She had been quiet again before saying, "Well, I still watched as you butchered your own father. Nothing justifies that. There is nothing you could ever say that makes that anything other than reprehensible."
"I had to." He had spoken without thinking.
"That's ridiculous. No one had a blaster pointed at your head," Rey had said incredulously.
"I had to do something to make it stop!"
"Make what stop?"
"No, I'm not talking about this." Kylo had known that he shouldn't, couldn't talk about that.
"Please tell me?"
"No, Rey. Perhaps one day, when you are with me, but not now," he had said regretfully.
"I wish …" she had said softly.
"What, what do you wish? I will do all in my power to grant it."
"You can't," she had said so sadly. To this day, he still wants to know what it is that she had wished.
"Won't you let me try? I will always take care of you; I will always be true."
"I don't need to be taken care of. I take care of myself."
"But wouldn't you like to not have to? Let me stand between you and your pain; let me end your loneliness. Together we will be whole," he had said passionately.
"You think you know me ..." she had nearly whispered.
"I do know you, I saw your whole life that day on Starkiller."
"And yet you still have no idea who I am." Rey had sounded wistful.
"That's not true." Kylo had been certain that no one knew his beloved like he did.
"I know you'll just tell yourself whatever you need to in order to believe that. I know that there's nothing I can say to make you understand. You're so lost in the Dark you can't see anything, can you?"
"I see perfectly—it is you that refuses to see." He had been growing defensive at her pity.
"Circles, it's always circles. I'm tired of this; tired of you. Please just leave me alone!"
"I'm tired, too, Rey. Tired of this constant pull; this constant aching. Once we are together it will stop."
"I don't know what you're talking about," she had said imperiously.
"Don't lie to me!" he had bellowed into the Bond. He had needed her to acknowledge what was between them, needed to know that he wasn't alone. He had needed her to acknowledge that he was there.
"Don't yell at me!"
"Please, please Rey, you must end this torment—you don't know what it's doing to me!"
"I don't care! I'm leaving."
"No, Maker, no … Just stay, stay with me," he had resorted to begging. She always makes him beg.
"I've stayed far too long as it is. I never should have given in. I should have stayed strong." She had pulled away so quickly it had left him gasping. He had been horrified to feel his eyes sting with tears.
He pulls himself from his memories, his elation of earlier gone. He knows he shouldn't dwell on how she brings him to his knees, but somehow he can't seem to stop.
Thank you to my stellar beta Meaghan M/Juulna who will even listen to me stress about writing while she's running errands. She's always got my back.
Thank you to everyone who is reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing! I so enjoy reading your thoughts.
Come say 'hi' on tumblr, perrydowning.