CHAPTER TEN

Over the next couple of weeks, Hyper moved in. Toon Patrol had a mommy and it was hysterical. It's not like Hyper was trying to take over Smart Ass's leadership, but she cared about the boys. And that was enough to drive all of the others (except for Psycho, who was already there) crazy.

Besides the sheer pleasure of seeing Smart Ass's head nearly explode every time Hyper showed up, I got a friend from this experience. Every morning, Hyper got up extra early to make breakfast for the seven of us (seven including Hyper and me). And every morning, she'd wake me up "accidentally" so I could help out and we could talk.

"So what'll it be this mornin'?" I asked as Hyper and I walked into the kitchen. She tied an apron around her waist and I plopped myself in one of the chairs.

"Cinnimon pancakes," Hyper grinned. I licked my chops.

"Sounds delicious," I said. "Whadda we start with?"

"Go get me some eggs and milk from the fridge," Hyper ordered. I tipped the brim of my hat and went to do as I was told. When I returned, I plunked the stuff on the counter. "Thank you," she chirped.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Not wanting it to wake up any of the guys, I snatched it from its cradle and held it to my ears.

"Mornin'," I smiled. "Toon Patrol headquarters. What can I do ya for?"

"Twink?" asked a familiar voice on the other end. "Twink, is that you?" I slid a kitchen chair over to the wall and sat down hurriedly.

"Holy Spumoni!" I exclaimed. "Jessica? I haven't seen hide nor hair of ya since I quit the Ink 'n Paint act."

"Who is it?" Hyper asked in a hushed voice. I looked over at her and mouthed the words "Jessica Rabbit." Hyper's eyes widened and she nodded before going back to her pancake batter.

"So what's wrong, Jess?" I questioned, leaning back in the chair. "Ya sound a bit scared."

"I'm so worried, Twink," Jessica sobbed. "They think Rodger killed Marvin Acme! My honey bunny's never killed anyone! I was hoping the Toon Patrol could sort this out."

"Marvin Acme's been knocked off?" I gasped in disbelief. At that precise moment, Smart Ass flung the kitchen door open. The door smacked against the wall and Smart Ass looked so out of it he could jump and strangle anyone who made him mad and then never remember it. "Jess, I gotta go. I'll letcha know if anythin' turns up." I hung up the phone. "Mornin', sunshine," I teased, plastering a fake grin to my face.

"Who was that?" Smart Ass growled. "And why're ya pickin' up our phone? Ya ain't in the patrol." I did some quick thinking.

"Hyper had her hands in the dough," I shrugged. "She needed me to pick it up for 'er." Smart Ass looked like he didn't believe any of this, but he let it slide. He slid himself into another kitchen chair and propped his feet on the table.

"Marvin Acme's been rubbed out," he said nonchalantly, tipping his hat over his eyes.

"I know," I said before I could think. I smacked my paws to my mouth, hoping he didn't hear me confess.

"Ha!" he shouted. He jumped out of his chair and grabbed my shoulders. "How did ya know?" His eyes were blazing with fury. I struggled to get free, but he had taken me by surprise and his grip was too strong.

"It was Jessica Rabbit on the phone," I confessed. "She told me."

"Did she tell ya about how she's married to a criminal?" Smart Ass snapped. I struggled again because he spat on me, but I still had no luck.

"Rodger'd never kill anyone," I growled.

"How do ya know that?" Smart Ass questioned. He backed me into the wall and shoved me against it.

"Hey, cut that out!" Hyper scolded. "You and your violence, Smart Ass. Really. Can't we all just get along? Now let Twink go." Smart Ass ignored her. "Let her GO!" Hyper smacked Smart Ass over the head with a wooden spoon.

"YEOW!" Smart Ass squealed. "Okay, okay!" He let go of me and I massaged my shoulders.

"I know because I met Rodger before," I admitted. "Jessica Rabbit has been one of my best gal pals ever since we was small." Smart Ass gestured for me to sit down and spill the beans. I decided there was no way out. "I was the maid of honor at Jess's wedding."

"How would she know ya?" Smart Ass asked. "Why would Jessica Rabbit be involved with a sticky-ears?"

"Ya don't know everythin' 'bout me, Smarty," I growled. "I don't need ta tell ya all this if I don't wanna. But, I'm tellin' ya, so stop interruptin'." Smart Ass sat back and shut up. "Anyways," I sighed, continuing with my story. "When I was 'bout eight, my mom and dad deserted me. Left me high an' dry. They didn't care 'bout me no more. I was too much of a burden. So they left."

"Poor sweetheart," Hyper cooed, putting her arm around me.

"I needed ta get some cash so I could keep myself alive, so I started workin' at the Ink 'n Paint with Jessica and the others. We was phenomenal. Human bein's came from miles around ta see us gals. We was known as the Ink 'n Paint Trio: me, Jessica, and some ditzy rabbit dame named Lola. I think she ended up goin' out with Bugs Bunny."

"The Bugs Bunny?" Hyper interrupted, a glimmer in her eyes.

"Yeah," I smiled. "He used ta come see our shows all the time. Anyways, that's how Jess got sweet on rabbits. For a while, everythin' was peachy. I met all the greats, both toon and human."

"Why'd ya leave?" Smart Ass inquired. He seemed suddenly interested in my story, as if this was a fairy tale instead of my life we were talking about.

"I was gettin' ta that," I scowled. "After a while, the group started fallin' apart. We were still performin' and everythin', but the gals got boyfriends. Jessica started seein' Rodger and Lola started datin' with Bugs every weekend. I was left alone, again. One night, I was asked ta fill in for Betty Boop because she was out shootin' a cameo picture. So, I was sellin' cigarettes instead of singin' up on the bandstand. There was this guy who asked me to find out somethin' about his girlfriend. He thought she was cheatin' on 'im. He was gonna pay me and I had nothin' ta do on a Saturday night. So I took the job."

"So that's why you started spying," Hyper said, now understanding my motives for being an informant.

"I found out that the dame was cheatin' on the fella, so I told 'im, he paid me, then he dumped 'er. He told me I had a good ear for hearin' things I ain't supposed ta. I figured since I wasn't goin' very far with the actin' career, I'd go for the spying. It paid better too. So I dumped the old job at the Ink 'n Paint, left all my friends, and…here I am." I spread my arms out to indicate the grimy kitchen. "Looks like that did me a fat lotta good," I sighed.

Hyper walked over and gave me a hug. It was awkward and I blinked several times, biting my lower lip.

Smart Ass walked towards me and ushered Hyper away from him. He pulled up a chair to face me and sat down with a lot of force.

"Ya can cry if ya want. We won't tell no one." I gave him a hard look. "What?" he asked.

"What makes ya think that I'm gonna cry about this?" I asked. "It's in the past."

"Cuz," he shrugged. "Yer…"

"Because I'm a dame?" I stood up from my chair and stared down into his face. "I don't cry, Smart Ass. It's not something I do."