/AN/

Hi. I've been sick the last two weeks and haven't touched this site in that long. I'm very sorry about that.

I've started feeling a lot better the last few days, and yesterday I got my second tattoo! So I figured now is a good time to come back and treat everyone to a new Lilac chapter

WARNINGS: Suicide. Cause I should let you know when this stuff comes up. Technically, if suicide bothers you, you could skip the chapter. There will be references to it, and some recap, in the next. But it won't be right there and in your face. Maybe I'm just being sensitive today. That's not a bad thing.

I hope you're all doing well. You mean a lot to me, you really do. Thank you for all of your support.

Lilac had woken up in strange, new places before. She was a slave. It happened. But this time was far more disappointing than any other. This time, she had almost been free.

She'd seen the firing squad aiming at her. She'd felt the sweet release of death as her vision went black and she fell. There was no pain, but she was certain she'd died.

She stared at the blank white ceiling, angry at how unlucky she was. After everything she'd been put through, she was ready for her life to end. She was ready for death. Still, she had the poor fortune of not being killed at point-blank by four stormtroopers. How many people could say they survived something like that?

Lilac lifted her head and looked around the room. It was a small room in a med-bay, furnished with a single bed and two chairs. On shelves and in containers sat medical supplies from bandages to scalpels and scrubs. There was a single clipboard nearby, but no one had ever taught her to read the odd symbols.

Lilac was wearing more clothes than she could ever remember having. She had shorts on that nearly covered her knees, and a wrapped shirt that covered her entire torso with sleeves to her elbows. The fabric was light and gauzy, but it wasn't as bad as the tiny bikini's she'd worn as her slave outfit. It wasn't purple either.

The scrubs she had been dressed in were stark white to match the rest of the room. The entire room looked carefully scrubbed and sanitized. The bed she was laid on had fresh sheets. Even the single viewport was so clear she had to look twice to see that she wasn't laid bare to the elements of space.

Lilac stood up, flinching at the sharp pain in her feet. She looked down and saw thick bandages covering them. She started from her toes, her eyes taking in her body fully. She checked for other bandages and injuries. There were a few bruises from where the bouncer had held on to her.

Her fingers lingered on her head. Her hair hadn't been cut more than a few inches in several years. Clients liked her long, purple hair. It was thick and wavy, just the way Gam wanted it. It was a pain to care for, but mostly someone else did it for her. It just sat against her back limply as another piece of decoration for her cheap body.

Someone had not only cut her signature hair, but they'd shaved every strand from the top of her head. She couldn't see her bare scalp, but she could feel the difference under the bandage. She could just barely remember Gam hitting her over the head, which she assumed led to the bandage. He'd done more damage than she would have expected from him.

"Bald?" Her throat burned. She told herself not to speak, but she was so shocked she repeated it again. "Bald and useless. What is he going to do to me?"

Gam would not be happy about having a bald, broken, suicidal slave. She was the only one he'd grabbed from Club Coast on his way out, and the only one he would have until his finances were recovered. He was almost as unlucky as she was.

"I want to be free." She remembered saying the words to Kylo Ren. Every syllable held more meaning in it than her miserable life had in all of her years. Freedom. Her ultimate goal. One of the many things she would never have.

Lilac took two steps, a pained scream locked in her throat. Not only did the movement burn her feet with white-hot pain, but the pain from her head wound nearly blinded her. The lights were twice as bright, and the blackness of space through the viewport was consuming.

She'd been brought onto a ship and taken from the planet she'd called home for several years. It wasn't a good home, but it was her home. She didn't know anything else after her servitude in Club Coast. Wherever Gam was taking her, it would never be the same.

Except she would still be a slave: his slave.

She stared out at the stars. They were so far away, but any one of them could become her newest cage. Any one could be Gam's next slave den.

Lilac let loose one single tear. Her anger returned to her as soon as the tear dried on her cheek.

"I will not. Be. A slave." She said slowly, her jaw tight. Her hands balled into fists as she turned away from the viewport.

There was no way for her to get off of the ship on her own. No one on a ship that welcomed Gam would help her. She was on her own.

She moved slowly, purposefully, around the room. She checked drawers, tipped over jars, examined every surface. She didn't have many choices. She breathed out, a long, purposeful breath, and grasped a tool in her hand. She kept telling herself she was ready, and that it was okay.

Lilac pushed the bed closer to the viewport and sat on it. She imagined the stars getting closer and closer until she was somewhere completely new. She didn't remember where she was born, but she wished she was there. The only thing she remembered from that place was a large fire, and she hoped that wasn't what it was like all the time.

"It's over. I'm done." She told herself. She wouldn't be a slave anymore. She had one way to be free. One way to take her life into her own hands for once. One last rebellious move.

Lilac lifted the scalpel she'd found. It was so sharp she thought she would cut herself just by looking at it. She held it to her neck. It would be quick and painless. Then she would be free.

Her hand hesitated, and her mind started to doubt the effectiveness of cutting her own throat. She didn't want to screw up and wake up in the same bed but with her hands bound and Gam leering down at her.

Her fingers tightly gripped the scalpel as she dragged it along her left wrist. It stung, but only for a moment. Blood started pouring out of the cut, and it was a welcome warmth over her fingers.

Her left hand had trouble grasping the scalpel. Her fingers were slick with blood, and her entire hand felt limp.

The sharp blade cut across her right wrist just as easily, even with her strength quickly fading.

Blood fell onto the clean sheets and dripped to the tiled floor. Red and black, bright bursts of life and quick replies from her near death, filled her vision.

Lilac decided to look at the stars. She would fade away with her thoughts focused on where she thought her home might be. Somewhere wonderful, she imagined, where her family was waiting. Somewhere that didn't leave her so afraid and hopeless that suicide was her only way out.

Somewhere with a man like Kylo Ren. A man that was passionate and knew exactly what he wanted. A man that had the capacity to be considerate, and the strength of mind not to let a tragic story compel him. A man that was handsome, determined, and strong. A man that respected her freedom as much as he respected his own.

Lilac smiled.

If she'd known Kylo Ren more than just the few minutes they'd shared, perhaps he really would have been the man she'd dreamt of. Perhaps he would have been far greater.

The door behind her opened, and she whipped her head around. Her eyes burned, her skull throbbed from just the action of turning her head. She felt as though she was going to pass out before discovering who it was.

"Lilac?" Kylo Ren, his helmet under his arm, stared at her.

She tried to hide herself. She was clothed up and bald. She felt hideous without all of the effort it usually took to make her appealing to clients. What did he see? She was damaged property, again.

She didn't care why he was there at all. She guessed he was in cahoots with Gam. It didn't matter. She could feel herself letting go. She was losing blood quickly.

Kylo's eyes fell downwards, and widened when he saw the blood. He leaned back into the hallway and shouted for a doctor before running to her side. He grabbed bandages, the helmet dropping to the floor with a loud thud.

"Don't." Lilac said gently as he tried to reach for her arms. "I won't let Gam have me."

She was tired. Her eyelids were heavy. She felt herself drifting on a soft wave, resting away all of the pain she'd experienced.

"Do not fall asleep." Kylo demanded, taking her hands. "Gam is dead. I killed him."

Lilac could hardly hear him. His body was so warm. She leaned into him as he started wrapping her wrists.

"I swear to you, Lilac. Live through this and you will always have your freedom. You will be under my protection. Anything you want, I will give you."

"Why?" Her eyes closed. From somewhere far away she heard med-bay staff rush in. Her head against his chest was all she cared about.

"Because I want to be the one person in the universe that will never give up on you."