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Kabuto toyed with scroll in his hands. The words inside could mean his death or worse if the wrong eyes saw, and perhaps if the right eyes saw it as well. He sighed and tucked the scroll into his pouch. He had nothing but selfish reasons for not sending it.

His head hurt and as he leaned back in his chair he remembered all the reason he had repressed his conscience for most of his life, but when he shut his eyes he could see the person that had awakened it.

When he had first heard about Orochimaru's knew toy he had been sullen. The man had a difficult personality to be around to begin with and he was prone to be even more off color if he had an unbroken pet to stimulate him. So Kabuto had decided to help break in the new pet, drugging him so that his very will was taken from him seemed a good place to start. That was before he had seen the pet, that was before he knew what it felt like to be the pet. Kabuto was entranced by Naruto. Even though he had failed to see anything special in the boy when they had first met and the second meeting had just shown him to have uncanny good luck and more guts than was safe for a human to have.

He sighed taking out the scroll again, Naruto had been so innocent when he'd come here, so pure. And even after being here so long the boy still shown like sunlight in the dark caves. Kabuto didn't know why this was so hard; he'd tried to help the boy escape once before hadn't he?

He stood and paced his lab slowly. That time he hadn't tried to help the boy so much for Naruto's sake but so much as his own sake. He had been desperate to get back at Orochimaru and setting if pet free seemed as good away as any. It should have been perfect. Naruto should have left, Kabuto should have felt triumphant, and his conscience should have stayed where it belonged, asleep. It would have gone right if it hadn't been for Sasuke. A dark smile lit Kabuto's face when he thought of Sasuke and he checked the clock on the wall.

In half an hour the rotten boy would fall very ill, no help form Kabuto of course.

Kabuto shut his eyes again and memories engulfed him. Soft sunlight filled hours in the afternoon filled his mind. Being allowed to spend time with Naruto, how he longed to have the boy in every way know to man, but he couldn't. Orochimaru had inadvertently seen to that. No Kabuto was only allowed to look and gently touch, the sunbeam named Naruto would never belong to him, and never should belong to him.

Those sunlit hours had provided many opportunities for Kabuto to reach out and takewhat he wanted, but he had chosen not to and it exchanged he had gotten so much more. Those few short memories of Naruto curled up next to him to protect himself from the autumn breeze's chill or the way that golden hair felt like the finest of silks.

Kabuto opened his eyes and bit his lip. His resolve hardening. Quickly before he lost his will he performed a set of hand signs and the scroll vanish. He shut his eyes and returned to his chair.

He had found someone to love with all his heart and because of this love he had to let him go.

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