Blazing heat engulfed him; consumed him; devoured him alive even while he fed more coals into the throat of The Dragon. A few coals rattled over the side of the shovel, only half making it into the iron forge. Fire snapped across his back and Kili fell to one knee, his head thrown back as a cry was wrenched past clenched teeth. Sharp nails pierced his shoulder and he was dragged to his feet and slammed against the wall, a second lash doubling him over as blood trickled down his chest.

A Goblin's furious scowl filled his vision and Kili balked in terror as vehement words were spat in his face. The railing dug into his back from behind, his foot slipping on the edge as he was pressed harder against the groaning metal. Claw like appendages closed around his throat; strangling him; clenching every last breath from his aching body. Further hateful words were spoken, the garbled translation lost in a haze of blackness as Kili's eyes rolled back in his head.

Suddenly the railing gave way beneath him and he was left dangling over empty air, clutching feebly at the hands grasping his throat as his feet kicked in vain for purchase. Hoarse cackles goaded his tormentor, who loosened its grip long enough for Kili to draw a ragged breath and cry out as he nearly slipped to his death. Instantly the long fingers clamped tighter, slowly crushing his vocal chords and drawing blood from ten crescent gouges on his neck.

A breathy whine was evoked from Kili and he forced his eyes upwards, straining through the muddled clouds of grey to silently beg for mercy like they wanted him to. Beg, like the worthless cur that he was. Unworthy of their kindness in sparing his life as the Goblin cast him back onto the rutted floor and kicked him in the stomach. Unworthy of their forgiveness as they allotted no further punishment, throwing him against the searing wall of the forge and ordering him back to work.

He did not know what he had done wrong, only that he could not afford to make the same mistake. Kili's hands shook as he grasped the shovel and stumbled back to his place, the blasting heat of The Dragon's Throat once more suffocating him as he struggled to heft another scoop of live coals back into the open flames...

In his arms Kili whimpered softly and arched away, fear twisting his expression as he clutched the blanket in one hand and grasped Fili's knee with the other. Fili sucked in a sharp breath and fought the urge to let his brother go, terrified that he would hurt Kili further if he continued to restrain him. Oin had made it clear that Kili could not released at any moment, however, lest in his delirium he roll into the fire or re-open his wounds with his struggles.

The company had taken turns sitting up beside the feverish Dwarf during the night, holding him down when the nightmares threw him into convulsions or when Oin needed to change the bandages. The constant screams and pitiful mewls for mercy drained on Fili's strength more than the physical pain lingering from his previous fall. He could only hold onto his brother tightly, tears trickling down his cheeks when Kili tried to bash his head against the floor to escape the agony, or when he tore a suture in his back twisting to evade an unseen foe. So explicit was his anguish that Fili could almost feel the whip striking his own back, or the mark of the brand searing into his cheek. He winced when Kili whimpered in hopeless misery and fell silent, longing to turn back time and wipe away the years of his brother's torment.

This is all my fault. Sniffing hard, Fili willed back the tears that filled his eyes and hunched over his brother's limp form. I'm so sorry, Kili. I should have stopped them from taking you away. I should have been braver; stronger; faster.

Did he not care enough, that he had allowed Kili to fall into their clutches without a struggle? Had he not loved his brother enough to be willing to fight to his death so that Kili would be safe? How could he have failed his brother so deeply?

I did this to you, Fili realized, the weight of a hammer striking him to the core as he recognized the empty shell that had once been his lively, adventurous little brother. I let them enslave you; break you; carve away everything you knew until you could no longer recognize me.

His brother had been a slave for almost fifty-five years of his life, all because Fili had failed to protect him.

...

"Come on, Fili!" Kili called, bouncing up on the oaken limb a few times to test its stability. "It's perfectly fine!"

"It's a tree," Fili grumped, folding his arms and refusing to give in to his brother's goading. "What in Middle Earth would possess me to climb that ... that rickety, dead thing that could fall under you at any minute?"

"I'm not going to fall," Kili wrinkled his nose.

Fili snorted and rolled his eyes. You're the one supposed to be scared of heights, Kili, he considered wryly. A pity he had managed to break his brother of that fear. Maybe he should have convinced him that the hayloft was a terrifying place to be stuck after all.

"Come on, Fili," Kili appealed once more, adding a pitiful 'You're ignoring me and now see how sad I am?' look at the end.

Fili could not help a grin and he shook his head, lobbing a pine cone at his little brother and ducking behind the tree before a similar implement could be launched. Kili's eyes widened and he nearly toppled to the ground, his breath leaving him in an 'oof!' as he landed on his stomach and wrapped his arms around the stout limb, scrabbling with one foot for purchase. Fili's heart leaped in his throat and he raced to catch his brother, terrified that Kili might fall on his account. Moss and bark rained down on his face and he grimaced and tossed his hair, glowering up at a cheeky, beaming Kili as the younger regained his footing and dropped a handful of acorns one by one on Fili's head.

"If Mum hadn't said she'd make Balin apprentice me as a scribe if I dragged you back covered in mud one more time, you'd be wallowing in the riverbank right now," Fili muttered, folding his arms and casting his brother a scathing glare. The twinkle in his eyes belayed his threat and Kili only grinned wider, reaching above him to hoist himself onto a higher branch.

Fili shifted nervously, the crawling sensation at the back of his neck aggravating him. Something felt off. Rolling his shoulders to ease the strange anxiety he felt, Fili tucked his hands in his pockets and glanced around. Thorin always said a good tracker paid attentions to his surroundings. Animals should wander freely once they realize playful young Dwarrow indicate no harm toward them. Birds should warble in the trees and insects rattle as they scramble to evade natural predators.

Silence was never an indication that all was well.

Silence meant storms; blizzards in the winter and gales and thunder in the summer. Silence meant that a hunter was close by; a snake or a bear or perhaps even a trapper slinking through the forest. Silence could mean that a fire was slowly approaching downwind, picking up speed faster than the sound of its travel until the entire forest was ablaze and no creature could escape its wrath.

The forest was eerily silent, and Fili cursed softly in Khuzdul as he realized they were nowhere near home.

"You shouldn't say that," Kili reminded softly, his expression concerned as he picked up on his brother's tension. He shifted on his perch and cautiously rose to his feet, shuddering in the light wind and scanning the nearby wood for any signs of disturbance.

A sharp woosh through the air was the only warning before there was a solid 'crack' followed by a piercing scream. Before Fili could move Kili plunged to the earth, falling hard on his right shoulder and arching his back as a second cry was torn from his throat.

"Kili!"

Fili dashed to his brother's side, the blood rushing from his face and leaving him swaying dizzily on his feet. Kili's wide, terrified eyes met his and a weight settled in Fili's chest, horror filling him as he saw the bloodied, jagged metal wrapped around his little brother's legs. What should he do? His mind blanked and Fili was left gaping and scrambling for answers.

'Mahal, Durin, Aulë... Uncle Thorin, what am I supposed to do about this?'

None of his Uncle's teachings had ever prepared Fili for the gruesome sight of the bolas twisted around his brother's legs. Thin wires of metal that had been flayed from the chain links dragged into skin and muscle. Kili was hyperventilating, shock and pain overwhelming him as blood trickled down his legs and soaked into his trousers.

"Fee - Fili? Fili! Fili!"

His panicked screams tore into Fili's heart and he collapsed in a heap beside his brother, pulling Kili into his arms and garbling nonsense as he searched in vain for a means to alleviate his anguish.

"It's okay, Kili, I - I'll get Mum! I'll find Uncle Thorin and - and Oin, and - It's okay, Kili! I've got you! You're going to be all right!"

"Get it off!" Kili wailed, wrenching his legs and shrieking as the metal dug further into his calves. "Get it off, Fili!"

"No - no, hold still, Kili! You - you're only making it worse!" Desperate, Fili wrapped his arms securely around his brother and held him tighter, begging him to stop moving as Kili thrashed to escape.

His please were drowned out Kili's moans as the wounded Dwarf twisted in Fili's grip, howling as the slightest movement aggravated the chains buried into his legs.

"I want Uncle Thorin!" Kili panted, yowling as a fresh wave of agony danced up his legs. It felt as though a writhing nest of snakes had sunk their fangs into his calves, seeping fiery venom into his blood. His legs were surely broken, swollen logs of bubbling, molten blood pieced with fragments of cartilage. Rivers of soldered iron ran through his veins, and over a dozen red hot nails had been driven to the bone before his ankles were lashed together with a welded chain that weighed more than an anvil.

Again Kili screamed, throwing his head against the ground as though the stars pinwheeling his vision could overcome the hammer slamming against his legs over and over. Fili sobbed helplessly and yanked his brother upright, a wave vertigo nearly spiraling Kili into unconsciousness as the movement jostled his injuries.

Suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder and Fili was thrown aside, guttural hoots of laughter filling his ears as Goblins flooded the space between him and his brother. Kili's screams became those of terror and he groped for Fili's hand, crying out as he was torn away from his protector. Goblins thronged them in numbers too great to count, pinning Fili to the earth and grappling his hands behind his back. He could no longer hear Kili, and the thought frightened Fili most of all.

Shouting his brother's name, Fili slammed his foot into the closest Goblin's nose and wrenched one hand free. He yanked his dagger from his boot and waved it sparaticaly, buying himself precious seconds as several Goblins leaped back with shallow slices in their arms or hands. One growled and grasped the blond Dwarf's hair, slamming Fili's face into the ground until his vision swam in a blur of murky green. Another Goblin stamped on his wrist and Fili released his hold on the dagger, panic seizing him as he realized their situation was hopeless.

There were too many of them. He and Kili would die, with no chance of rescue and no one to bury them honorably when the Goblins had killed them. Fili had sneaked out to hear the tales of horror when Mum thought he was in bed, and now he wished he had never heard of the methods used to slay a Goblin's victims Nausea filled him as he realized Kili was also one of their prisoners now, and a silent, incomprehensible plea was tearfully choked out as Fili begged Aulë or Mahal or any of higher beings to let his brother's death be swift and merciful.

Spidery hands grasped his feet and instinctively Fili kicked back, yelping as his forehead was bashed against the ground once more. Fists pounded into his head, arms, back and legs, and he swallowed a sob of frightened pain as a strip of rawhide was lashed around his ankles.

Why could he not have paid better attention to his environment? Why could he not have dragged Kili home the instant the forest stilled, instead of allowing his brother to delay the trip with one more tree that had to be climbed? How could he have failed so terribly? How could he have allowed himself and his brother to be captured by an enemy Fili knew would surely never release them alive?

The thought sent tears coursing down Fili's dirt streaked face. Not for himself did he weep, though the knowledge of the Goblins' cruel intent certainly terrified him, but the majority of his fear lay with the plight of his little brother. Once more Fili begged that somehow Kili would be granted the mercy of a painless death.

A bellow of outrage scattered the Goblins as the glistening sheen of an axe blade sliced through necks and carved through the skulls of those too quick to retreat. Fili dared to lift his eyes, hope filling him as he saw Thorin standing over him, his axe blackened with the blood of his nephew's captors. Thorin's eyes blazed with fury, his expression twisted in hatred as he swung his weapon around to sever the leg of one Goblin which dived to slice the throat of its small prey. The yipping, screeching creatures scattered as Dwalin surged into the fray, his double-headed axe scattering limbs and corpses in a rain of dark blood.

Sensing its inevitable doom yet determining one last, fell stroke for its enemies, a Goblin missing one foot hobbled forward and pulled Fili back, ramming a spear through the back of his leg and yowling in triumph when the young Dwarf screamed. A bloodied shaft of metal pierced through flesh just above the knee, globs of crimson dripping onto the crumpled leaves. Fili thought his leg would melt under the pulsing magma which consumed the limb and he fell limp in the Goblin's hold. Blood filled his mouth when he jammed the tip of his tongue between his teeth, a wordless gurgle erupting from his throat as he began to shriek and holler until his voice was ragged and his mind too fogged to comprehend anything but the agony devouring his leg.

Thorin roared in anger and swung his axe backwards, the dulled end crushing the Goblin's skull from the sheer force of the blow. Dwalin shifted to guard Thorin's back, his axe twirling in flashes of obsidian and silver as he fended off the lingering creatures. Battle cries accompanied his as Bifur and Bofur sprang into the clearing, swords and knives glinting in the afternoon light as the enemy melted before the trio's furious onslaught.

"Fili! Fili, look at me!"

Wrenching his eyes open, Fili met Thorin's frantic gaze, tears filling his stricken, terrified eyes as he begged tremulously, "K-Kili? Did you..."

Thorin paled as he swiveled to see the retreating backs of the Goblin hoard. "Dwalin!" he shouted, swinging Fili into his arms and breathing a short apology at the child's cry of pain.

"Take him to Oin!" Thorin ordered curtly, bundling his nephew into Dwalin's arms. "And see to it that Dis is safe!" He ignored the aghast look on the warrior's face as Dwalin realized he was being told to abandon the younger child in order to save the elder. "Now, Dwalin!"

Grim resolve hardened Dwalin's gaze, filtered by the sheen of betrayal as he realized he was leaving Kili in the Goblin's clutches. Fili struggled against him, screaming as the wound in his leg flared anew.

"No! No, Dwalin, go back!" He gasped for breath, yanking on the elder Dwarf's coat and imploring him to listen. "No! They've got... they've got Kili! Dwalin, go back! Go back!"

His pleas were ignored and Fili crumbled against the warrior, hiccuping cries of pain interspersed with the anguish tearing him to pieces inside. He had lost his little brother. Kili was gone, and it was all his fault.

Through the journey back the words repeated; haunting his dreams as he slipped into darkness when Oin removed the spear from his leg; whispering in cruel tidings when he woke to see Dis hovering frantically above him; mocking him when she ran out with a hopeful sob and Fili fell to the floor, dragging himself to the doorway of his room before Bofur carried him punching and struggling back to his bed, where he collapsed in a fit of hysterical tears as his Mother's scream of denial affirmed the worst.

Kili was dead. Fili would never see his little brother again, and it was no one's fault but his own.

"Fili? Fili, look at me."

With a wretched cry Fili snapped out of his daze, tears filling his eyes as he looked into his Mother's compassionate gaze. With gentle hands she cupped his face and lifted his chin, silently beseeching that he look at her and understand.

"Whatever you are thinking right now, it was not your fault," she whispered. "You rescued your little brother. He is here now, and he is safe. What happened in the past is behind him now."

"I should have been more careful!" Fili choked, squeezing his eyes shut and bending to press his brow against his brother's head. "I should never have let them take him!"

Dis' mouth pressed in a firm line, her eyes filled with empathy as she ran her hand through her eldest son's hair. "The Goblin raids covered most of the ground between the lower villages and the upper region of the Mountains," she corrected softly. "You could never have made it back alone."

Tears glimmered in her own eyes and she swept back Kili's damp bangs, biting her lip as she whispered, "I knew that day that something dreadful was certain to happen." Closing her eyes, Dis shook her head as a shimmering droplet trickled down her cheek. "Call it a premonition or simply a Mother's instinct... Somehow I knew should never allow you two to set off on your own."

"It wasn't your fault," Fili croaked, desperate to remove the self-condemnation from his Mother's tone.

Dis smiled bitterly, her eyes brimming with sorrow. "Do you not believe that Thorin and I blame ourselves every day for what we failed to prevent?" Broken, quiet sobs coursed through her and she ran her hand across Kili's cheek, covering the mark with her palm as tears pattered down on his fevered brow. "Do you not realize that every day I have longed to see my child run through the door so that I may pull him into my arms? Every child I saw was a fresh reminder that my own would never return."

"Don't..." Fili pleaded, the wave of his Mother's grief too much for him to bear.

Dis was lost in her own thoughts, however, her eyes fixated on her youngest's face as she stroked her thumb across his cheek, memorizing every detail. "Every little thing reminded me of Kili," she whispered. "His room... the toys he never picked up that morning... I could not put them away. His ... his jacket lying on the floor beside the fire. That ... that stupid cat I could never get out of the house!"

The weight was too much to bear and she collapsed into Thorin's embrace, clutching her brother's neck and sobbing into his shoulder. Thorin's gaze was distant and forlorn, his own regret drowning him in a sea of remorse even while he comforted his sister. Fili felt as though he was intruding on their grief and he looked away, swallowing hard against the aching lump in his throat as he rode out the tidal wave of sorrow.

Dis might say it was not Fili's fault, but she could not comprehend his loss. She did not see the trauma in Kili's eyes and compare it to the absolute trust of the former days. She did not see his broken, scarred hands and remember a small bow and arrow that had been left in a corner of the room the day the Goblins raided. She did not return to the forest to look upon an old, battle marred tree and remember the blood and the screams as the most precious thing in the world was handed over to the enemy.

She had not seen how frail Kili had become when Fili had found him.

She had not watched him crumble against the tunnel wall in hysterical sobs as he waited for his brother to kill him for his mistakes.

She had not threatened him with a fate worse than death in order to force him to do as he was told.

She had not watched him stumble to the tree, barely able to think past the certainty that he would be tortured and left to die so that his brother could escape with his life.

She had not turned him away as Fili had when Kili clutched his arm for comfort, floundering in his despair and anguish as the the Eagles swept them away.

No, Dis could not possibly understand what Fili was going through. She had no idea what extent of betrayal her "perfect" eldest had fallen to. For all her kind words, Fili was still the one who had allowed Kili to be torn from their lives. He had been careless and ill prepared, and later thoughtless and cruel as the Goblins with his words and deeds. He would not make that mistake in the future; Kili was too fragile to survive another betrayal.

I will never, never lose sight of you again, Fili swore, gently squeezing his brother's hand as though his promise could hold back the nightmares haunting Kili's dreams.

Remorse flooded him anew, for the damage was already too great for Fili to bear. The stricken look in his kid brother's dark eyes had matured to a haunted terror of all that Kili had known, and nothing could abate the fear that governed his life. Fili could not hope to erase the memories or the scars. His brother would never be the same again, and whether or not Dis allowed him to accept his lot, Fili knew he would never forgive himself for what he had done.

A greater part of Fili still wanted to slay every Goblin in the realm of Middle Earth to atone for his crimes, but he could no longer afford to take any chances. No longer could he believe that it mattered little whether he lived or died. Who would take care of Kili if Fili was killed in battle? Who would hold his brother when he was frightened, or calm his anxiety when Oin wanted to see to his wounds? Who would assure Kili that he was not alone; that he was freed of the Goblins' hold forever and no mistakes on his part would ever cause them to throw him away?

His brother needed him here, and Fili swore he would never allow Kili to be taken away. If the Goblins were to claim their own once more, then Fili would fight Thorin back and be kidnapped along with his brother. If Azog was to slay Kili, his sword must first pierce through Fili's own heart. No hurt would come to his brother while Fili was yet alive to prevent it. No one would so much as touch him without a sword piercing through their own neck.

Forgive me, Kili. I'm so, so sorry. He did not know if his brother even remembered the Goblin raid, and if he did, Fili never expected Kili to forgive him for his betrayal. His condemnation would be deserved.

I failed you before, but I promise I will never do so again. Even if you learn to hate me for what was done to you, I will always be there to guard you. Orc and Goblin will regret the day they took you captive, for I will see to it that you have justice for what they did to you.

I promised that no one would ever harm you, and I renew that oath now. I will keep you safe, even if all else is lost and the Mountain burns before us. Not even the Dragon's flames will touch you should we fail - and we will not fail, for we have everything to fight for, now.

Kili murmured in his delirium and Fili pulled him close, wrapping Thorin's cloak more securely around his brother and pillowing his chin on Kili's hair. "I will be here for you... always," he assured. "You will never be alone again."