"Wow. That's... really red."
"Oui."
"Did they just stuff it with peppers? Or is there actual filling?"
"Dunno, chere. Coulda been eit'er way."
"Okay. So let me repeat the rules for you guys." The chipper waiter had a little sadistic gleam in his eyes, "You have to eat the whole thing. At no point in time may you use a napkin or take a drink or you're disqualified. If you can finish it, your meal is free, along with a t-shirt, your picture on the wall of fame, and you get any one item you want off of the menu free-of-charge. Most of the survivors go for ice cream."
"Alright, then." Rogue nods to herself, trying to channel her inner Blob. All gut and no thinking. Remy sent her a challenging little smirk, tucking his napkin into his neckline like a good little Southerner, and she decided to glare in response.
It was on.
DUE TO THE INTENSITY OF THE SPICE, THE AUTHOR HAS REFRAINED FROM WRITING ABOUT IT
"Damn..."
"Did they really just...?"
"Oh shit. That was crazy."
"Daaamn. Her face isn't even red. I can't even handle their normal spice."
Rogue gave the shellshocked waitress a smirk and ordered an entire pie. Because stupid people thought to put entire pies on menus and she could. Remy ordered whatever was the most expensive. It might've been a lobster, but he wasn't paying much attention to anyone or thing that didn't have watery green eyes and skunk-striped hair.
"Will you marry me?"
"You. Are. My. Hero."
The peanut gallery was making Rogue a little claustrophic.
"Y' pretty much de perfect femme aren't y', chere?" Rogue raised an eyebrow at that. Yes, she was used to Remy's blatant come-on's, but she was wary of that look she could see gleaming behind his oh-noes-my-eyes-are-red-let-me-hide-them-in-an-obvious-fashion shades.
"Whaddya mean?" She asked casually, thanking God that she could finally drink some water. Her tongue was burning to the point where all of her tastebuds were numb. She didn't know how red her face was underneath her makeup.
"Y' belle, y' strong, and y' can handle spice dat men have passed out eatin'. Merde, dis stuff even made m' t'roat tingle a bit." The sucker downed a whole chili pepper and his throat tingled a bit. Jerk. "No wonder all dose boys at y' school fawnin' all over you."
"Oh shove off. Ya know Ah ain't got admirers or stupid stuff like that." She folded her arms with what was not a pout and chugged some more water.
He raised an eyebrow and stared.
"What? Stop looking at me!"
"Rogue, y' bein' funny or dense?"
"The fuck are you talking about?"
Remy shook his head.
"Y' ain't been noticin' all de boys hangin' around y' lately?" Hell, even the midget clone was following her around a little closer.
"What boys? Ah've only been hanging with Brotherhood and X-Men boys."
"Pardon while Remy channels his inner gay man, but dose de boys dat be tryin' to wriggles dey slimy little fingers int' y' heart. Specially dat albino batard."
"Now you're being crazy."
"Y' bein' seduced by hormonal teenage mutant boys, alt'ough dey ain't doin' near enough a good a job as me. 'Tleast'choo know Remy interested in you."
She twiddled with her napkin, and a hint of a blush could be seen through her makeup.
"Rogue, y' killin' dis Cajun."
"Aren't ya, you know, just playin' around though?" More twiddling. God, she felt like Kitty.
"Y' ain't somebody t' play wit', Rogue. If I jus' wanted some mutant girl to play around wit', I'd go fo' de redhead. Fuck wit' de golden couple 'n' all dat."
She pictured Jean and Remy together and didn't know whether she felt jealous or amused at the idea.
The waitress approached the table, took one look at Remy, and then turned around again. They could wait for their food.
"I know y'aint got alot of love in y' life, chere, and dat somet'in' de two of us got on our list of common fucked-up-shit. But dat ain't an excuse for not knowin' that I been tryin' to be wit'choo since de first day we met."
"The first day we met you almost blew mah hand off!"
"Would'n'a done nuttin' but singe you wit' the charge I put in it. An' you de one dat distracted me whiles I was on de job. Wasn't supposed t' get close 'n' personal wit' anyone."
"Ah'm supposed to be flattered that you attacked me?"
"Stop tryin' t'avoid the point, chere. Y' ain't some gradeschool girl goin' t'rough puberty. I care about you, so what'choo gon' do about it."
"What can I do about it?"
"Say yo' m' woman."
"Ah ain't nobodies."
"It goes bot' ways, chere. Ain't tryin' t' cage y' or nuttin'." Unless it would keep the albino away.
"I..." am unused to relationships. "Ah need to think. About it."
"Take all de time y' need, Rogue."
Author's Note: Oh dang. However will Pietro recover the points necessary to overpower Remy? Things aren't looking good for him, but he'll make a comeback! The slimy albino bastard always does.
It's short, but between work, school, and writer's block I managed to squeeze this one out.