Chapter 10

Rose locked the door after John left, feeling frustrated and confused. The bizarre thought that she never cooked dinner tonight flashed through her head and she frowned. She wasn't at all hungry, so it didn't matter much. And what had just transpired with John was certainly more important than one missed meal.

She was still aroused. It wasn't as potent as earlier, thank goodness. When John had said there were things they could do that wouldn't end in pregnancy, she had been ready and willing to learn and try everything that was running through his mind. She still was ready, if she was being honest. She loved John, so when the fear of becoming with child was removed, she wanted to share all those things that she had never experienced before with him. She loved him completely and she wanted him to be the one she could trust in her most vulnerable moments, and she wanted him to trust her in the same way.

She was also confused. It seemed as if John's carefully kept control had snapped. While it was a little bit scary to see him so out of control, it was also empowering to know she affected him that way. With a sigh, she headed off to get clean and go to bed. Maybe a good night's sleep would help her lingering adrenaline and swirling thoughts.

Jack frowned as he took in John's appearance. "You look like hell. What happened?"

John couldn't help the smile. "As blunt as always, Harkness."

"Seriously." Jack set his books on John's desk while he waited for the man to finish getting ready to head down to classes. "What happened?"

John scrubbed his hands down his face and flopped heavily into a chair. "Can you make sure Rose gets home safe for me? I usually walk her home after school, but I messed up yesterday and need to find a way to apologize."

Jack's frown deepened. "What did you do?"

"I messed up bad, Jack."

Jack waited for him to elaborate, but sensed this was all he was going to get on the matter. He had been trying to push them apart, but now… Jack grit his teeth. All he could say, was the Doctor better still love Rose when he came back or Jack was going to cause him to regenerate. Again.

"I'll walk her home." Jack pointed a stern finger at John. "Whatever the hell you did, you better make it right."

John couldn't help a smirk. "I thought you didn't want us to be together."

"That was before, when I thought this would only end in heartbreak." He still thought that, but it was too late now. "And I like Rosie. She's good, John."

"I know. Far too good for the likes of me. But for some reason, she loves me and I'm not about to squander that gift." John stood and put on his teaching robes.

A thought occurred to Jack, things that he would have done and he narrowed his eyes at his friend. "You didn't…you know…have relations with another woman, did you?"

John's gaze turned stormy and his voice frosty as he answered. "No. I would never hurt Rose that way. Never."

Jack nodded. "Good."

Rose waited for John at the library. Things may be a little awkward between them at first, but they needed to talk this out and sort through it. It may not be pleasant, but as her mum always told her, 'if those little arguments and uncomfortable situations don't break you, they'll only make you stronger as a couple'.

"Hey, Rosie!" Jack's voice broke into her thoughts and she smiled at him.

"Hello, Mr. Harkness. How are you today?"

Jack sighed. "First of all, please call me Jack," he almost whined at her. "'Mr. Harkness' is way too formal and I've allowed it long enough."

Rose giggled at the whine. "Fine. Jack, then."

The man in question beamed and continued. "Second, I'm here to walk you home today. John said he had something to do, but still wanted to make sure you got home safely."

Rose's stomach churned. Was he running away from her? From this? Was last night just too much for him to handle?

She managed a tremulous smile. "Alright. Thank you, Jack."

He didn't mention the moisture he saw gathering in her eyes – since he saw her trying to hide it – and merely offered his arm. "Anytime, Rosie."

John frantically looked through the shelves in the flower shop that was situated next to the Miller twins' house. He had seen Jack drop Rose off at home just seconds ago and the utter despair etched onto her face broke his heart.

"Did you need help?"

John jumped at the voice and turned to see an older lady approaching him. He couldn't remember at the moment if Lily or Petunia ran the flower shop, but that didn't really matter right now. "I need apology flowers," he admitted.

A tiny smile appeared on the woman's face. "Are these to apologize to a young lady?" She asked with a knowing look.

At John's nod, she sighed. "I have what you need in the greenhouse. The purple hyacinth symbolizes apologies and pleas for forgiveness. But in nature, it only grows in early spring. Is this young lady important – romantically – for you?"

John nodded again. "In that case, I think you'll also need some roses. White for purity, red for love." She turned a conspiratorial smirk his way. "You could just go with red, but the white will make a nice buffer against the purple and pull it all together nicely."

Something within John squirmed at buying roses for Rose, but he pushed it aside. Maybe she'd see humor in it and not cringe as John feared she would. He watched as the flowers were all arranged in the woman's practiced hands – Lily, he suddenly remembered – and had to admit the resulting bouquet was beautiful. He tried not to let on how impressed he was. After all, this woman and her sister had said terrible things about Rose when he stayed with her after Jackie's passing, but they were the only florists in the village.

Bouquet in hand, John made his way over to Rose's house. The door opened and John's heart fell as he saw Rose's red and teary eyes. "Oh, Rose love, I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around her, careful not to get the flowers caught in her hair. He moved himself and Rose further into the house so he could shut the door with his foot. "I'm so sorry."

Rose pulled back after a few seconds. "I thought maybe I scared you away," she croaked around the lump in her throat.

"No, love, no. I just…I feel terrible about pushing you like that last night. I asked Jack to bring you home because I wanted to apologize properly. So, I stopped to get these." He presented the medium-sized bouquet to her and then panicked as her eyes filled with tears again. "Oh, what did I do? How do I make this right? Rose?"

She laughed at his anxiety. "Calm down, John." She gave a watery smile through the new set of tears. "I was already crying, so the happy tears come easier right now. Thank you."

She took the time to compose herself as she placed the flowers in a vase. She moved back into John's arms and cuddled as close as possible. "I wasn't mad at you last night. You didn't need to apologize."

"But, I thought...," he trailed off helplessly and Rose pulled back and led him to the sofa.

"All the things we did last night, I enjoyed." John cocked his eyebrow, giving her a dubious look and she swatted his arm playfully. "I did! I want to experience things with you that I've never wanted before. It's a scary thing to admit that and take that step, but I love you. Yes, things are happening quickly for us. But I also trust you and feel safe with you. If experiencing those things is the next step in our relationship, then I want that, John. I don't want us to end up in a stalemate where we both end up miserable because we won't go forward due to fear." She took a deep breath to gather her courage and locked eyes with the man in front of her. "If I won't get pregnant, then I want to know what you were thinking last night."

John just barely suppressed a shiver at the heat in her gaze. "Are you sure?"

"Will you regret it and run?" she countered.

John leaned forward to cup her cheek and gave her a soft kiss. "I love you, Rose. I could never regret anything good that happens between us. And I won't run."

A soft smile lit her face. "Then I'm sure." She stood and made her way into the kitchen. "But first, I'm starving. And I'm sure you have papers to grade."

John felt glee fill his whole being. He took a seat at the dining table and pulled out the small stack of papers he needed to grade. "Yes, dear."

Rose stuck her tongue out at him as she walked by to grab a pot and then squealed as John grabbed her wrist and yanked her down into his lap. "John! What are you doing?" She stilled as he just cuddled her innocently. She rested her arms on his shoulders and tilted her head to rest her cheek on top of his head. "This is nice."

John squeezed her lightly before tipping his chin up to catch her lips in a sweet kiss. "I love you."

Rose turned slightly so she could wrap her arms more fully around his neck and hug him. "I love you, too."

One more quick kiss and he released her to go back to her cooking. Shy glances and smiles were traded as she cooked and he graded. A new chapter was a little frightening, change always is, but they were ready for it. And both of them were resolved, that after dinner, that new chapter could begin.

Rose and John stood side-by-side, washing and drying the dinner dishes. The activity was familiar and comforting, a nice contrast to the new and unknown territory they were headed into. While they were excited for the upcoming changes, it was still a little nerve-wracking.

As John put the final dish away, Rose internally scolded the both of them. Just because they had decided to allow the relationship to move forward didn't mean they had to force it. If it happened, they could deal with the changes as they came. If it was still a few days before activities heated up to the degree of the night before, that was fine, too.

John was fidgeting with the towel nervously, the cloth twisting and sliding through his fingers. Rose put a hand on his shoulder and he nearly jumped since his thoughts had been so far away. "John? We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. This is a big step for both of us, and I want us both to be ready so we can enjoy it. It isn't just about me and I don't want to force it. If it happens, fine. If it doesn't happen for a few days, fine. I want us both to be comfortable."

John managed a small, relieved smile and grabbed Rose into a hug. "I want to, Rose. So much. But, it's like you said, I don't want it to be forced."

Rose went for cheeky to lighten the mood when he pulled back. "I have to admit, I am curious about what you were mentioning we could do."

John blushed so brightly Rose yanked the towel from his hands and used it to fan him. He coughed a bit and muttered, "When you're friends with Jack, you hear a lot of stories."

Rose laughed. "Why does that not surprise me? He seems like he'd be a bit of a ladies' man."

"He truly is a good person and he'd do anything to help someone. But Jack, as he himself has told you, is not good at romantic relationships. He's very charming and suave, but he wants all ladies to feel special, which leads to jealousy and the end of whatever relationship he was in." He took Rose's hand and led her to the smaller couch in her living room. "For now, could we just sit here? Maybe read something? What I want most in the world right now, is just to hold you."

Rose felt warmth and happiness flood through her chest. "I'd like that, too," she said to John with a shy smile. She made her way over to the bookcase. "What would you like to read? Any favorite authors?"

John came up to stand behind her. He just couldn't stand the thought of not touching her tonight. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, lightly swaying them from side to side as he perused the bookshelves. "I'm a big fan of Shakespeare and Dickens."

Rose pointed to a shelf a little higher up. "We have a lot of Dickens' works."

"Brilliant!" John unwrapped his arms from Rose's waist so he could stand straight to read the titles, but contented himself with rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "Do you have a favorite Dickens' book?"

Rose turned to him with a shocked look on her face. "That's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child!"

Unable to resist, John dropped a chuckling kiss to her cheek. "Okay, we'll pick this way." He put one hand over his eyes and ran the other along the shelf, back and forth and then stopped suddenly. "This one!" He uncovered his eyes and whooped. "Great Expectations!"

Rose giggled. "I love you, you silly man."

As they got back to the couch, John sat and pulled Rose's wrist so that she was sitting partially on his lap and partially in the tiny space between him and the arm rest. He lifted her legs and swung them around so they were tossed across his and then put an arm around her waist, snuggling her close. "This alright?"

Rose took a second to blink in surprise at the sudden movements. Once she processed where she was, she tucked her head into the crook of his neck and shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Perfect."

Rose walked closer to John the closer they got to the church. She kept the memory of being snuggled, safe and content in John's arms the previous evening as a sort of armor. Something she could think about when they were in public and he couldn't hold her properly. She really could use his strength today and was relieved he was adamant about staying with her the whole day.

"Good morning, Miss Tyler. Mr. Tyler." The vicar greeted them. "Are you holding up alright, my dear?"

Rose nodded, half of a trembling smile on her lips.

The vicar nodded and led them into the church. "We'll keep this as easy for you as possible. The only part traditionally expected of you is going to be greeting people as they enter. Or if you prefer, we can have a few church employees greet."

Rose drew in a breath. "I think I can handle greeting everyone."

"After that, you can just have a seat and listen to the rest of the service. At the conclusion, we'll head to the grave site outside and put your mother to rest. We understand this is a terrible time and we'll do what we can to make it easier for you, Miss Tyler."

Tears were starting to gather in Rose's eyes, but she furiously blinked them back. "Thank you."

John was amazed at Rose's strength as they entered her house after the service. She had cried a few times, but it was quiet and short-lived due to her reluctance to show weakness.

After helping Rose out of her coat and removing his own, he pulled her into his arms and she let go. As heaving sobs left her body, he stooped to lift her in a bridal carry and sat on the couch, pulling her into his lap the way they had been situated the day before. "Shh, love. I know. I've got you."

Rose continued to cry into her hands, letting it out as John soothingly rubbed her back and murmured comforts into her ear. "I know how you feel."

Rose's sobs slowed and she looked up at him. John didn't mention his family, gently brushing questions away or changing the subject. "What do you mean?"

John brushed his thumb back and forth over the portion of her skirt covering her knee. He stared at his moving hand as he spoke. "I moved to Farringham after I lost my family. I lived in a very small village called Gallifrey, far away from here. I lived at the school as a teacher, same as it is here. One night, I got word that there was an emergency."

Rose cuddled into his side, squeezing his waist in comfort as his words turned into whispers. Despite having just attended her mother's funeral, she was offering comfort as he talked about his family, and John just fell further in love with her. He hugged her closer for a second, dropped a kiss to her hair, and drew in a ragged breath before continuing.

"By the time I got there, most of the house was already destroyed by the fire. I lost my father, mother, and brother all in one go."

Rose's sobs started again, this time a combination for her and John. "I'm so sorry, John."

"I stayed for a few more years, but when they started building a new home where my family's had been, I just couldn't do it anymore. And then, there's Jack. He and I have been friends for years. He had just broken off a relationship with a young woman and her family was threatening him, so he came to Farringham with me. A brand new start for both of us."

John wrapped his arms firmly around Rose and pulled her closer. "They say things happen for a reason. And even though it hurt and seemed terribly unfair to lose everyone, it set me on the path that led to you. I can't imagine being any happier than I am when I have you with me."

His words just made Rose cry harder and he started to panic. "What did I do?"

Rose began to giggle and cry at the same time. "I'm still sad for you and for me. And then hearing you're happy with me made me happy cry. Blimey, I don't know what to feel right now."

John placed a kiss to her forehead. "Do you want me to make us some lunch?"

"Can I trust you to not juggle the ingredients?"

John looked at her in mock-affront, pleased that he had elicited a smile from her, small though it was. "Rose Tyler! I can make a meal without juggling ingredients."

Rose placed a kiss to his cheek. "Alright, then. You've impressed me with your breakfast skills. Let's see how your lunch stacks up."

Rose had returned to John's lap after a simple, but satisfying lunch. The rest of the day had been spent either continuing to read Great Expectations or just sitting in silence while they each processed their thoughts.

As John got ready to leave – after getting multiple reassurances from Rose that she would be alright – he cupped Rose's cheek and kissed her slowly and softly. "I want to take you somewhere tomorrow."

Rose moved in to place another kiss to his lips, suckling lightly on the pouty bottom one that led her to distraction. "Where?"

John waggled his eyebrows, prompting a giggle from the woman in front of him. "It's a surprise."

"Alright. I'll go to this mystery place you've picked out."

"Goodnight, Rose. I love you."

"Goodnight, John. I love you, too." Rose pulled him in for one more kiss and then sighed as she closed the door and made her way to her room. Today had been less agonizing than she imagined it would have been, and that was due in large part to John's presence. He had a knack for making her feel better and she couldn't wait to see where he planned to take her.