Part 10
Rachel pressed her lips firmly together as she realized her own eyes were becoming moist. This was so hard. How could she ever repair the damage that had been done to Lindsey? Well, it wasn't exactly her job to do that, but how could anyone ever do that? How could she speak words of hope and encouragement to Lindsey when she herself wasn't sure if there was any hope? If Lindsey got sent to prison,… she hardly dared to think that thought through. Prison was hardly the place where Lindsey could find peace for her soul and learn to trust people again. Then again, what had her solicitor told Lindsey that was so upsetting? Had she told her that she didn't stand a chance? Even if that was the truth, how could she say that to someone in such a fragile state? Well, Rachel didn't know. She blinked away the tears in her eyes took a deep breath.
"What did your solicitor say to you?" Maybe asking Lindsey directly was her only option.
Lindsey froze. Her crying became harder. She pressed her hands over her ears and buried her face in her knees. Then her hands dropped to cover her face. She did not want to think about it, but there was no escape.
"It must have been really upsetting." This wasn't a question.
"Maybe it would help you if you talked about it."
Lindsey felt anger rising in her chest. Her hands clenched into fists.
"I don't want to talk about it any more," she said between gritted teeth, emphasizing every single word.
"I respect that", said Rachel. What else could she do? To hell with respecting it, she wasn't getting anywhere. She sighed. Be patient, Rachel, be patient. She checked her phone. 1 new message. Her heart jolted. How are things going? Wish you were here. Rachel hit reply. Going nowhere right now. She hesitated. She wanted to ask him for advice, ask him to tell her what to do, but that wasn't fair. She had gotten herself involved in this mess, she was the one sitting in front of Lindsey's door, how could she expect anyone else to know what to do? Well, that and her reluctance to appear too needy to Chris. God, she was needy. But she didn't have to rub that in his face every chance she got. Last night she had let her defences down more than ever before. That had felt good, but scary at the same time. So she added - Miss you – and pressed send.
"I'm going to get myself a cup of coffee."
Rachel stood up. She needed a break. She did not really fancy coffee, or anything else, but she felt the strong need to do something constructive, other than sitting in front of a locked door, even if it was just boiling water and stirring coffee.
While she was downstairs, she heard Lindsey go to the bathroom again. This time she felt Marion's urge to run upstairs and intercept her in every muscle, but she forced herself to concentrate on the amount of milk she was adding to her coffee, her hands shaking. She didn't want to cheat. Even if fair play hadn't proven to be very successful so far.