Author's Note: Please excuse Ayame's behavior and language in this chapter...let's just say she was rather shocked : )

Chapter 8

Ayame nearly chokes on the water she was sipping on, ungracefully spilling droplets of all over her side of the table but somehow keeping the her dress dry. "Bullshit!" She screams out between her coughs. Ukitake's eyes widen in surprise at her reaction. She knew it was a very unlady like thing to scream out profanities in such a public, and rather fancy, setting, but she couldn't bring herself to believe the man's words. He was her fiance? Yeah right! How could she forget her fiance? And furthermore, how could he leave her lost and helpless(Ayame would never call herself helpless but she supposed that her predicament would appear pretty helpless to the rest of the world) for an entire month!

Once she's able to breath normally she continues. "Look, Jushiro," she says his name maliciously. " That makes no sense, how could I forget my own fiance?! And why did it take you a whole month to find me?! And why did I end up HALF DEAD ON A RIVER BANK! Explain it all to me, Jushiro!"

He had not prepared himself for such an outburst. He knew his story - whether he told the truth or not - would upset Ayame, but forgot to take into account how...vocal she could be. But he deserved this shame...actually he deserved much worse. But he also had to follow through, he'd already gone too far.

"It was just over a month ago(It was nearly a century ago)..." He can't help but let the truth echo in his thoughts. "I...left you at the altar(I left you to fend for district 81 on your own.) I was scared and nervous, it was all happening too fast. My family didn't really approve of our marriage, which only added to my nerves( I was too weak to act against the Gotei 13. I betrayed you because I was scared...because I had no faith that anything else could work.) When you realized that I had...abandoned you, you took it upon yourself to abandon everyone. You disappeared without a word or trace. No one knew where you went. I didn't try to look for you because I was sure you'd never want to see me again.( After it all went down, you decided that fleeing to the world of the living was the best option. When we parted, you told me you never wanted to see me again, so I tried for years to respect your decision. I had no right to act against it.)"

Ukitake watches the torrent of emotions in Ayame's eyes. She looked like she was accepting the story...she still looked angry and upset, but such emotions were perfectly valid in the face of Ukitake's story. Finally she takes a deep breath and says, "So that is why you were so ashamed to face me...how could I have even thought about marrying a coward like you? I'm disappointed in my old self...but you're not done with our story, correct?" Ayame continues to look at him, her voice unwavering and strong. "Continue."

Ukitake couldn't stand lying so blatantly to Ayame, but it amazed him how she was keeping her cool.

"Yes...so as I said earlier, you disappeared. We had no idea of your whereabouts. I thought it'd be best to let you go...after all, a coward and traitor like me didn't deserve you. But I couldn't help myself. Eventually I did look for you. My family told me that it would be useless to file a missing persons report, since you announced at the altar that you were going to run away and never wanted to see me - or anyone invited to the wedding - ever again. So I didn't know where to start. I was aimless…"

"Then how did you find me?"

"It was by chance.( And what an amazingly slim chance it was) I'd been traveling from city to city, searching for you. Then suddenly I found you here, in Karakura Town...working at the supermarket. I didn't know what to do at first...so I just watched you. You looked so happy and content with your life...like you moved on( Like the heavy burden of your past was lifted ). But I hadn't. Even though I hurt you so badly before, I couldn't live with the ache in my own heart after abandoning you. I...needed you. So I chose the selfish route and forced myself back in...that time in the supermarket. And then it seemed you couldn't remember me, but I left a note anyways. A stupid, cheap note and stupid, cheap flowers..."

Ayame was still perfectly calm, even though Ukitake could feel himself breaking down. Was it the lies? Or the hidden truth behind them that were eating at him the most? He couldn't say…

"So...you weren't involved in the accident that made me lose my memories...you had nothing to do with it?" Ukitake nods. "It seems it was also by chance that I lost my memory...and the mystery behind the accident remains unsolved. I guess...I'll talk to Kisuke about it more instead of you. As for everything else…"

Ukitake's heart stops as he braces himself for her answer. He was certain she'd shun him once again, tell him to return from wherever he came from and never show his face to her again. Even if the fabricated story he told was not on the same scale as the real one, it still revealed his cowardice and betrayal. It still showed what kind of man he was. He lowers his head and looks at the tableware, unable to meet Ayame's eyes.

Before she can give her answer the waiter returns with their food. As he silently places their respective meals in front of them, he seems to have caught on to the heavy atmosphere and does his work swiftly. He gives a small smile to them both and asks if they need anything else, and when all he gets is a firm 'no' from Ayame he retreats.

Ukitake watches on as Ayame immediately begins eating. When a few minutes pass by, he concludes that she was either really hungry, or was using this time to think everything over and would give her response once she was done. He follows her lead and begins eating as well. The food was of high quality and quite delicious, but he could not bring himself to appreciate his meal. Not after the wrongs he did Ayame continued to pile up.

When he was only halfway through his meal he hears the loud screech of silverware against a plate and looks up to see that Ayame was completely finished. He's taken aback when she silently reaches for his plate and transfers half of its contents to her empty one, but doesn't resist.

"You said you'd share if I had regrets." She simply states in a dull voice, then wordlessly continues to eat. Ukitake blinks a few times, not sure what to do. Her behavior was strange( not the eating a lot in a short amount of time part, she was always a heavy eater). Ayame was being unusually unresponsive. So Ukitake returns to his plate to eat what remained, not that he had much of an appetite.

Suddenly he hears Ayame clear her throat and his head snaps in her direction. She had once again finished before him, and was now giving him a thoughtful look as she wiped her face and hands clean with a handkerchief. He was frozen in her gaze. Finally she sighs and speaks.

"So you say your family didn't approve of us and you couldn't take the heat, huh? Well, what about my family? What'd they think? And why didn't they come after me?" She questions, but Ukitake could already see the doubt in her eyes. She knew what he was about to say...and this would probably be the hardest lie to deliver...because it was so close to the truth.

After a few moments of hesitation he responds."Your family didn't disapprove...and they didn't come after you because...you don't have one.( Anyone you considered family was killed mercilessly by the members of the Gotei 13...and me.) You've been on your own since long before I met you...I am so sorry, Ayame."

Somewhere inside Ayame knew she was always on her own. It didn't shock her when those words left his mouth...they hurt, but she was prepared. At least she knew she wasn't worrying anyone back at home. Well, not anyone except…

"So you abandoned someone who was already utterly alone...what kind of man are you?" She laughs humorlessly." No wonder I ran away from you! How did I ever fall in love with someone like you…?" She trails off, getting lost in her thoughts again. Ukitake winces at Ayame's words but doesn't protest. He had nothing else to say...this story was as close to the truth as he could make it. It was up to her whether she'd accept him again or not, but he was prepared for the worst. He jumps when Ayame suddenly continues.

"Right...how did I fall in love with someone like you...Not only were you a coward, you were a traitor. You betrayed me and left me alone, and somehow I ended up like this. You knew that the day you faced me again, I'd lash out at you and hate you. You knew that the chances of me accepting you were slim...but you tried anyways. Like I said, you were a coward."

Ukitake was having trouble understanding her words. She hadn't really revealed whether she him accepted or not...and kept saying that he was a coward...but what about now? What did she think of him now? He didn't have to wonder for long.

"It probably took a lot of nerve for you to show your face to me again. It was pretty cheap of you to take advantage of me not remembering anything but overall….also pretty brave. You faced me head on, and I sense honesty and sincerity in you. You truly feel awful for what you did - and you should - but still...you came back to me."

Ukitake couldn't follow her train of thought. It almost sounded like she was forgiving him, but that couldn't be right. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, and Ayame wasn't the type of woman to easily give it. Could this really be the same Ayame from those years ago? It had to be! Then why….?

"Look, I'm not saying I forgive you. I don't. You are awful for leaving a woman at the altar, and weak for not standing up for someone you love." Those words hit Ukitake dead center. "But I don't hate you...because despite how much you knew you didn't deserve my forgiveness, you came back. If I were to recall this story and your sorry butt still hadn't shown yourself, then yes, I'd probably hate you. But you got to me first."

Ukitake makes several incoherent sounds before he can find the words he was looking for. Disbelief in its purest form plagued his features. "B-but why…? You have every reason to hate me! My very existence should make you sick! You-"

Ayame cuts him off. "Stop it, Jushiro. I do have every reason to hate you and the sight of you does make me sick….and a lot of other things too. I'm not saying I'll take you back as a fiance or even a friend, but you were obviously someone important to me or I wouldn't feel this way. Besides...I sort of need you to help me pick up the pieces of my old life again. You know, you're pretty lucky I lost my memories." She gives him a weary smile.

It was odd hearing this phrase from Ayame herself, but he supposed it was true. Even if she were to just use him to try to pick up the fabricated pieces of her old life, it was a position he was far from deserving. But he'd take it, because he was weak. He didn't have the strength to pull away from her like he should have...And even after all the lying, deception and betrayal, he couldn't fight back the happiness and relief that were inching their way into his emotions.

Ayame had accepted his fake story. She was allowing him back in her life, even if just as a tool.

Later that evening

After they were done at the restaurant - which Ukitake gladly paid for - they decided to take a walk around Karakura Town while Ayame threw question after question at Ukitake. She was determined to find out more about her past. He owed her that much.

Apparently they had met in a rather unlikely setting. In the past, Ayame had lived in a rural area of Japan. She knew little about the world outside her fields and limited home, but often ran into city dwellers who visited to get a taste of nature( she supposed ). Ukitake was one such city dweller, and they had met by chance. He became a regular visitor until one day he asked her to join him. She agreed and they'd been inseparable ever since.

She guessed the story made sense. There had to be a reason that everything seemed so foreign to her. There was a certain discomfort she had with the customs of the world around her that she felt didn't stem solely from her losing her memories.

Ukitake seemed a bit more reluctant to share about his past, but eventually opened up. He apparently was a self-made successful investor. Well, successful enough to fully support himself and his many eccentric hobbies. Okay, they weren't that eccentric. Most of them were just sickeningly sweet, like spending time with his siblings, donating presents to needy children, drinking tea, growing bonsai, traveling...rather harmless ones. The ones that did stand out to Ayame were his kendo and martial arts hobbies. Ayame couldn't imagine such a gentle man enjoying fighting...but he did have a certain strength and gracefulness to him.

She didn't realize how late it was getting until they stopped at an empty park near her apartment and she felt a bone-chilling breeze eat at her exposed arms and legs. Ukitake kept offering his jacket to her but she pridefully denied being cold. When he offered this time though, she took it, but told herself that it was because she wanted to see him shiver and not because she was shivering herself.

"So it seems like we have a pretty rich history, huh? You just had to go and ruin it…" She says with mock disappointment, but Ukitake could sense the truth in her words. She was pretending to take it all in lightly, but there was no way this incredible story wasn't affecting her. Ukitake had no response. He was amazed at how well the lies slipped out once he started, how easy it was to bend their real history to the standards of the world of the living, but hoped he wouldn't have to continue for much longer.

Suddenly Ayame turned to face him, an unreadable look in her eyes. " You probably think you don't deserve this, but thank you, Jushiro. You did me wrong, you abandoned me. But then you came back...you let me know that I did once have a home...and it was you. Thank you." Ukitake was further thrown off guard when she suddenly embraces him, clinging on to him like her life depended on it. He confusedly returns it and strains to hear the rest of her words through her sobs.

"I want to hate you, I really do, but I can't see myself doing that. I just...feel so happy that I'm not some blank slate! I'm person with a history...with an origin. Thank you, Jushiro." Finally she pulls back and looks up to him, a strange mixture of sadness and relief in her eyes. As one final tear makes it way down her face, she leans forward and places an innocent kiss on his cheek. Then she steps back and shamelessly uses his jacket sleeves to clean her face.

This night couldn't get any stranger. It was like history was repeating itself, only now in his favor. Once again Ayame was in his arms, sobbing, and placed a kiss on his cheek. Only this time, instead of declaring that she never wanted to see him again...she thanked him. Ukitake wasn't sure what to feel...should he be happy? Or she he feel even more guilty? He wasn't sure… Before he can sort himself out she continues.

"I guess I'll be heading home now. You should get back to wherever it is you're living now, too. I guess you already know where I live...but it'll give me some peace of mind to walk these last few blocks alone, kay? I...hope to see you around." She hands him back his jacket and before he can refuse it, she sprints off. Ukitake would have went after her, but they were quite close to her apartment and he couldn't sense anyone - or anything - in their vicinity. He sighs and questions himself while turning around to find a more secluded area to open up a senkai gate."What have I gotten myself into…?"

He didn't expect a response, especially since he'd already taken note of the lack of people or spirits in his current vicinity, but he certainly got one.

"I agree. What have you gotten yourself into?" Although the voice came from behind him, there was no mistaking its familiar, slightly mocking, slightly sarcastic, and ever mysterious tone. Slowly turning around, he feels the blood drain from his face when his eyes land on a disheveled man in a striped hat.

"It's been a while, Captain Ukitake."