Hey guys, I'm back with a new chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review the previous chapter even though I know it got bumped really quickly D:

Holly O'Hair's Fanfiction Diary

Nine: Dabbling in Darise

Something had definitely happened between Apple and Raven.

Neither Holly, nor anybody else, could be sure precisely what it had been, the problem being that Raven and Apple were each other's roommates. Therefore, there was no nosy roommate to listen in and subsequently reveal the issue in hushed tones in the castleteria. However, the general consensus was that something significant had happened, because now instead of Raven sending hurt looks in Apple's general direction, it was Apple who was following Raven's every movement from across the room with her blue eyes, lower lip caught anxiously between her teeth.

When Briar marched into Apple's dormitory, declaring the whole situation ridiculous, and returned less than five minutes later looking annoyed and muttering under her breath about stupid, stubborn blondes, Holly pretty much resigned herself to not knowing what was going on. If Briar, Apple's self-proclaimed BFFA of more than ten years, couldn't get the truth out of her, then Apple must be truly committed to remaining tight-lipped this time around.

Therefore, she was completely floored when she trudged into her room after a long day of classes and thinking too hard only to find Apple White looking up at her with wide blue eyes from her own bed.

"Hi," Apple said, giving a bashful wave.

"Uh…Apple?" she managed, unable to think of anything more intelligent to say in response to this situation.

"Poppy let me in," Apple said with a weak smile. Her voice instantly set off several alarm bells in Holly's mind. It was much more subdued, and much quieter, than her usual bouncy, boisterous tone. That, and Apple did look very tired. "Sorry, I just wanted to be sure I caught you."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Holly replied out of habit, carefully depositing her bag on the floor before walking over and tentatively taking a seat next to Apple. "What's…what's up?"

Apple blinked, looking at Holly with wide eyes, as if she'd been broken from a trance. "Oh, yes! Well…I was wondering if you could…" She trailed off, her fingers twisting nervously in her lap as she stared down at them. She didn't seem to be able to maintain eye contact for very long. "If you could give me some advice," she finished softly, finally tearing her eyes away from her fingers to meet Holly's gaze.

"M—me?" Holly was even more surprised than she had been by Apple White welcoming her to her own room. If Apple wanted advice, surely she would have gone to Briar? Not only was the future sleeping beauty her best friend, but besides Cupid, Briar seemed to be one of the people that most students turned to for advice-giving in general. Holly, on the other hand, hardly knew Apple. They were friendly acquaintances, at best. "Um...why?"

Holly winced at her own words. There had to have been a better, less rude way to say that. Apple didn't seem to mind, though. The blonde swallowed nervously.

"I thought you might…understand best," she said. "I think…I think I messed up."

"Oh…" Holly really didn't know what to say to this. She could comfort a crying stranger, no problem, but this? This quiet, meek version of Apple White unnerved her.

"With Raven," Apple clarified.

Oh.

OH.

Suddenly Holly was at full attention. If Apple 'messed up' regarding Raven, and she thought Holly would understand better than any of her BFFAs...well, that could only mean one thing. Well, several things, actually, but revolving around the same general meaning. "Okay," Holly said, gently, "how did you mess up?"

At this completely innocent question, Apple flushed redder than Holly's hair. "Well, I…I might have…you know. Kind of…kissed her, a little bit."

Holly blinked. "A little bit?" she repeated. How do you kiss someone 'a little bit'?

Apple's blush deepened. "Maybe a little more than that," she conceded, misinterpreting Holly's disbelief.

Holly's mind was racing, a million thoughts whirring past each other and colliding into an unintelligible mess. The first single thought that made it through the chaos was 'Wow, this is actually happening', followed shortly by the much more excited 'I was right!'. Then she schooled her features, barely restraining the idiotic smile that was threatening to split her face. Apple was clearly upset or conflicted by something—it wouldn't be appropriate to look like a child in a candy shop…

Wait. Apple kissed Raven.

Apple was in Holly's room, looking subdued and asking for advice.

"What…what happened then?" Holly asked, voice full of concern. She scooted closer to Apple and laid her hand tentatively over the girl's forearm. Holly felt Apple relax slightly beneath her touch, and Apple took a deep, shaky breath.

"She looked at me like I'd grown another head," the blonde replied with a sigh. "And then she asked me how long I'd felt this way."

"And how long…had you?" Holly asked, hesitantly, already suspecting the answer.

Apple smiled wanly, her eyes dimmer than usual. The expression brought back startling memories of the time she had read from that book of spells and gone temporarily villainous. Holly realized with a jolt that she'd never seen Apple looking anything less than bright-eyed and energetic. She wondered briefly how tiring it must be to have to be happy all the time. "You'd probably know that better than I would," she replied with a self-deprecating lilt to her voice. "Apparently I've been blinded by my destiny for quite some time."

Holly's eyes widened, and she felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. She'd never meant to imply… "I didn't mean to…that's not what I meant, in my story, I—"

Apple shook her head, waving a hand as if to bat away Holly's frantic words. "No, no, it was nothing to do with you at all," she said. "Well, I guess your story made me actually think about it, but…but I was feeling a little different for a while. I just never stopped to actually question it until I read your story about Raven and me. I guess I've really been caught up in myself, haven't I?"

"Not at all!" Holly replied, sitting up straighter. Then she paused. "Maybe just a little?"

Apple giggled, and Holly felt a weight dissolve from her chest. It seemed that when Apple White was unhappy, the world just seemed a little darker, somehow. But at least she was still herself. "It's okay, I know I have been," she said, tucking a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "I just…I can't believe I didn't even realize I had…feelings…for Raven, until I had it literally spelled out for me."

"Well…are you sure?" Holly asked even as she kicked herself for doing so. She would love to see one of her pairings go canon but…but she would never forgive herself if her writing made someone question themselves and do something they may regret later. "I mean, I know I wrote it but it's still just a story—"

Apple cut her off before she could finish, however. "Don't worry, Holly," she said, flashing just a peek of the smile that had won the hearts of the entire male (and a portion of the female) population of Ever After High. "I thought about that myself, for a long time. But when it came down to it…I had to be honest with myself. Fableous though your stories are, I'd been feeling...differently for Raven for a fairy long time before you ever started your blog."

Holly felt her body sag in relief. "Okay," she said in a calming tone, mainly to calm herself down, "so…how did Raven take it?"

Here, Apple's expression fell slightly, and Holly saw the knuckles of one of her hands turn white as it gripped the other. "Well, after I told her, she just nodded. And then she said she needed to think about some things. She made me look her in the eyes and promise that I wouldn't think she was mad at me before she left to stay with Maddie," here her cherry-red lips curved into a fond smile. "Raven is just so sweet, you know…always concerned about me, always letting me drag her around, and I…" Her lips now turned downward as her incredibly blue eyes filled with tears. "And I'm always dragging her around and trying to convince her that she should be evil when she's fairy obviously anything but. How could she ever want me as a friend, let alone as…as anything more?" Apple's voice broke on the last word, and a hand shot up to cover her mouth, muffling a sob.

Holly felt something stab at her heart, like someone had taken it and jabbed several sharp needles into it. She'd done this. Briar had said it was for the better good, and half the school swore they saw it, but it had been she, Holly, who had ultimately caused so much confusion and heartache for Apple. The fact that Apple truly did have feelings for Raven was little consolation as she watched Apple struggle not to fall apart beside her. "Apple," she said, her own voice heavy with emotion. "You're…you're not always making her do things she doesn't want to do. I mean, maybe at first, but...but you've changed, Apple. I see it. We all do. It's obvious to all of us that you care far more about Raven than your own story. Why do you think my story about you and Raven was so popular?"

Apple muffled another sob into her hand, her exquisite curls falling over her face.

"Come on, Apple," Holly said, scooting closer and ducking down so she could see Apple beneath the curtain of hair. Gently, she reached up and prized Apple's hand away from her mouth. Apple looked down at her, and Holly felt her heart twist just a little more at the look of sorrow and, unmistakably, fear on her beautiful features. She knew exactly what that fear was of. Fear of rejection, of the loss of a precious friend. The fear of not being in control of your own heart for the very first time. "She didn't say no, did she?"

Apple shook her head wordlessly, and sniffled.

"See?" Holly asked, her tone gentle and (she hoped) uplifting. "She said she needs some time to think, so give her time. Trust her. Trust that she'll come back to you, whether as a friend or something more. Trust that she won't abandon you just because you're secretly just as human as everyone else and can't control how your heart feels."

Apple giggled again, then hiccupped.

"I can't promise you she feels the same way," Holly said softly. She wished she could, but even if she had ever been able to get a read on Raven, she would never take the risk that she could be wrong and give Apple false hope. "But I can promise you that she cares about you—fairy much. That's just as obvious to me and everyone else as the fact that you care about her."

Apple sniffed, then dabbed at her eyes. "I'm sorry, Holly," she said, and she truly looked it. "I didn't mean to just fall apart in front of you. Obviously," she giggled, brokenly. "But thank you for…well, for this." She stood up, and Holly did the same, intending to walk her to the door as any proper princess would.

"You don't have to apologize," she replied, instantly. "Or thank me. It was my stupid story that started all this, and even if it wasn't, I hate seeing any of my friends upset."

Apple turned around at the door and shook her head. "I loved your story," she said, her smile genuine. "You're a fairy talented writer, Holly. And I've been thinking, and even if Raven…even if she doesn't…" Apple took a steadying breath, "I'm still glad that I actually know how I feel now, and if it weren't for your story, I don't know if I'd ever have understood why I feel the way I do for Raven, at least not until she was taken from me one way or another. At least this way I have a chance."

Apple grinned her bright, dazzling smile, and Holly was unable to keep a smile off of her own lips. She felt a wave of relief course through her at the return of the Apple they all knew and loved. Things are going to be okay, she thought as Apple gave her a small wave and the door shut behind her, leaving Holly alone in the room.

Feeling lighter than she had in weeks, Holly returned to her bed and flopped down, grabbing her laptop from her bag and beginning to write.

Vaguely, she wondered if all this femslash writing was casting doubts upon her own sexuality. While she was hardly the type to care about what others thought about her (especially when it happened to be right), she decided to try something a little different this time around.

Damsels, Distress and Doubting

Daring Charming's year had been…well, eventful, to say the least.

In the course of less than a year, he'd had his most core beliefs shaken and overturned by events, both small and large, from Cerise Hood proving that girls can be just as physically capable as boys at a bookball game to his own sister stealing away the destiny he'd been prepared for since before he really knew what it meant.

Of course, one of these events was far more traumatic (and emasculating) than the other, but it had all added up to make for one very rotten year for Daring Charming.

He'd taken it all very well, all things considered. He'd accepted his own shortcomings and mistakes with all the grace and gallantry that his father had taught him a prince should always possess. Sure, he'd had his less-than-royal moments, but on the whole, he'd presented a chivalrous, gentlemanly picture one would expect of a Prince Charming.

It was okay, then, if in private, he was a little bit less than okay, wasn't it? If, in the very deepest part of his heart, he resented Darling, just a little bit, for being a better Prince Charming than he was the only time it really counted? It was okay, then, if, when no one was looking, he couldn't stop the tears that fell, unbidden, when he realized that, for the first time in his life, he didn't know who he was meant to be?

"Hey, are you okay?"

Daring blinked and started at the unexpected voice. Instinctively, he rubbed his arm roughly over his eyes, wiping any remaining trace of tears from them before turning to face the intruder.

Cerise. Of course. The first girl who'd ever challenged his previously steadfast beliefs. And now she was watching him, brows furrowed in concern, eyes searching him, making him feel naked and weak beneath their scrutiny.

"Of course I'm alright!" he replied, affecting what he hoped sounded something like his usual pompous tone. "I'm Daring Charming."

"Riiight…" Cerise replied, raising one eyebrow. She sat down on top of the table he was situated at and glanced around at their surroundings appraisingly. "That's why you're all alone in some abandoned corner of the library on a Saturday afternoon, looking like you were just cry—"

"Stop!"

She blinked down at him in mild surprise. He felt his face heat up and turned away, averting his gaze to the wood of the table she was now sitting on. "Don't say it," he said, in a much softer voice. "Please."

He felt Cerise's gaze on him as they sat in silence for a long moment.

"You know, there's nothing to be ashamed of," she finally said. He almost asked her what she was talking about—his pride as a man was on the line, after all—but stopped himself. What was the point?

"A prince does not cry," Daring said quietly, his hand clenching into a fist in his lap, face screwed up in self-deprecation.
"He does if he's had his whole world turned upside down," Cerise replied simply, her voice free of judgement or, Daring was surprised to note, pity. "I think we've had a conversation like this before, haven't we? Girls don't play bookball, right?"

The ghost of a smile lit Daring's face as he finally met her gaze. Part of him wanted to argue the point with her—it wasn't the same—but another part of him was just too tired to bother anymore. "Touche," he said. "What are you doing in the library on a day like this, Cerise?"

She shrugged, tilting her head toward the ceiling as she did so. He felt an odd sensation pass over him as she did so—relief, of course, at being out from under her scrutinizing gaze, but also, far more surprisingly, a vague sense of loss when he could no longer see her silver-gray eyes. "Same thing you are, I guess," she said. "Thinking." Then she turned back to him and smiled roguishly. "Though you'd better not let the rest of the school know you're in here. If you're not careful, they might think you've got some brains behind that pretty face."

Daring chuckled good-naturedly. "I suppose it would rather clash with my image," he replied. Not to mention the fact that he had been crying like a damsel only moments before she had found him… But for some reason, the fact that it had been Cerise to see him in such a state bothered him less than he might have thought.

"Yeah," Cerise began, "but you know something? I don't think there are a whole lot of people here who completely fulfill their 'image'. I mean, Raven's supposed to be the 'Evil Queen', right? But I've never met a bigger softie who was less evil. Sparrow is supposed to be this noble defender of the poor, but...just look at him." She raised both eyebrows in meaning, and Daring had to agree. It was hard to imagine the self-absorbed rocker doing anything for anyone besides himself. "I mean, even Apple doesn't really fit the image of Snow White. She's supposed to be this sweet, docile little thing, and she bounces around like a human battery, clinging to her 'villain' like they're BFFAs."

Daring smiled weakly, though it faded slightly at the mention of Apple White. Cerise regarded him with sympathy written over her features. "You know, it's not like you're never going to have a destiny now," she said after a moment. "You'll just be the hero of another story. Maybe save a different damsel. You're Daring Charming, after all." Cerise gave an exaggerated eye roll, and this time, Daring gave a real smile in return.

Cerise grinned and hopped off the table. "Well, unfortunately, I've actually got to do some studying in here," she said, stretching languidly, fingers interlocked, arms extended over her head. "I'll see you around, Prince Charming."

She was halfway down the aisle when Daring called out to her.

"Cerise!"

She turned, eyebrow raised in question.

Daring scratched at the back of his head, feeling his face heating as he did so. "Um…thank you," he managed, unable to bring himself to meet her eyes. Then he felt a sort of warm breeze, and blinked, looking up at Cerise, who was now right in front of him, wearing that roguish smile once again.

"No need to thank me," she said. "I could never ignore a prince in distress."

And, before he had time to reply, or even feel embarrassed, she had leaned in, and he felt an impossibly soft, but firm pressure against his cheek. Half a second later, it was gone, and Cerise was pulling away, her cheeks just barely dusted with red. Daring stared at her, open-mouthed, as she gave him a final smile and wave before turning her back on him and walking back down the row of books and out of sight.

Slowly, he reached up and touched the place where her lips had met his skin. It felt warmer than the rest of his body, somehow.

Save a different damsel, she'd said.

Maybe the girl he needed wasn't a damsel at all.

Blondie Lockes was never one for spacing out in class. You never knew when a new scoop was going to pop up, after all!

Today, however, her mind was not as sharp as it usually was. Her headspace was not just right, and it was all to do with the question on everybody's mind—was 'Rapple' going to happen?

She spellculated that the outcome would affect a lot more students than just Raven and Apple, not the least of which was Dexter Charming. But that's hexactly where Blondie's concerns lay—not with Raven and Apple themselves, but with Dexter Charming, should Raven and Apple become a legitimate couple. As she doubted very much that a three-way, polyamorous relationship would result (she doubted Apple was the sharing type), the most likely outcome to that outcome was that Dexter Charming would be left heartbroken and single. Which meant that he would not be dating Raven Queen.

Which meant that Cupid could potentially have a chance with him.

Which meant that Blondie's heart would end up more torn and tattered than if it had been caught in a bear trap.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Grimm, why did she have to go falling for her BFFA, who just happened to be, on top of that, her roommate? That was like, journalism rule number one: never fall in love with your interviewee.

Well, something like that, at least. It was the same principle.

And why did that rule exist to begin with? Well…

Blondie glanced over at her unfairly adorable, cotton-candy haired roommate, who was sitting in the seat diagonal to her, hunched over a pink notebook. Ever curious (some might call it nosy, but Blondie disagreed), Blondie craned her neck slightly to see what Cupid was so focused on, and instantly had to fight back the bile that rose in her throat. Mrs. Dexter Charming. Of course.

Blondie sighed laboriously and sunk down in her seat. Unfortunately, her sigh was a lot louder than she had anticipated, and drew the attention of her BFFA. Frowning in concern, Cupid chanced a glance at the teacher before leaning toward Blondie. "Is everything okay?" she whispered, melodic voice filled with such genuine concern that it made Blondie want to fall apart and confess everything in her arms.

But that wouldn't do. So, steeling her resolve, Blondie sat up straighter and gave her BFFA her most convincing smile. "Of course, everything is just right," she whispered back. "Just bored, that's all. You know the feeling, right, Mrs. Dexter Charming?"

Oh, Grimm, she was a masochist.

Cupid flushed a shade darker than her hair, smiling bashfully and winking at Blondie before turning back to the lesson, subtly closing her notebook as she did so.

Blondie's smile faded slowly as she sank back into her chair. It wasn't impossible to act like she was happy for Cupid now that Dexter was looking to be more and more within her reach. Blondie was a naturally cheerful and energetic person—as a journalist and MirrorCast personality, she had to be! But that didn't mean her chest didn't ache when Cupid swooned over the clumsy, younger Prince Charming, or that Cupid's casual, everyday affectionate touches didn't leave her a little bit breathless. She just didn't know what else to do.

She was the best friend. She'd been the best friend long before she'd (dare she think it) fallen for Cupid. She'd been practically grandfathered in to the friend zone, and she knew encouraging Cupid about Dexter was doing absolutely nothing to help her. But if she confessed to Cupid, and Cupid (inevitably) didn't feel the same… Blondie would lose not only the girl she loved, but her best friend as well, all in one go.

She puffed her cheeks out and doodled aimlessly on the half-assed page of notes she'd been working on. That was the thing about falling for your best friend. There was no in-between, no time to get used to anything. There was no 'crush phase' and no 'more-than-friends' phase. She'd fallen for her best friend long before she had any idea she felt anything more than friendship for her. How could she not?

Even tabling the fact that her BFFA was the literal embodiment of love itself, Blondie couldn't see how anyone in her position could possibly not have fallen for Cupid. Cupid was impossibly sweet, incredibly loyal and selfless to a fault, forever swallowing her own pride and feelings for the sake of others, particularly in the matter of 'Dexven' (as it had been unanimously dubbed by the student body at large). Cupid was also incredibly affectionate, something Blondie selfishly reveled in despite the fact that she knew the right thing to do would be to pull away or confess how she felt. Blondie had long-since accepted the fact that some people had incredible willpower, and that she was not one of those people, particularly when it came to Cupid. And how could anyone blame her? She practically lived for Cupid's hugs—warm, tight, and candy-scented, not at all like those weak, flimsy hugs other girls gave each other.

And that wasn't even touching on her looks…

Ding-dong-ding-dong. Ding-dong-ding-dong.

Blondie blinked. Had class already ended?

"Blondie?"

"Huh? Oh!"

Blondie bounced up and grabbed her bag, quickly stuffing her books into it, not really caring if anything got bent. Cupid was watching her with that same concerned expression, and the last thing Blondie wanted was to make her BFFA worry over her.

"Sorry, I was thinking about my next MirrorCast!"

It was a blatant lie, and Blondie might have felt bad about it, had she thought that Cupid actually believed her. She could tell that her Greek goddess of a best friend didn't buy that hexcuse for a second, though, judging from the way Cupid's eyebrows furrowed just the slightest bit as she regarded Blondie. But she didn't question Blondie any further, which was really what she had been aiming for to begin with.

"Oh, I see…that reminds me, I loved your MirrorCast with Holly O'Hair!" Cupid complimented, quickly covering up her concern with a smile as the two girls exited the classroom. She effortlessly locked her arm around Blondie's, who accepted the gesture with practiced grace. Inside, however, the blonde's heart raced mutinously. "I was thinking of getting her on my show as well! You know, for an inside look at how she's influencing romance at school."

"That's a spelltacular idea!" Blondie gushed, excited at the thought of getting the inside scoop. Her arm tightened unconsciously around Cupid's in her excitement as she whirled around to meet her eyes, and Cupid giggled at how cute the energetic reporter was when she got into her element. "Really! I want to know how she's turning everything on its head with her writing! Plus, if you have her on your show, maybe she'll give advice—" Blondie stopped herself, blushing hard.

Cupid raised an eyebrow, a confused half smile playing on her lips. "Advice?" she asked, eyeing her friend. "Do you have your eye on someone, Blondie?"

"What? No, of course not!" Blondie replied, her voice an octave higher than usual. Then she cleared her throat and faced forward again, quickening her pace so that Cupid was half-dragged for several feet before she managed to catch up. "You know me—my only relationship is with my show! No time for love!"

Cupid shot Blondie a look. "There's always time for love," she replied, her voice gentle but serious. "And," she added, more playfully this time as she bumped her arm against Blondie's side, "you should keep in mind who you're talking to before you try to lie about matters of the heart."

Her expression was playful, but when Blondie finally turned back to meet Cupid's gaze, she noticed with a pang that there was just the tiniest trace of hurt in those bright blue eyes. Of course there was. They were BFFAs—of course Cupid didn't understand why Blondie wouldn't tell her who she was crushing on. But…well, there was no helping that for now.

"Okay, okay, I get it," Blondie replied, exaggerating an eye roll. "The whole 'Goddess of Love' thing again." Cupid raised an eyebrow in mock challenge, and Blondie grinned back at her before schooling her expression and shrugging. "Maybe this is the one time you're wrong."

Cupid hummed thoughtfully as the two girls neared their dorm room. "I guess anything's possible," she replied after a moment. "But not likely. I've never been wrong yet!"

"There's a first time for everything," Blondie replied in a sing-song tone, and Cupid nudged her again, causing her to giggle.

"Well, I'm not going to push the issue," Cupid said, pulling the key to their room out of her purse. Then she turned, tapping a surprised Blondie on the nose with it. "But I want to be the first one to know when you're ready."

Too late for that, Blondie thought. But she rolled her eyes playfully and smiled at Cupid, who was apparently satisfied with that. In the few seconds it took the pink-haired girl to unlock the door, Blondie took a deep breath.

It wasn't in her nature to repress anything about herself, including her feelings. She wasn't sure how much longer she could bear it. If Cupid had been anyone else, she would have confessed as soon as she felt something, but…

But she just couldn't risk losing her BFFA.

This was so not just right.

So I decided to try a het metafic! I'm not one for shipping het pairings, so I really hope I did an okay job!

Please, remember to review! I didn't get many at all for my last chapter, and I don't know if it was just because it was bumped really fast or just wasn't a good chapter, but it was really hard for me to get this out because it's just demotivating when you don't get reviews! I'll never threaten not to write more if I don't get reviews, because I don't believe in that, but please keep in mind that it's a huge part of my motivation to know that you guys are still reading/liking my work!

As always, thank you so much for reading/reviewing! I'll see you next chapter!