A/N—I managed to get a bunch written this morning, so you get a chapter! And let me apologize now for where I stopped this chapter. It was the best place to break it before launching into Carlos' story (that will make sense when you get there).

Again, the love from you guys for this story just makes my year. Thank you so much for the reviews and for letting me know you're enjoying it!

"Are you still in class? I really need to talk."

Kendall didn't see the text until his class let out, but he was relieved to note the time as only fifteen minutes previous. He answered, "I have a half hour before my next class. Can I call?"

His phone buzzed with an incoming call almost immediately after he sent the message. Kendall declined it, then texted, "I need five minutes to buy dinner and then I'm yours."

"Okay. And for the record, I love the sound of that."

Kendall grinned; he did, too.

Suddenly he wished he had a car to sit in and eat so that he could have privacy while talking to James. In the end he settled for the steps leading to his next class' building, figuring that at least people passing wouldn't be stationary. It wasn't going to be easy eating a burrito one-handed, but for James he'd manage. "Hey, beautiful," he smiled when James answered the call. "You doing okay?"

"Yes and no? Am I bothering you?"

"Nope, I'm just eating, so ignore any chewing sounds. Talk to me."

"How's class tonight?"

"James, you didn't call me to talk about my classes."

James sighed. "I just don't want to be that boyfriend where it's always about me. I feel bad about that."

"Well, the good news is that since you're my favorite thing, you happen to be a subject I don't mind discussing constantly." The comment was met with silence that stretched out too long. "Babe? You're not crying, are you?"

"No," James replied, obviously trying to hide that at the very least, his eyes were watering.

"I'm sorry." Kendall really wasn't. "I just want to make sure you understand that I'm here for you and don't see you as a burden. I like that you talk to me when you need someone. I'm sure I'm not the only one, you have Logan too, and—"

"It's different. You know that, right? He's so busy all the time and he's just...not...he's so great. But he's not..."

"I know." Feeling guilty for taking pride in that, Kendall sipped at the root beer he'd picked up with the burrito. "So talk to me. How was the zoo?"

"You know...I thought it was kind of a disaster. I mean there were some good things too, and—wait, hang on, I'm so sorry. Be right back."

"It's fine."

"In my room. What's up?" he heard James call out. "Yeah, there are some chips up in the cupboard. Some cookies too, but I don't want him eating more sweets today, we kind of went overboard with that between Black Forest and the zoo. And not too much, I'm starting dinner soon!" After a brief pause James was back. "Sorry, you there?"

"I'm here. You have company?"

"Yeah, Uncle Logan is helping him turn his room into space. We got some glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. I was right, he totally is like Logan with the smart shit. Not that he'd ever tell me that. I have to really study him to learn what he likes and doesn't."

"He still won't talk to you?"

"Nope."

"Logan?"

"Nope."

"Really."

"Yeah, I thought maybe he'd take to Logan the way he did to you, but...they're just in the room quietly decorating. Logan's really trying with him, and when I peek in I can tell Noah's having a good time. He just acts like he's not."

"That's improvement, right?"

"I don't know. I'm so mentally exhausted. But I only have you for another...what, twenty minutes?"

"About that. So tell me about today."

"Okay, so we went to the zoo. He was quiet again after we left you, but I was fine with that. When we turned into the zoo, I could tell he was excited. Like his eyes were all big and he was looking around the parking lot like trying to see stuff? So I asked if he'd ever been to a zoo. He shook his head. I felt like the best fucking dad ever, dude, he was so excited. He just...wouldn't say anything."

"Babe, I love that you can tell now. That you've learned him enough to know without him saying it."

"I really thought once we were inside, he'd open up. That he'd be too excited to keep quiet, you know? But he didn't. He was the same. I could tell he was enjoying most of it, but when I tried to talk to him or joke with him or asked what he wanted for lunch, nothing had changed. He still won't fucking talk to me and barely even looks at me. Since we were in a crowded place I held his hand a lot and he didn't like it. I kept feeling like he wanted to run from me and I can't...Kendall, why? What's so wrong with me? I'm trying so hard, and nothing works, he just hates me."

"Hey," Kendall soothed, hearing that James' voice was getting thicker with tears. "Just because he doesn't say it, doesn't mean he isn't feeling it. Remember, it's not going to happen overnight. Trust takes time."

"I'm not a patient person!"

"Well, that's the biggest lesson you'll have to learn as a parent. Patience. You'll be a pro by next week." A deep sigh filled Kendall's ear. "So he did actually enjoy the zoo?"

"I wasn't sure. Sometimes I thought he was enjoying it, like when we got to the lions. He seemed really interested in a lot of it, but the lions especially. He stopped and read every plaque about them, though I'm sure he didn't understand all the big words. Then again, who knows? Maybe he did. Before we left I took him to the gift shop and we bought a few things. He actually picked something out when I told him to, so that's something."

"It is. Was it a lion?"

"It was. He now has a huge stuffed lion to watch over him when he sleeps. He also picked out something else, but I can't tell you about that."

Kendall frowned. "You can't? Why not?"

"Because, dumbass, it's a surprise."

No words came right away, Kendall's chest filling with feeling.

"You'll find out tomorrow. We're taking it to the coffeehouse with us. When's a good time to catch you on your break?"

"You got me something?" Kendall still wasn't past that.

"He picked it out. It was my idea, and let me tell you something, Mr...wait, what's your last name?"

"Uh. Knight. With a K."

"Well if that isn't the most appropriate thing I've ever heard...anyway, let me tell you that when I asked him if he wanted to pick out a souvenir for you, his face fucking lit up. It was the happiest I saw him all day."

"Really?" Now it was Kendall getting choked up.

"Seriously. Apparently my son sees in you what I do. We've got that much in common."

"You guys didn't have to get me anything."

"It was a bonding moment. I'd pick up things and ask 'How about this?' and he'd shake his head. When he finally found the thing he wanted for you, he spoke. Opened his mouth and used words, Kendall."

"What did he say?" Kendall grinned.

"'This one!' It was so loud, from halfway across the store I heard him. I ran over and saw what he had and was like 'Uhhh...are you sure?' He was positive, though. So. Pretend you love it tomorrow, okay?"

"I won't have to pretend anything, James. Except that I'm not about to cry."

"Aww, you can cry. I won't judge you."

Embarrassed, Kendall changed the subject. "Okay, I'm running out of time. Anything else?"

"Oh! So on the way home I called Logan and asked when he could come over to meet Noah. That's why he's here now. I texted him that I thought Noah might like the space stuff so he stopped on the way over and got all that, and I could tell that when Logan was asking him about it he liked the idea. So they went in to do all that. But before he showed up, the wicked witch called."

Kendall balled up the empty wrapper from his burrito and frowned. "Grandma?"

"Yep. Paul told me she insisted on calling every day to check on him, and I can't really blame her for that. I'd want the same thing if Noah was staying with someone else. So I'm cool with it, let her call. I gave him my phone and stood there, then realized he wasn't going to say anything with me around. So I left the room, said I was going to shower. Turned on the shower and instead I listened to hear what he would say."

"A bit dishonest, but I guess when you're desperate..."

"I needed to hear the truth, Kendall. If he was really that unhappy and scared, I was going to take him back to them. I don't want my son to be miserable."

"I know." Bracing himself, because he was worried James had heard a lot of things that had hurt him, Kendall asked, "What did he say?"

"Surprisingly, not a lot to grandma. I figured he'd just start going off about me and how horrible I am and how he wants to go home to them, but mostly it was a lot of 'uh huh' and 'no' and 'yeah' and even an 'I'm okay.' Answering questions, that sort of thing."

"He said he's okay?"

"Yeah! That shocked me, I was so sure he'd be begging her to come get him. Then I heard him say 'Hi grandpa!' and it was like he was a totally different person. The kid wouldn't shut up once Grandpa was on the phone, Kendall. And you know what he talked about?"

Kendall prayed it wasn't him. "What?"

"The zoo! He fucking gushed about the zoo, said all the things I wished he'd said to me, told Grandpa all about the lions and the creepy spiders and the penguins, and fucking told his grandfather it had been, and I quote, 'so much fun!' And then he told his grandpa about the tacos I made and how I was going to make them again tomorrow night. His grandpa must've asked about me, because he said something like 'He's okay.' I don't know if that meant Grandpa asked how I'm doing or more like...what I'm like?"

"Hard to say. Probably the latter. So it sounds like he's afraid of Grandma but loves Grandpa?"

"Exactly. Which fits what I saw at Paul's office. He was fine around Grandpa. But Kendall, why can't he tell me all this? Why can he tell Grandpa how great the zoo was, but not say to me, 'This is so cool!'? What am I doing wrong?"

"I keep telling you, babe, you're not doing anything wrong. Today only proves that, he had a blast at the zoo. He's just not comfortable expressing his emotions to you yet. And I promise, the key word there is yet. I mean, he spoke to you today without being asked a question. He talked in front of you, to me. Maybe what you need to do is sit him down and explain to him that he can say whatever he wants and you won't get mad. For all we know, he couldn't express himself around Grandma. She sounds like a stern woman. Maybe just let him know that whatever he feels or thinks, you're not going to get angry and will still love him."

"Oh my god, you're right. Because that's exactly how it feels, like he's afraid to piss me off or say something wrong."

"Tell him, James. Sit him down after Logan leaves and have that talk. Unless...is Logan staying the night?" The idea of Logan sharing James' bed did not sit well, especially after James had made a point about no one but his boyfriend sleeping in that bed.

"No, he never does. He doesn't live too far away, so there's no need. He'll probably leave after dinner, which...shit, I need to start that. And you need to go, don't you?"

"Soon, yeah. And you guys can come in anytime tomorrow. I usually take my break around eight on Saturdays, but I'll wait for you."

"What time are you off?"

"Ten. Want to pick me up, or...no, it's probably best I show up on my own."

"Why? We don't mind picking you up. How else will you get here?"

"There are lots of ways. I can take the bus."

"We'll pick you up, Kendall."

"No. Not yet."

"Jesus, you are the most aggravating person I've ever met. But fine, show up as soon as you can. How about I make us all a late breakfast before you guys get started on the brownies?"

"You aren't gonna help?"

"I don't know. We'll see how it goes. If he seems like he wants me to, I will."

"Don't worry about that," Kendall smiled. "He'll be fine with it. Hold on, if Logan's there now...might this be a good time for Carlos to maybe check out the place?"

"You're funny," James chuckled. "I think that would just overwhelm Noah, though. Too many people at once that he isn't sure about."

"Okay, you're right. See? You're a natural dad. But one day we'll get Carlos and Logan together. Mark my words, beautiful."

James' breath caught. "Do you have any idea what it does to me when you call me that?"

"Gets you hot?" Kendall guessed.

"Not hot, it's more like...happy. Surprised but in a good way. It makes my breath stop, literally." After a pause, he asked, "Kendall, when can you stay the night again? I'm going crazy without you. I need to touch you."

Kendall held in a groan. "Maybe sometime next week. Not tomorrow, okay? It's too soon."

"The kid loves you. I love you. Neither of us is going to mind you staying the night, I promise."

"Let's see how tomorrow goes. Hey, what about we all go back to IKEA Sunday? The three of us."

"Yes! You'd do that? You don't have plans?"

"Well, Sunday is usually my day to catch up on all my homework and study for tests. So I'll need some time to do that. But maybe in the afternoon? We can meet up for lunch and head over there?"

"Whatever you want. And you can stay for dinner and then once Noah's in bed, you can remind me what it feels like to be touched by someone who loves me. Fuck, Kendall, that's all I want, just your hands on me all night, your mouth on me."

"Really? That's all you want?"

"Okay, we both know that within ten minutes I'll be begging you to fuck me. Just...be here with me. Even that's enough."

"If tomorrow goes well, we'll do IKEA Sunday. And go from there. Okay?"

"I swear you live to torture me."

"Just think how amazing it'll be when we finally get there. Think of it as foreplay, like we spent the last two years doing."

"It's torture."

"Shit, babe, I gotta go, I'm gonna be late for class. I'll see you—"

"Kendall? Can you just tell me one thing before you go?"

He'd scrambled up from the steps and was tossing his trash into a receptacle when the scared voice stopped his motion. "What's wrong?"

"Is it just me?"

"Is what just you?"

James was struggling to get the words out. "Tell me the truth. Am I the only one going crazy? Is this all one-sided?"

"What?" Kendall stepped aside to make room for students heading inside the building. "All of what?"

"Us. I'm just always the one saying it, that I miss you, that I'm going crazy to be in bed with you again, and if you're not feeling it, please be honest and—"

"James, oh my god. No! No, of course not, I'm feeling it, too!"

"Are you?"

The sound of that needy question cracked Kendall's heart. "Yes. Look, I'm...not the best when it comes to saying things like that out loud. Noah and I have that in common. I spent so long trying to hide my feelings for you that sometimes...trust me, James. All of those things you're feeling, I'm feeling at least as much. I'm just...I guess I'm trying to be the strong one. One of us needs to do that. If I wasn't, I'd be there now. I'd have been there last night; you have no idea how hard it was for me to say no when you begged me to come over. Since I haven't said it enough, let me say it now: I love you. You're not just some dude I hooked up with. You're my boyfriend, if that's what you want. You're the guy I hope will be the one I spend my life with, and Noah is part of that. When I said yes to that first date, I didn't realize Noah would be living with you."

"I know, and that's what scares me. You never expected—"

"But it doesn't change my feelings for you. And the truth is...today, I was thinking about it and...I got excited."

"Excited?"

"Yeah. Because I have you both in my life, because we're gonna be...whatever you want us to be."

"But Kendall, what do you want us to be?"

Kendall bit his lip, not sure if it was too soon to speak his feelings, let alone feel them. A group of people walked past who knew nothing of him or his life, who didn't even care to give him a second glance, but he'd never felt less alone because if he opened his heart, he'd have what he'd always wanted. "I'd like us to be a family. One day."

Now James was crying. There was no attempt to hide it. "Really?"

"Yeah. I know it's...well, it's soon. Too soon. We barely know each other."

"Who fucking cares? I know that I love you and that you're the right person to help me raise my son. I am 100% certain of that. Nobody can change my mind on that. And I was so scared you didn't feel the same way."

"I do. I'm sorry I didn't say it, I'm just as afraid to lose you. And Noah. We have to do this right, though, babe. Not rush into anything."

A sarcastic laugh came through the phone. "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"

"I just mean with Noah. Baby steps. Let me take this one step at a time with him, the way I need to. That means you're going to have to suffer without me for awhile. Do I want to be in your bed every night? Jesus, you have no idea. But for now, I need to trust my instincts. Make decisions one at a time. Can you trust me on this?"

"I do. I really do. It's just so hard not having you here after what we experienced; I actually know what I'm missing now."

"You're not alone in that. I swear."

"Okay. Okay, I believe you."

"Good. I love you, James."

Kendall didn't have to see the smile to know it was there. "I love you, too. Just make sure to say it here and there, okay? I'm one of those needy bitches who has to hear the words out loud."

"Then I'll say it again. I love you."

"Mmm, every time. Every time I just want to drag you off to bed. Are you late?"

"Yep. Totally worth it."

"I'll see you in the morning, man of my dreams."

Kendall's heart fluttered. "Not just in your dreams anymore, beautiful."

"Lucky fucking me."

"Work on that potty mouth."

"Shit. I keep forgetting. Okay, go! Love you!"

And even though he'd already said it three times over the course of their phone call, Kendall didn't hold back the urge to say it again. "Love you, too. Bye, babe."

"Bye!"

As Kendall rushed up the steps, he accepted the fact that his routine was going to be continually shaken by the beautiful man he'd fallen in love with and the adorable boy who'd also found a way into his heart. School had always been his priority, because what he needed most in life was to help families and he knew school would get him there.

He'd never imagined one family in particular would capture his heart so completely, and for that reason Kendall couldn't be mad about the fact that his world had been turned upside down. His new priority was to help the love of his life and his (if things worked out the way he wanted them to) future stepson find that common ground where they could be open with each other and learn to love. If Kendall himself was that common ground, so be it.

No complaints on his end.

It was just approaching 7 A.M. when Carlos leaned across the pick-up counter. "Take your break."

Kendall spun around, surprised to see Carlos. "Don't you usually sleep in on Saturday?"

"Not today, I don't." His dark eyes were dancing, lips curved up high. "I barely slept at all. Did James tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"He didn't! Take your break, I need to get it all out!"

"I can't. Hang on, let me finish this mocha."

The place wasn't too crowded, as most of the Saturday morning crowd rolled in closer to nine, so Kendall only to had to finish his current order and the next before he could give Carlos his attention again. "I'm waiting until James and Noah get here to take my break. What's going on?"

"Oh my god, I can't wait until you get off! I have to talk about it now!"

"Carlos, I'm sorry, I'm not taking my break until they get here. What the hell happened?"

Carlos glanced around, leaning on the counter once again, before dropping the bomb. "I had dinner at James' place last night."

"You what?!" Now Kendall was certainly paying attention. "But how? Logan was there! James said..."

Carlos was nodding in a satisfied manner. "Damn right, Logan was there. Now are you gonna take your break or am I gonna have to clock in just so we can talk about this?"

"Shit. I can't take two breaks, and I promised James I'd wait."

"Just tell Annie you're not feeling well and need to sit down for a few minutes."

"I can't lie. And she'd know better if you go in there with me."

"Then tell her the truth. Your best friend really needs someone right now and you need ten minutes."

"She'll tell me to just take my break."

"Kendall, tell her the truth. You never take extra breaks, never even go a minute over them. Annie freaking loves you, and it's not busy. Just hurry before I explode!"

"Okay, okay, calm down. Give me a second."

As Carlos had predicted, Annie didn't bat an eyelash because Kendall never took time for himself. He explained that Carlos really needed to talk but that he'd also made plans to meet with someone on his break, and she immediately told him to "Just go. An extra ten minutes without you isn't going to kill us." He surprised her with a hug, then rushed back to the breakroom to find Carlos peeking into a grocery bag sitting on the table.

"What's all this?"

"Stuff to make brownies. I have a brownie date with Noah and James later."

"Oh, I think I did hear something about that."

"From Noah?" Kendall asked hopefully.

"Nah, James. When we were eating cookies for dessert, he said something about how they were gonna bake brownies tomorrow. Or...today, I guess."

Kendall dragged a chair out and dropped into it. "Okay, spill, I have ten minutes. I told James last night that he should invite you over since Logan was there, and he was afraid it might overwhelm Noah. So how did you end up weaseling your way in there?"

Carlos cracked his knuckles before rubbing his hands together. "I'm just that good."