Chapter 10: Fit the Fifth (Part 2 of 2)
"Hey, there he is! Marvin!" Fluttershy said.
"Hey, Marvin, we're glad to see you!" Zaphod said coolly.
"No you're not. Nopony ever is." Marvin said as he walked over to them.
"Oh no, we are quite glad to see you, Marvin." Fluttershy said.
"Quite." Rarity said halfheartedly.
"I can't believe you've been waiting for us this entire time!" Fluttershy said.
"The first 10 million were the worst. The second 10 million years were also the worst. I didn't enjoy the third 10 million years at all. After that, things began to decline." Marvin said.
"Hey Zaphod, look at this!" Applejack said, her attention wandering. "Check out this amazing star cruiser!"
"Wow. Look at this detail. This has got to be a custom job. Too much." Zaphod said admiringly.
"And look at that." Applejack said.
"That's not good for the eyes. I mean, it's so black, you can hardly even make out the shape. Light just falls right into it. And feel this surface." Zaphod said.
"Yeah… Hey, there's no friction." Applejack said.
"This must be one mover. What do you say, Applejack?" Zaphod asked.
"Are you talking about running off with it? Do you really think we should?" Applejack asked.
"No. Let's do it." Zaphod said.
"Okay." Applejack said coolly.
"We better go now. The universe will end in a couple of minutes, and then the owners will come to get their ship." Zaphod said.
"Zaphod, how do we even get in?" Applejack asked.
"Don't spoil it." Zaphod said. "Maybe the robot will be able to figure something out. Hey Marvin, come over, we have something for you to do!"
"I won't enjoy it." Marvin said, walking over.
"Oh yes you will. There's a new life full of adventure and excitement and wonder stretching out in front of you." Zaphod said with fake enthusiasm.
"Sounds awful. I suppose you want me to open this car door?" Marvin said.
"Uh, yeah, that would be nice." Zaphod said.
"I wish you would just tell me instead of trying to arouse my enthusiasm since I haven't got any." Marvin said. And he opened the door.
"Hey, how did you do that?" Applejack asked.
"Didn't I tell you, I've got a brain the size of a planet. Nopony ever listens to me of course." Marvin said.
"Hey Zaphod, look at this. Look at the interior. It's back. I mean, everything in it is totally black…" Applejack said.
"And now ladies and gentle colts the moment we've all been waiting for. In five seconds time the universe will come to an end." Vinyl Scratch said as a drum roll began to play. "Watch the boundaries of infinity crush away what remains of our universe."
And ponies clapped. And the sounds of water rushing down the drain emanated for five minutes at least.
And so the universe ended.
"Basically what you're trying to say is that you can't control the ship!" Rarity yelled as alarms began to sound through the entire ship, which they had long since stolen and flown off with.
"I'm not trying to say that, the ship is!" Applejack yelled over these alarms.
"I can't figure out these controls!" Zaphod yelled. "Whenever you press one of these black controls that are labeled in black on a black background, a black light lights up to let you know you've done it!"
"Could you even try to control, you're making me feel space sick!" Rarity said, having grown used to the rapid changes that had been made to her life and were still happening.
"Time sick, we're falling backwards in time!" Applejack pointed out.
"Now I think I really am going to be sick!" Rarity whined.
"Can you go easy on us Zaphod? Just today we had to go through the end of the universe and before that an exploding computer shot us all the way to the end of the universe!" Fluttershy told Zaphod.
"How does that happen anyway? How does an exploding computer send you forward into the future?" Rarity asked.
"It wasn't a computer, it was a hyper spatial field generator." Marvin said.
"Silly I should have recognized it at once." Rarity said sarcastically.
"When it overheated, it blew a hole through the space-time continuum, and you dropped right through it." Marvin said.
And the alarms stopped.
"That sounds better! Were you able to figure out the controls?" Fluttershy asked.
"No we just stopped touching them. I think the ship knows way better where it's going than we do." Applejack told her.
"That makes sense to me." Rarity said.
"What are you talking about, Pony girl?" Zaphod asked.
"Well if whoever owns this ship traveled forward in time to the restaurant at the end of the universe, then they would've programmed it in advance to travel back to the place they originally left, don't you think?" Rarity asked irritably.
"That's quite a good thought. It makes sense." Applejack said, deep in thought.
"So there's nothing we can do but sit back and find out where we end up. So what do we do while we're waiting?" Fluttershy asked.
"I've got a bag of Scrabble tiles in my pocket." Rarity said.
"Hey, you've got a job to do remember? The Ultimate Question to the Ultimate Answer! There's a lot of money and merchandising tied up in that head of yours." Zaphod said.
"Well, yes, but where do I start?" Rarity asked angrily. "I don't know. I mean the answer is 42. The question could be anything. I mean, what's 6 times 7?"
"Uh…42." Hey all simultaneously.
"Yes I know that! I'm just saying the question should be anything. How am I supposed to know?" Rarity asked.
"Because you and Fluttershy are the last generation products of Equestria. Deep in your mind, you have to know." Applejack said.
"I know." Marvin said.
"Shut up Marvin this is organized talking." Applejack said.
"It's printed in her brainwave patterns, but I can read it." Marvin said. "But I don't suppose you're interested in that."
"You mean you can see into my mind?" Rarity asked him.
"Yes." Marvin said.
"And?" she asked.
"It's a wonder you survive with something so small." Marvin said.
"Oh I see, you just want to insult me!" Rarity said angrily.
"Oh, he's just making it up." Fluttershy said in an assuring tone.
"Why would I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough without inventing more of it to loath."
"Marvin, if you knew the Question all along, then why didn't you tell us?" Fluttershy asked.
"You didn't ask." Marvin said.
"Well we're asking you now, what's the Question?" Applejack asked.
"The Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything." Marvin said.
"Yes?" They all asked simultaneously.
"To which the answer is 42." Marvin said.
"Yes?" They all asked simultaneously.
"I can tell you're not really all that interested." Marvin said.
"JUST TELL US!" Applejack yelled.
"Look, the controls are lighting up! We must have arrived!" Rarity pointed out.
"Yeah, we're back in real space!" Zaphod said.
"I knew you weren't really that interested." Marvin said.
"The controls still won't do anything. It's still going its own way!" Applejack said.
"Is it even possible to find out where we are?" Fluttershy said.
"The vision screens are down." Applejack pointed out.
"Can't we turn them on?" Rarity asked.
"They are on!" Applejack said.
"Then why can't we see anything?" Rarity asked.
"Go check the rear windows." Zaphod instructed her.
She did, and came back. "Apart from the fleet of black battle cruisers, there's nothing."
"What?" they asked.
"What black battle cruisers are you talking about?" Zaphod said nervously.
"The ones on the rear screen. I thought you'd noticed them. There are about 100,000 of them." Rarity said.
"Well what do you expect when you steal the admiral of a flagship's star cruiser?" Marvin asked.
"What makes you think this starship belongs to the admiral of a flagship?" Zaphod asked.
"I know it is. I parked it for him." Marvin said.
"Then why didn't you tell us?" Zaphod asked angrily.
"You didn't ask." Marvin said.
"You know what we've done? We've dropped ourselves into the middle of an intergalactic war." Applejack said.