In Which Swears Are Elderly
The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Become-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (because the other amusing nicknames weren't confusing enough) turned away from the foolish Gryffindor and used his wand to write 'Tom Marvolo Riddle' in the air with fire. With a swish of his wand, the letters rearranged themselves to become 'I am Lord Voldemort'. Slowly turning to once again face his enemy, Tommy said, "Lord Voldemort is my past, present, and f-" but he stopped speaking abruptly as he saw what the oblivious second year was doing.
He was writing swear words the the air with fire, using the same spell that Memorymort had just used.
The heir of Slytherin raised an eyebrow before glancing at what the second year was spelling. "Huh, some of these are rather imaginative. Cauldron bum," Tom read aloud, "Hagrid's buttcrack. Son of a banshee, swish and flicker, dragon bogies, blast-ended skank. Make sure you don't forget avada kedumbass; I've always liked that one. Unicorn turds, floppy-wanded dementor buggerer, Voldemort's nipple- Hey!"
When Fawkes flew into the Chamber with the Sorting Hat, he did indeed see Tom Riddle and Harry Potter flinging curses at each other, just not the kind he had been expecting.
"Broomhead!"
"Expecto patronads!"
And in that moment, Fawkes knew what it had to do. Gryffindor's sword wasn't the only thing that can be pulled out of the Sorting hat; there was one other thing. A super-ancient, lost to the ages, archaic, olden times piece of parchment on which was written a curse that must never be repeated to anyone.
The Elder Swear.
I have been waiting to do this one for so long, you guys have no idea. I just, really like this chapter okay.
Every single swear used (except for avada kedumbass, which I am the proud creator of) was directly quoted from the Harry Potter Puppet Pals video, Wizard Swears. If you didn't realize this fact before now, you are required by law to go watch the video again.
Even if you recognized it, you are still required to go watch the video again.
It is law.