I make no claims to Voltron or any WEP characters.

Heartache & Desperation: Chapter 10

The following morning, Romelle and Sven are arguing as they are getting dressed. Reaching behind her to zip up her skirt, she questions, "Why do we need to leave today, Sven? I still don't understand why you are insisting on this when you know Allura needs me."

Pulling his shirt over his head then yanking it down into place, Sven snaps at his wife, "She doesn't need you Romelle, except to hide behind you."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she retorts, "You mean actually supporting her, unlike the rest of you, who ignored her and wouldn't even acknowledge her presence in the dining room at dinner last night."

Glaring at her, Sven moves to sit down on the bed, exasperation filling him, "Romelle, I don't want us to start fighting over this. This is Keith and Allura's problem and we don't need to be in the middle of it. Michael is fully trained to take over Blue lion. We are no longer needed here."

Closing her eyes as her anger drains, Romelle sighs as she moves to sit beside her husband. He puts an arm around her. Laying her head on his shoulder, she murmurs, "I don't want to fight either, but Sven, she is so vulnerable right now."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Sven kisses her forehead instead as he replies, "Yes, but it isn't like you can't talk to her. You know a video call is just moments away." He feels his wife squirm against him and he tightens his grip on her as he hugs her, "We have our own responsibilities on Pollux that we need to get back to."

Sighing again, Romelle finally acquiesces, "Very well, we will go home after breakfast."

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Having foregone breakfast, Keith immediately goes to his office the next morning. Sitting down at his desk, he holds his aching head between his hands. He had spent the evening before with Sven and Lance, drowning his sorrows in whisky once more. Somewhere along the line, Sven had informed him of his plan to return to Pollux this morning. While he wished his friend could stay a little longer, Keith understood his need to leave as well. Between the mess with Allura and the fact that they have already been gone from Pollux for over six month, there was too much drama going on here and too much work at home that needed to be done for him to stay. In addition, after everything he had been through, Sven was man who needed some peace in his life…peace that he would not find on Arus.

Opening a drawer, Keith pulls out a bottle of aspirin. Opening it, he takes out two of them and throws them in his mouth. Picking up a bottle of water, he drinks from it just as the door to his office opens. Setting the bottle back down, Keith arches an eyebrow at his visitor, "You used to knock, Coran."

Smiling at him, the old advisor replies, "And normally I would, but thought your head might be hurting this morning. I was informed you had a bit to drink last night."

Narrowing his eyes at him, Keith snorts, "Who was the tattletale? Lance?"

"Nanny actually," he answers with a laugh, "She cleaned up the empty bottles and glasses from the rec room this morning."

Rolling his eyes, Keith sits back in his chair, "What do you need?"

"Just wondering if you gave any thought to your position on the throne," the advisor asks in a quiet tone.

Sucking in a deep breath, Keith's fingers dig painfully into the arms of his chair. Gritting his teeth, he closes his eyes against the rush of anger the question triggered. He opens his eyes again when he hears, "If you need more time…"

Forcing himself to calm down, Keith stares up at the older man as he answers, "Leave it with…her…for now." He seems to rethink it a moment later, "I guess, bring me things as you need to, but I don't want all of it."

Nodding, Coran replies, "Very well, I will inform the Council. If you should change your mind…"

"I'll let you know," Keith interjects.

"Very well, I'll leave you to your duties," the advisor says before turning around and walking out of the room.

Turning his chair to face the window, Keith stares outside at the blue skies, spotting a flock of birds…wishing he could fly away as well.

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Down on the tarmac, tears run down Allura's face as she hugs Romelle, clinging to her. Her words are hitched as she cries, "I wish…I wish you didn't have to leave."

Returning the hug, Romelle strokes her hair as Sven walks past them and boards the shuttle, not even speaking to Allura. Irritated with him, Romelle glares at his retreating back then sighs as she pulls away from her cousin, "You know I'm a call away. Anytime you need to talk, I want you to call me."

She shudders as Allura nods in agreement. Romelle smiles at her once more. Glancing up at the castle, she adds, "Remember what I said about keeping your head high. I know you feel like everyone hates you right now, but their anger will pass. They will forgive you eventually. It will just take some time and patience on your part."

Looking doubtful, Allura tries to remain positive as she replies, "I will try." She wipes at the tears on her cheeks while trying to smile at her cousin. Romelle nods to her then turns away to board the shuttle as Allura backs away toward the castle. Despite her reassurances to Romelle, she cannot help the despondent feeling the sight of the shuttle taking off gives her. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she enters the castle and slowly makes her way toward her room.

Staring at the floor as she passes various castle personnel to avoid eye contact, Allura cannot help but look up when she hears familiar booted footsteps in front of her. Pausing, she finds Lance briskly walking down the hall toward her. Meeting his gaze, Allura almost stumbles back from the fury that is in them. Her back presses against the wall behind her as he walks past without a word. Desperate, she turns to look at his retreating back and whispers, "Lance…please."

He stops suddenly then turns back to her, every muscle in his body taut as he angrily asks, "Please what, Allura?"

His gaze burning through her, Allura's eyes tear up. She turns her head away from him, unable to answer. She can hear his contemptuous snort of disgust as she digs her shaking fingers into her skirt. Taking a deep breath, Allura finally looks back at him through the tears to find him glaring at her. Suddenly, as if he just made a decision, he walks back to her then grabs her arm while yelling at her, "What the fuck were you thinking? How could you do that to Keith?"

Sobbing out as she tries to pull her arm away from him, the queen replies, "I didn't…mean to hurt…"

Lance does not let her finish as he yells, "You didn't mean to hurt him! You practically rape the man and you didn't mean to hurt him!" He releases her arm and turns away in disgust, starting to walk away. With her back against the wall once more, Allura continues to cry as he suddenly stops then turns back toward her once more. His voice is low and furious, "You know the thing that pisses me off the most Allura? He defended you to everyone when we found you were pregnant. He even threatened to walk away from his duty to defend you, not knowing that you had betrayed him and you stood there and let him do it, saying nothing."

Refusing to answer him, Allura sinks to the floor as she continues to sob. Lance shakes his head in disgust, turns and walks away.

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After a time, Allura slowly pulls herself back up then ambles the rest of the way to her room. She wipes at her cheeks as she enters her room. The need to hold her daughter overwhelms her so she walks across the room toward the nursery room door. Opening the door, she finds Keith sitting in a rocking chair cuddling Adrienne against his chest. Allura stands in the doorway silently, watching the smile on his face as Keith leans down to kiss their daughter's cheek then murmurs to her, "You are beautiful, aren't you, my precious…"

Finally sensing someone in the room, he turns his head toward the door and the smile instantly leaves his face. In its place is a mask of granite as Keith glares at her. Allura almost steps back from the fury in his eyes until he finally speaks, his tone showing his anger, "I'm spending time with my daughter, Allura. Get out."

Tears run down her cheeks as she turns away, closing the nursery room door. Stumbling across the room through the blur of tears, she falls onto her bed then curls up in a ball crying, hopelessness filling her heart.

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Rising from her bed several hours later, Allura glances at the clock then slowly makes her way back to the nursery. Opening the door, she hesitantly steps inside to find the room empty save a nursemaid tidying up the room. The woman nods to Allura then leaves the room. Making her way over to the crib, the queen stares down on her sleeping daughter. Feeling tears stinging her eyes, she bends over to kiss her lightly then makes her way back into her bedroom.

After bathing and dressing, she leaves her room, hesitantly making her way down the hall. Romelle's earlier words about holding her head up ring in her ears as she makes her way to the dining room. Approaching the doors, she begins trembling. Stopping near it, Allura looks into the room to find the chairs rearranged. The two that Sven and Romelle had been using were removed and the others moved down in order to leave a gap near the end of the table where one lone chair sat.

Feeling tears sliding down her cheeks, Allura looks over the occupants to note that Coran is missing from the group. Keith had moved from his normal seat to one near the end of the table, far from the only seat left open at the other end. Choking back the sob threatening to escape her, she turns around and moves back down the hallway.

From his seat at the table, Keith notices movement near the door. The brighter lights of the dining room keeps the person in shadow, but the general shape leaves no question as to the person's identity. He watches the shadow in the doorway turn and move away. Biting down hard on the almost uncontrollable anger still streaming through him, he forces his attention on the plate being placed in front of him.

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Later that night, the governess leaves the kitchen and moves down the hallway toward the royal suites. She knocks on the door of the queen then enters, not waiting for a response. The room is almost dark, outside of a single lit lamp near the bedside where Allura lays with her back to her. Briskly walking across the room, Nanny glances at the table near the window to find the tray of food she had brought earlier sits untouched.

Gritting her teeth, she moves around the bed so she can look down on the queen. "Allura, you didn't eat a bite of the dinner I brought you!"

Opening her eyes, Allura murmurs, "I wasn't hungry," then closes them again.

"It doesn't matter if you are hungry or not, you need to eat!" When her statement brings forth no response, Nanny argues, "If you don't eat, you will not be able to produce any milk! How will you feed your daughter then?"

Reopening her eyes, Allura feels the tears stinging them as she sits up in the bed and looks over at the tray. Nodding to her governess, she rises from the bed and sits down at the table by the window. As she starts to eat slowly, Nanny takes a deep breath of relief then begins to move about the room, straightening it.

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The next morning, Coran carries a stack of papers with him as he nears the queen's bedroom. Knocking on the door, he enters a moment later when he hears Nanny's voice. Opening the door, he walks into the room to find the queen in a chair, rocking her daughter as Nanny works on straightening the bed. His eyes move over Allura, noting that even though the hour is late, she is still dressed only in a bathrobe and her face is pale.

Keeping his tone indifferent, he finally greets her, "Good morning, your Majesty. I have brought with me paperwork that needs your attention."

His eyes stay on Allura as she finally looks up at him. He holds her gaze as she seems to study him for a moment then she looks back down at her daughter as she replies, "Place it on the table please. I'll look at them in a while."

Nodding to her, he places the files on the table as requested then shares a concerned look with Nanny before leaving the room.

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One week later, Michael exits the launch system after practice. His eyes move over the others as they return then settle on his commanding officer. In the week since his daughter was born, he had turned into a different man. The smiling, happy to engage in social conversation commander he had met when he first came to Arus was gone. These days the new king rarely spoke to anyone unless it was necessary.

He watches Keith move over to Lance, say something quietly to him then leave castle control. Lance pulls his comm. unit off his belt and quickly speaks into it before turning back to face them. The dais lowers behind him. The advisor steps down and questions, "Where is his Majesty going? I thought we were going to meet after practice."

"Leave him alone, Coran," Lance replies as he steps in front of him. He glances back at the door as he continues, "He's having a bad day."

"He is King of Arus and has serious responsibilities. Responsibility doesn't have time for a bad day," Coran snaps back at him.

Turning back to him, Lance arches an eyebrow, "Most kings aren't lethal when having a bad day like Keith is. Leave him alone."

Coran glares at him the moves back to his place in the command chair. Clearing his throat, Michael steps closer to Lance, "If we aren't going to meet this morning, mind if I disappear for a while?"

Turning his attention to the private, Lance asks, "What's up?"

Shrugging, he answers, "Just feel the need to get out for some fresh air."

The lieutenant eyes him a moment more then replies, "Fine, go, but keep your comm. unit on you."

Nodding to him, Michael breathes a sigh of relief. He mock salutes Lance, who shakes his head at him, then leaves the room. Moving quickly, he heads for the castle stables.

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Slowly making his way to his office, Keith tries to rein in his feelings once more. Hunk had made an innocent remark during practice that had reminded him of his wife. A wife whose very name brought forth all of the rage he felt the day of his wedding to the surface once more. He needed to get away from everyone when they returned and Lance had been good enough to assist him in that. Reaching his office, he walks into the room to find the governess standing there with his daughter.

The older woman gives him a dirty look, "As you requested."

Taking Adrienne from her, the king finally feels the anger dissipating as he looks into her clear sapphire blue eyes. Smiling for the first time all day, he waves the older woman away, "Give me thirty minutes to enjoy my daughter Nanny, that's all I ask."

Ignoring her harrumphing as she exits the room, Keith moves to the sofa in his office. Sitting down, he holds Adrienne close to him as he continues to smile.

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Waking up, Allura glances toward the window to find the sun shining through it. The urge to shove her head under her pillow and go back to sleep is almost over powering. Only the pressure in her breasts and the need to feed Adrienne gets her to throw back the blankets. Moving across the room, she enters the nursery to find the crib empty. Feeling panicky, Allura moves back into her bedroom and hits the button to call for help. She begins pacing the room as she waits.

Nanny enters the room a minute or two later to find Allura wringing her hands as she paces. When the queen finally notices her, she frantically says, "Adrienne is gone!"

Walking up to her to take her hands, the governess replies, "She is only with her father for a short while."

Tears fill her eyes as Allura whimpers, "Keith?"

"Yes, he wanted to spend some time with her this morning," Nanny answers as she directs her charge back toward her bed.

Tears continue down Allura's face as she listens to Nanny instructing her to take a shower and she would come back with some breakfast for her in a bit. Lying back down against the pillows, the queen curls into a ball as she continues to cry instead.

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Approaching the village, Michael's nerves start to get the better of him. The thought about turning around and heading back to the castle goes through him. He pushes the feeling away then pushes the horse to move faster. Reaching the center of town, he slows the horse down to a walk. His eyes move over the people in the market area as they whisper to each other while pointing at the Voltron pilot in their midst. Steeling his spine, Michael continues his way through the village, finally reaching his destination on the other side.

Dismounting, he ties the reins to the nearby fence. Determinedly, he moves up the walk, reaching the door just as it opens to reveal Beth. Her eyes appear red and puffy, her hair disheveled, her dress wrinkled. It is obvious she has not gotten over the end of her engagement to the commander. Her eyes widen at the site of him then they narrow as she snarls, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Who did you think I was?" Michael asks casually as he stops in front of her.

Glaring at him, Beth steps back inside, slamming the door behind her. It does not latch however and the door partially reopens. Pushing it aside, Michael follows her into the sitting room. Turning around to find him right behind her, Beth's face turns red with anger as she yells, "GET OUT!"

"You know…" starts the Irishman slowly as he sits down on one of the wing-backed chairs, "…all I wanted to do was come by and see how you are faring."

Standing there with her chest heaving in anger, she does not answer him. Michael continues to study her as she crosses her arms across her chest. Sighing deeply, he whispers, "I take it you aren't faring well?"

"How did you think I'd be doing?" Beth finally snaps at him, "Did you think I'd be happy that my fiancé fucked the princess behind my back, got her pregnant then had to marry her?"

"It wasn't like that," Michael sighs out as he stands back up.

"Oh, what did I miss?" she sarcastically asks.

Wondering for a minute if he should tell her what really happened, Michael studies her. Her impatience is beginning to show as she glares at him while tapping her foot. Figuring the story would get out eventually anyway, he shrugs, "Allura drugged Keith…he had no idea the baby Allura was carrying was his."

Her eyes grow wide with surprise then anger shines through, "That bitch!" She moves forward while demanding, "Take me up to the castle!"

"For what?" asks Michael as he arches an eyebrow at her in question.

Looking at him as if he really has become an idiot, Beth snaps, "Keith needs me! I should have never left him!"

Shaking his head at her, the private retorts, "He's married to Allura now…what do you hope to accomplish?"

Pausing mid-step, Beth looks at him flummoxed, "He still married her?"

Giving her one short nod, he adds, "It wasn't like he had a choice." At her continued look of confusion, Michael informs her, "Keith had to marry her to legitimize Adrienne's birth."

Looking deflated, Beth sinks onto the sofa as tears begin to slide down her cheeks. Moving to sit beside her, Michael reaches over to place a hand on top of hers, "I'm sorry."

Pulling her hand away, Beth is instantly angry again, "For what?"

"That you were hurt," he answers sincerely.

Her eyes turn derisive, "No, you're not!" She stands to face him, "You've done nothing but try to get between Keith and I since you arrived!"

Slowly standing up while feeling the rage building in him, he snaps, "No, I haven't! I did everything I could to stay away from you!"

"Yeah, right!" Taking a step toward him, Beth yells, "Every time I turned around you were staring at me!"

Glaring at her, Michael decides to inflict some pain of his own, "So what hurts you more, Beth? That you lost Keith or that you lost the prestige of being the future wife of the Commander of the Voltron Force?"

"How dare you!" she snaps as she slaps him.

Rubbing his cheek, he retorts, "That wasn't an answer."

Turning away, Beth walks back to the door and yanks it open, "Get out!"

Walking across the room, Michael stops next to her. He captures her gaze then reaches out to caress her cheek with a single finger, "A chuisle, one day I hope you realize what you could have."

"What does that mean?" she demands as she pulls away from his hand.

He stares at her for a moment longer then whispers, "My love," before turning around and walking out of the house. Quickly moving down the walk, he rips the reins of his horse away from the fence. Mounting him, Michael glances back at the house to find Beth standing there, staring at him in confusion. Knowing she will not call him back no matter how much he might wish she would, Michael snaps the reins and cantors away.