This Life I Live: A One Direction Fanfic (Chapter #10)
Cara's POV:
I woke up with my head in Liam's lap. He was already awake, and staring down at me with a sad look on his face.
"I better get you home," he said softly. I nodded in assent as he helped me to my feet.
Together, we cleaned the bathroom quickly. Liam put his now-dry shirt and jacket back on, much to my disappointment. At least I could breathe normally now, ha ha.
Evie was still asleep, but I left her a note thanking her for letting me stay over.
Liam and I got into his car and he drove to my house as slowly as possible, purposefully missing lights. Normally, I might have said something about this, and teased him for it. But today, I was just glad to spend a few extra minutes with him.
When we finally did reach my house he gave me lingering kiss and let me go. I waved as he backed out of the driveway, and he gave me a small smile and held up his phone. "Text me," he mouthed and I nodded hurriedly.
As I rang the doorbell, my stomach dropped as I realized how worried Tricia and the rest of the Malik family must have been. I felt awful. Running away had been such a stupid idea. I'm sure Tricia was out of her mind with nervousness: while I was staying with them, I was completely here responsibility! Oh god, they were really going to hate me.
The door opened with a bang and Zayn stared out at me, silently.
"Hi," I murmured, looking down at my shoes. When he didn't reply, I dragged my eyes to his face and a stab of pain shot through my body.
Zayn looked awful. He was pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes.
"I was up all night waiting for you to call," he responded, reading the question in my look. His tone was so harsh it felt like a fresh slap to the face. Suddenly, all of my anger from earlier came bubbling to the surface.
"Zayn, you have no right to be upset at me! You lied to me for over a month! Don't stand there and try and guilt trip me. You're not the victim here!" I spat.
"Well you should feel guilty! You ran away for an entire night, leaving me no hint of your whereabouts. And don't think I don't know about Liam! I saw him fucking dropping you off!" Zayn said, his eyes flashing.
"Zayn, I'm not going to stand here and deny that nothing happened between Liam and I. I'm not a LIAR. But you hid the most important part of your life from me! Don't blame me for needing someone to treat me decently after you treated me like shit!"
Zayn fell silent.
I gave him a final look of disdain before I pushed past him, fled up the stairs, and slammed my door.
The first thing I did was call Liam.
He answered right away. "Hi." One word and I started getting this stupid smile on my face.
"I just need to be with you," I told him. Unlike with Zayn or Niall, it was so easy to tell him exactly what was on my mind.
"Come over," Liam replied, simply. He gave me his address, and I didn't even hesitate: I grabbed my purse and some bus fare.
I changed into a fresh pair of jeans, and my favorite gray v-neck. I stuck my feet in my Toms, ran a brush through my hair, and grabbed the jacket I had worn last night. Harry's jacket, I realized. I must have kept it after he gave it to me. A lump of guilt rose in my chest and I quickly exchanged it for another.
I ran downstairs, wrote a long note to Tricia, explaining how I had stayed over at Evie's working on a project last night, and how I would be going over there again today.
I apologized profusely, signed my name, and then left. I walked to the bus stop, still fuming over Zayn's words and consulted the schedule, then got on the bus.
A few minutes later, I was standing at the edge of Liam's driveway. His house was just as big and fancy as I knew it would be. It looked like a smaller version of Versailles. But not that much smaller. It had a well manicured lawn dotted with statues, and a big ornamental fountain dividing the driveway. The house itself was made of an attractive grey stone, with columns flanking the front.
I rang the bell hesitantly. I half expected a butler in seventeenth century clothes to open the door or something. Thankfully, Liam answered.
"Hey," I said meekly. Standing on his door mat, at his super nice house, in front of him, I became shy. I didn't say anything, but he picked up on it intuitively.
"It's just us at home, everyone else is out. They'll be gone all day," Liam assured me. I felt a wave of relief rush through me. I just wanted to be with Liam, I didn't want to have to explain my visit to his parents. Awkward.
"Have you had breakfast?" Liam asked, touching the small of my back. For a second, I forgot the majority of the English language, but eventually I cam up with something rather brilliant to say:
"Um, no." Cara pull yourself together, I commanded myself.
"Then you must be starving. Don't worry I can cook," Liam said, taking my hand and walking towards the kitchen.
"I can't lie, I'm incredibly skeptical of your cooking abilities, Mr. Payne," I teased. It had been so long since I had felt like joking. What could I say? Liam's presence alone made me happier.
Liam gave me a sly look. "Prepare to be amazed," he teased back.
We entered the kitchen, which was huge, with marble countertops and a million gleaming appliances and freshly sanded cupboards.
Liam picked me up and set me down gently on one of the countertops.
"Just watch," he said, as he deftly mixed flour, eggs, water, a handful of chocolate chips, and a pinch of salt into a large mixing bowl. He measured, stirred, and poured the batter in a flurry. I stopped paying attention to what he was doing and just kind of stared at his arms which were very nicely, um, muscled, to say the least.
Before I knew what had happened, Liam was handing me a plate of chocolate chip pancakes, complete with whipped cream and sliced strawberries.
"Ok, fine, I take back what I said about you being a bad cook," I said, smiling up at him. Liam leaned in and kissed my nose. Be brave, Cara, I screamed at myself internally. I reached for the back of his neck and started kissing him full on the lips. He smiled into the kiss, and we both pulled away breathing heavily.
He pulled himself up to sit beside me on the counter and we began to eat.
Neither of us needed to say anything.
Afterwards, we did the dishes together, me drying while he washed.
Once we finished, he led me up to his room and I lay down on the bed. We were both on our sides facing each other.
"I'm so tired," I said quietly, not expecting him to reply.
"Let me put in a movie, then," he suggested. I felt like all I had been doing lately was watching movies, but instead of protesting I just nodded my agreement.
Liam put in Toy Story, and I laughed at his choice.
"You're such a little kid," I remarked tiredly, grabbing his hand and pulling him back onto the bed.
"Sorry for appreciating the best movie ever made," he retorted. "Just kidding. Toy Story 3 is way better." I laughed, as he wrapped his around me and let me lean my head against his shoulder.
Halfway through the movie, we both fell asleep.
When I finally woke up, Liam was sitting beside me, writing down what looked like song lyrics.
"What time is it?" I asked sleepily.
"Almost five," he replied.
"Oh. Sorry I slept for such a long time," I said chuckling. He laughed too.
"No, I needed time to work on these lyrics anyways."
"Are they for a new song?" I still wasn't too comfortable talking about One Direction, to be honest, but clearly if I was going to be with Liam, I would have to get used to that.
"No, not really. An old song, actually. It was on the last CD. But they have a new meaning now…." He trailed off, catching my eye.
"Do they?" I asked innocently. "Why do they have new meaning?"
"Because of you, of course," he said, laughing and tousling my hair.
I looked down at the lyrics.
You light up my world like nobody else.
I felt a shiver go through me. It was like Liam had taken the thought right out of my head! Even asleep, I had been dreaming of how I had never felt the way I did about Liam before. Not even with Zayn or Niall. Because with Zayn and Niall, everything had just been a very complicated lie.
When I broke out of my reverie, Liam was staring down at me.
"I like your smile," he said quietly. I giggled.
"I like your everything," I replied.
Liam's arms came out of nowhere, and he pinned me to the bed and kissed me gently.
"Liam, tell me something. How long did you like me?"
He looked at his hands, a sad smile playing on his lips.
"I had always had problems with my old girlfriend, Danielle. I don't know if you've met her, she's a grade above you. Anyways, I just remember meeting you and being stunned. And then I saw Niall ask you out. And it made me so angry. I don't have words to describe how it felt. It sort of hurts to talk about it," he said, getting up and looking out the window.
I got up slowly and hugged him from behind.
"They don't tell you girls can ruin your life," he said, to himself. "They don't tell you how happy they can make you, either."
I smiled to myself. It was cute to hear him talk about me as if I couldn't hear him.
"Do you need a ride home?" He asked, turning around. My arms fell away and I nodded.
Liam drove me home, taking several wrong turns "by accident" so we could keep talking. We talked quietly about trivial things, only, though. Neither of us mentioned Zayn or Niall.
As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, I was still completely torn up about them. Though Liam had made me feel a million times better, I still felt numb that they could have both been so cruel. A hurt like the one they had inflicted upon me was going to take time to heal.
Luckily, the door was open, so I slipped into the house unannounced, and went up to my room. Even though all I had done today was eat, watch a movie, and sleep, I was still very tired. I threw on a pair of shorts and a baggy shirt and flopped down on my bed.
There was a knock on my door. Most likely Tricia, asking me about how the project with Evie went.
"Come on in, its open," I called out.
Niall walked in, slowly.
"Niall, what are you doing here?" I exclaimed. Of all the times to look like shit, he had to see me now...
"Zayn let me in. I figured I had a right to talk to my girlfriend after she went missing," he practically shouted. Even with an angry frown on his face, he was still so good looking. His blond hair was disheveled, as if he had spent the past day running his fingers through it. He was wearing dark jeans, his white UCLA sweatshirt, and his classic white Supras. His cheeks were flushed with anger and his blue eyes were electric.
Part of me wanted to forgive him right then and there. Part of me wanted to run up to him, tell him I was sorry, and ask him to forget this whole mess.
Instead, I looked in the opposite direction and swore in my head:
Your stupid perfect face is ruining my life and I hate you!
"I'm NOT you're girlfriend, Niall. I never was. Not really. I mean I thought I was dating a normal boy, not some famous singer! You fucking lied to me, Niall!" I shouted back.
"Cara, I thought you knew! I told you countless times! I was always talking about the music business! I was always mentioning concerts. I was always talking about band practice. I even told you at the private room at Nandos because I was famous!" He was shouting now, for real.
Every single argument I had had against Niall died in my throat.
Oh god. He was right. He had told me. Countless times. I just hadn't thought he was serious. When he said 'concerts' I thought he meant they performed at coffee shops. I had thought he was joking about being famous at Nandos, for Gods sake!
I explained that, and Niall gave me a sad look.
"Cara, I would never want to hurt you. But I didn't lie to you!"
"I know that now, Niall. I'm sorry, too. It's all my fault, after all!"
"It doesn't matter. I just need you to know that you're the most important thing in my life, One Direction included. And the only things I plan on changing about you are your name, address, and viewpoint on men."
I couldn't help myself. He was staring at me so intently, with such determination.
I ran up to him and hugged him. We rocked back and forth hugging for what seemed like ever.
"I need to take things slow, though, this time Niall. I want to do things right," I said.
Niall nodded, taking my hand and leading me to the bed.
He reached over and dimmed the lights.
"I'm tired," I mumbled, lying down, stretching my legs out, so that they crossed over Niall's.
"Same," he mumbled. "Let's just get some sleep."
I took his hand in the dark and clung to his fingers. It wasn't the same feeling I got with Liam. I had completely forgiven Niall, true. And yes, I wanted to be with him. It wasn't fair to him to end our relationship after he had done nothing but tell the truth.
But in the time that I had been mad at him, I had discovered my feelings for Liam. And it wouldn't be fair to him to just ignore them.
Before I could formulate a plan, I let the exhaustion I had felt all day engulf me once more, and I fell asleep.
A/N: Hi guys, sorry I didn't update for such a long time! I don't have many excuses, but just school has been really busy, and I went to the East Coast for a while so I was busy with that. And then there's this boy haha. Also, my anorexia has sort of come back, so that has been hard to deal with.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME, I will updating lots more soon, I promise! I will be adding more chapters almost daily (hopefully). Also, I know there is no Louis and Evie in this chapter. Don't worry that is coming soon. They will have some adventures and drama of their own!
I hope you guys like this chapter and please please please review it! I say it every time, but the reviews are the only reason I keep staying up so late to write and edit these stories :p So keep reviewing, it means so much to me! Thanks! :) Oh, and have a lovely Thanksgiving everyone!