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Fifty Ways to Annoy the Soutaicho
Pipadae
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Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Nor do I own this idea. It was all Kirani56's idea, and I'll love her forever for letting me use it in Bleach. In fact, if you love Danny Phantom, you should go read 52 Ways to Annoy Vlad. It's fantastic. (:
9. Put pink dye in his beard-shampoo.
As a matter of fact, Ichigo and Renji had recently become quite skilled at sneaking in and out of Yamamoto's office. So, of course, it was no hard task to sneak into his bathroom, make a few changes to his hygiene supplies, and sneak back out without catching anyone's attention. Too easy.
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The old man groaned as he shuffled back to his office. Today had been long and grueling. Not only was he tense from anticipation of another Renji-Ichigo-Surprise-Attack, but Ikkaku, taking after his dear captain, had challenged the entire seventh squad to a simultaneous duel, Unohana had complained that Hanatarou had gotten lost in the sewers again and was nowhere to be found, and Yachiru had eaten thirteen hell butterflies (one from each squad, she claimed) and barfed in Byakuya's koi pond, leaving both the captains of the eleventh and sixth squads very, very angry. By the Soul King, he thought, running Seireitei was getting annoying. He needed a good, long, hot, shower to relieve his stress.
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Yamamoto strolled out of his office, feeling much relieved. A whole hour had been spent in the bathroom, and now he was feeling fresh and ready to face the day once more. And what better way than to start than with a captain's meeting?
As the old man walked down the street, he felt someone's gaze trained upon him. Cracking open a usually closed eye, he spotted a young boy, most likely from the fourth division, staring at him curiously. He turned the glance into a glare, and then frightened boy scurried off. What in Soul Society had the boy been doing? Honestly, he wasn't that impressive. Well, maybe a bit.
As he continued on his path, he noticed that a very odd number of people continuously shot glances his way. As he passed vice-captain Matsumoto, she giggled and turned away. Yamamoto was confused. Was there something in his teeth, perhaps?
The soutaicho reached the meeting room of the captains of the Gotei 13. Still peeved from the perpetual peeking he had received, he strode to his usual position at the head of the room. The nine other captains followed in behind him. As the door swung closed, Kyouraku wolf-whistled, and Zaraki stifled a chuckle. Yamamoto glared. He still wasn't happy with the eleventh captain from the pretended arrancar incident. And what was so funny anyway?
"Yama-jii," Ukitake said, blushing a bit. He coughed, then continued. "I quite like what you've done with your beard."
My beard? What? The soutaicho glanced down, and for the first time that day, he realized his beard was as pink as Kusajishi-fukutaicho's hair. The old man let out a howl louder than a hollow's and stormed out of the room.
Well, actually, being a girl, I have absolutely no idea whether or not guys wash their beards, and therefore need beard-shampoo. Though, with a beard as magnificent as Yama-jii's, you'd expect he'd have some pride and wash it. If someone of the bearded male (or female, I suppose) population would kindly tell me whether or not you guys wash your beards, that would be much appreciated. Thank you kindly. (:
Anyways, you're welcome for updating within a few hours of my last post. It's currently spring break and I'm bored out of my mind, so this will probably happen often this week. Review away, mortals.