Episode Ten: Collection and Extraction Bloopers

ariatheguardianangel106: I thought about that actually, but I couldn't find a good way to word it. Sorry!

Guest: I'm confused by your brain also.

All unfamiliar lines are mine yadda yadda.

"Once we learn all his weaknesses," Lance mused, "we can drive up to his front door and challenge him to a fight. Winner gets the universe!"

"Hopefully it's not you in that fight," Keith grumbled. "Or we're dead."

"RUDE."

"Most of it was a garbled mess, but one thing kept repeating; something called a 'Universal Station.'"

"Universal Station?" Hunk repeated curiously. "Like, the kind of station that controls the universe?"

Pidge shrugged. "Well, we are translating it from Galra, so it could be 'Galactic Hub.'"

"Or Space Ace," Lance suggested.

Everyone stared at him for a moment. "What?"

"It's…base. Space Base," Coran managed.

Lance clapped a hand to his forehead. "Ohhhhhhh. That makes so much more sense."

"I'm a part of this fight against Zarkon as much as anyone. I'm going. Does anyone have a problem with that?" Allura demanded.

Coran looked helplessly at the rest of the paladins, who instantly turned away, whistling and scratching the back of their heads. Shiro shrugged. "Fine. Suit up."

The high pitched shriek that came out of Coran's mouth had not been what anyone was anticipating, and within moments Pidge and Lance were keeping each other up, laughing hysterically and wiping tears from their eyes.

Allura had a smile quivering on her face as she glanced towards her father. "You see what I mean about the screaming scenes, Dad?"

Alfor rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, I got it."

"Do you guys remember when we studied algorithms at the Garrison," Hunk said, glancing between the other paladins eagerly, "and Mr. York told us that joke about the ghost learning symbol la…la…bleh. Yeah, that's it."

Hunk rolled his eyes, ignoring his snickering cast mates. "Symbol-la-la-logic. Totally what the joke was about."

They all waited anxiously as the Galra soldier appeared on screen, looking puzzled by his silent counterpart. "He's still looking," Lance hissed, leaning out a little. "I think he's waiting for a-"

He lost his balance and promptly tipped sideways onto the floor. The Galra sentry on screen gasped, overdramatic with a grin on his face. "INTRUDERS!"

Lance scowled at him from the floor. "Oh shush."

"How are you going to get in?" Keith asked Allura incredulously.

She smiled, pulling her helmet off and tucking it under her arm. "I'm going to walk right through the front."

They all stared at her for a long second, which eventually grew to an awkward silence, and suddenly Hunk snickered. Alfor slapped his palms onto his arm rests. "Hunk! What is so funny?"

Hunk threw up his hands apologetically. "I'm sorry!" he promised. "I just laugh when I get uncomfortable!"

"That was a rather long take," Allura offered.

"We were trying to have enough footage to dramatically make you taller and purple."

"…well okay then."

"I will need a change of costume," Allura agreed. She nodded to the fallen sentry. "I can use his uniform as a disguise."

"I can't let you go in there alone," Shiro protested.

"Excuse me? I do not need your permission!"

The rest of the paladins leaned over to look at him, unamused looks on their faces, and Pidge toppled over after only a moment, hitting the ground.

Alfor rubbed his clipboard up and down his face as the cast laughed and helped her up. "How many minutes into the episode are we, Bradley?"

"Uh…about eight, sir."

"Fantastic."

Behind the Scenes

"You're telling me I have to fit in there," Shiro deadpanned, staring down at the trash junk box with approximately enough space for his curled up body to squeeze into.

"Yes," said the props manager.

Shiro ran a hand over his jaw, sighing in exasperation. "Yeah, okay." He turned back to the team, shooting them a withering glare. "Not one word."

They held back their snickers for as long as possible, but the moment Shiro accidentally tripped and somersaulted onto the floor, they were gone.

"Stop it, Hunk!" Pidge scolded. "I think we can teach it to help us. Would you like to help us, Mr. Robot?"

The robot whirred it's head so rapidly back it forth that it flew off and across the set, beaning one of the equipment hands in the head and scuttling over the floor. Hunk and Pidge burst into chest heaving laughter, Lance not far behind them, and Alfor himself had to suppress the wide grin on his face.

"Someone uh…someone fix the robot? Please?"

"Cut!" Alfor called.

"Quick question," Lance mused. "Does Allura talk about me when I'm not in the room?"

"Oh yeah, all the time," Hunk said matter-of-factly.

Lance popped his head up. "Really?"

Hunk grinned. "Yeah yeah. She's all like, 'Oooh, Lance. He looks so fine, I'm all a twitter.' Then she turns red and makes me swear not to tell anyone."

"I knew it!" Lance cheered, only to get smacked in the face with Pidge's robot. He yelped, and Pidge bit back a smirk.

"Whoops."

Alfor turned to the lead camera operator, a glimmer in his eyes. "Tell me you-"

"Got that? Oh yeah."

"Keep it."

"I can't believe it," Coran gasped in horror. "They've found a new way to acquire quintessence!"

"Guys," Keith whispered. "I'm going to steal some of this…quint whatever."

"Oh for real?" the guy in the droid suit groaned. "I had to give a tongue twister lecture on what quintessence is and he just gets to say quint whatever?"

"You're a robot," Lance pointed out.

"No justice."

Behind the Scenes

"Hey Lance? Can you move?" Shiro asked, reaching around Lance with a pair of tongs to try and grab at the fruit platter on the other side of the actor. "I'm craving strawberries."

Lance cocked his hip and twisted so that he was blocking Shiro's view further, eyes scanning him in appraisal and free hand tapping his hamburger bun. "Hmm, I dunno. How hungry would you say you are? On a scale of one, being 'nah I'm full,' to five, 'would eat a rabid bear?'"

Shiro studied him for a moment. "Solid three."

"Yeah, all right, you pass."

He stepped aside and glanced back at Lance, hand hovering over the fruit. "This is going to become a regular thing, isn't it?"

Lance just grinned.

"I'm not leaving you!" Shiro snapped, fighting back another soldier.

The pod doors started shutting, the warning beeping through the corridor. "You have to!" Allura shouted.

She grabbed Shiro by the collar and heaved backwards and forwards, tossing him to the door and missing, his body smacking into the wall and sliding to the ground, where he laid groaning. "Owwww," he whined. "That was way harder than I expected."

Keith and Lance ran over to help him up while Pidge and Hunk did the same to Allura. "I think I sprained my wrist," she groaned.

"Why didn't the wire fling him back like it was supposed to?" Pidge asked in confusion.

They all looked to Alfor, who was rubbing his neck sheepishly. "Uh…the maintenance guys aren't coming until tomorrow?"

"Dad, what the hell?"

Behind the Scenes

"Brought you an ice pack."

Allura glanced up from her mirror at Shiro, who was leaning in the doorway with a cold compress in his prosthetic hand. She smiled bashfully. "I should have brought you one. Sorry, I didn't realize I could throw so hard."

Shiro flushed and stepped inside, handing it over and watching as she pulled off her earrings. "I didn't either. It was…kinda hot."

Her ears went beet red and he chuckled, picking the pack back up and settling it over her bad wrist. "Twenty on, twenty off," he suggested. "Always helped me with sore body parts in football."

She smiled appreciatively.

Outside the door, the rest of the group exchanged money to Pidge, Lance cashing in a sizeable amount and grinning in delight as he shoved it into his pocket. "Fuck yeah," he hissed.

Pidge swatted him, scribbling down the exchange in her notebook. "You only won the "hit on" pot. There's still the actual date pot, and the official announcement pot."

"Won't take long," Keith decided.

Lance snorted. "Yeah. How oblivious can two people be?"

They strolled off together, leaving Pidge and Hunk to look at one another like they were on The Office and exchange even more money.

Haggar caught them as they left the room, her eyes sparkling and her silky white hair cascading down her shoulders, fresh from the shower. "Did I see you two exchange money for klance?"

Pidge grinned. "Yup. Wanna up it?"

She slapped a ten into Pidge's hand with a wink. "That's for the 'hold hands' pot, though. Set me down for two weeks from now."

Pidge jotted it down in her notebook and then tilted her head, glancing back at Hunk before speaking again. "You're into pranks, right?"

The smile on Haggar's face widened. "What do you have in mind?"

Anyone have any clever nicknames for Haggar? Like how we call Zarkon 'Zee?'