Chapter 9: High Flying Adored

You won't care if they love you

It's been done before

You'll despair if they hate you

You'll be drained of all energy

All the young who've made it would agree

-Evita

"Four more days, this has been the longest three weeks of my life." I flopped back on my bed, shielding my eyes to not see the wedding dress as Kirsti folded it up from Margarita's last fitting. She gave a broken chuckle and motioned for me to come to the vanity for another face wash. "No, not again. My skin can't take anymore scrubbing. Margarita will do her make up magic before wedding anyways. I'll go visit father, maybe he's decided to cancel the wedding." She snorted. "Don't use that tone with me, anything is possible." Kirsti just shrugged, her judgmental silence growing incredibly frustrating by the day.

It had been a long three weeks, by sure. There had been more clips from the rebels; we lost Districts 3 and 11. And Peeta, though the tracker jacker venom had begun it's work he still was foolish, he still betrayed us and warned all of them. Well, he fell to the bait and warned them. Why else would we have let him know?

I whipped a smile onto my face as I entered father's office and gleefully found him alone. "Four days, papa, and you walk me down the aisle. Do you feel old?"

"Of course, my rose, anything you say. Now I'm glad you're here, I was just about to send for you, I have instructions." He gestured to the seat across his desk and I groaned. "If you makes you feel better, this isn't wedding business. The rescue party for Peeta and the others is about ready to leave. Through my sources I've sent Haymitch a message. If he agrees to meet my embassy, I'll give them a free shot to Peeta."

"Haymitch, why not Coin?" Why did that name constantly creep up on me was what I really wanted to know.

"Haymitch has something I can use to pull him here. You." I raised my eyes from scratching the filth out from under my nails. "You will be the emissary that he is expecting to meet."

"Me?" My tone wasn't surprise, who was better than I to entrap the traitor?

"You. He knows any trap I lay would have to be perfect enough that there was no chance you would be harmed, and there are very few of those I'd be confident Haymitch wouldn't slip from. He also trusts you, for whatever it is worth."

I picked up a paperweight from his desk, tossing it back and forth in my hands. "What if they lay a trap for me?"

"Then you know what to do." He handed me a white rose that I tucked into my hair. "Lower, my rose, so you can reach it if need be." I adjusted it, testing my capabilities as though hands were tied.

"Terms?"

"Complete surrender. The occupants of thirteen spreads evenly into the other twelve districts and we destroy the base. Coin's execution, and permanent detainment of Katniss. The other ones I want custody of can be arranged and bargained if you so wish. There is a debriefing file on the hovercraft." I nodded, replacing the paperweight and immediately running a checklist through my head.

"I shall send Kirsti to gather clothes, Margarita's focus is on the wedding. At any point, am I allowed to order fire?"

He smiled up from the papers in his hands. "Only if they move first."

"Lets hope they do then." My day could use for a little excitement.

X X X

"I'm growing tired of your games, Abernathy." The clock on the wall read we had been here for two hours, passing terms back and forth. Already I had given Finnick and Peeta house confinement under Peacekeepers back in their own district. What more did he want? "Do you agree to our terms or no? It's a simple question."

He smiled and folded hands behind his head. "In that case, no. I am in Coin's service, I won't offer her up for execution."

I knew he wasn't going to budge, that this would be the end. I just wouldn't let him think I accepted defeat. "Are you in her service? I'm highly surprised she let you come here."

"I told no one where I was going, all they know is that they need to get Peeta and the others out, they know nothing of why it will be so easy."

"So Haymitch Abernathy has decided to become the silent hero. That's a new face for you."

"Maybe I wanted to see you." For the hundredth time, I wanted to punch him, to arrest him or anything.

"No you didn't. You wanted to do something for your little Mockingjay princess." I couldn't even bring myself to say her despicable name. Watching his face was disgusting enough. "You're wrapped around her finger."

"Yes, I support the Mockingjay. I support the Rebellion. Why would I deny it to you? Just listen for a moment. Maybe I did come to see you."

"Why?" My arms lifted in exasperation as I slouched back in the seat.

"Katniss is important to me, but you are the only person I've ever thought of as something like a child…" His eyes shifted from my to the camera hanging in the corner momentarily. Did he know it was a direct feed back to papa? "My child."

"People don't leave their children." They didn't. Ever. Family was the ultimate blood, didn't he see it? We were nothing like family, Haymitch and I. We never could be.

"Katniss is in my mind, my focus, but you are in my heart."

"Then listen to your heart. Even if you don't agree to complete surrender, I'll pardon you right now if you admit you were wrong." Was it longing that plagued my voice? Did I want him to come with me so bad? I didn't know if I could give a pardon, but papa wouldn't go against it if I asked. Not again, not like Thresh. He wouldn't do that to me twice.

"Maybe the conflict of the two of you that keeps me awake at night still isn't sorted out enough to make that choice."

I sighed, bored out of my mind. In the metal table, I caught a blurred reflection and remembered the weapon delicately held in my hair. "I could end all of this, right now. I have the tools."

"Your father is a fan of poison, will that become your tool as well then?" I knew the clip Finnick had aired; it had played on my way here. I just was stupid enough to think Haymitch wasn't behind it. "I just don't think he'd ever use it for suicide."

"Suicide? I was thinking to use it on you." My fingers ripped off a leaf, shoving it towards Haymitch. I would watch, just like I did with grandmother. I would watch and smile. "Eat one leaf and those conflicted feelings won't bother you anymore."

He took the leaf and shredded it before tucking it into his pocket. Too bad it wasn't a touch poison. "Not today, little one. I take it this meeting is adjourned?"

"Very well, as you will not submit to our terms." The chair squealed on the tiled floor as I pushed from the table.

Yet before I could stand, his hand clasped on my wrist. "Come away with me, December, come back to Thirteen. Leave all the strife in the Capitol."

"You've left me before, why ask me to come now?" A sneer played on my lips, and I jammed my heel into his toes to make him drop his hand.

Though he released his grip, he acted though there was no pain in his toe. Bummer. "You are still angry about me choosing the rebellion then? I didn't choose Katniss over you, I chose her cause over yours."

"There's no difference." A Cause? Our causes define us, don't they?

"Yes there is." He knelt on the ground, reaching for my hands once more but I pushed him off.

"I've moved on from that. Do you know what I'm still upset with?" Thresh's face played in my mind, that face on the TV screen that started everything bad. "That single clip, the Thresh one. That was a low blow, Haymitch."

"And you handled it just well. I knew you would, that's why I let them do it." I handle everything well, it doesn't me I like it. Still, there was collateral damage.

"Really? Have you ever thought that Darren is your fault? My wedding is in four days. It is a pity you won't be there."

"Trust me, little one, everyday I ask myself why I've done a lot of things, including things about you, all about you. I want to be at your wedding, but I'm not going to be able to."

There are so many riddles you need to try to understand. Where was the riddle, Thresh, in an old man gone delusional? An old man who couldn't set his priorities?

"Go away." I wasn't sure if I was speaking to Thresh in my head or Haymitch at my feet. I wanted them both gone for just one single moment to my own brain.

Haymitch stood, walking to the door and looking everywhere but at me. "One day you will fall, little one. Maybe not in this rebellion, but what about when you are old and have lost your pretty face? Where do you go up from here, tell me that. What happens when one word can't make them scream your name anymore? Have you ever thought that maybe you've reached your high point?"

I laughed. He was delusional, that's all. No one would ever stop screaming my name. They were programmed too. "There is more room for me than you Haymitch. Didn't you once say I should become President? I won't, but I'll be his sister, rich and wife of his chief advisor. Sure, I'll be second to Cory's wife but at least I don't need to plan how to spend the party money, she'll do it for me. They'll always love me, you're the fool who can't see it."

"Listen to me, if like usual you fail to hear every other word, hear this." Oh, I heard everything all right. That's why I wished I had a knife in my hand to aim at his heart. "When we win, I don't want you to be scared. I promise, no harm will come to you. I swear."

I laughed while he pushed on the handle, the door swinging open before one last thought popped into my head. "Haymitch? What was the third thing in the jar you gave me when I was little?"

"Dirt, like the others."

I huffed, knowing I could have guessed that. "From where?"

"The Outskirts."

The City Circle, District 12 and the Outskirts. They had nothing in common. I still didn't see the picture. "Why?" Maybe I didn't care.

He glanced at the camera once more, and then quickly turned. "Goodbye December Everett Snow. I'll see you again, once all of this is over."

No doubt you will, when I come to mock you in your jail cell.