A/N: I own nothing. This is un-beta'ed so please be kind.
Chapter 10
Exodus
You fix your make up, just so
Guess you don't know, that your beautiful
Try on every dress that you own
You were fine in my eyes, a half hour ago
If your mirror won't make it any clearer I'll
Be the one to let you know
Out of all the girls
You my one and only girl
Ain't nobody in the world tonight
All of the stars, you make them shine like they were ours
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I
You and I
Ain't nobody in the world but you
You stop the room when we walk in
Spotlights on everybody staring
Tell all of these boys, they wasting their time
Stop standing in line, cause you're all mine
And this evening I, won't let the feeling die
I never wanna leave your side
Out of all the girls
You my one and only girl
Ain't nobody in the world tonight
All of the stars you make them shine like they were ours
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I
You and I
Ain't nobody in the world
You keep wondering if you're what I'm wanting
You don't even have to try
You don't have to try
Don't try
Don't try
You don't have to try
Out of all the girls
You my one and only girl
Ain't nobody in the world tonight
All of the stars, they don't shine brighter than you are
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I
You and I
You and I
Nobody in the world tonight
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I
John Legend - You & I (Nobody In The World) Lyrics
xoxoxoxo
He's looked for her everywhere. He's combed through every nook and cranny of the ball room, looked in the garden, and even the kitchen. Blair was just gone. He's searched the whole entire Palace, and yet he could not find her. It burned in his gut like a block of dry ice; he shouldn't have gone outside with Serena. He shouldn't have stayed outside with Serena. It wasn't fair. Blair didn't deserve his unfaithfulness.
He beats himself up the entire time he's looking for her, but it's quite obvious she's left, even before Lily informs him that Blair wasn't feeling well and Chuck had accompanied her home in his absence.
Nate doesn't understand why he feels a brief flicker of relief when he hears that she's gone. Why he heads towards the elevator instead of the exit. It devours him from the inside, but only until the doors open and Serena emerges from behind them.
They're all alone in the tiny metal box shooting through the building. She's standing on one side of the elevator, leaning against the wall, and rubbing her naked arms in a manner that screams of forced control, not saying a word only staring at him through her mascara covered lashes. They haven't spoken after Serena had shot out of the garden and into the bar, most likely to numb her conscience with scandalous amount of alcohol.
Words are irrelevant. Her eyes are doing all the talking for her.
Why are you looking for her when you want me?
We're engaged, S
Yes, I know…
Her lids close over her eyes for a moment in utter guilt, but as always after a few too many glasses of Champaign, they flutter open with an invitation.
… So what?
He barely hesitates before he gives in - like he always does - and wraps her in his arms. Their lips crash against each other and his hands devour her silk covered back until the doors behind her open. They nearly stumble into the – hopefully- empty apartment. Nate reaches out steadying them against the wall, fumbling with the button too close the doors so he has no need to let her go. She moans his name against his lips and he loosens the knot holding her hair together on top of her head. They stumble up the stairs and tumble into her bed. Within a few minutes they have rid themselves of their clothes and they drown in each other, as always. It's rash and frantic and they cannot seem to stop themselves. So absorbed in the other where they, that neither payed any heed to the silent voice mutter in content that this seemed different and oddly right in comparison to other such dalliances.
Serena stirs first, awaking fully when the sun – whom had caused the disruption to begin with- shines directly into her eyes, making her glance down at the boy laying in blissful slumber beside her. She doesn't feel as guilty or as dirty as she usually does after one of these lapses in judgement. It could be the change of scenery. Regardless, she welcomed the alteration. Nate had his arm draped across her middle, snoring softly in his sleep. She smiles tenderly, gently pushing her fingers through his hair, and presses a kiss against his temple. She swallows against the happiness that is threatening to overwhelm her, forcing herself to remember why this wasn't right.
Her throat dry and her body covered in a light shine, she tip toes to the kitchen wrapped in satin, the door creeks as she opens the fridge and reaches for the water hiding at the back. She swallows a mouthful from the bottle, leaning back against the cupboard, and only then does she notice the two cold cups of hot chocolate sitting on the counter. A frown creases into her brow as she walks closer to examine the occurrence. The faint sent of scotch litters the beverages, signalling that it was surely Chuck's creation. She traces the red blemish on the porcelain nearest to her. A perfect shade of Venetian red lipstick stains the tip of her index finger as she pulls it away. Strange how the single coloured smudge on her pale skin reminded her of a certain socialite. A knowing smile curved around her lips as she did the math, her eyes searched the room for the evidence she knew was hidden somewhere. Her thumb wiped the red from her finger. Ironic how it matched the stiletto lying carelessly discarded a short distance from her down the hallway. X plus Y equals...chimmy choe.
Instinctively she walked towards the verification of what she already suspected. Her feet moved past it only halting when it reached the large double doors leading into her stepbrother's supposedly empty bedroom.
Serena recklessly considered the consequences of her actions. They don't seem severe enough so she gives into her curiosity and watches with bated breath as the secret is revealed. A sense of déjà vu settles over her as she recalls the night of Blair's seventeenth birthday in the back of her mind.
The scene that greets her on the other side makes her heart ache with tenderness in its familiarity.
She scans through the room littered with pieces of clothing. His black jacket is thrown over her slightly differently shaded dress and her shoes are covered by his shirt, or at least the one that made it to the bedroom.
She focuses on the patterns printed on the bundle of bedding lying on the foot of the bed, while she gathers her nerves before continuing her invasion, for when she sees them, sees Chuck-and-Blair, she has no doubt that this is an intrusion they would detest simply because of the picture they unintentionally painted in their slumbering forms.
Blair was snuggled up against her sleeping counterpart, her hand in his as it rested on his stomach, her hair strewn across his chest and their legs tousled in the dark sheets barely covering them. Blair's eyelashes created small shadows that dances across her cheekbones as she slept, her lips were parted slightly and her expression so serene that it seemed almost godly. Chuck in comparison to when a smirk permanently graced his features, seemed oddly young. In this moment, without his dark eyes penetrating your darkest secrets, he reminded her of the little boy that use to pull her hair, or the young man who rushed to her aid in Montreal a brief few months ago.
Serena pulled back closing her eyes against the blatant reality that had suddenly transported her back to a time of endless sleepovers in the Hamptons, of summers spent laughing and running in the sun. Of days spent as a foursome instead of a couple and their best friends. In that moment, when Serena – the blonde, light hearted golden girl – realises that maybe, just maybe, this was how it was supposed to be, it's like a lightning shot to the head. She turns around soundlessly. The image of two people intertwined in such an intimate, innocent and peaceful way, fills her mind's eye so completely that she can't erase it. She walks back to the kitchen placing the cups in the washer and heads back to her room, an idea forming in her head.
Nate is still asleep when she crawls back into bed, snuggling tightly against him and drifting off into a dream world where they were all still young and innocent. It could have been hours later when she finally awakened again, finding Nathaniel already awake when she opened her eyes.
"Good morning, Sunshine" he whispers softly, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead, truly meaning the nickname. She's like a ray of bright sun, a fact only accentuated by the pale yellow robe she was wrapped in. Her tangled hair looked no less flattering than it had the night before when it had been done up by paid professional hands. Inevitably, it made his smile widen. How utterly perfect and exquisite she was.
"Where did you disappear to earlier?" he asked, attempting to wipe the goofy grin he knew was spread across his face by bending closer and tenderly removing a strand of hair that had stuck to her mouth.
"Went to get some water" She answered lazily, stretching her long limbs to unwind the tightness that had settled into them as she'd slept. "It's so hot; we should've been in the Hamptons already." She commented absentmindedly, kicking the clammy sheets of her legs.
"Yes," Nate laughed, leaning over her, purposely brushing his legs against exposed ones, he took the bottle she'd placed on the bedside table earlier, gulping down the remaining half of it. "That was the plan."
"And why has the plan changed?" Serena asked, puling Nate down on top of her by wrapping her arms around his waist.
"Chuck happened." Nate replied, kissing her tenderly before rolling off of her and back onto his side of the bed.
"I'm sure Chuck would love to get out of the city for a breather, especially to clear his head after Bart's offer."
"You know about that?" Nate asked a bit surprised.
"Yeah." She nodded, sitting up excitedly, the plan in her head taking shape while she looked up at Nate with sparkling eyes. "I'm sure he's allowed to go to the Hamptons. It's kind of a summer must." Nate studied her, not completely sure if she was being serious.
"If we go to the Hamptons, Serena...I won't be able to see you. I'm supposed to be staying with Blair." His smile falters just a bit, as the name drops like a weight between them.
"I know, but now that Chuck's back we could all stay at our house." She laughed, folding her arms around his neck in comfort. "We'll all be staying in the same house. Like when we were younger." Serena whispers comparatively into his ear.
"But what about..."
"Stop worrying, Archibald." She berated him lightly, tracing the frown lines on his brow with a dainty finger before swinging her legs off the bed.
"All will be taken care of, Natie." She added with a smile, bending over to place a chaste kiss on his lips as she took her leave, leaving Nate behind to ponder her undecipherable words as he watched the door close behind her bellowing yellow satin robe.
xoxoxoxox
Chuck's hand hovered in the air, every fibre in his being urging him to turn the damn doorknob and push the door open, but still he didn't. Invading the privacy she so obviously, desperately sought seemed wrong to him on a level he's never lowered himself to, so instead of doing what he burned to do, he turned on his heels and headed the other way, turning another knob and leaving the sanctuary of his boyhood bedroom behind him, along with the lingering sent of Channel no 5.
The place seemed uncharacteristically quiet, except for the staff moving through their daily chores like ghosts. Chuck barely acknowledged the creatures scouring around in their black and white uniforms as he made his way to the kitchen and took a seat at the counter, pulling his hand through his already shamelessly untidy hair, in an unbreakable habit of bone deep exhaustion ... and not the good kind.
He could finally think clearer now that she wasn't standing in front of him. He could order his thought, strategize in a way. Try to find a solution, or at least a way to resolve the situation.
This was not part of the plan. She was not part of the plan.
The mark on his shoulder started to throb, a dull reminder of a similar situation he'd found himself in not too long ago.
God, how desperately he wanted to get away from it all, how he wanted to tell his father to shove his elaborate ploy so far up his insatiable ego that it ceased to exist, how dearly he wanted to take out his phone this second and charter a jet to his Monaco estate, but he did not. He fought against it. This time he wouldn't run. He couldn't. This was not the way to handle the problem. There were too many prominently important people involved.
He chuckled lightly, generating a stare or two from the staff.
Odd how time had done nothing but worsen the problem he'd run from so many years ago. The players might have 'grown-up' and 'evolved', but the game had remained exactly the same. The only advantage he had this time, was that he might have one extra person in his corner, one partner to help him fight the final battle, because after this one, there would either be no reason to continue the fight or there wouldn't be enough people left to finish it.
"Goooood Morning, Chuck" Serena sang as she slung herself down in the chair next to him.
Speak of the devil; Chuck smirked to himself, turning towards the bouncing blonde.
"Indeed it is."
Acknowledging her greeting, he pulled the pot of coffee closer and poured her a cup.
"I wanted to talk to you last night, but after a certain hour, you seemed to have disappeared." She remarked with glee, concentrating very hard on the task of pouring sugar and milk into the black goo Chuck had poured her. He preferred it strong and black, she didn't particularly like coffee and she was sure she had mentioned the fact to Chuck a few times, but it must have slipped his mind.
"Talk to me now." He insisted, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed and an eyebrow rose, clearly stating that she had his full attention.
Serena nodded, grimacing when she accidently swallowed a large amount of hell brewed coffee.
"What you discovered at the Antebellum..." She attempted to begin, sure that her throat muscles were being burnt raw "...it's been going on for a while now, but then we stopped and kind of started again." The words seemed unsure as she spoke them, but she appeared to be brutally honest and open as she kept eye contact with the only person who could really understand.
She had expected him to make some dirty remark, or at least smirk in victory but instead all she got was a silly, sad smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. It left her speechless, her heart aching for the brother that knew too much and felt too deeply.
"What, exactly are you trying to accomplish, Serena?" Chuck asked in that low tone he used when he was being tender or caring.
"I want you to understand that it wasn't on purpose. It wasn't planned, it just...happened." At this Chucked laughed a little, cocking a mocking eyebrow at the universally used line. Serena smiled in response, attempting another sip of the poison he'd poured her earlier to try and sooth the burning in her throat, silently thanking God that he wasn't judging.
"Blair will be humiliated by this if it comes out, S."
"I know, but that was never my intention."
"The road to hell was paved with good intentions, Serena. I'm living proof of that." The words came out darker than he'd meant for them to, but it resonated with Serena.
She placed her hand over his, drawing his attention back to her.
"She cried for a week after you left." She said softly. There was no need to elaborate. Chuck knew exactly what she was talking about.
"I don't understand why. She turned away from me. I was to dark for her."
"I think it scared her that she could relate to you. I think she might have been afraid of what it would mean for her to..."
"Be with someone like me." He interrupted. The pain was evident even as he swallowed some coffee to mask the hoarseness of his voice.
"No!" she insisted, shaking her head and shifting onto the edge of her seat in desperation. She clutched at his hand, looking directly into the dark depths of his eyes. "She couldn't admit to herself that she was wrong for so many years. She still can't. We're all still stuck inside the movie rolling in Blair's head. She'd casted you as the villain once and now that you've turned into a dark knight...it confuses her. It threw her world of balance. You know Blair, Chuck. She clings to things in order to keep control."
Chuck rolled this around in his head, feeling the truth in the words.
"You know, Serena, sometime, I'm pretty sure you have a shaman or Yoda of some kind hidden inside your head."
"Something lost. A part of yourself perhaps? That which you seek, inside you will find." Serena mocked laughingly, folding her arms in a Yoda impersonation.
Chuck just shook his head at this, smiling as he finished his cup of coffee, neither of them paying any attention to the creaking floorboards above them as another unwittingly started them all on a path of destruction.
Nate glanced around the room in unusual scrutiny. Double checking that he was not leaving anything behind for Blair to find the next time she came to visit. Satisfied that he had not left any evidence of his foray, he sneaked out of Serena's room and down the hall in a silent haste. He hated this. That's why they always met at an unknown destination as to not risk bumping into someone they might know – or even worse, someone who might know Blair.
In such haste was he that he'd apparently forgotten a lesson learned in kindergarten: Always tie your shoelaces, or else you'll fall flat on your ass, if not exactly ass, maybe your recently washed golden boy face.
Nate grunted as he hit the floor with force, hitting his eye against the top stair and causing a crimson stain to develop on Lily's beautiful cream Persian carpet. Startled by the sudden loud noise, Serena's half full cup slipped from her hands. Chuck, sensing the unavoidable disaster, made a grab for the tumbling porcelain only to have it land right on his expensive silk trousers- in the crotch area, of course. He swore silently, watching as the extra strong coffee bloomed like a rose in spring, soaking into the heavily absorbent fabric.
"Well, this is just perfect." Chucked hissed through his teeth, dabbing at the stain on his trousers with the dish rag a maid had hastily provided, trying not to burn himself more that Serena already had. Nate stumbled upright, clutching his eye as blood continued to gush out in a tiny stream. Serena stood dead still staring at each of the men in turn, not really knowing who to assist first. Deciding that Nate needed more care she clumsily turned around to go fetch the first aid kit, only to bump smack into Blair as she attempted to make her breakaway in the mitts of all the confusion.
All four of them simply stalled. No one made a move other than to stare at another. Nate was the first one brave enough to attempt motion, not being able to stunt the bleeding effectively with his palm he stumbled over to the first aid kit that had miraculously appeared on the counter and fished out a cotton ball to press against the wound. Unfortunately this also caused all the attention in the room to shift from Blair to Nate, Including Blair's.
Chuck got up slowly, anticipating the blow out that is sure to follow after seeing her fiancé in the same clothes he had been dressed in the previous evening, and since he had not been with her any explanation would be unacceptable. This was a social decorum that was set in stone.
"Well, isn't this interesting." Chuck said valiantly, pouring every inch of charm he had into the simple sentence in a desperate attempt to break the tension that was rapidly growing.
"Yes, indeed." Blair said sweetly, sarcasm dripping from the words, causing Chuck to instantly regret his feeble effort "...just like old times." She finished the sentence with enough venom to poison every last apple in existence, shifting her gaze from Nate back to Serena. Nate stepped towards her, finally realising what was happening.
"Blair...What are you doing here?" He asked guiltily, completely giving himself away.
Blair stood rooted to the spot. All too aware of her empty ring finger and equally conscious of the light blue hicky she had discovered above her right breast after her shower, but even more afraid of the fact that she might be losing her grip on her life. So she did what she was so use to doing. She lied.
"I fell ill after dinner last night, and when you were nowhere to be found, Chuck was gallant enough to bring me here to watch a movie, during which I fell asleep." It was obviously a lie. They all knew that very well, but they also knew what was scripted to happen next and as such Nate fell back into his roll of Prince charming without so much as a hint of difficulty and only a small amount of regret as he threw an apologetic look at Serena. Chuck breathed a sigh of frustration and got up abruptly from where he'd been sitting.
"If that is all, and if Nathaniel is not to seriously injured, I'll take my leave." Chuck smiled politely, placing the dish rag on the counter next to him.
"Wait..." Blair interjected quickly. "Thank you for taking care of me last night..." She said loudly stepping up and wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "I'm sorry" She whispered softly, for only him to hear, before transforming back into the ice queen.
"We are all grown up now, but it's nice to all be together again. Isn't it?" She asked after she'd picked up the first aid kit and gotten the disinfectant out.
Serena stared in disbelieve at the proceedings. It took a few seconds, but she shook it off. This was not going to happen again.
"Yes, it is nice, but the Hamptons would be so much better." Serena chimed in, deciding to fast forward her plan a bit and causing Chuck to stall in the middle of the room. If they could all just get out of the city for a while, things might be able to work themselves out. He closed his eyes for a moment. Trying to decide if what he was about to do was for the best or worse, but after hearing Blair deny him again, he plainly could not keep hold of the man he'd become in his time away. The boy took over as he spun around on his heels.
"Why yes, the Hamptons would be spectacular. The heat is truly gruelling, besides, isn't it the white party tomorrow?" Serena seemed a bit shocked at the help, but accepted it, none the less, and nodded vigorously.
"Yes, we have to go! It would be your first one in eight years, wouldn't it, Chuck?"
Blair sighed inwardly; did they really think she was this stupid? She placed the plaster carefully on Nate's eye, secretly wanting to jab it into his eye, but resisting. In a moment of weakness she'd forgotten her intensions this morning, and had succumbed to the routine of her life, but this might spice things up.
"I love the white party! When are we leaving?" Blair gushed, crumbling the plastic she'd removed from the sticky side, she laughed and nodded enthusiastically, spinning on her heels and clutching her hands together in enthusiasm, making sure that Chuck could see her face clearly, and praying that he would see what see wanted him to and not what was really happening.
He saw it but chose to ignore it.
"As soon as we can all pack." Chuck answered over his shoulder as he finished his migration to his room. Leaving the other three to hush out their issues, or not. It really wasn't his problem anymore. He decided angrily, pushing open his door and resisting the urge the slam it behind him. He could not get sucked into this game again. It nearly ruined him the last time. Chuck walked into his closet, choosing clothes without any real thought, only to drop them onto his bed, which has been made since the last time he's been here. He kept his hands busy but, as always, the memories pushed towards the top.
He remembered the dark house he lived in, in Thailand. He could smell the mould that had formed in the walls from the damp ocean air and he could hear the walls creek with the wind.
Chuck sunk down onto his bed, dropping his head into his hands as he allowed the memories to over run him.
After he'd run from the Upper East side, he'd spent the rest of his school life in a hard as hell boarding school in Switzerland. It had been hell and heaven all in one, but the impression it left on his life was extremely meagre in comparison to Thailand. Thailand had changed everything. He'd arrived there as he always did, arrogant and self-centred, eager to scope out the party live and see what this place was all about.
After the argument with Bart, and Chuck's refusal to return to the US, Chuck had accepted the invitation of a friend from school to visit him in Thailand. At first it was all about the party, of course. It was during one of these parties that they happened to bump into a member of the Chirathivat family, whom in turn invited them to a dinner being hosted at they're residence in Bangkok after recognising Chuck as the son of a rather influential business man. They discussed the differences in real estate and the influence it had on tourism. By the end of the night Chuck had charmed his way into a business deal that would jump start his career and give him the break that would free him from under Bart's thumb and insure that he would never have to return home.
Chuck pushed all his available capital into a hotel in Phuket, this insured that he had to live among the people while the hotel was being build. It was during this time that he'd been forced to see the world more clearly. He started noticing tiny things, all of this jumpstarted by a whore who OD'ed in a gutter.
Chuck closed his eyes, forcing the remnants of that night into the recess of his mind. He wasn't going there today. He had far too much to do.
Spotted: C, B, N and S beginning the annual Exodus, but can it be that the favourite foursome might not be so solid as they seem? Has the summer heat begun to sweat out former, seemingly forgotten grievances? We'll have to wait and see, I suppose.
You know you love me.
XOXO
Gossip Girl
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EB