A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I kinda had writers block for a while. Here's the chapter I hope you like it. Plz as always R&R. Thanks and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.
Continued from chapter 9…
"No, I want him to stay with you." Lenalee told him as they came to a stop near the pond's edge and closer to Allen…
"You want him to what?" Kanda asked in total shock.
"Stay with you." Lenalee put simply as she started back walking towards Allen.
"Why? What the hell can I do that The Order can't?" Kanda exclaimed, "Explain that to me, this isn't making any sense to me."
Lenalee sighed and stopped yet again, "If he stays with you then he'll be less of a danger to others and probably feel more secure around instead of being overwhelmed with more than a dozen or so men roaming freely around him." She paused and looked at Kanda, "Is that a good enough explanation for you?"
"No." Kanda spit at her, "If that's the case then why then he doesn't just stay with you? Taking him out of a house full of men is good, but to isolate him and stick him with one singular man…where's the sense in that?"
"I get your point, but Kanda you know how small my apartment is. Where would he sleep?" She said challenging him to find a better idea.
"What's wrong with the couch?" Kanda said unashamed.
Lenalee reached out and smacked Kanda on his chest, "Idiot, the couch is fine for a few weeks yes, but who knows how long it will take him to get back on his feet."
"Exactly! So once again why stick him with me?" Kanda pointed out yet again. "What makes you think I want him as a permanent house guest?"
"Tell me Kanda, what the hell are you doing in the enormous house all alone? Besides moping around and feeling sorry for yourself? Being depressed isn't going to bring Alma back and clinging to all his old things isn't really helping you move on either." Lenalee said smartly, mentally smiling as she watched the fight leave Kanda.
"Let's just stop talking about this and let him decide." Kanda said voice returning to its usual monotone and his face returning to a solemn expression.
"He was always going to decide, I just needed your consent so he could stay at your place." She said and the two continued the rest of the way towards Allen in silence. As they came upon the man throwing rocks into the pond, Lenalee cleared her throat.
Allen narrowed his gaze but pretended not to pay her any mind, "Allen I want to ask you something?"
Allen paused in mid throw and waited for her to continue, "Kanda and I were talking and we want to know how would you feel about leaving The Order?"
"And go where?" Allen said showing some curiosity to where this where this was headed.
"I was thinking that maybe you could stay with Kanda and that maybe—"
"No." Allen said and continued throwing rocks into the pond.
"You didn't even let me finish." Lenalee said.
"And I don't have to because I'm not leaving The Order."
"Why don't you think over it for a week or two?" Lenalee said determined not to take 'no' for an answer.
"I don't need to think about it I've given you my answer and it will remain the same this week or two weeks from now, no." Allen said once again.
"You say that now Allen, but who knows you could change your mind." With that said, Lenalee left the two, bidding them both a good day.
Kanda cleared his throat, "Ready to leave?"
Without a word said Allen got up from the ground, brushed off his pants and began walking ahead of Kanda, and Kanda practically jogged behind him to make sure he didn't run off. As they two got back to the truck and Kanda drove off Kanda spoke, "You don't have to if you don't want to. Really it's no big deal."
"I know and I won't, I refuse to move in with you. I don't know you from a hole in the wall and I'm not going to be taken advantage of again." Allen said angrily as he stared out of the window.
"Who said anything about taking advantage of you? I just want to help you."
Allen scoffed, "Funny, Cross said the same thing and look where I ended up. You sound just like him."
"What?" Kanda shot back.
"You're no different from him, you just want to use me. You don't care about me, only what I can do for you. You-"
"Wait a damn minute, just where the hell do you get off comparing me to him? Yes, what he did to you was wrong, but don't go blaming his actions and ill intentions on those who want to help and care for you." Kanda retorted.
"If you really cared for me, you would put me out of my misery and be done with it." Allen told him.
Kanda opened his mouth to object, but couldn't find the words to say without becoming angry and with no other words said to one another, they drove back towards The Order.
After Allen had left Lavi found himself bored with nothing to do but sit back down on the couch, nurse his broken arm and watch T.V. So stretched out as he was for an hour so eventually Lavi dozed off…
A young Lavi, no more than six or seven, sat in the middle of the floor of his home pushing around his toy trucks as his parents readied themselves for work. As they got ready to go out the door, Lavi's mother came up to him and kissed him and told him his uncle was going to keep an eye on him today while she and his father at work. Lavi smiled eagerly at this because he knew his uncle always had something planned and somewhere for them to go. So when he arrived moments later and goodbyes and hugs were given to his parents, Lavi turned his attention to his uncle. "What are we going to do today Unc?" Lavi said climbing atop of the man's lap and smiling with excited eyes. As he said that his eyes rested upon Lavi's pouting face and seemed to have an idea. "…sir will you accept collateral as I collect on the money?" There was another long pause before his uncle spoke again. "…well I know how your sexual tastes are different from most and I am willing to make you an offer, if you'll accept…" Another pause, then "We'll be there soon sir, thank you sir." Lavi's uncle hung up the phone and went up to angry young boy still sitting on the floor. "I'm sorry Lavi, do you forgive me?" "Well what if I took you somewhere special, somewhere that only you and I can go and only you and I can know about." Lavi's face brightened at this, "Where is it?" "I can't tell you, I'll have to show you. Is that alright?" his uncle said smiling wide at the boy. Lavi pouted again, "I guess." "Alright then, let go." His uncle said and they left. About an hour later they arrived in front an enormous house and Lavi's uncle exclaimed, "Here we are." "Who lives here uncle?" Lavi asked as he stared in awe at the mansion before him. "Are we going to play with all of them today?" he asked. "Why?" Lavi asked, but didn't receive an answer due to the fact that the door flung open and a man casually dressed stood in the door staring down at him. Lavi felt uncomfortable under the man's gaze and move behind his uncle. "Don't be shy Lavi, say hello." His uncle told him and pushed him inside. "Hey." Lavi said keeping his head down unable to look up at the man. "Well what do you think?" His uncle said to the man who continued to roll his eyes across Lavi. "It will have to do. This will extend your deadline for a couple of days." The man said coolly. "Thank you sir." Lavi's uncle smiled. "Leave and come back within 2 hours." The man said and Lavi's uncle turned to leave and Lavi tried to follow behind him. "No, you stay here. I'll be back ok? I 'll be right back." His uncle promised and then turned and left Lavi with the man. As the man took Lavi throughout the house and asking him numerous questions, he took Lavi into the kitchen, "You hungry?" he asked, a hesitant Lavi nodded and the man open his cabinets and brought down an enormous jar chocolate that immediately enticed the boy. He set the jar on the counter and then picked up Lavi and set him on the counter, "Dig in." He smiled at the boy as he nervously dug his hand into the jar and popped a few in his mouth. "Your momma lets you have all this?" Lavi asked putting more and more into his mouth. "You're lucky, my momma doesn't allow me to eat a lot of candy, she says it'll rot my teeth." Lavi said taking another handful of the candy. The man laughed again, "Is that right? Are you thirsty?" Lavi nodded and the man fixed him a glass of water and took it to the boy who grabbed for the cup, "I'll hold it for you your hands are all covered in chocolate." "How about we go watch some T.V.?" he asked guiding Lavi into the living room. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked Lavi. "Soon, are you ready to go?" He asked placing a hand on Lavi's thigh and massaging his way inwards. "Yes." Lavi began to fidget. "Can you move your hand?" "Is this hurting you?" the man said moving his hand closer to Lavi's privates. Lavi kicked at the man clamoring atop of him and screamed, "Get off me! Get off me please!"…
His uncle pushed him off of his lap, "Not today Lavi, Unc can't deal with you right now. I've got problems of my own." Just as he said that his phone began to ring.
"…YES, I know I have till three to come up with payment….I'm well aware of what fucking time it is!" his uncle shouted at the phone, then instantly calmed and his eyes became wide. "…um, yes sir I do fully intend to pay for it, but I have no money at the moment and I'm currently watching my nephew at the moment."
"No." he pouted.
"A few good friends of mine." He replied as they walked up to the door.
"No, it's just gonna be you."
The man chuckled at his innocence, "My mama didn't buy all this, I did."
"Okay." Lavi said as the man put the glass to his lips as Lavi drank his fill, "I think that's enough candy for now." The man said as he wipe away some of the chocolate away from Lavi's mouth and got Lavi down from the counter.
"Okay."
As they got in the living room the T.V. was already turned on cartoons and the man went and ushered Lavi to the couch where he sat down and motioned Lavi to sit on his lap. Lavi went and sat on the man's lap, "Relax." The man told him as he rubbed his up and down on Lavi's back, "I would like to sit on the couch." Lavi turned around and told the man.
Lavi unsure of what to say, remained silent and stared ahead at the T.V., "Okay," the man said as he took Lavi off his lap and placed close beside him, "Do you feel better now?" he asked and Lavi didn't respond, he felt scared and asked, "When is my uncle coming back?"
Lavi pushed his hand back, "Please move your hands, I want my uncle!"
The man put his hand around Lavi's throat and forced him to look at him, "You're so beautiful." He shoved his face closer to Lavi's and kissed him, forcing his tongue down the young man's mouth.
Lavi shot up on the couch, chest heaving and sweating as he looked around him. To the left of him, sitting in the chair beside him, sat Komui reading the newspaper. The two looked at one another, and before Komui could even open his mouth to speak,
"Don't." Lavi said and got up from the couch, stretching from the stiffness of sleeping in one position.
"Lavi…" Komui started.
"I said don't. Don't say a word about it. I'm good Komui it was just a dream." Lavi said forcing a smile towards the man as he folded the newspaper.
"You can't keep pushing it away." Komui said, "Eventually you're going-"
"I'm going out. I should be back later on." Lavi said and headed to the door.
"Where are you going?" Komui said his face growing stern as he got up and followed him to the door.
"Does it matter? I'm just going for a quick walk around the block." Lavi said and opened the door and left.
Kanda and Allen had finally arrived back at The Order, "Just think about it Allen. If not about moving in with me, then how about getting out on your own?" Kanda suggested as he stopped the truck.
In annoyance Allen rolled his eyes and mumbled lowly, "Whatever." Then Allen got out of the car and walked inside without another word to Kanda.
"Don't forget you've got another session next week." Kanda shouted after the man who clearly was not interested in a word he had said, so with a shrug of his shoulders Kanda drove home.
Inside the house, Allen went straight to his room and threw himself on the bed.
'Move in with him!' He thought, 'They must take me for some kind of fool. It's bad enough I'm staying here, the sooner I can get out of here the better.'
Allen got back up off the bed and decided to take a shower afterwards he went into the living room and watched some T.V. Around three a.m. Allen began to get drowsy and curled up on the couch, no sooner had he yanked down the thick blanket hanging on the back of the sofa and warmed himself beneath it, a slow pounding on the door started.
Determined to ignore it, Allen put a pillow over his head in hopes that whoever it was would either go away or had a key and was just being too lazy to get it out. Even after 3 minutes of stop and go knocking at the door, they had not entered nor did anyone else come to the door, leaving Allen to the be the one to open the door.
As he did a clearly wasted and red eyed Lavi barely stood up in front of him. "What took you so long?" He slurred and shuffled inside still holding onto the bottle of alcohol.
"I thought you had a key." Allen said now following the drunken man to the room.
"Nope, lost it." Lavi said fumbling with the door knob to the room, Allen brushed by him, "Here let me get that for you." He reached for the door but Lavi roughly slapped his hand away, "I don't need your fucking help!" He growled and rammed himself against the door, pushing it forcefully open.
"Are you gonna be alright Lavi? Maybe you had too much to drink? Do you want me to get you some coffee or something?" Allen said now hesitantly following the man inside the room, as he went to his bed and struggled with his shoes. "Maybe you should put that down." Allen said motioning to take away the liquor away from him.
"Don't –don't come near me." Lavi slurred.
"Lavi…" Allen said and quietly walked up and knelt beside the man, helping him to unlace and take off his shoes.
"Allen stop it." Lavi said half jerking away from Allen, "I can do it myself, I'm not a child." Pushing Allen away from him, Lavi snatched off his boots and threw them into a corner.
Allen got up and took a quick glance at Lavi's puffy eyes, "Have you been crying?"
"Just leave me the fuck alone Allen." Lavi said standing up to try and brush past the man, only to find himself wobbling and falling forward onto Allen.
"Lavi what's wrong with you?" Allen said trying to get him to stand up right.
"Nothing damn! Just get off my back." Lavi said and pushed Allen out of the way as he drunkenly made his way into the hall way, and began to bang on walls and shout curse words at the top of his lungs as he walked throughout the house and towards the backdoor and into the backyard. Along the way the other sleeping tenants of The Order began to stir and grumble, poking their tired eyes out of their doors to see what caused the ruckus. Allen apologized to all as he tried to quiet and shush Lavi on his way outside.
"Lavi you damn near woke up the whole house; I think you need to go to sleep." Allen said to Lavi who now stood staring up at the black sky.
"Fuck them, Allen. They don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves." Lavi stated darkly taking a long swig of the drink.
"What the hell has gotten into you tonight?" Allen said coming up behind him.
Ignoring Allen's question Lavi continued, "Have you ever held onto something for so long that it eats at you? And- and you can push it away all you want but it's still there and you know that no matter what you do or who you—" Lavi paused and drunk more.
"What are you getting at?" Allen asked now standing beside Lavi and as he put his head down.
"It's just-." Lavi sighed and eased himself to the ground and placed a hand to his face. "I just can't—I've never been able to understand how you could do something like that to – ." Lavi's voice seem to quiver as he continued, "They never believed me, they thought I made it all up."
"What are you talking about Lavi? Who didn't believe you?" Allen said now sitting beside him.
"I was six Allen, six. Who the hell else was I supposed to turn to and tell?" Lavi slow tears escaped him, "He used me to pay a debt to the fuck who raped me time and time again."
"What?! Who?! Lavi tell me!" a shocked Allen said at Lavi as he continued to cry.
"My uncle, he used to take me to this man's house every time he'd babysit me and leave me for hours at a time, letting this man do what he please as long as he pleased and didn't seemed object to bringing company to join in." Sorrow erased the hint of anger in Lavi's tone as he told Allen about his first time with the man. After he'd retold the story Lavi seemed to break, "My parents, my school, everyone had already deemed me a liar since I already acted out at home and school and no one wanted to deal with me. Yea they loved me, or so they said but no one believed and for nearly twelve years I figure this went on until, I ran away. It seems that no matter where I go, it's always there Allen. Always, and I can't figure out how to get rid of the pain." Lavi tilted the bottle up and drunk the remaining drops and tossed it aside.
Angry at how he exposed himself to Allen, who had placed a hand on Lavi and tried to talk to him, "Lavi I don't think I can give you any helpful advice, but I understand you, I really do."
"You must think I'm weak don't you?" Lavi turned his red tear stained face to Allen.
"No I don't, so far you're the strongest person I've met. You're the closest thing I've got to a friend, hell to family and whether you know it or not I've come to rely on you more than you know and more than I care to admit." Allen said unashamed at telling him how he felt.
"Do me a favor then Allen." Lavi said, "If there ever comes a time when I tell you something that doesn't sound true, you have to promise to believe me without a shadow of a doubt." Lavi wiped at some of the drying tears.
"What are you saying?"
"Just promise me alright." Lavi said.
"Yea okay." Allen said and the two remained in the yard for a little while longer before returning into the house for the night.